A handy dandy tip about growing older...

I was raised to be a helpful person.

 

You know?

 

So although this tip might, at first, seem a bit odd I'm only telling you to make your life easier.

 

Have you ever gone on an escalator with little kids?

 

Rememer how they are fearful of the moving stairs at first but before you know it they're trying to run back UP the DOWN escalator?

 

And you're worried that their little toes are somehow going to get stuck in the metal plates things that squish together?

 

But their little toes never get squished so you just worry about nothing after all?

 

Okay.

 

So.

 

A few days ago I went to a giant sports store.

 

With an escalator.

 

All my myself.

 

I was looking for some swim goggles for a birthday present.

 

And I had to go upstairs on the escalator to the second floor.

 

After I finally located the goggles I wanted, I got on the down escalator.

 

And something came over me.

 

Seriously.

 

Call it a moment of temporary insanity...

 

...because about five steps down I decided to turn around and run back up.

 

Now this probably doesn't seem like such a big deal, right?

 

But I am old.

 

And...ummm...quite gravity dense.

 

But I didn't stop to think of those things.

 

I turned around, quick like a bunny, and tried to head back up...

 

And let me tell you.

 

It's not as easy as an eight year old makes it look.

 

In fact, it's downright hard.

 

And...ummm...dangerous.

 

And I about totally killed myself trying to go up the down escalator.

 

Just a little bit.

 

Because.

Because I was distracted...

...and...

Because, well, I was thinking about this...

 

Our oldest Grandlittle turned 11 today.

 

I am sooo emotional about it.

 

It's silly really.

 

We've had wonderful times togther and we will have so many more.

 

It's just that.

 

Gulp.

 

She turned 11.

...and she is beautiful and sweet and loving and kind and compassionate and athletic and smart and wonderful.

 

But.

 

ELEVEN.

 

And maybe I'm distracted trying to figure out a way to slow down the hands of time...

 

Because.

 

Well.

 

Because, of this, too.

Oldest Grandlittle.   132 months.   Youngest Grandlittle.   3 1/2 months.

 

Geez.

 

Geez.

 

That's why it's so much easier to have tried running up the down elevator two days before her birthday.

 

Instead of feeling all blue today about how quickly time flies...

 

I can focus, instead, on the looks of horror AND amusement on the faces of all the people on the UP elevator.

 

YessireeBob.   When I finally looked around after my near demise, there were at least 16 eyes staring at me.

 

Gosh.

 

Yeah.

 

Blush.

 

I didn't realize there was a whole bunch of people on the other escalator when I did my extremely ungraceful and ridiculous attempt to go back UP!

 

They looked surprised all right.

 

And one of the men actually came down after me and asked me if I needed any help.

 

The worst part was he used that, "I think you're probably crazy but I was raised to be helpful fear-filled voice" reserved for talking to lunatics and other not-quite-there people.

 

The wonderful news is, this whole fiasco was quite distracting.

 

Remembering the expression on those other peoples faces and recalling how close I came to sticking not only my toes but other body parts into the metal plates things that squish together?

 

Very, very distracting.

 

I highly recommend you try this technique if you have a child or a grandchild growing up too fast.

 

Pain and shame are quite helpful in de-fusing the little grenade of memories that can be so brilliantly bitter-sweet on momentous days like this.

 

Oh.

 

...

 

...

 

And.

 

You're welcome.

 

PS.   No aging gravity-dense Grandmas were actually hurt in this process so the whole thing ended as well as can be expected!

 

PPS.   Do you know you can order swimming goggles on-line if necessary, thus avoiding the temptation to try running UP the DOWN elevator.

 

PPPS.   Sigh.