Thursday, July 11, 2013

Truth or what?

I'm continuing my little travel story here because I really, truly don't have much of a life.
We left the VLA and skedaddled as quickly as we could toward Truth or Consequences.

The sky was black.
The winds were crazy.
We pulled into our hotel a little before 8 pm.
We threw our bags in the room.
"Hurry up!" said Mr. Jenny.
I did.
But I was reluctant.
"Are you sure this is a good idea?" I asked for the 428th time.
"It'll be great! Get your swimsuit on!"
We walked across the flagstone patio into a little office area.
"We are here for our 8 o'clock appointment," Mr. Jenny told the receptionist.
She had us each sign a medical release and fill a glass of water from a water cooler.
And then she opened the door to hell.


It was a hot room in a hotel with geothermal mineral baths.


Did I mention it was HOT!?!

I mean, seriously, screaming hot.

"Are you sure this is a good idea for a menopausal woman?" I queried again in total fear.

Mr. Jenny reassured me again.

He climbed into the big pool that was almost simmering.

The room was so hot I thought I would die.

"Didn't we COME here to ESCAPE the 115 degrees at home!"

I gasped, dipping one toe into the 106 degree water.

 The entire room was hotter than any sauna I've been in.
The tub filled one corner of the steamy room. A sauna filled another corner.
Delaying the process of immersing myself in steaming geothermal mineral water, I opened the sauna door.
It was even hotter.
I was sweating so profusely I could barely see.
Mr. Jenny made happy noises in the pool.
He stuck his head under the hot water waterfall.
I put my whole foot in.
"Seriously!?! Is this good for a woman in menopause?!"
Mr. Jenny was in bliss and didn't even answer me.
Our appointment in the 'wet room' was for sixty minutes.
After about 3 minutes of that time I had elapsed I started whining.
"I'm hot. It's too hot in here. I'm thirsty. OMG! This is ridiculous!"
I lasted about ten minutes more because my husband was enjoying the hot water so much.
Apparently it soothed his muscles and totally relaxed him.
It just made me have one long, continuous hot flash.
Perhaps this was payback for the overnight stay in the caboose.
Whatever it was, I was so hot I could hardly stand it.
When we got back to our room and explored it a bit, we found that the tub was also geothermal.
Interpret that as ridiculously hot.
I was relieved to see an air conditioner in our room.
Hooray!   Hooray!
I was not relieved to find out the air conditioner didn't work super well.
Boo.  Hoo.
After gasping and swearing for awhile, Mr. Jenny must have thought it was safe to talk to me.  
"Just think!"  Mr. Jenny said, "You can take another mineral bath in the morning!"
"Oh. Yeah. Hooray!" I said in a non-celebratory voice.
"Think of it as an experience," said Mr. Jenny.
"Oh. Yeah. Ummm. Hooray! An experience!"
The whole thought of another 106 degree bath made me break out in one gigantic, worrisome hot flash.
I was relieved to think we would be spending the following night far away from the geothermal springs torture.
I was relieved until Mr. Jenny said, "I think I read that the place we're staying in tomorrow night was a home for psychotic boys."
"Psychotic boys! Who cares! Do they have better air conditioning there?"
Mr. Jenny assured me they did and I fell into a geo-thermalled, mineral-bathed restless sleep.
I could hardly wait to escape Truth or Consequences New Mexico.

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Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

You are a better sport than me.
I HATE being hot. While I don't have hot flashes (bio-identical hormones solved that) I did at one time and I couldn't have done what you did for even 10 minutes.

I hope you get something relaxing on this trip like a massage in an air conditioned room by Ramone who happens to look like Clooney. :-)

Linda @ A La Carte said...

Oh Jenny that is not for me either! Last year when Ashleigh took me to the spa she got in the super hot and the steam room and the sauna. I walked into the sauna and out again and the steam room, nope could not breathe in there. I'm more of a tepid water feels good kind of gal! Good luck with the rest of the trip! Can't wait for more stories!


Jim said...

Oh, Jenny, you poor baby!!! ;)
That sounds like our honeymoon hotel in Hot Springs, Arkansas.

We don't have air conditioning where we are staying right now either.

Have a nice rest of the holiday. I do hope everyone else does have WORKING airconditioning for you.
I forgot, I have one question. Was the water piped to the toilet hot also? A lot are.

Rocky Mountain Woman said...

Yikes! I'm impressed you lasted 10 minutes...

Melinda said...

You two have the most interesting

This post made my 50 year old body
sweat also.

Can't wait for the next installment!


Ms. A said...

I wouldn't have lasted 10 minutes! I hate being hot and I hate to sweat, period.

Personalized Sketches and Sentiments said...

haha!!! It is so good to catch up here...Toooooo funny! Boy, I have surely missed a lot, especially your wonderful sense of humor!

I actually love the heat, and when I am comfortable, everyone else in the family is sweating! ...but even that sounded like a bit much!

Blessings & Aloha!

Amy said...

Not having had a bath tub for more than two years, I am incredibly jealous... except for the jot part. That sounds awful, sort of.
Who would name a town Truth or Consequences?! That sounds like something out of an Amish horror movie. The home for psychotic boys has me intrigued now. :)

Rita said...

OMG! I was sweating just reading this! No! Not good for menopausal women--LOL!

D. Jean Quarles said...

Too funny. I'm very familiar with geothermal springs. You didn't mention the smell.

pasqueflower said...

Clearly Mr. Jenny has never experienced a hot flash!!

Janie Junebug said...

I'm afraid of saunas. I saw too many TV shows when I was growing up in which someone would get locked in a sauna with the heat turned as high as it would go.


Kathy Felsted Usher said...

Nope, I couldn't go there either. Too hot and my hair would frizz!

Susan Anderson said...

That would have quite literally done me in.
As in, killed me dead.


Debra at HOMESPUN: said...


I broke out in a sweat just reading it

Busy Bee Suz said...

Oh my gosh. I like a hot bath, but that is TOO hot!!!
On the upside, it is pretty cool looking.

EG CameraGirl said...

Sounds way to hot for me! What a good sport you were to last 10 minutes!

Splendid Little Stars said...

Oh no! But didn't the 106 degree water feel cool after being in 115 degree air?!

Pat Tillett said...

That is so funny! It's not funny that it happened, but your storytelling is hilarious.

I'm totally with you! I hate saunas, I hate steam baths, and I double HATE hot tubs. We have a nice hot tub and my wife doesn't understand that I want it to be the same temp as the pool. Now that I think about it, my wife is in the middle of what seems to be a two year long hot flash. I wonder why hot water doesn't bother her? I'm afraid to ask her...

Brenda said...

Oh my goodness, that sounds hot. I am reading backwards so I do not know who planned this vacation. I hope there is something in it that you get to enjoy!

Amy said...

I'm loving reading about your adventure! I've always wanted to do one of those mineral baths. They have them in Hot Springs, AR. I'm still going to try it sometime...but I'll go before Menopause strikes me!! :)