I found this amazing diet.
Or so I thought.
It's called Lee's "Instantly Slims" you clothing.
I bought a lot of it.
I mean jeans and long sleeved shirts and short sleeved shirts.
And over the weekend I put on one of the outfits.
And I walked out to where Mr. Jenny was reading the newspaper and said, "Hey, do you notice something different about me" and he said, "Ummm.... no."
So I told him to look closer and he said, "Ummm.... new shirt?"
I replied, "Kinda, look again."
And he did.
But he didn't say anything.
So I said, "Don't I look thinner?"
And his eyes got really big and he looked afraid, so I asked the simple little question again, and he looked even more frightened.
"Ummm... yes?" he said.
"Ummm...yes? you think I look thinner OR Ummm... yes? you're afraid to tell me the truth?"
He tried distracting me by pointing at something in the newspaper. "Did you see that Joanne Fabrics is having a 90 percent off sale today only? You should hurry over there."
I was not distracted.
I asked him to look closer.
I noticed a sheen of sweat on his forehead as he complied with my bossy instructions.
Finally, I let the poor guy off the hook. "Look, these are new jeans and a new shirt from Lee that advertise they will instantly 'Slim You'."
He quickly tried to rally and answered, "Oh, that? I could totally tell you looked slimmer. I thought you meant...like slimmer. Like, you know? Like, you've been dieting... like ...ummm..." and then he paused. It took him a moment to continue...
"Look! Look at this! Hobby Lobby AND Michaels are having a 90 percent off sale today only! Hurry! You better hurry over there right now!"
So I let him off the hook.
And took my non-instantly slimmed body to Joanne Fabrics AND Hobby Lobby AND Michaels.
That'll teaching him for not noticing how instantly "slimmed" I was.
Sigh.
Retailers would be smart to add a new feature to these items - the partner packet. It would be similar to the extra button packet that comes with some clothing but would instead include instructions for husbands, boyfriends and others on their much needed responses when asked the very important question "how do I look?"
ReplyDeleteYou're poor guy -- he didn't know what was coming, did he? ;) I'm sure you looked very slim. Guys just aren't good at noticing those things.
ReplyDeleteThank heavens for theraputic shopping! :)
Oh Em Gee, Matlock!!!! That was the new high tech clothing version of "Does this make me look fat?"
ReplyDeleteI laughed and laughed!!
Good Morning Jenny Sweetie...
ReplyDeleteOh girl, you should have asked and I would have told you they don't work. I already tried that over the summer. Didn't do a durn thing for me either. And to think we keep falling for these stupid tricks too.
I have to tell you, I would have taken my Lee's Slims and went right on over to JoAnns when he suggested it. Now you know how to get him to suggest you go shop. Yeah. Love it sweet friend.
Hope you are doing well. I love popping over to see what you are up to. Have a gorgeous Monday. They are calling for 75. I am off to work.
Many hugs and much love, Sherry
I try not to ask, for fear of just a weird reaction such as this. I have seen these clothes too, so what do you think? Do they work? Or you just feel slimmer, because they fit nicely?
ReplyDeleteAh, I'm a sucker for those kinda things too. Darn those people and their persuasive advertisements! Well, at least you got to shop at Joanne Fabrics, Hobby Lobby and Michaels :)
ReplyDeleteJenny, you are a genius! You've discovered the key to opening Mr. Jenny's wallet! Now remember this next year when you are going over the Christmas budget. We'll see who gets the last laugh here. Kat
ReplyDeleteOf course they worked....men are blind. I'm sure the ladies at Joanne Fabrics said "doesn't that Jenny look slim today". They probably said the same at Hobby Lobby.
ReplyDeleteHee hee hee...your comments are almost as silly as your post.
ReplyDeleteNow here's the God's honest truth my dear, sweet friend: You look marvelous, slimmer or not, for you are a beautiful soul, inside and out!
There!
Oh, poor Mr. Jenny. He will never ever win will he???
ReplyDeletexoxox
I saw those advertised on TV and wondered if they worked! Guess not, huh:) Hope Mr. Jenny will learn from this lesson! HUGS!
ReplyDeleteHey I recognize that big eyed look...both Virgil and Stephen get it when I asked specific questions about how I look!! LOL
ReplyDeleteYeh truth in advertising. Not! All those type of pants ever did for me was give me a third tire above the belt line. ~Ames
ReplyDeleteWell, he was a sweetie, trying to distract you! I have spent money on the same things. They slimmed by wallet for sure!
ReplyDeleteDarn it Mr Jenny! I was hoping that worked as I was on my way to buy new pants and a shirt. Guess I will just head to Michael's instead and spend some money on Christmas decor that will distract from my waistline instead!
ReplyDeletePoor guy. And poor you for getting the defective Lee's, since they're instant... supposedly.
ReplyDeleteI love that look husbands of BFs get in their eyes when you ask a simple question like "Does this make my butt look big?"
ReplyDeleteoh man, you asked "the question" ... thanks goodness hubby eventually came out with the "go shop" answer ... that usually works ... me, i never ask, because i remember these mean lines from a tv show and i am afraid i will get the same answer ...
ReplyDelete"does this make me look fat?"
"No, the fact that you are fat makes you look fat, that shirt just makes you look purple."
Haha! Love Jojo's comment about the "partner packet!"
ReplyDeleteIf they weren't so darn comfortable, I'd suggest we start a campaing against the company! I mean, if I had a pair...
Just buy big overalls like I do. You'll be swimming in them, and definitely feel smaller. And no crunching you up at the waist.
ReplyDeleteAt least your husband stayed in the room. Mine runs the other way when asked such questions!
ReplyDelete;)
Oh...this could so easily be my house. I tried the "Not Your Daughter's Jeans" and they were as advertised. Not as cute as my daughter's, didn't fit as well as my daughter's and made me look fatter. Luckily, I didn't get out of the store with them!
ReplyDeleteAfter 37 years, The Great Dane uses a preemptive strike every time. As soon as I walk into the room he says 'You look nice' no matter what. Of course, this leads to a whole other can of worms!
ReplyDeleteI think the only instantly slimming clothes would be the ones you put on right after the lypo suction procedure. That would be instantly slimming.
ReplyDeleteYour poor hubs! But good for you for taking advantage of him...I mean those 90% off sales. Hee
Men! They can't help it! ha
ReplyDeleteMen! They can't help it! ha
ReplyDeleteI got sucked into this deal too...,my least favorite pair of jeans. I feel like they hold me in for a second and then the sag and fall off. I like Mr. Jenny's distraction technique though.
ReplyDeleteSo funny and to think I almost bought a pair!
ReplyDeleteVery similar to what happens in my house ! lol !
ReplyDeleteYeah, well I bought some shorts like that last summer, and they worked so well that I actually thought I could lose even more weight if I tried a little. I did, and now those shorts are too big. Just in time for winter and all the parties. Next spring, when I put them on, I will look thinner again!!
ReplyDeleteOh how I wish I had known about those sales! And thanks for letting me in on the secret about the clothes. I will not be buying them now. And I was this close!
ReplyDelete