What does that mean?
Well, you know...the technology can't ummm.... OK, it means that... Oh, geez, I'm just going to illustrate what I mean with a little story.
So...
Mr. Steve drives a fairly new Infiniti. I drive an 11 year old Maxima.
We'll talk about the unfairness of this another day but...
For a few months now I haven't had my Maxima. It's been on 'loan' to someone needing transportation so I've been driving the nifty Infiniti.
Wow. It is a cool car: back-up cameras, Sirius radio, lane change alarms, those cool keys that you just push the button for, the ability to accelerate from zero to 100 in like four seconds (or so I've heard!), etc, etc, etc!
I've been stylin' the ride and riding in style...
BUT...
Sadly.
I got my car back.
I thought briefly about abandoning it at a mall somewhere so I could continue to use the cool car...
...but that would be wrong...
...and I figured lowering my stress level hauling sticky fingered grandkids around who have the occasional propensity to lick the windows (please don't tell Mr. Jenny about that part) would probably be a good thing.
So...
...on Monday, I drove my car for the first in what feels like forever.
Mr. Jenny started my car and opened the garage door as he often does when I leave to pick up our youngest Granddaughter. On pre-school babysitting days I meet our daughter-in-law at the elementary school the older Grands attend and then take the littlest one to preschool. Since I was a bit early I decided to pick up some of those little round Halloween Dunkin' Donuts for the oldest two Granddaughters lunchboxes.
Huh?
Of course, that's the only reason I would stop at Dunkin' Donuts. Please. You have such a suspicious mind.
BUT...
When I pulled into Dunkin' Donuts parking lot, I went to push the little button to turn the car off and there was no little button. I'm not kidding! I looked all around on the dashboard and couldn't find the button. I got out of the car and kind of laid down on the seat and looked for the button. No button.
I was starting to panic and verging on having a total melt-down, when a kindly man walked over and said "Miss? Do you need some help?" to which I replied, "I don't know how to turn my car off..." ... in response to which he leaned into the car, reached around the steering wheel column, turned the key, took it out and handed it to me with the weirdest look on his face.
Huh?
A key?
A KEY????!!!!!!
A FREAKIN' KEY IS HOW YOU TURN THE FREAKIN' CAR OFF?!?!?!?!
He walked away, shaking his head.
I slunk into Dunkin' Donuts feeling like an idiot.
...
...
So I got six of those little round donuts in two little bags, and a glazed and a halloween sprinkle donut.
Huh?
Geez.
You are soooo suspicious. Three little round donuts for each of the older two grands, the halloween sprinkle donut for the littlest grand and the glazed for our daughter-in-law.
And a coffee for me.
OK?
OK?????
Huh?
No I don't have the receipt to prove it to you.
Geez.
After I gathered my coffee and the little bags of donuts, I went to back out to my car with keys.
And put all the stuff on the front seat.
And went to back out of the parking place!
Accccckkkk!!!!
Arrrrgggggghhhh!!!!
Eeeekkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!!
Where were the back-up cameras?!?
Who hid the back-up screen from me?!?!?
I totally had to actually turn my head AND look in the rearview and side mirrors.
People can get hurt like that, right?
Seriously. My neck muscles are still sore from the over-exertion they endured backing out of that parking spot.
So now do you see what I mean?
You have to be smarter than the technology.
Or the lack of technology.
Or something.
And, yes, this is the most meaningful post I could summon from my boring and sheltered life.
So there.
Sigh...
You do know that the chiropractor and orthopedic lobbies tried to keep those back up cameras away from us don't you? Really? Just visit my newest blog www.conspiraciestheydon'twantyoutoknowabout.com. Really, the whole story is there. And don't get me started on key manufacturers and their secret agenda. Kat
ReplyDeleteI checked out Kat's blog then cross-referenced all of her facts over at snopes.com and guess what? All of her facts have been proven wrong. Don't go there, Jenny. It'll just put crazy ideas in your brain and that's already so full of crazy right now your head is likely to explode.
ReplyDeleteTechnology is a cruel taskmaster. It's okay to play with it just never get comfortable with it. That, my friend, is where the true conspiracy lies. Your 11-yo Maxima is perfectly fine. The Infiniti wants you to believe you need something newer. See how that works?
I just don't know how we live with these old cars! What do people expect? Well, life is so unfair sometimes!
ReplyDeleteYou had me laughing......again. You always start my day off on the right foot.
Have a wonderful day!
hugs
Well it sounds to me like you had a blonde moment (BM) in front of that strange man....or ...Hummm.... possibly a senior moment....but.... NO it looks to me that you had an all out, full blown BM! :O
ReplyDeleteJust kidding! ~Ames
I demand you get an infiniti.
ReplyDeleteProtest Jenny. Protest!!!!!
:)
I think your idea of abandonment is PERFECT!!! How can you live with this torture!!!!
ReplyDeleteI say you need to go for a massage due to all that neck strain!!!
Love you girlie!!!
Just wiping a tear of my cheek and then I will comment!
ReplyDeleteA few weeks ago I was waiting to pull out into the traffic and happened to look at the car in front of me.
There was a lot of movement of heads and waving of hands,,,then all was still...Then out the open drivers side window came a head....a pair of shoulders...the hips swiveled around and the hand grabbed the roof...at last out popped a fully grown middled aged man!
I was by now fascinated but then I became absolutely enthralled as
he was followed slightly more inelegantly by a middle aged woman...then, I am assuming, two screaming grandkids!
By this time I thought I had better go and check if everything was alright.
The door unlock mechanism on there new car had collapsed and as they all needed, quite desperately, to use the public loos this was the only egress from the car.
ENJOY YOUR MAXIMA!!!!!!!
I can so picture this happening to me that rather than laugh, I could almost feel the panic! I have to say that both of our cars still use keys, but I do lose mine in parking lots if I'm not careful. Nothing like wandering around a WalMart parking lot looking for your car!
ReplyDeleteI'm the other way round, sort of. My Dad and I are taking number one son back up to Uni on Sunday. We're going in Dad's car cus it uses less fuel and has cruise control. It's a new car & I haven't driven it before. It's smart!! I'm already thinking "Eeeeep!! What if..?"
ReplyDeleteCars, phones, computers, kids....sometimes it feels like they are all smarter than I am these days. I feel your pain, Jenny.
ReplyDeleteNow, I need to go get a donut.
My uncle is a cop in Philly. He was telling me a story of a young woman he saw standing by her car the other day, looking lost & confused. He stopped his patrol car and asked what was wrong.
ReplyDelete"I'm locked out of my car." she said.
"Where are the keys?" my uncle asked.
"Here. In my hand." She said.
She had been trying to push the unlock button on her keyring - and I guess it was broke - but she had NO IDEA that she could take the key and unlock the door.
My uncle "saved" her and she was grateful. :)
Hilarious! I really really wanted an Infiniti but had to settle and yes, my wagon has a key to turn it on and off and no back-up camera either. Sigh.....
ReplyDeleteYou do know you're not going to be able to hide those donut dimples on your butt when they sprout in a couple of days, right? Just checking.
ReplyDeleteWell I loved it Jenny! There has got to be a way to get that car back from Mr. Jenny, right???
ReplyDeleteLove Di ♥
ROFLMBO!!! I say bring on the donuts!! ;0)
ReplyDeleteOh Jenny, I feel your pain! I just bought a new vehicle and while it still uses a key instead of a button, it does have lots of extras. I enjoy the back-up camera and the Sirius radio! So, perhaps you and Mr. Jenny should swap about driving the high-tech car:) Enjoy your day! HUGS!
ReplyDeleteJenny, what is that your sayin? I'm sorry I'm still at Dunkin Doughnuts!! Sprinkles, chocolate...sorry you were saying?
ReplyDeleteI like my old Kia Sedona. I am waiting to buy a new care when they come out with one that will change its own oil, rotate the tires, and never run out of gas.
ReplyDeleteI am so with judie ... love my old toyota ... but when the new ones that can maintain themselves comeout ... then i will consider buying a newer model ... enjoy your oldie but goodie Jenny ...
ReplyDeleteHey, at least you got donut hub caps instead of the outer rims.
ReplyDelete(That's car-speak, in keeping with your infiniti-ly humorous post!)
;)
Yum! Those donuts sound delicious! For my kids, of course, never for me. :)
ReplyDeleteWhat a funny story. Every time I drive an automatic car I have a similar experience. I freak out because I can't find the clutch. How on earth are you supposed to start the car without a clutch? And when it is time to back out or shift gears I have another short panic attack.
In other words, I feel your pain completely. I was once driving my dad's truck, and got out of the car telling him I couldn't drive. The clutch was missing. He needed to take it to the shop. I felt very humbled when he jumped in, turned the key and it started. After that, he wasn't so sure he wanted to let me drive. Ha!
Life must be going well then!
ReplyDeleteOk, so I have to go off on one of those selfish rants here...the kind where I totally blow off all that you said and instead talk about me...you know the kind...We have talked about that before! So anyway, I had 6 count them 6 loaners this summer. I have a pretty nifty car but these were niftier...some I didn't even need to put the key anywhere but in my pocket and I could drive and it would lock itself when I walked away...And YES everytime I got back in my only kind of nifty car I was so confused. I have to confess I never had to ask for help, however I came close a couple of times...and those back up cameras...frankly all that beeping scares me!
ReplyDeleteSo sorry Jenny. Sometimes life can be sooo cruel! Heeehehehe!
ReplyDeleteHow were the donuts??? :o)
God bless and have yourself an extraordinary day!!!
My brother used to have an Infiniti. I got to drive it once. I was scared to death I was going to do something wrong. I much prefer my trusty, boxy, lovely Volvo wagon. (And you'll never catch me wanting a mini-van!)
ReplyDeleteYou cracked me up again. And I needed to be cracked up.
Ahhh, that is so sad. And you ddin't even eat a doughnut...ahem. I would have ordered 6 more. You should take turns...
ReplyDeleteOh, sweet Jenny, give yourself a few more days and you will be used to your car again. I hear you have to just about mortgage all you have to pay for repairs on those cars with all that technology if that technology fails so in that case you should be liking your car that uses keys.
ReplyDeleteI think you deserved a doughnut or two though after you couldn't find that button.
Hugs!
I once drove our new car into a parking space, went to shop, came back to the car and couldn't find 'reverse'. I was nearly weeping by the time I finally broke down and asked a man for help.
ReplyDeleteNot one of my finer moments!
what is sad is when I try to use my clicker from the car to open the back door...I stand there and click...click..click...then I realize I have to use a key to get in the house...silly mee..
ReplyDeleteLOLOL That is SOOO funny Jenny!! I'm literally laughing out loud. You're too cute. And I still wish you were my kids' grandma. ;) And yes...let's talk about the unfairness of your car vs Mr. Jenny's car. You need a turn-the-car-off button right?
ReplyDeletePS Just so you know I have to leave your blog page up all the time because my husband loves your music playlist! hehe ;)
ReplyDelete