Sunday, May 1, 2011

Unhappy Anniversary



I had comforted myself with brownies and cupcakes during the stressful first year of marriage. He’d been critical and insensitive for the last twelve months, but that was all behind us now.

For our anniversary dinner, I’d sausaged myself into a slimming, black dress and taken extra care with my make-up!

He looked deeply into my eyes over the fancy dinner I’d prepared, handed me an envelope and said, “Although the traditional gift for a first anniversary is paper…”

What fun! In excitement, I ripped it open!

My squeal of joy turned into a shout of rage as a gift-certificate for a year’s membership to Weight Watchers fell into my lap.

Jenny Matlock
This unhappy Anniversary story is linked to week 52 of Saturday Centus. The prompt is in bold. To read other entries, just click here.

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37 comments:

  1. Ms. AMay 1, 2011 at 6:16 PM

    Hahaha... bad move on any anniversary!

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  2. Personalized Sketches and SentimentsMay 1, 2011 at 6:21 PM

    haha!!! Oh no...he didn't! ...Hm...but then again...it was on track for the "traditonal gift" of paper :o)

    Blessings & Aloha!

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  3. SlamdunkMay 1, 2011 at 6:24 PM

    Ha, that would be a suprise--an evelope that I hope he ducked after handing it over since a strong right hook would likely follow.

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  4. JojoMay 1, 2011 at 6:30 PM

    And I assume that some Ex-Lax Brownies make the perfect "thank you" gift for such an anniversary gift.

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  5. TheresaMay 1, 2011 at 6:34 PM

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You crack me up:) HUGS!

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  6. AmesMay 1, 2011 at 6:37 PM

    That insensitive turd!I hope she gave him a gift certificate for a full body wax with a salt rub follow-up! :D~Ames

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  7. TgoetteMay 1, 2011 at 7:29 PM

    LOL! Too funny! That big dummy should have realized that what women really want is a good vacuum cleaner or cookware! Some guys can be so insensitive!

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  8. MarleneMay 1, 2011 at 7:41 PM

    LOL...oh boy, bet he was in the shits. Ha ha ha. Great story!

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  9. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.comMay 1, 2011 at 8:28 PM

    Oh no he didn't! That *bleep*'n *bleep*! Pass the brownies, please. This story's highly upsetting.
    Love ya, Jenny.
    xoRobyn

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  10. Kim LehnhoffMay 1, 2011 at 9:02 PM

    Loved this one!

    Revenge is a dish best served cold...what evil acts will come next?

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  11. Dazee DreamerMay 1, 2011 at 9:20 PM

    What a jerk. She hopefully turned around and gave him a paper from the divorce court.

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  12. JoMay 1, 2011 at 10:02 PM

    What a jerk ... i don't think he will be around for a 2nd anniversary ...

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  13. Susan AndersonMay 1, 2011 at 10:47 PM

    Sounds like this guy needs a paper gift too.

    His WALKING papers, that is.

    ;)

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  14. DeborahMay 2, 2011 at 12:44 AM

    LOL ... very good! :o)

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  15. LynnMay 2, 2011 at 3:31 AM

    I'm with Dazee and Sue, my first thought was Divorce Court:@)

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  16. DonnieMay 2, 2011 at 4:13 AM

    Dump the Bum!...lol...I read it first and thought Steve...NO.....but then saw the Saturday Centus...Phew....

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  17. noexcusesMay 2, 2011 at 4:18 AM

    As insensitive as it sounds, for some of us, the gift could be welcomed. I'd love to go, but can't justify the cost right now.

    At least he remembered the date....

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  18. jabblogMay 2, 2011 at 4:27 AM

    That is hilarious - but only to the onlooker . . . ;-)

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  19. Julie Kwiatkowski SchulerMay 2, 2011 at 5:45 AM

    What a sad sad anniversary.

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  20. Auntie sezzzzzz...May 2, 2011 at 5:46 AM

    May 2

    -chuckle-

    "Today, Justice"

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  21. PeggyRMay 2, 2011 at 6:05 AM

    Yuck what a gift!

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  22. Busy Bee SuzMay 2, 2011 at 6:44 AM

    Oh no he didn't!!!!!

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  23. JudieMay 2, 2011 at 7:45 AM

    Now what did she give him? I hope it was some thong underwear. Whenever Rod asks why I don't wear any sexy nightwear any more, I remind him that I can always buy him a sexy thong to sleep in. That shuts him up in a hurry!!!

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  24. Bossy BettyMay 2, 2011 at 8:17 AM

    OH. OH.

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  25. Nezzy (Cow Patty Surprise)May 2, 2011 at 10:47 AM

    Heehehehehe!!! That Mr. Jenny was one brave fella! :o)

    I got a bird~dog one year for my birthday. It just happen to be the same year I gave Farm Boy a huntin' gun for his! :o)

    God bless your day sweetie! :o)

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  26. WilloughbyMay 2, 2011 at 10:49 AM

    I hope she bought him a package of Extenz for their next anniversary!

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  27. 21 WitsMay 2, 2011 at 11:13 AM

    Oops! if I were her I think there might not be a second anniversary present to worry about.... ha ha ! Quite a funtastic way to go with your prompt! Jenny!

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  28. JocelynMay 2, 2011 at 11:51 AM

    NO HE DID NOT!!!!! TELL ME HE DID NOT!!!!!

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  29. LourieMay 2, 2011 at 12:23 PM

    LOL You're second commentor took the words right away from my fingers. Oh no he didn't! How long before he hit the floor?

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  30. Kelly SedingerMay 2, 2011 at 3:41 PM

    Yeesh, what a clod! (By the way, if weight gain is a concern, a pie in the face is a great way to enjoy pie without consuming so much of it as to gain weight. :)

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  31. BECKYMay 2, 2011 at 8:34 PM

    Oh Ms. Jenny! You are awesome! You truly caught me by surprise with this one! Loved it!

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  32. UnknownMay 2, 2011 at 9:21 PM

    LOL, this is the best! Stop in & read Wise Words

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  33. Moore MinutesMay 2, 2011 at 9:35 PM

    Oh my goodness! Did that REALLY happen Jenny? Pass the brownies please...

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  34. TerraMay 3, 2011 at 4:28 AM

    HILARIOUS!

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  35. NonnaMay 3, 2011 at 9:32 AM

    Excellent Jenny !

    I was expecting divorce papers instead of a membership to Weight Watchers. Some guys just don't get romancing at all !!!

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  36. cj SchlottmanMay 3, 2011 at 1:27 PM

    Jenny, Some men just need killing. This is a great argument for gun control!

    Namaste..........cj

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  37. UnknownMay 5, 2011 at 4:03 AM

    Oh, burn! I bet you he probably didn't get the happy anniversary end that he was hoping for :D

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Hi! Thanks for leaving a comment! My handy dandy e-mail assistant always notifies me when you do and I read every single one.

I try to respond to comments with a return e-mail BUT I just noticed that I've been answering a lot of them to blogs that haven't linked their e-mail address to their Google account! I haven't been ignoring your comments, but now I know you aren't getting my reply e-mails! I'm sorry!

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Thanks so much for reading my 'Tangents'! Your comments always feel like a hug!

Jenny Matlock