This morning I had to go to Dunkin' Donuts.
Yes, I said 'HAD'!
It was important.
Because I needed to get boxes.
Oh, quit rolling your eyes.
I did. Have to get boxes. To pack for moving and all.
AND...
I didn't even get a donut or a bagel or go anywhere near the store or the drive through line...
Although I will admit there was a slightly smashed jelly donut on the concrete by the box bin that looked almost as good as new ... and...
Oh, close your mouth.
I didn't.
And I didn't even want to.
Just seeing if you're paying attention.
Okay...
But...that's not what I wanted to write about.
I wanted to tell you that BEFORE I went to DD to get the boxes, I dropped a daughter off downtown for work. She was going to ride her bike and it was cold and since I had to go to Dunkin' Donuts to get the boxes I told her I'd give her a ride.
It was dark when I dropped her. It's always dark and there's always this creepy looking guy in the corner by the recessed door waiting to go in. I'm always freaked out by the way he stands right by the door...watching...waiting...
He was there again this morning.
My daughter hopped out of the car and started to walk away.
I called her back.
"Look, just sit in the car here until they open, and then I'll leave."
She looked surprised. "Why would you want to do that? It's fine, it's only six minutes."
I insisted. "Look, sweetie, I'll just wait here with you."
"Mom? It's fine. Really. What are you doing?"
I glanced fearfully at the creepy looking guy by the door. "I dunno, I just have a bad feeling about that guy. He really, really creeps me out."
She got a weird look on her face.
"Mom? You know that's a statue, right?"
Huh?
Huh, what?
"What did you say?" I said.
"It's a statue Mom. A STATUE!"
I cleared my throat.
I laughed dismissively.
"Of course I knew that was a statue. I was only kidding!" I said and waved gaily as I drove away.
A statue?
A freakin' statue has been creeping me out for months now?
Seriously?
And that, my friends is why I resisted the only slightly smashed jelly donut. I suspect my judgement might be slightly impaired.
With all the fumes from the kitchen destruction repair and all.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's it.
It's the fumes.
I'm certain of that.
Sigh.
Insanity.
Always just a tiny step away.
Sigh...
I would have felt like I deserved a couple of donuts after that....yes, I would have been on my way back to Dunkin Donuts.
ReplyDeleteWe never do get over being moms, do we?
This is hilarious!
ReplyDeleteMy boys are always calling me "overprotective" or "helicopter parent". And it sounds like you're telling me that never goes away!
OMG. Sounds like just what I would have imagined LOL.. At least you can stop worrying about the guy now, heh..
ReplyDeleteHa ha! Maybe you need glasses? Ever heard of the 10 second rule? Hee hee~Ames
ReplyDeleteI'd have had a carrot cake muffin or donut because carrots are good for the eyes.
ReplyDeleteOMG that is too damn funny!!!
ReplyDeletethat damn lurking perverted statue.
May I suggest that the liquor store has great boxes. And sometimes they will fill them for you take home- you empty them and fill them again with your stuff. It makes packing so much more bearable!!
OMGosh Jenny...that takes the cake, errrr....donuts for sure ! I want to see a far off, from the car photo of that statue and then one close up...hilarious...did your daughter believe you ? If so, great recovery my friend!!!
ReplyDeleteJenny I can always count on you to make my day better! This was such a hoot so something I would do. A statue...well of course you knew that but he might still grab her right? Er, back to the boxes....
ReplyDeleteAny chance for a photo of that statue? That was hilarious! :)
ReplyDeleteLOL...you can never be too careful, eh?
ReplyDeleteThis totally sounds like something I would do!
A statue! I love it! Hey, it was dark. Understandable. :)
ReplyDeleteYou should really go back and see if that doughnut is still there. I feel bad for it :)
ReplyDeleteIs your life just way more amusing than most people's or do you just have the funniest point of view ever?
ReplyDeleteProbably both.
=D
This reminds me of the Little House on The Prairie series where pa thinks there is a bear in his path and stays hidden all night. It ended up being a tree trunk. This is prompting me to finally go and get some new glasses!
ReplyDeleteDana
OMG that is hilarious, I can't believe it was a statue! That is, um...Thanks for that
ReplyDeletehahahahaha...really?! hahahahaha... sorry, I just can't stop laughing...with you, of course....never at you!
ReplyDeleteLMAO, sooo funny! But seriously, they could place the statue a little better... I'm sure you're not the only one that made that mistake. I'm one step from crazy myself so I probably would have made the same mistake & argued it with her that I was right & she was wrong... LOL!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for a good laugh! I really needed that today! :)
ReplyDeleteOh God, Jenny! I would have laughed so hard at you... It's unfortunately true.
ReplyDeleteomg, still the over protective mom!!! It's hard to stop isnt it? but to think that you were creeped out by a statue, that is just too funny! and please, only eat donuts that you buy at the counter ... no squishy roadkill donuts for you ... okay?
ReplyDeletebut my question is, who would put a statue lurking into a doorway. Yeah, answer that one.
ReplyDeleteAlso, kudo's to you for not going in and getting a donut. I would have gotten 2 just because you deserved them
You are a magnet, Jenny....for hilarious happenings to post!
ReplyDeleteBe thankful insanity is still a tiny step away... it found me years ago and attacked with a vengeance!
ReplyDeleteI'm still laughing out loud! Next time my daughters say I'm overprotective, I'm going to tell them I'm nothing compared to Jenny! ~ Maureen
ReplyDeleteYa gotta watch those fumes! Heeehehehhe!!!
ReplyDeleteGirl, your too funny!
Have a blessed day fillin' those boxes. :o)
Oh lordy! That is hilarious! But then it was my hubby that was absolutely certain a tree stump was a bear!! Insanity...yup....right there at the surface, lol......Hope everything is going well with the packing and glad you have time to write and make my day!
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure a mom can be too overprotective in this day and age, but you do make a good argument for it. :-)
ReplyDeleteyou should have put a warning label on your post. like "warning do not eat popcorn while reading this post. it is extreamly funny." tears are running down my face and im choking on popcorn! you are a good mom to wait for your daughter and care for her safety :)
ReplyDeleteblessings,
aimee
So funny. That reminds me of the time I woke up and my furry black cat was lying on my husband's head, but I didn't know it was the cat. I thought, "Oh my gosh, what happened to his hair? It's gone wild!"
ReplyDeleteAs an expert mover, I can tell you liquor stores have the bestest, mostest boxes. Take your bag on donuts and wheel on over. They probably don't have any scary statues, either!
ReplyDeleteOh Jenny, I want that donut:) I am trying to lose a few pounds and I DO believe that I may have picked it up! We are protective aren't we? I am the same way with mine! Can't be too careful, those statues can fall! Have a blessed day dear friend, HUGS!
ReplyDeleteI am laughing so hard and so loud that the dogs think I've lost my mind! I often think power poles are creepy people as well.
ReplyDeletexo
Why on earth would they erect a 'creepy man' statue right by the door? Obviously that makes it all their fault!
ReplyDeleteI would have been totally freaked out by that statue thinking it was real. I believe I may have experienced something like that in my past, if I dig deep enough. But I am not going to.
ReplyDelete~Linnea
So you think we don't understand?? A while back, I was pulling out of the driveway and I saw a lawn statue of a heron in my front yard. I thought Rod had bought it to surprise me, which would be totally alien for him, but I was late for an appointment. When I got home, I discovered that my "statue" was a volunteer rabbit-ear cactus that had sprung up without my realizing it. I felt so...so...oh, whatever!!
ReplyDeleteI probably would have reacted the same way.
ReplyDeletefumes...yep, that's it!
ReplyDeleteBut seriously, I wouldn't care if that creepy guy IS a statue, I wouldn't leave my daughter alone with him either!
So there!
HIGH-larious!!!
ReplyDeleteHilarious!!!!!!!!
ReplyDelete