I want to start writing about Dad's 80th party...

...I really, really do.

But something major happened.

So I need to interrupt my regularly scheduled writing to bring you an important bulletin.

I have made it one of my missions in life here at Jenny Matlock to keep you well-informed at all times about many diverse aspects of life. Please consider this a full-service announcement about weiner dog eating habits.

OK.

Are you ready?

Here it is.

Weiner dogs do not like gluten-free cereal.

It is now a documented fact because I have written it down in my blog. And if something is written down in a blog it is, obviously, true. Right?

So up until yesterday I thought weiner dogs would eat anything with the exception of raw onions.

A weiner dog can hear a tiny crumb drop when he is at the other end of the house and come barreling into your kitchen with enough purpose to knock you over. A big feat for a short little dog like that.

A weiner dog can lick a rug bare if a tiny drop of coffee falls onto it.

A weiner dog can...well, you get the idea...

BUT...

Hey, do you have the number for the National Enquirer because I think they would pay big for this story. Just e-mail it to me, OK, cuz I want to finish this story so all the documentation will be official and all.

Ummm.... where was I?

Oh yea.

I think I need to make this all professional and non-emotional so the world will take this seriously.

Ahem.

1. We have a weiner dog.
2. I was taking a bath and eating cereal in the bathtub and...(no, it's not because I'm messy...it's because I was running late and this particular cereal takes about five minutes to chew for each mouthful - so there Miss Negative!)
...when 3. I put the cereal bowl down on the carpet and proceeded to wash my hair while trying not to choke on the mouthful of cereal I was still chewing on.

Did I mention a weiner dog can hear a dish set quietly on the floor at the neighbors house and will pace with great determination trying to figure out how to grow opposable thumbs so he can open the front door and get to it.

So...said weiner dog (see, doesn't that sound serious and professional and all) came flying into the bathroom with his ears a-floppin' every which way and immediately dived into said bowl of cereal.

He stopped.

He coughed.

He looked at me with big, brown, hurt eyes.

And then he daintily licked all of the rice milk out of the bowl and with a totally disgusted look on his face walked huffily away!

See, did I tell ya or did I tell ya?

This is amazing isn't it?

I knew you would be impressed and amazed just like I was.

I mean, I can tell you about my Dad's party any old day...but rarely can I have the pleasure of bringing you breaking news of this magnitude.

NosirreeBob I wasn't going to waste your time with boring tales of a party that is over when I could bring this information to you.

Please feel free to spread the word.

What?

Oh, of course you're welcome. My pleasure.

Sigh.

I am linking this post to the Follow me Friday, bloghop!