Wednesday, January 28, 2015

One with nature...




A constant companion of each moment of my days of late.

 Next week my doctors will possibly put a final name to it and hopefully find some relief for me.

 In the meantime...


I lie in bed and look at the beautiful tall ponderosa pine trees out of my window...

 It is possible that as I look I am moaning and groaning…

And perhaps it is possible I am moaning and groaning a little too much...

Because on Sunday, Mr. Jenny said, "Okay, that's it.   We're going for a drive."

 I refused.

 He insisted.

 I stuck out my lower lip.

 He insisted.

 I gave up and got dressed.

 He gloated.

 We now live in the mountains of Arizona in one of the largest Ponderosa pine stands in North America...

 Or at least that's what it says on all the Chamber of Commerce stuff.

 We drove a short distance and Mr. Jenny turned the truck onto one of the many dirt roads criss-crossing our geography.

 I felt tense and uncomfortable.

 I looked out the window.

 Mr. Jenny opened the sun roof.

 Afternoon shadows drifted across my lap.

 The scent of pines was mesmerizing.

 Mr. Jenny pulled over into a clearing and said, "Let's go for a little walk."

 I refused.

 He insisted.

 I stuck out my lower lip.

 He insisted.

 I gave up and got out of the truck.

 He gloated.

 We walked slowly.

 I felt timid.   I am afraid of anything making me hurt more.  That might sound silly but it’s true.  I dislike feeling timid and afraid.  I dislike pain I have no control over.

 Up ahead on the path I glimpsed a huge Ponderosa pine.

 Its trunk was lighter red than its neighbors.

 Its trunk was broader and stronger looking.

 I hobbled to it.

 The bark was scarred from bullets and hatchets.

 Looking up, I saw diamond-like droplets of sap decorating the rough bark.

 It felt like a powerful tree.

Don’t roll your eyes.  

It did.  

It felt like a warrior tree. 

A survivor tree.

Powerful and sturdy.

I put my arms around it as best I could and embraced the solidness.

 I put my cheek against the bark and closed my eyes.

 Mr. Jenny was very quiet.

 In a serious voice he said, "Why don't I help you down to the ground and you can just sit here for a while?"

 He did.

 And I did.

I tipped my head back and looked again at the diamond-like sparkle of the sap high above in the tree top.

"What makes a tree have sap?  Why is that there?" I asked Mr. Jenny.

"It's protection," he explained, "The tree does that to protect itself."

After his brief explanation, I just closed my eyes and leaned into the massive trunk.

 Mr. Jenny left me sitting while he returned to get the truck.

 The sun was on my face.

 I cried.

 And when I finally stopped crying I felt the strength of the tree.

 I kid you not.

 It was profound.

 It was religious.

I don't know how long I sat and how long Mr. Jenny waited patiently.

The slant of the sun was lower when I opened my eyes.

Mr. Jenny informed me sweetly it was time to go.

He held out his hand to help me up.

I closed my eyes and prepared to stand.

 And I couldn't.

 I could.





 My head was stuck to the tree.

 My hair was tangled up in the sap.



 Mr. Jenny and I tangled our fingers trying to get my short hair loose from the tree. 

It took a while.

The tree held fast.

But after much hair pulling I was finally free.

 Mr. Jenny and I kept looking at each other.

It was weird, you know?

There was no sap on the tree where I sat.

Really, really weird.

On Monday I went to my Reiki lady.   Her name is Jennifer and I’ve been seeing her a lot.

I told her the story of the tree.

She felt in my hair for the dried sap.

She thought for a moment and said, “You know how to take that sap out, don’t you?”

I told her I did.  

But that I wasn’t going to.

I was going to leave it as a reminder that there are greater things then pain.

I was going to leave it as a reminder that I honestly think the tree was trying to heal me.

When I left my Reiki session, Jennifer said, “Can I hug you?”

She did.

Then she ran her hand up through the hair on the back of my head.

“Sap.   Tree sap,” she said quietly.   “I am grateful you told me.”

As I write this now I feel the tangle of sap on the back of my head.



It makes me feel stronger.

It makes me feel like I can get through this pain.

And that I will get through this pain.

And it makes me remember that strength comes from unusual sources…

…if we are only open enough to sit in the warm sun and embrace the philosophy.



Am one with a giant Ponderosa pine tree.



Blessed and grateful?

For certain.

post signature


EG CameraGirl said...

Mr Jenny is a HERO! You are truly blessed, Jenny. He's a KEEPER! (Isn't that a great K-word?)

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

Damn Jenny, I felt this!

I am not happy you are in pain, but I am so damn happy the tree tried to heal you and you had this wonderful experience. ((hugs))

Ms. A said...

Not sure I want to try sap for healing, but the outdoors was probably very good for you. For me, I think the Magnesium, B-Complex, Zinc and Bioplasma have helped tremendously.

Janie Junebug said...

I didn't roll my eyes. Not weird. That tree wanted to be at one with you and help you.


Bookie said...

This was a moving post. I know that kind of pain you felt. I so hope they have an answer for you soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Alone again.... naturally!" said...

I cried for you and am grateful for the tree. Cathy

The Furry Gnome said...

So sorry you're having such pain, but so glad you told us about the tree. A reminder of how much we are truly one with nature if we open ourselves to it.

Betty said...

Oh Jenny...I'm so sorry you are in so much pain. I hope you'll have an answer soon. I'm glad that you and that tree formed a special relationship and it gave you strength. My prayers are with you. (I would have no idea how to get sap out of my hair.) Betty

Linda @ A La Carte said...

Jenny, nature is a powerful thing. I have felt healing from sitting at the beach and letting the rhythm of the ocean roll over me and help me be stronger. Sending you hugs and praying for more healing!


Terra said...

Mr. Jenny is a wise man with a bit of the shaman in him, it seems. I like how you and the tree embraced and it gave you strength. Great encounter.

Susan Anderson said...

This makes so much sense to me. I have been healed by nature more times than I can say. And especially by trees.

So happy you had this experience and that you found some strength in it.

Sending prayers, Jenny. Hugs and prayers.


Cathy Kennedy said...

God's beautiful world reminds us that we are small and God is great. He is able when we're unable. Through these blessings around us, our spirit is lifted when we need it most. You're in my thoughts & prayers, always Miss Jenny! Hugs!!

Julie Kwiatkowski Schuler said...

I think it's a wonderful story. Trees are something special. I feel awfully sad to know you are in pain. I hope you will soon find the answers you need.

I was thinking of that box of lemons you sent me. How they smelled so good! And the next morning I heard Justin calling from his bedroom "Make me some lemonade...... PLEASE!"

Rocky Mountain Woman said...

I just loved this sweetie! Keep on keeping on...

Pat Tillett said...

Hi Jenny! What a profound piece of writing this is. Talk about getting back in touch with what really matters. In touch with the strength of nature. I believe and feel this stuff. I hope you start feeling stronger and better soon!

Flat Creek Farm said...

Hi Jenny! Popping in to send some love and see how you are doing. I totally believe in this(!!!), and I also need to touch and bond with nature more than I have been of late. Maybe that's what my biggest problem is.. health wise. So, thank you for reminding me about the power of nature's healing. Sending lots of healing thoughts and prayers your way. -Tammy

Splendid Little Stars said...

not weird at all!
wonderful and awesome!
Mr. Jenny is a keeper of the first degree!

(Guess what word verification I got! earth!)