Man.
This is dark.
Dark and ugly.
And it was soooo fun to write.
However. I cut and cut and cut (pun intended) and I am still officially over the word count. Please consider this my IOU for 35 words. I promise I will deduct them from next weeks SC!
Prompt is in bold.
To read other, less macabre, offerings using the same prompt, just click here.
PS. Sorry in advance if you have a squeamish stomach today. Mwahahahahahahahahahaha! And sorry for the weird spacing on this. I can't seem to fix it in blogger today.
Anyway.
Ahem...
"Melt butter in a large
skillet over medium-high heat,” I sing-songed.
“Your
food tastes like swill! Why isn’t the laundry
done? What the hell is wrong with you? Crack-Crunch-Smack!”
“Wait
until the butter is sizzling hot,” I cautioned myself.
“You
are so fat and ugly! WTF is wrong with you? No-one else will ever love
you! Crack-Crunch-Smack!”
“Make sure the knife is sharp,” I reminded myself.
“You are just a stupidstupidstupiduglyfatbitch! Why aren’t my shirts ironed? This house is disgusting! Crack-Crunch-Smack!”
I turned from the lovely, bubbly fragrance on the stove.
My
kitchen was spotless.
My apron was freshly laundered and ironed.
I
heard my knife crack-crunch-smack through the bones of his femur.
“Yeah. I told you if you ever laid a hand on me
again you were going to pay!”
I
chuckled to myself and turned his corpse to begin the butchering.
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16 comments:
This is marvelous. I have a bit of the macabre in me. At first, I thought you were cutting up a chicken, then realized it was the real deal xy abuser.
Jen, I feel awful, I just fat-fingered the wonderful comment you left on my "Butter or Oil" post and deleted it. It was so special, and I erased it by mistake. Argh!
Thanks for the great comment. Too bad no one else will see it.
Ooops ... pleasure hunting???? :-O
I always knew it!!!! You're my dark twin........LOL
Love ya'
Meri
Serves him right! I am immune to dark and ugly. I watch CSI, SVU and Criminal Minds!
I feel like such a weirdo because I write dark stuff all the time. I was born on the day that Psycho was released in 1960. Perhaps that has something to do with it. I've had so much trouble finding other writers of the macabre. I found this piece good, gruesome fun.
Ah Miss Jenny, when you exercise your dark side you do it very well!
Ay yi yi, creepy at its best, lol.
and I hope you dug a deep whole in your yard to bury the pieces ! Or maybe not so deep, would be a waste for dog food !
OMG! Mrs. Hannibal--LOL!
Aw shucks. Sometimes it feels GOOD to be BAD.
This is fabulous!
Ah, sweet (though messy) revenge...
;)
HA! Yep, that is very dark! It sounds like he earned it. Good one Jenny...
Excellent (she says, wringing her hands in delight). Fabulous posting!
Yikes!
Don't mess with her!
bone-crack-crunch-smackingly scary!
You Go Girl! LOL
Barbecue always reminds me of Fried Green Tomatoes... and now your story. *shudder*. You have an evil streak, my friend.
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