Tuesday, January 31, 2012

I think I gave Google a headache!

...or maybe it was the other way around.

My younger sister is getting married in a few weeks.

To a fireman.

At a fire station.

The bride-to-be likes bling.

The groom-to-be likes...well...ummm...manly stuff, fireman stuff.

Our younger daughter is the maid of honor and asked for a little help planning a small shower in celebration. You know...invitations, games, favors...stuff like that.

I told our daughter, "Just google 'firefighter bling wedding shower' and you'll get lots of ideas.

She gave me an odd look, but complied.

Only to return a few minutes later to say, "That didn't really come up with anything."

I said, "Hmmm...well, maybe try googling fireman bling wedding shower'.

Same look on her face.

Same result.

"Well, you're just going to have to be clever and come up with something," I informed her.

And she did.

Look how cute the invitations are:

So now I am helping my sister trying to figure out how to bling out the buffet at the fire station and guess what?

Google is no help AGAIN!!!!

I tried searching 'blinging out buffet decor for a firefighter wedding'.

Nothing. Nada. Zip.

Can you believe that?


What does Google do all day, anyway?

Lay around on the couch, taking aspirin and whining, "Nobody has a normal request anymore. Fireman bling events!!!! I'm getting such a headache, Oy vey!!!"

I tried to tie this little shower post into an Anniversary post for our nephew and his wife who got married two years ago and had a SURPRISE WEDDING!


I got a new desk calendar this year and I thought the week started with Monday but it starts with Sunday so actually their Anniversary was yesterday which didn't segue at all with my Toadally Cute post...


I'm a day late wishing a Happy Anniversary to Tom and Kris.

Or I guess I could have wished them a Toadally Happy Anniversary, but that didn't seem very romantic.


But you can read about that spectacular wedding event if you want by clicking here.

Just in case you're planning a surprise wedding.

And Google is too busy recovering from the headache we gave it over fireman bling to help you out!


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Monday, January 30, 2012

Toadally Cute

I need to be honest here.

Making craft projects with Grandlittles in a house with no kitchen is ... ummm... challenging.

Especially craft projects that involve sticky things.

Especially when all the stuff from the three rooms gutted for water damage is kinda/sorta piled around in the other rooms.


We are brave.

We are resourceful.

We are creative females ready to have a good time.

A good time involving apples, marshmallows, raisins and other sticky substances.

...and since we are brave, resourceful and creative females, we are willing to share our creations with Grandpa. Because that's how were are...

...even though he doesn't volunteer to help clean up.

And, yes, I know these are frogs...but I couldn't think of a cute word with frog in it.

And...just in case you're wondering...we are going to be kitchen-less for another four or five weeks...which will be just around the time we are moving.

At least I won't have to clean the kitchen before we go!

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Sunday, January 29, 2012

I'm done. Just done.

This little work of fiction is linked to week 91 of Saturday Centus. The eight word prompt is in bold! To read other offerings, just click here.

Don’t come around here begging for forgiveness AGAIN!

I don’t care anymore. I just don’t.

I know I should. Richer and poorer, sickness and health...violence and scary calm…’til (ohmyGodmyGodwhyhaveyouforsaken me) death.

We’ve been here before. You saying, ‘sorry’, with those wounded-puppy eyes.

Me saying, “I forgive you.”

You saying, “I’ll die without you. I’ll kill myself if you leave!”

Me thinking, “Ohpleaseohpleaseohplease…that’s the only way I’ll ever be free.”

I remember those thoughts…

…and how you tried to beat them out of me.

I have no more forgiveness! I know what you are!

The whole world knows what you are!

We know where all the bodies are buried.

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Saturday, January 28, 2012

Saturday Centus - We know where all...

Jenny Matlock

Welcome to week ninety-one of Saturday Centus.

Hi! Are we all good? I know you think I'm going to be evil and keep making you do other writing devices around the cliff hanging prompt...

But I'm not.

Because I'm really, really being nice this week.

And because Miss Nonna at Tasty Tales sent me some prompts to use...

...which means my brain can officially take the day off.



THE PROMPT THIS WEEK (THANK YOU NONNA!) IS: We know where all the bodies are buried
WORD COUNT - 100 words total PLUS the eight words of the prompt...108 words total

The regular restrictions apply: PG, no splitting of the prompt, play nicely and visit the other entries, any style or genre of writing you prefer.

Please display my link button or just a hyper-link back to Saturday Centus. Be careful to link your SC URL to the Linky and not just link to your main blog.

E-mail me directly with ???'s or ask your question in a comment and I will do my best to get back to you as soon as possible.

Feel free to link up anytime between now and next Saturday!

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Friday, January 27, 2012

Sisterly love?


Our Grandlittles had an early out from school on Wednesday and I picked them up and brought them to the house.

For some reason the littlest Grandlittle and the biggest Grandlittle were in a bickery mood with each other. They pretty much just played separately and didn't interact much at all.

When Mr. Jenny and I were driving them to meet their Mom, I suggested that we all take turns telling what we admired about each other.

We started with Grandpa.

Oh my. We all thought Grandpa was smart, and good at basketball, and a good-dog-taker-care-of-person, etc.

They all thought I was nice and kind to everyone and patient and a good hugger.

When we got to the biggest Grandlittle, Grandpa went first. "Oh," he said, "You are good at basketball and you are very smart."

I went next. "You are sooo patient with animals and are so loving when anyone is hurt."

The middle Grandlittle said something like, "You help me with my homework."

And finally, it was the littlest Grandlittle, Miss Mo's, turn.

"Hmmmm..." she said, thoughtfully with her finger on her lip in deep concentration.

"Hmmm...give me a minute here...hmmm..."

The oldest Grandlittle got a little annoyed, 'Well, gee, Momo, that's really nice of you...you can't think of anything?"

Mo continued to contemplate the difficult task.

I said, "Mo, can't you think of anything nice that you like about Julia?"

"Wellll..." she finally said, "Okay! I have it! You gave me a quarter. Once."

Then she hesitated.

"But I think that was about a year ago."

We were all silent.

Mr. Jenny and I were trying not to laugh out loud.

More silence.

I cleared my throat, "Well, Miss Mo, that was a nice thing for her to do then, right?"

Mo thought a minute more and then reiterated, "Yeah, she gave me a quarter once."

And we moved on.

Sisterly love.


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Thursday, January 26, 2012

A Memory of a Farmhouse

Busy with unpacking and trying to organize a family of five into a home with no closets, I had very little time to explore the ragged hedgerow of neglected, gangly tall bushes and high grass surrounding two sides of the property.

Fall and winter passed and it was not until the following spring that I realized there were treasures hidden in the grass beneath the overgrown pen and ink rendering of criss-crossed branches.

The gift of a slightly crumpled bouquet of tiny violet and yellow flowers from a slightly grubby child's hand, elicited my question, "Where, oh where, did you find these?"

My daughter chattered in excitement as we walked across the yard, her warm little hand cradled in mine.

Nestled in the grass were hundreds of the minute jewel-toned blossoms. Their slight, sweet fragrance surrounded them with gentle, perfumed scent.

I crouched down and touched them reverently. "Oh look, look," I told my daughter. "My grandmother called these little wild violets 'Johny-jump-ups'! Isn't that a funny name?" I tickled the tender underside of her chin with a little velvetty blossom as she giggled in delight.

I told her stories of my Grandmother who had adored gardens and all growing things. I told her how my Grandmother had also called these little flowers by the name 'Hearts Ease'. I told her that it DID ease my heart to know my Grandmother was still with me in the memory of the flowers...even though she had been gone for a long time.

My daughter was more delighted with the name than hearing the stories. "Johny-jump-up? Johny-jump-up! What a funny name!"

As the spring progressed the hedgerow continued to surprise and delight us with daffodils, forsythia and white and purple lilacs.

But none of their beautiful blooms touched my heart as much as that first little gift of Johny-jump-ups.

This little memory is written in honor of the letter “J” for Alphabe-Thursday. J is for Johny Jump Ups!

To read other 'J' offerings, just click here.

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Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Alphabe-Thursday Letter J

Good morning class. Welcome to round four of Alphabe-Thursday!

Today we will be juggling the letter:

Please link directly to your Alphabe-Thursday URL (if you don't know how to do this let me know!) and please continue to visit the five links before and after your link and leave a comment. Minimum of 10 links visited please. You can visit more if you like, of course.

I also want to let you know that each week I visit every blog. If it appears I haven't visited your blog by the following Thursday evening, please let me know!

If you have any difficulties with your link, please make sure to include the number of the link when you e-mail me. It is really difficult for me to find you easily otherwise.

If you have any questions about Alphabe-Thursday or problems doing your link just post it in a comment or send me an e-mail. I'll do my best to help you as quickly as I can.

The McLinkey will be live from 1:00 pm MST time Wednesday afternoon in an effort to assist our lovely "friends across the pond" and continue through 10:00 am MST time Friday morning!

And remember.... link back to this post, you need to be registered as a follower of my blog, PG posts only, and visit at least 10 other students (perhaps the 5 students before and after your post). The links will stay live after the final post deadline has passed so you can even wait and visit over the weekend or whenever you have more time.

Please jump up and post your letter "J" now!

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I give you proof...

...that I am NOT an over-protective Mom!

If you missed my little revelation of insanity yesterday, click here before you look at the two pictures.

Since I had quite a few e-mails yesterday asking if I could take a picture of the creepy statue, I decided to try this morning.

Oh sure, you didn't come right out and say it, but I'm thinking you might think that I think like a crazy person...


And since I totally wanted to dispel any possibility that could be even remotely true...

I woke up this morning and grabbed my daughter before she could leave on her bike.

"I'm driving you this morning!"

She thought I was being nice. She didn't know I was going to take a picture of Mr. Perv lying in wait by the doorway.

I dropped her off and then circled the parking lot.

I didn't want to get actually get out of the car considering I was wearing a 'rush-out-of-the-house-in-three-seconds' outfit, including my coral pink crocs.

So I put the window down and snapped these two shots.

I don't know why that top one keeps going sideways but I surrender to the eccentricities of blogger and you'll just have to turn your head slightly.


See what I mean?

He's creepy, right?

In a stalking, I'm going to kill your daughter and cut her into tiny pieces kind of way.

And YOU, silly reader, thought I was just being dramatic!


As if I ever would be.


And now my shadow/over-protective story is complete.

Now I'm thinking you might think that Jenny does NOT!!! think like a person verging on insanity...

And I am so relieved.


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Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Overprotective Mom?


This morning I had to go to Dunkin' Donuts.

Yes, I said 'HAD'!

It was important.

Because I needed to get boxes.

Oh, quit rolling your eyes.

I did. Have to get boxes. To pack for moving and all.


I didn't even get a donut or a bagel or go anywhere near the store or the drive through line...

Although I will admit there was a slightly smashed jelly donut on the concrete by the box bin that looked almost as good as new ... and...

Oh, close your mouth.

I didn't.

And I didn't even want to.

Just seeing if you're paying attention.


But...that's not what I wanted to write about.

I wanted to tell you that BEFORE I went to DD to get the boxes, I dropped a daughter off downtown for work. She was going to ride her bike and it was cold and since I had to go to Dunkin' Donuts to get the boxes I told her I'd give her a ride.

It was dark when I dropped her. It's always dark and there's always this creepy looking guy in the corner by the recessed door waiting to go in. I'm always freaked out by the way he stands right by the door...watching...waiting...

He was there again this morning.

My daughter hopped out of the car and started to walk away.

I called her back.

"Look, just sit in the car here until they open, and then I'll leave."

She looked surprised. "Why would you want to do that? It's fine, it's only six minutes."

I insisted. "Look, sweetie, I'll just wait here with you."

"Mom? It's fine. Really. What are you doing?"

I glanced fearfully at the creepy looking guy by the door. "I dunno, I just have a bad feeling about that guy. He really, really creeps me out."

She got a weird look on her face.

"Mom? You know that's a statue, right?"


Huh, what?

"What did you say?" I said.

"It's a statue Mom. A STATUE!"

I cleared my throat.

I laughed dismissively.

"Of course I knew that was a statue. I was only kidding!" I said and waved gaily as I drove away.

A statue?

A freakin' statue has been creeping me out for months now?


And that, my friends is why I resisted the only slightly smashed jelly donut. I suspect my judgement might be slightly impaired.

With all the fumes from the kitchen destruction repair and all.



That's it.

It's the fumes.

I'm certain of that.



Always just a tiny step away.


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Monday, January 23, 2012

Hello Dolly!

Well Hello, Dolly,
It's so nice to have you back where you belong

You're looking swell, Dolly,
We can tell, Dolly,
You're still glowin', you're still crowin'
You're still goin' strong!

Who needs toys when you have a dolly to play with at your Grandparents house?!?

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Sunday, January 22, 2012

An epilogue with a cliffhanger from a cliffhanger

Huh? Did you understand that title? If you did, you are obviously a Centusian. And, here TADA! is my cliffhanger epilogue. I thought this was a fun little exercise! There was a part one and a part two to this story as well.

“Mrs. Matlock? Why are you … … here?”

I cleared my throat. “Ummm…because I was ordered to undergo a psychiatric review.”


“Apparently the rescue team thought I was trying to commit suicide. I told them I was only hanging off that cliff hiding from my son.”

He wrote on his little pad. Scritch-scritch-scritch

“Hmmm…I see.” The smug little shrink tented his fingers together. “And… Mrs. Matlock? Don’t you feel that might have been … … extreme … trying to ... … … ‘hide’ in that fashion?”


I sighed.

“Extreme? Are you serious? Do you have teenagers, Doctor?

“Mrs. Matlock, we are here today to discuss your life…NOT my life. Can you please just answer my question?”

“Well, Doctor, if you don’t have teenaged children I really don’t think talking to you is going to help.”


“Mrs. Matlock. Sit back down! You need to finish this evaluation or…”

Ha! See! It was an epiologue WITH a cliffhanger from a cliffhanger and a conclusion. What happens next? I'm not sure. I just ran out of words!

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Saturday, January 21, 2012

Saturday Centus - a Mea Culpa AND another writing device

Jenny Matlock

Welcome to week ninety of Saturday Centus.

Please consider this picture as an official olive branch between us.

Mea culpa! Mea culpa!

Since I simply cannot bring myself to use the phrase 'my bad' as an apology, all that remains is for me to say,"I'M SORRY!!!! I'M A JERK!!! AND A LIAR!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Our nightmare of kitchen destruction happened last Friday when I wrote the instructions for week 89. And, yes, that is my excuse. I did write you could use 100 words for part two, but then I reneged and made it 50.

Mea culpa, mea culpa!

But I'm hoping this weeks challenge redeems me.

Please consider this both a formal apology AND a challenge for this week.

How about an 'epilogue' to your cliff hanger?

You know...a new writing device for the week.

Epilogues are an inherent part of any story or poem and are essential to the structure of any written form. The epilogue is an important literary tool that acts as the afterword once the last chapter is over. The purpose of an epilogue is to add a little insight to some interesting developments that happen once the major plot is over.


WORD COUNT - Since I cheated you on words last week, how about a few extra for this weeks prompt? Word count is not to exceed 150 words total.

The regular restrictions apply: PG, no splitting of the prompt, play nicely and visit the other entries, any style or genre of writing you prefer.

Please display my link button or just a hyper-link back to Saturday Centus. Be careful to link your SC URL to the Linky and not just link to your main blog.

E-mail me directly with ???'s or ask your question in a comment and I will do my best to get back to you as soon as possible.

Feel free to link up anytime between now and next Saturday!

If you still like me, that is.

To quote one of our sweet Grandlittle's, I sorry.

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Friday, January 20, 2012

The little leak that could...

...and did.

Destroy our entire kitchen, family and breakfast rooms.

I'm crabby.

Really, really crabby.

As in...give me a five pound box of chocolates and get out of my way crabby.

Over the past few days our beautiful house has become a wrecking zone.

And, no, not because I'm a hoarder...so there.

Apparently, there has been a very small leak in the kitchen drain pipe located inside the kitchen wall for a long, long time.

Apparently, water leaks that go undetected for a long, long time suddenly decide to wreak havoc.

Apparently, water leaks don't care if you're attempting to move...or if you're a little attached to having running water or appliances.


Water leaks are kinda/sorta obnoxious when you come right down to it.

So our fun this week has been watching this happen...


See what I mean? Five pounds of chocolate required!

But it's all going better now. Our oldest genius daughter came up with the idea of renting a storage 'POD' which is being delivered on Saturday and which will allow us to be able to walk through the remaining undestroyed rooms in our house without climbing over piles of ...ummm... stuff.

My genius mother came up with the idea of making our laundry room into a temporary kitchen...

Our youngest daughter is an organizational genius and she is moving and rearranging.

And me. I'm just dreaming of chocolate and finding every single crockpot recipe ever invented!


It's an adventure.

And the guy buying the house thinks it's funny. "Better you than me," he says.

He's coming over Saturday to view the destruction.

Hopefully he won't laugh at me...or I might have to beam him with a ripped up piece of once lovely hardwood floors.

We're doing good, though.

Just kinda/sorta crabby.


Please, please...don't show up for a home tour today! Unless you have chocolate! Or crockpot liners!


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