Nada. Nyet. Nope.
So I asked Mr. Jenny for a few ideas.
His ideas were dumb.
He wanted me to write about things like Nigeria or neurons.
"What kind of "N" words are those?" I asked him. "I need clever "N" words. I need FUN "N" words!"
He muttered.
I said, "You know! Words like NO-L! Noel! Get it!?! See how fun the word NO-L is? Do you know any words like that?"
"No," he said.
"Fat lot of help you are. I thought you loved me. I thought we took Alphabe-Thursday assistance wedding vows. Fine! I'll just figure it out myself..."
So I tried.
I started with the letter A, obviously.
"No-A, No-B, No-C, No-D, No-E..."
Mr. Jenny interrupted me. "What are you doing? That is annoying."
"I'm trying to find a fun "N" word since you won't help!" I continued, "No-F, No-G, No-H, No-I, No-J..."
He whined. "Stop it. That is really annoying and it is like 4 am."
"4:37 am," I replied snottily, "And since you won't help me, I'll have to figure it out myself...No-K, No-L! NOEL! See! See! Noel is a fun word! I need a word like that! No-M, No-N, No-O, No-P..."
"Seriously, do you have to do that? It's like 4:30 am?"
"4:41," I told him. You'd think he could look at the clock himself. "Yes, yes I do have to do this. My blog readers expect a certain intellectual sophistication from my posts and..."
He rudely made a snorting noise. I ignored him.
"No-Q, No-R, No-S, No-T, No-U, No-V, No-W, No-X, No-Y, No-Z...sigh...Did you hear that? There are no other fun "N" words like the word NOEL! Now what am I going to write about? Seriously, wake up! I need an "N" word."
"How about nutcase?" he said sarcastically.
"Nutcase? That won't work...that...Oh. You're making fun of me, aren't you?"
He didn't reply.
...
I think we're fighting.
So now my marriage is on the rocks AND I still don't have a fun "N" word like NOEL to write about.
I'm sorry I let you down.
I'm sorry this post wasn't the usual intellectual sophisticated caliber you have come to expect on Jenny Matlock, Off on my Tangent.
It's Mr. Jenny's fault.
You'll have to blame him.
And when you let him know you're annoyed at him, could you please tell him that I'm mad, too.
I'm still not talking to him.
Sigh.
hahahahaha this is so funny and a lot like my husband and I... i love it now i feel semi normal =)
ReplyDeleteI don't blame you for giving Mr. Jenny the silent treatment.
ReplyDeleteNope. Not no way. Not nohow.
;)
Sometimes the words just don't come. But that NOT unusual. NEVER give up. Just walk away and come back later.
ReplyDeleteBe happy you didn't write about Noel, because that means Christmas in French and you would be a little late with that ! Keep it for the next round and watch out that it is Noël time !
ReplyDeleteBTW somebody wrote about "nincompoop" I had never heard this word, but it is in my dictionary, maybe that's what Mr. J wanted to come up with ?
You're not the only one who had this problem. I got lucky and had an idea!
ReplyDeleteStill a good post, though.
Oh I really like No L!
ReplyDeleteHaha. It may have been "nothing", but as "nothing" goes, that was pretty good!!!!
ReplyDeleteMaggy
So much fun! Nothing is a nifty N word!
ReplyDeleteTeresa
Oh wow!! So funny!!
ReplyDelete"N" is nannernannernanner! I have an N word and YOU don't!!! Nanner, nanner,nanner!
ReplyDeleteWell, I had Nothin for the N too :) AND...I rather like the last N word you had but didn't pick up on...No-Z
ReplyDeleteNosy! Mwahahaaaa
Lol!@ no l
ReplyDeletehaha!!!! Despite your claim to No other fuN "No-..." word...No-L worked its way iN there quite Nicely.
ReplyDelete(haha....I love your coNvos with your hubby...especially in the wee hours of the Night!)
Love Ya, I tell Ya!
Blessings & Aloha!
Hilarious!!!!
ReplyDeleteI used to make my Christmas cards every year and I would alternate betwixt funny and sober subject matter. One of my best was a cover that read_
NOE
And the inside said, "You know, No L....."