I apologize that I cannot share my planned 4th of July programming today with you...

...but...

It's Mr. Jenny's fault.

Really.

So...

On Sunday I found out that somebody stole all my CD's. Well, except for all the Christmas ones and the strange ones that Mr. Jenny had before I married him. And, no, there is no possibility whatsoever that I just misplaced the plastic storage bin I originally put them in. Geez. As if!

The only CD I could find was a Time Life compilation entitled 'Songs of the Seventies'.

The reason I even needed the CD was because I wanted to swim laps (vague translation: float around on my back) in the pool! Seventies music is good swimming music, right?

Ummm... maybe...

Because I found it really hard to swim laps while laughing hysterically at the song choices that came on...Afternoon Delight, My Baby Loves Lovin', and Chevy Van being a few of the prime-time music hits I enjoyed while flailing about trying to not actually get my head wet while swimming free style.

But...

Then...

Something amazing happened.

Billie Don't be Hero began playing. I actually have it loaded here on my blog for the 4th of July. If you don't have your sound playing you're gonna want to turn it on now, because it's a wicked cool song. I'm sorry if you read this after the fifth of July, though, because it's only playing here for the 4th and 5th of July...So...

Yeah. I got really excited.

I listened to the lyrics carefully, and eealized I had a perfect idea to share with you!

I called Mr. Jenny out to the pool. I restarted that track on the CD. He made a wincing face. "Where did you find that horrible music?" he asked.

I told him the whole stolen CD thing, and then told him my idea!

"Quick! Get your swimsuit on! We are going to make a water ballet ACTING OUT THAT SONG FOR THE FOURTH OF JULY FOR MY BLOG READERS!"


He looked scared.

"C'mon," I assured him, "It'll be fun! Just listen to those lyrics!"

The marchin' band came down along Main Street
The soldier-blues fell in behind
I looked across and there I saw Billy
Waiting to go and join the line
And with her head upon his shoulder
His young and lovely fiancee
From where I stood, I saw she was cryin'
And through her tears I heard her say

"Billy, don't be a hero, don't be a fool with your life"
"Billy, don't be a hero, come back and make me your wife"
And as he started to go she said "Billy, keep your head lo-o-ow"
"Billy, don't be a hero, come back to me"

"See?!? See! I'm teling ya! This would be so cool! Go get your swimsuit on!"

He did not look convinced.

I sang the rest of the lyrics to him...

Very loudly...

He's a bit hard of hearing, you know!

The soldier-blues were trapped on a hillside
The battle raging all around
The sergeant cried "We've got to hang on, boys"
"We got to hold this piece a'ground"
"I need a volunteer to ride up"
"And bring us back some extra men"
And Billy's hand was up in a moment
Forgettin' all the words she said

She said
"Billy, don't be a hero, don't be a fool with your life"
"Billy, don't be a hero, come back and make me your wife"
And as he started to go she said "Billy, keep your head lo-o-ow"
"Billy, don't be a hero, come back to me"

I heard his fiancee got a letter
That told how Billy died that day
The letter said that he was a hero
She should be proud he died that way
I heard she threw that letter away

"It'll be brilliant! We can march into the pool, I can plead with you dramatically, you can go off to war and then..."

He interrupted me. "Well, you know if we do this, YOU have to be in the movie wearing YOUR swimsuit, right? You know that, right?"

"Huh?"

He repeated himself, "Sure, I'll go get my swimsuit on and make a little movie with you,BUT YOU HAVE TO BE IN IT, TOO, WEARING YOUR OWN SWIMSUIT!!!"

What the heck?

Geez.

I never thought of that.

"Maybe I can just film you being all dramatic," I suggested.

"Nope. No way. This water ballet needs two people...me as the soldier...you as the fiance."

Hmmm...

Wear my swimsuit?

In public?

In front of anyone that is not blind?

Yeah.

I don't think so.

But, hey, hope your 4th of July was great even without my water ballet idea.


Sigh...