Not a box of chocolates like Mr. Gump told us.
Really.
I was in the car a few days ago, sitting at a stop light, indulging in an epic 'oh poor me' session.
If you're not familiar with an 'oh poor me' session, it's the thing that goes something like this:
Yeah, I've gotten really fat again...
It's hot...
I feel lousy...
waaa...waaaa...waaa...
Why bother...
It's been such a crappy year why shouldn't I get some comfort from eating bad stuff...
I'm tired...
Everything is going wrong...
waaa...waaaaa...waaaaaa...
I deserve to feel sorry for myself. Things are so difficult right now...
It's too hot to exercise...
waaa...waaaa...waaa...
I'm bored...
I'm sad...
waaaa...waaaa...waaa...
...and then I saw this 'fluffy' woman walk out of a drugstore on the corner and head to the bike rack.
I saw her just start unlocking her bicycle lock as the light changed.
And when I drove off, instead of being impressed that another chubby woman was actually being energetic enough to ride her bike in this heat...
I thought to myself, instead...
Sure...
Look at her. All lucky. She just goes out to the bike rack and unlocks her bicycle.
If it was me, the stupid key would stick in the lock, or I would forget the combination, or the metal thingy-s wouldn't open and I would just be standing there swearing inside my head and wondering why I ever bothered in the first place.
Because at that exact moment my life felt like a bicycle lock.
All tangled up and sticking and not working smoothly at all.
So it seemed just easier to not bother trying to do anything positive...
...since all my attempts seemed to end up like a stuck, screwed up, bicycle lock.
And I drove for a while longer and then I had a small revelation.
What if I tried the bike lock AND IT WORKED!
AND IT DIDN'T STICK!
AND I DIDN'T FORGET THE COMBINATION!
AND THE METAL THING-Y OPENED UP ON THE FIRST TRY!
WHAT IF?
...
What if???
I realized that maybe I've been defeating myself lately.
Stopping before I even start.
Assuming the bad before I even give the good a chance.
Yeah.
I never even gave my bicycle lock a chance.
...
Which always seems to be my personal danger when I do the 'oh poor me' impression for more than a few seconds.
I start believing it.
I get sucked into the apathy that nothing will get better.
And I don't work on the positive, because of the whole fear of the bike lock.
You know?
So I'm working on being hopeful about the bike lock.
And being hopeful about the future.
And taking care of myself because it matters.
And now...
I really just need to buy a bike so I have something to actually lock up.
Oh yeah.
And I need to buy a bicycle lock.
'Cuz I think I'm gonna get lucky and find one that works perfectly.
...
...
Sigh...
Love this metaphor because it is so true! "Stinking thinking" is what some call it. Here's to the perfect key for your lock!
ReplyDeleteThe glass is so much better half full than half empty.
ReplyDeletePoor Jenny...you bring the whine and I will bring the cheese and see if we can't work things out...xoxoxo
ReplyDeleteAside from the hard seats, being chased by rabid dogs, being knocked over by cars, and being a moving target for kids with apple cores, I used to love riding bikes.
ReplyDeletea good poor me session is always ok to have...especially when you can talk yourself through it and put it in a place (whatever that place may be) for at least a period of time and keep moving forward. So even if your lock does get stuck, remember you can cut it off and get a new one pretty easily - you just have to want to...
ReplyDeleteAww, Jenny....I think you need a hug. Don't worry, my bike will probably be next to yours and I'll also have one of those troublesome locks too. I'll be sure to carry my lock cutter so that we can both remove it the hard way. :)
ReplyDeleteHi Jenny: Love the bike lock metaphor...very inspirational....you really should be a motivational speaker...traveling all over the world like Tony Robbins...Yeah, I can see ya doing that! And you'd be filthy rich like him! :)
ReplyDeleteHave a wonderful 4th of July weekend!(Stay cool and non sticky..oh and always carry DW40 in your back pocket...hehe)
patti
Jenny---
ReplyDeleteThink positve!!! You can do it.
Enjoy the holiday--do something for YOU.
Have fun.
Melinda
I think the bike in the picture is just the one you should get....no lock would dare not work if it was attached to that bike.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the encouragement to get my mind going in the right direction today.
Everyone needs this post at times, so thank you for it, Dear One.
ReplyDelete~♥~
Huh...guess I need to get looking for the right key for my lock....
ReplyDeleteThanks for the "push" in the right direction.
xxoo,
RMW
I get like that too and have to pull myself up by the collar before I spiral into a long 'poor me' sojourn. I think you should get a turquoise bike. You could ride it around, scouting out orphaned furniture to tattoo!
ReplyDeleteJenny I swear your posts come into my life at the exact right moments. I've been doing some 'poor me' thinking here lately...cause of the heat I'm sure! Oh wait that was another excuse wasn't it...this has me thinking about maybe my bicycle lock would work if I just tried it. You are the best voice inside my head! hugs, Linda
ReplyDeleteIf you want to do as the Dutch do you'll spend more money on your bike lock than you do on the actual bike ;)
ReplyDeleteI've been doing a lot better in the positivity department lately but still every now and then I really need a kick in the butt that says "Don't give up before you've even started!" Normally I wouldn't tell someone thanks for the kick but I will tell YOU thanks for the kick in the butt I needed to have today.
P.S. If you use your lock on a regular basis it's less likely to stick ;)
ReplyDeleteGlad you talked yourself through the'oh poor me' moments. Riding a bike is like having your own personal fan, with the wind blowing through your hair. It lifts the butt and spirit too, Jenny! Hope you get one. Maybe there's a beautiful bike trail nearby...here the the old railway was turned into The Little Miami Bike Trail.
ReplyDeleteBuy a bike you'll love it. We ride every weekend 6 miles round trip up to our farmers market, its so much fun and you feel so free :o)
ReplyDeleteWhat profound musings! And boy, can I identify!
ReplyDeleteOh Jenny, it's poor ME, not poor YOU.. lol! I'm quite familiar with that conversation - I have stinkin' thinkin' a lot - working on that. I loved this post - a lot of what I've been going through lately. And I seriously want that bike! :) Have a fabulous 4th!! -Tammy
ReplyDeleteWell, Dear Jenny... I have a bike and don't ride it:) I sure need to! We are at the beach this week and there are so many people riding bikes, making me want to ride too!
ReplyDeleteHave a blessed day, we'll ride together one day:) HUGS!
Jenny~ "The mind is everything. What you think you become." ~Buddha
ReplyDeleteBuddha explained that all our problems and suffering arise from confused and negative states of mind, and that all our happiness and good fortune arise from peaceful and positive states of mind.
You can do it! Hugs!~Ames
I have a solution to your problem... get a stationary bike, keep it inside, in the AC, near refreshments, TV, and computer. No need for a troublesome lock!
ReplyDeleteKeep your chin/chins up!
WD40. That's the answer to everythig!!!!
ReplyDeleteI read a book years ago entitled "The Power of Optimism" by Doctor Alan McGinnis and it really helped me turn a lot of the negative thoughts and defeatism that I was brought up with into positive feelings and enthusiam for life. Our thought patterns really do control our lives! Exercise really helps as it releases endorphins which improves our mood. Don't let the negatives of life get you down, Jenny. You have too much to offer the world to let that happen! {[[Hugs}}}
ReplyDeleteHope everything unlocks for you soon, Jenny. I'm kind of in the same place. I think I've been focusing too much on others and not enough on myself.
ReplyDeleteI think I need to ride my own bike for awhile...literally and figuratively!
=)
My lock is just stuck. I can frown at it or smile at it, but it's still stuck. Stupid lock.
ReplyDeleteI have a bike and a helmit, but not a lock, I think.
ReplyDeleteFeel free to use it!
I have been wanting to buy a bike for a long time. I know a patient at our office that is 60ish and she has been riding a "big bike" (motorcycle) for 30 years! I say you go girl!
ReplyDeleteBut I truly want to buy a bicycle. I was having a terrible pity party with myself int he past several weeks!
I am trying harder. Hee Hee
Love your stories always and forever! Anne
Oh yeah...that hit home. I feel ya...in fact I think I was in the ca with you. UGH...I need to try that lock and have a different outlook myself.
ReplyDeleteGreat metaphor, Matlock! I feel the same way now and again. My therapist reminds me that, like all things, it will pass.
ReplyDeleteI think everyone is entitled to a period of "poor me," so long as they get over it.
ReplyDeleteI had a dream about you last night. You are amazing. Lock or no lock, you are my hero. Seriously.
*HUGS*
ReplyDeleteI love when you share your thoughts with us. I feel like this too...but I MUST get a lock as well...let me know where you find the working ones. :)
ReplyDeletexoxoxoxox
hoping you find your bicycle AND a lock that works!!
ReplyDeleteAvoid leaving your beach cruiser out in the rain or outside overnight if dew is a possibility for the next morning.
ReplyDeleteAnd so Beachbikes.net was formed and a whole new way of purchasing a bike was developed.
Schwinn