Perhaps I am incapable of using Aroma-Scope correctly while juggling a giant tub of popcorn, opening bottle lids that are on too tight, ripping open cellophane candy wrappers with my teeth and reassuring two of three Grandlittles accompanying me that, "No, the little kids are not going to die. Yes, the dog is going to be funny when he talks! I'm sure we'll know when to use our Aroma-Scope cards!"
The three girls got out of school early on Wednesday and were anxious to go see the Smurfs...
However...
Mr. Jenny ended up unable to leave his office and was soooo disappointed that he didn't get to see the Smurfs with us, that I had to take the girls to see 'Spy Kids...All the Time in the World', instead.
When we arrived we were given 'Amazing Aroma-Scope Cards' so we could watch the movie in 4-D.
Obviously I live too sheltered of a life because I've never heard of 4D. The ticket guy told us there would be instructions on the screen before the movie, so I dumped the cards in my purse and we headed to the bathroom, the snackbar and then into the theatre.
After I finally got all the Grandlittles settled with enough food to last for approximately 13 days, we waited for the movie to start.
Some directions came onto the screen instructing us to rub off numbers 1-8 one at a time whenever we saw each specific number flash onto the screen.
The girls wanted to hold their own cards, but I quickly figured out that little girls are incapable of holding onto a small cardboard card while eating and drinking simultaneously .
Yeah.
Every time Morgan saw any number on the screen, be it a car license plate or someone wearing a football jersey, she would let out a very, very loud squeal!
But finally the 'Number 1' flashed on the screen. Popcorn spilled, soda spilled, little kids were screeching all over the theater.
I quickly handed out the cards and we all rubbed and rubbed and smelled 'Number 1' on the card. None of us could figure out what it smelled like. Everyone had to pass their cards around to see if someone elses card smelled different.
They didn't.
Then I had to hold them all again.
Eating and drinking resumed.
Until 'Number 2' flashed on the screen.
Chaos and more squealing commenced accompanied by spilling and typical little kid's 'Number 2' humor. There was more passing of cards because apparently little kids think it would be very cool to smell a babies dirty diaper. Been there. Done that. Didn't think the smell was cool at all.
As then the numbers progressed through a blue cheese bomb and three numbers for smells from a candy store.
Repeat all the stuff I already said each time a new number flashed onto the screen.
Etc. Etc. Etc.
All the numbers smelled alike.
Finally, by the time we had to scratch off 'Number 6', the Grandlittles had lost interest.
Oh sure...
We scratched...
...and sniffed...
...and passed the cards all around...
...but since they all smelled pretty much the same things got a lot calmer.
By the time the movie was over, I'm not actually sure what it was about.
The oldest Grandlittle was fussy becasue she was 'covered in sticky' from spilling her drink so many times...
The youngest Grandlittle was fussy because her 'smeller thing was a piece of junk'...
...and I was just plain, old fussy.
...gosh...
...that was a very, very long movie...
...although...
I'm actually pretty happy they didn't get the smell of baby diapers or dog 'stinkers' correct.
4D movies...
I highly, highly do NOT recommend them!
But maybe you'll be lucky and go to one where your 'smeller thing is NOT a piece of junk' and then you will be able to sniff and gag through an entire movie.
Wow.
Wouldn't that be a special time?
Sigh...
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Ahhhh, the fun times!!!
ReplyDeleteThe lack of correct smell would frustrate JDaniel.
ReplyDeleteI would have a hard time paying attention to the movie. It wouldn't be as relaxing as I would want....lol...
ReplyDeletesounds like a lot of work to me!..
ReplyDeleteI'm sure that by the end, the smeller cards smelled like popcorn, soda, and candy all wrapped into one nauseating odor!!
ReplyDeleteUmmmmm.....ahhhh.....yeah.....thanks for the warning...will not be going to one of those. Although my son was at one in Australia that had 4D and the seats moved and the smells did not come from a piece of cardboard, so methinks some other theaters have some catching up to do, lol.
ReplyDeleteYuck! Does not sound like fun and scratch and sniff smelly stuff...ugh. Who thinks of these things.
ReplyDeleteI've actually been to a 4D short, and the studio was equipped with machines that pumped out a fragrance and pumped out fake fog, and snow ... now that is 4D ... what you went through just sounds lame ... poor littles.
ReplyDeleteGood God, that's too much work... movies should be relaxing... LOL! Smurfs was great, hope you all made it to see that one. That one is is in 3D but I just saw the regular version cause 3D gives me a headach sometimes... 4D yeah, that's just a whole other mess of issues!
ReplyDeleteMy 3-D TV at home is enough to deal with!
ReplyDeleteOh my....I don't even like 3D...and bad smells can ruin my day. YOU are one brave gramma.
ReplyDeletexoxo
I have never even been to a 3D yet, so 4D is way out of my grasp! They really had a scratch-off for dog poop??? :( xo
ReplyDeleteOh, Gwamma... I'm not brave enough to do that! My kids have seen commercials for that nonsense, but they don't even like 3D so we won't be seeing it. Now the Smurfs looks pretty good...
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure that if you go to Universal Studios theme park (and DisneyWorld, too, I think), they have real 4D movies. I think they may even have one at World of Coke in Atlanta, although it's "fourth D" is movement. But at one of the theme parks, I definitely remember a Lilo and Stitch show (must've been Disney, come to think of it) that had "Smellervision". And Stitch likes to pass gas.. a LOT. I don't think we did seconds on that one. As for those cards, they MUST have been created by someone who has NEVER taken a small child to the movies. Lame.
ReplyDeleteYou make me glad that 4D is not in the realm of my experience.
ReplyDelete=)
I haven't been to the theater since "Ghost". Wasn't that like 1990? Your description does NOT make me chomp at the bit to go, either. LOL!
ReplyDeleteThis is too hilarious. I'd have to float a loan to take my clan to the movies.
ReplyDelete3D cards really? Scratchin and Sniffin anything in a movie theatre sounds a little disgusting to me. You aren't the only one to be out of the movie gizmomathingajiggy loop. Those silly red blue glasses they gave out in the 70's, 80's and 90's every so often never did anything for me. But ya know it was a good learning experience for the girls.
P.S. Thanks for the hug card.Jyust got it today! It was way better than any 3D scratch and sniff card! ♥~Ames
Boy am I out of the loop - never knew this sort of thing had evolved at the theater...
ReplyDeleteSounds like you had your hands full - literally!
Your writing is so great, Jenny - we are right there with you - sticky hands and all...a terrific post!
Bwahahahaha! Wow. I didn't know they showed things in 4D. And how nusiancefull would that be, anyway? Though I sort of want to go now. Just for the experience. Even if it is a piece of junk, I think it would be sort of fun. Then again, I am just the fool that these sorts of things are aimed at.
ReplyDeleteThat just seems wrong to have to smell something to get the experience of the movie. You are one brave grandma, that all I can say.
ReplyDeleteI take my hat off to you - three little girls, all that food and drink and Aroma cards as well. I giggle all the way through this though I'm quite sure I would have had a pounding headache and seen nothing funny at all!!
ReplyDeleteNo, I'm afraid that the aroma cards would have been the very last straw. Gimmick with a capital G!
ReplyDelete