Thursday, January 6, 2011

5 M's and an "Awwwwww" (followed by a huh?)

Here's the 5 "M's"

Marvelous Miss Mo's Merciless Mishap

...

And here's the "Awwwwwwwww..."



Our sweet GrandGirl, Mo, had a little accident at the playground resulting in a broken elbow.

When I asked her why she chose a sparkly red cast instead of a pink one (her usual favorite color choice) she replied, "Oh Gwamma! Sparkly red is the color of blood. You know I'm a vampire!"

Ummm...

OK.

...allright-y then.

And that is the "huh?" part of this funny little posted linked to Alphabe-Thursday's Letter M. For other meanderings through this magnificent letter, just click here!

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Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Alphabe-Thursday's Letter M


Good morning class. I hope you had a great winter break! It's time to settle down, though, and get back to our studies.

Today we will be focusing on the letter



Please link directly to your Alphabe-Thursday URL (if you don't know how to do this let me know!) and please continue to visit the five links before and after your link and leave a comment. Minimum of 10 links visited please. You can visit more if you like, of course.

I also want to let you know that each week I visit every blog. If it appears I haven't visited your blog by Wednesday morning, please let me know, because it is important to me to make sure you know I've visited you! This will avoid you trying to skip out on doing your assignment as well.

If you have any difficulties with your link, please make sure to include the number of the link when you e-mail me. It is really difficult for me to find you easily otherwise.

If you have any questions about Alphabe-Thursday or problems doing your link just post it in a comment or send me an e-mail. I'll do my best to help you as quickly as I can.

The McLinkey will be live from 1:00 pm MST time Wednesday afternoon in an effort to assist our lovely "friends across the pond" and continue through 10:00 am MST time Friday morning!

And remember.... link back to this post, you need to be registered as a follower of my blog, PG posts only, and try to visit the 5 students before and after your post at minimum. The links will stay live after the final post deadline has passed so you can even wait and visit over the weekend or whenever you have more time.

Please feel free to link your magnificent "M" post now. Class is dismissed. See you all next year!

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Cupcakes are soooooo 2010...

Apparently.

There was one of those news feed things on my computer that told me so.

The new thing, the current thing, the more popular thing is...

...

Cake balls.

And cake balls on a stick.

...

Really.

I just don't see the allure.

Smooshing cake up into a ball with fattening stuff and then dipping them in chocolate and/or frosting.



OK.

I do see the allure.

A little bit.

But somehow going to the "Cake Ball Cafe" does not have the same appeal as the "Cupcake Cafe".

Am I right?

And...

Then there is the side of me that is still 10 years old and wants to giggle at the whole idea of cake having ...ummmm... well... you know.

Cupcakes have such a cozy, innocent feeling.

Cake Balls...ummm... not so much!

Why can't people just leave stuff alone? Soon society will start ridiculing cupcake eaters. They will taunt us with sayings like, "You're a loser. You don't have any (cake) balls."


Am I right?

Sadly, I think I am.

So I have decided to stay in 2010.

Sure, it was a lousy year...sickness, pestilence, plague, persecution, poverty... (sorry, I got stuck in P-alliteration and couldn't stop!)

...but at least I had the comfort of cupcakes.

Now. A year with only cake balls to sustain me sounds like a grim and dreary obstacle.

Insurmountable, really.

You will be getting a spam .... ummm.... I mean e-mail petition from me soon regarding stopping this insidious undermining of one of the great comfort foods of all times.

Please, sign it and forward it to your Congressman. Or Senator. Or one of those people that can outlaw Cake Balls in your state.

Until I know cupcakes are safe, though, I'm digging my heels in and not starting 2011.

Feel free to join me if you wish.

Sigh.

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Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Story-Time Tuesday - Writing Fiction

Jenny Matlock
If you missed where this story started just click here to read it or simply click on the Story-Time Tuesday link at the top of my blog to take you to previous chapters.

Writing Fiction - Chapter 18

Here's where Chapter 17 left you...

“Yes,” I said. “Is this an apology?”

“No. It’s not an apology. I’m just calling to tell you that...”

This time I interrupted him. “If it’s not an apology, then I have nothing to say to you. Please give my love to SPOT,” Then I had said goodbye and hung up.

This time the phone didn’t ring again. I waited for a minute. And a minute more.

I thought about calling him back, but I had no idea what I would say.

Instead I made another pot of coffee and went back to work on my blog.

If it wasn’t for my daughter, I would have just abandoned the whole idea and crawled onto the couch with my BFF, the remote control. Actually, if it wasn’t for my daughter, I wouldn’t be messing with the whole blog to begin with. Actually…

I think the lack of sleep had made me too tired to figure out the whole what, where, why and who made me’s of my blog, so instead I plodded along figuring out all the screens. It was complicated. And very, very distracting. Finally, my growling stomach alerted me to the fact that hours had passed, but before I made myself something to eat, I told myself I’d write a little test post to see if I was doing everything correctly.

I clicked the button on my blog that said ‘new post’ and suddenly I saw a little rectangle labeled ‘Title’, so I typed the word “Hello” into it. A whole bunch of letters and symbols separated the small rectangle from a larger one. I told myself I’d figure them all out later and in the large rectangle I typed , “My name is Spike and this is my blog.”

I’d looked and looked at the screen with those words for a long time until I finally spotted a box that said “Preview”. When I clicked on it I could see my blog! I could see my blog with the green grass and the blue sky and just as I was trying to figure out how to make it so the whole world could see my blog, the phone rang again.


And now, Chapter 18 begins...

Not wanting to appear to anxious, and struggling mightily to hang onto my zen tranquility, I let the phone ring several times before I picked it up with a cool, "Hello."

It wasn't him; it was my neighbor. "Pearl?" she started talking without even waiting to see if it was actually me on the phone. "I am so, so, so excited to see you got a dog. A dog is such a wonderful companion. I was really so, so, so happy to see you are getting on with your life. I just told Myron that I was so, so, so thrilled and..."

"Hey, Millie, thanks for calling. I hate to cut you off, but I'm kind of in a hurry here."

"Oh Pearl, I'm so, so sorry. I just started blathering on, didn't I? Myron always tells me..."

"Millie?" I interrupted her again, somewhat impatiently.

"Oh Pearl, I'm so, so sorry. I just did it again, didn't I? Okay. Well. The reason I was calling was that I was thinking that maybe you would like to arrange a play date between your adorable little dog and my Princess. Princess gets so, so, so lonely and..."

I so, so, so didn't want to get into the whole Edgar/Spot crisis with Millie, so I interrupted her yet again, "I'm sorry, but I need to run. I'll call you back later," and I quickly hung up the phone.

It rang again almost instantly. "Millie," I answered, "I so, so, so do not want to arrange a play date with Princess right now..." I began, but, instead of my irritating neighbor, it was HIM! The jerk! The moron! The dog snatcher!
I knew this because he rudely interjected, "I can tell you for certain that I so, so, so do not want to have a play date with you OR with Princess OR with Millie. And how did you develop a stutter between now and the last time we talked?"
"What are you talking about?" I sputtered. "That was a private conversation! Mind your own business."

Seriously. What was with this guy anyway? He was all kinds of aggressive and nasty to me when he was obviously the one with all the issues.

I had just opened my mouth to tell him this, when all the sudden he let out a big sigh.

A sigh. Sighs are just ridiculously irritating, aren't they? "What?" I shouted into the phone, "Why are you sighing? What is WRONG with you? My husband used to sigh at me, too, before he..."

"Before he what? Left you? Divorced you? I can totally see why he would. You must be the angriest, most emotional, irrational person I've ever encountered. I'm just trying to explain about SPOT and you won't even let me get a word in edgewise..."

Screw zen tranquility. I hung up on him. And ripped the phone jack out of the wall.

What a nasty jerk! What a bully! Divorced? Angry? Emotional? Irrational? I was none of those things!

As I grabbed my coat off the hook by the door, those ridiculous dog poo pick-up bags, decorated in paw prints, fell to the floor. I slammed the door behind me and raged all the way to the car, prepared to burn some rubber and kick up gravel and dust as I sped out of the driveway. I didn’t have my keys.

Angry? Emotional? Irrational? I slammed my hands down on the steering wheel over and over again. What a jerk! What a nasty, horrible, terrible, disgusting man! Each word was punctuated by slamming my fists on the steering wheel. A small tap at my window diverted my anger for a moment. It was Millie. She was holding Princess in her arms and SMILING at me! Smiling, I tell ya. What kind of an imbecile doesn’t even notice another person yelling inside their car while attempting to beat the steering wheel to death?

She tapped on the window again.

Since my car wasn’t running, I had to open the car door. “Yes, Millie?” I forced out with clenched teeth.

“Princess and I saw you out here, Pearl, and we just wanted to tell you that we are both so, so, so excited about our play date with your precious new friend! Say bye-bye, Princess,” and with that Millie waved Princess’s perfectly groomed little paw at me and walked away.

I sat for a few long moments. What was that? What had just happened? Was Millie blind? Had oven cleaner fumes finally fried her brain? And honestly, you’re not going to believe this but I swear Princess had pink nail polish on. The dog. The dog had pink nail polish on. Seriously.

Exhausted once again from just trying to get through one lousy morning, I trudged back to the house. My life was pathetic. I was ridiculous. I was old and fat and tired and mad and lonely and fat and old and…. I guess you get the point.

I thought about the dog thief. He’d said I was an angry person. I didn’t use to be angry all the time, but maybe I was becoming ‘that woman’. You know the one? Tight lipped, bitter, with lipstick bleeding into those lines radiating out from her mouth? The kind of person that can only crack a grudging smile at someone else’s misfortune?

He’d told me I was emotional. I swear I didn’t use to cry at the drop of a hat, or laugh hysterically at a unfunny joke. I didn’t.

And now that I was thinking about it, maybe he had something with ‘irrational’. Do rational people go to the store in their slippers? Try to beat the steering wheel of their car to death? Lay on their kitchen floor trying to commit suicide by tears? Become attached to a mangy, scroungy dog in five seconds? Is any of that rational?

I went back into the house quietly and walked upstairs. Opening the doors of my nightstand, I pulled out all the books about grief and stacked them neatly on my bed. I picked up the first one. The back jacket of the book had a serious looking man with big, sympathetic eyes. I hated him. I ripped all the pages out of his book and tore them into little pieces. Scattering them across the vast expanse of my bed, I felt a moment’s satisfaction in the ‘vowel and consonant confetti’. I picked up the second book. It was one of those time-line books. You know the kind: lose 30 pounds in 4 weeks by following these six simple steps? Well, this one was, “Recovering From Loss in 6 ½ Weeks in 13 Painless Steps.” Yeah, yeah, whatever. I began ripping out those pages, too, and then I stopped myself. Angry? Emotional? Irrational? I stuffed the surviving books back into the cupboard and ran down the stairs.

After shoving the phone cord’s plastic thing-y back into the wall, I was relieved to find that the phone still worked and, when Spot’s dad answered on the first ring, I blurted out, “What’s your problem anyway?”

He sighed again. “Lady, listen. This is complicated, but I’ve been thinking a little bit. I was wrong to take Spot like that.” He made a funny gagging noise and stopped. “Are you okay?” I asked him. “Yeah, I’m just trying to tell you that I’m, I’m, well…s…s…sorry. Okay? There! Yeah. I’m sorry. That was really nasty of me.”

His confession caught me off guard for a moment, but then the self-effacing, manners auto-pilot my mother, God rest her soul, had installed in me since birth kicked in. “That’s okay. I completely understand,” I said.

Silence hummed over the phone line. And hummed some more. And then, when I couldn’t stand the silence any longer, I blurted out, “That’s so not true. It’s not okay. It was horrible. Really cruel. I don’t understand why you did it at all. AND I’m really not an angry, emotional or irrational person. I just…”

The silence hummed its uncomfortable tune again. I tried to continue, “I just, just…well, I really just bonded with Edgar and…”

His voice interrupted me, softly. He sounded almost gentle for a moment, “Lady, listen, I get it. Listen. Ummm… let’s have coffee and talk this over, okay?”

I started babbling, “It’s kind of late in the morning for me to have coffee…sometimes when I drink more than a cup or two I get all jumpy and…”

“Alright, okay. Breathe,” he said, “I’ll drink regular, you can drink decaf…”

“Well, you know decaf doesn’t mean no-caf, it means…”

He sighed.

I shut up.

He sighed again, “Yes or no? You can drink water, I don’t care. I just wanted to tell you about Spot? If it’s too much, though, we can discuss this another time over the phone. Or we can just forget the whole thing.”

“Water it is.” Then he named a coffee place I’d seen quite a few times on a busy downtown street. I’d never been there. My husband had always been outraged at the price of fancy coffee, so we’d never gone. Not even once.

I started thinking about everything that had happened with Edgar/Spot in such a short time. I was really curious how this guy was going to justify his horrible behavior. You’d almost think he was…

I had no time to ponder possibilities, though. We were meeting for coffee (and water) in less than two hours and I still had to try and find something I could sausage myself into beforehand.

To be continued, Tuesday, January 11th.

(c) 2010 Jennifer R. Matlock
This publication is the exclusive property of Jennifer R. Matlock and is protected
under the US Copyright Act of 1976 and all other applicable international, federal, state and local laws. The contents of this post/story may not be reproduced as a whole or in part, by any means whatsoever, without consent of the author, Jennifer R. Matlock. All rights reserved.

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Monday, January 3, 2011

Deck the Halls with...

Hooray!

Go me!

I am so cool!

I rock!

I'm da man! (Ummmm.... OK, that one was a stretch!)

The good news is...

I am all done Christmas decorating for 2011!

Ta da!

It's true!


Yesterday I decided it was time to take down all the stuff I just put up to make my house feel festive and filled with the holiday spirit and then I realized...

I would have to go out to the frigid garage (Is so! It's been in the 20's at night here in the low desert... so there!)...

...and find all the boxes I just took the stuff out of...

...and put all the stuff back in the boxes...

...and nag ... I mean... ummm.... sweetly encourage ... Mr. Jenny to put all the boxes back up...

...and then I'd have to find all the stuff I took down when I put all the stuff up in the first place...

...So!

I had a brilliant idea! I'm just going to re-arrange a few things and voila! 2011 decorating already achieved.

...

...

Hooray?

Go me?

I rock?

Huh?

OK. Fine. Spoil Sport. You and Mr. Jenny are all kinds of negative at the start of 2011.

Just. Fine.

I'll take the dumb decorations down now.

I hope you're all happy.

But just so you know. I'm not singing any Christmas songs while I do it!

I'm going to be pouty and sulky and naughty and not nice.

It's not like Santa will remember my behaviour after 12 months have passed anyway.

Sigh.

PS. Just so Santa doesn't think I'm a liar, too, that's totally not my house. Mine is decorated wayyyyy better than that.

PPS. OK. It's not. But it could be if I tried harder. And moved. And hired a decorator.

PPPS. Sigh.

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Sunday, January 2, 2011

Sundays with Steve - Snow!

These Sunday's segments are written by my husband, Mr. Jenny. Here's what he has to say about his posts:

Since I’ve started writing “Sundays with Steve”, I’ve been thinking about vignettes of my life growing up in North Idaho. I realize the town where I grew up and the life I lived with my family is really a classic, all-American story. Perhaps you will recognize some of your childhood in these writings. And perhaps you will recognize the town you grew up in along with some of the characters you knew. Mrs. Steve has encouraged me to write these attempts of “creative writing” as opposed to the more factual journalistic style I was trained in and practiced in my early career many years ago. So my apologies if I stumble a bit here and there trying to blend the two styles together.


The Joys of Snow

The steep hill must have been miles long, the snow cold and joyous, the Radio Flyer sled one of the fastest on earth: Life was good to that ten-year old, nothing else mattered besides getting down that hill.

It was probably the same image most every kid in America had that winter and most winters -- what could be better than sledding on new fallen snow in the neighborhood? The images, the memories, are a bit different from reality of course, but that didn’t matter. What mattered was getting in as many runs down those hills as quickly as you could.


Our town was built on a series of benches, rising above the confluence of the Snake and Clearwater rivers. The first bench, just one block from home, dropped steeply 250 feet or so down to the river bottom land below, where downtown was located and some adjacent industrial areas. That drop-off was perfect for sledding when the rare snow-fall hit.

Our town didn’t own a snow plow, but it did have a couple of beat-up dump trucks that spread sand on the slickest hills after the snow stopped falling. Until it spread that sand, the town would close the steep hill roads which would then be taken over by us, the neighborhood sledders, in all areas of the city. Those streets ran straight up the hillsides; with no curves to slow you down, your sled was a monster flying down the hills of town.

The hills were not miles long of course, but a couple of hundred yards at the most. When you are ten- years old and flying your Radio Flyer lickety split, it felt like a mile or more, it felt like the ride was going to go on forever.

We never got more than about six inches of snow in the heaviest of storms, and it never stuck around more than a few days at a time. I did a check the other day and saw that town averages about 18-inches of snow a year, what many of you get in a good winter storm. How can that be, you might ask? A town in the mountains of Idaho without much snow? Yes, it is an arid climate there, warm summers, moderate winters, less than eleven inches of precipitation a year, with the Cascade mountains 150 miles west blocking the winter storms off the Pacific. The town isn’t in the mountains, but in the rain shadow of the Cascades.

But when the snows came, and it always did at some point during the winter, the kids came out in droves, including me and my brothers.

While the hill road our in our neighborhood never got more than a dozen sledders at a time, the “big” hills in our town would host hundreds of kids in the morning after a good storm.

Our neighborhood hill, 11th Avenue where it dropped off Prospect to Snake River Avenue below, was one of the best in town for its steepness and for a local cop who would block a cross street at the bottom of the hill. The street was usually good for only a few hours of frantic, maybe even manic, sledding before the city truck would come along to spread sand on the road and ruin our sledding. The good news was that the hill was so steep that it was one of the first to be blocked to traffic, and also it was a secondary street, so it was one of the last to be sanded. We would get maximum sledding time before we lost the road to the city crews.

Once that happened, we would make the short walk home, change into dry clothing, hungrily drink hot cocoa, and beg my parents to drive us across the river to Clarkston and the steep hills of the golf course that would have hundreds of sledders looking for a fast ride on its hills.


Sledding in our town never lasted for more than about one day, maybe two, before it melted away. In later years, in teenage years, we would take trips out of town to the nearby mountains to experience sledding in deep snows on very long hills. The bravest of us would venture further afield to experience and master downhill skiing and other winter sports.

But in the earliest of days, after a good snowfall, our neighborhood was our joy, the snow was our joy, and nothing else mattered in those days of winter.

(c) 2010 Stephen J. Matlock
This publication is the exclusive property of Stephen J. Matlock and is protected
under the US Copyright Act of 1976 and all other applicable international, federal, state and local laws. The contents of this post/story may not be reproduced as a whole or in part, by any means whatsoever, without consent of the author, Stephen J. Matlock. All rights reserved.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Saturday Centus - Week 35

Jenny Matlock
Happy New Year! I decided to go ahead and post a Centus for those that wish to participate this week. I haven't visited last weeks yet, but rest assured, Grands are going back to school this week and I will get caught up with everything!

I won't get into all the mushy New Years sentiments here on this post, (you can read those by clicking here!) I look forward to a 2011 reading more of your wonderful work!



Welcome to week thirty-five of Saturday Centus.

STOP! If you didn't read the end SC's from last week, please take a moment to do so. Just work backwards until you find out where you left off. I feel really bad that the people at the end don't get read.

Thanks!

Now on to regular SC biz...In case you've forgotten...

This is a themed writing meme. You can use UP to 100 words to tell your story. The prompt does not count for your 100 words AND it must be left intact in the body of your story. As a special New Years gift, though, you can use illustrations this week if you are so inclined. Your story can be fact or fiction, just keep it PG, please!

You have the entire week to link your work to the meme and you can link more than one story if you like.

Please display link button or just a hyper-link back to Saturday Centus. Be careful to link your SC URL to the Linky and not just link to your main blog.

I would suggest that since these are so short, if you can't think of a title just use your blog name as the title in the Linky.

Try to visit each one because there are some amazing writers participating in this meme. Since the links are so short they are also a fun and quick read.

Please e-mail me directly with ???'s or ask your question in a comment and I will do my best to get back to you as soon as possible.

This week the prompt is: "Her crumpled up list of resolutions..."

Link anytime between now and next Saturday morning.

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