Wednesday, March 23, 2011

What does 'biki...' spell?

Last week our Grands were off on spring break. I am still trying to recover.

On Friday I took the younger two to get pedicures.

Hey, don't give me that look. I'm not turning them into pampered princesses like Tom Cruise's daughter. I thought they would think it was fun AND I am not capable of painting zebra stripes on toenails...although now I think about it I probably could have accomplished it with a black sharpie.


They had a ball. I had a ball. The middle one had a big grin on her face the whole time and ended up with hot pink fingernails and black and white zebra toenails. The little one worried a lot about a boo-boo on one of her toes but eventually ended up happy with ice blue nails layered with glitter. I was happy with just plain pink...on my toes only, thank you very much.

Just as we were finishing up a customer walked in and asked for a brow wax and followed the tech into a back room in the salon.

I've had a brow wax before. Yeah. It wasn't fun, but when the customer walked back up to the front only a few minutes later with a smile on her face I decided to give it a go.

I went back to the 'waxing' room and climbed up onto the table and laid down. Four big, blue eyes watched intently from inches beside me. I realized the error of my ways the minute they both started asking questions... "What are you doing now?" "Why are you putting wax on there?" "Why are you putting that white paper on there?"

There questions swirled around the room and the technician patiently answered by saying, "I'm going to wax your Grandma's eyebrows and in a second she's going to say OUCCCCHHH!"

And I did.

She did a few more strips and the little girls watched totally mesmerized.

As we were walking out, the middle Grand asked me, "Why did you do that?"

I explained that sometimes the hair on our eyebrows gets out of control a little bit and sometimes waxing is a quick way to take care of it.

She thought about it.

She said, "What else can they wax?"

I said, "Oh, some people get their legs waxed. I think some people get their arms waxed. Upper lips."

She thought about it.

"Grandma," she said, "What do you get waxed that starts with the letters b-i-k-i? I can't remember the rest of the letters. It was on the sign. Do you know what that word is? What is a biki wax?"

I was silent.

Thinking fast.

"What was the word again, Riley?" I asked her.

She repeated, "B-i-k-i and some more letters, but I can't remember what they were."

I was silent.

I was saying a prayer of gratitude that she hadn't learned the word bikini yet on a first grade spelling test.

I was hoping she wouldn't remember the last two letters. I was hoping she wouldn't ask any more questions.

I distracted her by reminding her that we had to draw some pictures when we got home to send to some people that needed cheering up.

She didn't bring it up again.

However, when she showed me her first picture it was of me laying on the table getting my eyebrows waxed.

"Riley, why did you draw this?" I asked her.

"Because it funny every time you said 'ouch'! Grandma!"

I was silent.

I was too busy saying prayers of gratefulness that she didn't know what a bikini wax is so she couldn't draw a picture of that particular 'ouch'!


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Unknown said...

And that would have been a very big OUCH indeed! I have never had one of those and have no desire to begin at my age(I'd be afraid that certain, ahem, parts would find their way onto the cloth strip). The brows are bad enough that I only do it once every year of so. Okay, so I'm a wimp.

Terra said...

Ok, So...I did the brow wax once. My eyes itched for three days. I hated it. I am not a princess.

The girls get mani/pedis two to three times a year. We found a fun place that does them for $25 and they relax a little and they look cute and it is fun...

and they haven't asked me about waxing body parts...and I am glad.

Sharon said...

Ahhhh! Adventures with Grandma...memories they'll never forget! Who knows, maybe someday they'll blog about them! I loved this story! Have a great day!

Arkansas Patti said...

Phew, that was close. Lets hope she doesn't remember to bring that up in Sunday school. There is so much out there for kids to wonder about. Thank goodness they have parents to tackle those questions some day.

Anonymous said...

The grands get to learn so much and have so much fun when they are with you.

Diane said...

You are such a cool grandma, taking the kids for manis and pedis! I wax the brows but that's as far as I'm goin' with the wax. 'Ouch' is right!

Kat said...

How fun, well except for the brow waxing - ouch is right. I'm such a wimp, I only get it done about twice a year. I never had a pedicure until about 3 years ago - daughter insisted. Now I'm hooked! Hopefully that "biki" word will fade from their memory. I can't help but think that years from now, they'll realize what it is, think back on today's adventure, and laugh out loud. Kat

Julie Kwiatkowski Schuler said...

I probably would have been blunt, and just told them about pubic hair, and that they were going to get it. It's not a secret, is it? I have already drawn my children diagrams of adult people, intercourse, and how babies come out because I don't want to keep answering all these questions! Ten minutes later they were bombarding me with other questions, about gravity, and space, and time..... it never ends!

Jeanie said...

I wish I was brave enough to get zebra stripes or blue glitter on my nails. I am definitely not brave enough to explain a bikini was to my grandaughter.

Theresa Plas said...

O MY! Coffee spewing time here again...hilarious!

La Petite Gallery said...

Years ago I did the wax thing once on my legs, too much pain. You are a great grandmother to take the girls to the beauty shop. They must have be very interested in the
goings on. They have great memories
for the rest of their lives.


Donnie said...

You are just too funny. Oh to be young

Linda @ A La Carte said...

Ouch indeed! You have the best time with the Grands and so much fun 'explaining' things to them. It will only get worse Jenny!! Oh and no 'biki' wax for me ever!!

Vicki/Jake said...

C.H.I.C.K.E.N. :):):)

Jocelyn said...

Out of the mouth of babes.....giggle insert!!!! Man dodged a bullet on that one!!!

Wishing you a Fabby day...and I have a hair appointment on Friday and eyebrows are included...OUCHIE!!!

Unknown said...

OMG toooooo funny! And just consider yourself lucky they didn't offer a Brazilian wax either MWHAHAHAHAHA And seeing the pictures of the zebra nails reminds me I want to take my lil 8 yr ole sis to a local place...last time I was in there I noticed they did hello kitty nails...lil hello kitties on every nail!

mle said...

Ahahaha! L.O.V.E. that!!
Grands sound like a wonderful exercise regimen - they stretch your heart full of love, give your tummy a laughter workout & keep you quick on your 'redirection' toes so you don't have to help them with spelling... : )

21 Wits said...

So cool!!! I am so patiently waiting for my two little princess grandbabies Lyra 2 in June and Karina 1 in July to be old enough to do those things with me!!!! Right now my excursions are Lego Land mostly with the boys!!!!

Nezzy (Cow Patty Surprise) said...

Heehehehe!!! They don't miss a thing do they???

Once way back in my younger and dumber days. Maybe it was that I was just totally naive, I bought a kit that was suppose to include wax, a warmer and applicator for the waxin' process. When it arrived it was kinda like a Sterno candle that you warmed on top of the stove. The applicator...tongue depressor.

Heck I'd paid good money so I warmed up the wax, sit down on the kitchen floor and smeared some of the hot stuff on shins on my legs. Yep, not just a little patch either. My son who was very young still remembers my screams as I literally ripped of skin.

To this day he will not let my DIL, The Latin Lovin' Hillbilly have anything waxed. Heeehehehe!!!

Sorry this is so needed to be told! Just sayin.....

God bless ya girl and have an amazin' day! :o)

Bossy Betty said...

This was so funny! Those grandkids will keep you on your toes, won't they?

"Alone again.... naturally!" said...

A big LOL from me! Thanks for dropping by my blog the other day Jenny and sending the big hug, it was much appreciated! Can't wait for my grandlittle to be old enough for nail much fun!

Theresa said...

OUCH... never had anything waxed:) Kids are too cute with their questions!

Have an ouch free day! HUGS!

Susan Anderson said...

I've never had anything waxed. And I think I'll keep it that way!


Auntie sezzzzzz... said...

Can't wait till she learns what a bikini is!!!!!!

Especially when she remembers to ask you about "that kind of" wax.

And to ask you WHY?????


Yup, I'm *evil* that way.


Oh! And isn't there something like a "Brazillian" one, where ALLLLLL of it is PULLLLED off?!?

Now the "WHY?" about that one, will be beyond priceless.

Ahem, you *hate* me now, don't you? -chuckle-

♥ Gentle hugs ♥

Amy said...




Ames said...

Woo hoo hoo! You narrowly escaped that one gwammaw. That would have been a great show and tell pic! Snicker, snicker!! What's that saying? Little picture big ears? or is it Little picture big eyes?

I bet the manni's and pedi's set you back like the movies set's me back with my grands. Although I do have one grand that would probably like a pedi and a massage. Now it's time for gwammaw's spring break!Enjoy.~Ames

Paula ~ castleandcottagesigns said...

You lucked out there Jenny, but I hope she doesn't go home and ask mom, or worse, dad!! more 'ouches' could be coming, lol!

La said...

You are the coolest grandma EVER!

Rek Sesh said...

This was fun to read...glad she was distracted enough not to question you further...she will learn soon enough from friends anyway... :)

Jo said...

Ah yes ... out of the mouths of babes... this was such a hilarious post ... and you escaped ... this time .... just wait till she can spell the entire word!!!

Stef said...

That is so funny. I was just thinking about that this morning, actually. I personally could NEVEr get a biki....whatever wax. That' would hurt way to much plus you gotta show your goods and that just ain't happening.
Way to distract and hopefully the next time it comes up will be with mommy.

Amy said...

HA! You could have changed it into binki. When I type binki sometimes I get a typo that says bikini. See, same letters more or less.
What a funny story, and what a sweet grandmother you are.

Bonnie said...

Zebra stripes?? I would love zebra stripes on my chubby little toes..haha

What wonderful memories the girls are making with their grandma. Little girls are so inquisitive. My boys never ask many questions so I'm lucky that way I guess..haha

Lisa H. said...

Thanks for the morning chuckle. As the mother of a very inquisitive child who is still very inquisitive at 17, I can just imagine the look on your face as you tried to sidestep that one.

Get WILL come up again.

Busy Bee Suz said...

Oh my gosh...those girls are too smart.
Hopefully they won't figure out what a 'Brazilian' or "telly" (savalas) wax is in the next few years either!

Su-sieee! Mac said...

Brave lady!

La Petite Gallery said...

Popped in to say Happy Sunday.