Friday, May 6, 2011

I am a BAD girl...

Ummm... wait, that didn't come out right...

I mean...

I am a bad GIRL!!!

Geez.

I just read the title of this post to Mr. Jenny and he looked pretty enthused so I guess I better just start completely over...

Ahem...

I am BAD at being a GIRL!

It's true.

I wish I wasn't, but I am.

You know how when you're young you learn all the ABC's of putting on make-up and putting together trendy little outfits that make your stomach look flat and your butt look perfect?

Yeah.

I missed that class.

And any related classes having to do with girl stuff, actually.

It's pretty sad when one of the things on my bucket list several years ago was "Learn to apply eye liner".

But the point to this post is really this...

I hate when I have to go to a 'girl lunch thing'. Our cul de sac is having a going away luncheon for one of the neighbors that I can't wiggle out of. The only saving grace is that Morgan is going with me because there's two other little kids attending.

The bad thing is...

IT'S A LUNCH WITH GIRLS WHO AREN'T BAD AT BEING GIRLS.


They wear cool jewelry that somehow matches but isn't too matchy-matchy with their casually trendy but not-too-trendy outfits. They have neat shoes. Their hair isn't sticking out in twelve directions or if it, it's on purpose and it looks adorable. They have cute purses. They remember to wear their lipstick.

They...

Sigh...

Do not frantically wrangle through their closest wondering why they only have four pairs of shorts that are all the same color. They do not wonder if they wore their medium brown shorts or their medium brown shorts to the last neighborhood event and, if so, did they wear the tan shirt with orange and red flowers OR the tan shirt with blue and purple flowers. They do not put on their super cute leather shoes with the wedge heels only to take them off four seconds later in favor of their brown Keens.

Sigh.

After this lunch is over I am going to plan ahead for the next get-together. I am going to go to the store and buy a different color of shorts...maybe even white, and a different color shirt, and a purse that doesn't match my shoes but GOES with them. I am going to buy some jewelry from Etsy. And maybe one of those cool floppy flowery vintage pin things.

I need to plan ahead now, because soon I won't have the distraction of adorable little Morgan for everyone to 'ohhh' and 'awwww' over.

Morgan will be in Kindergarten this fall... which means... GULP! ... next time I may have to go by myself...

...which means...

...that after I put my new 'outfit' on...

I'm going to have to leave it on...

And not change back to brown shorts 1, 2, 3 or 4...

...with a button front cotton shirts, Keens, no jewelry with my hair sticking out twelve ways (and none of them charming!)

Sigh.

See.

I told you I was a BAD girl!

Sigh.

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15 comments:

Amanda said...

I was a bad girl too, I skipped that class so I know just how you feel.

Sue said...

You are a good GIRL!! You gave me awesome capri advice...awesome boob cleavage advice...awesome hair advice...
So there!

Unknown said...

You are too cute, Jenny :) Well, don't fret too much about being a bad girl because I'm pretty bad myself too. I never learned how to put on makeup and would rather stay that way since I can sleep in an extra half hour instead. Wardrobe? It consists of mostly jeans and t-shirts and long sleeves, all from Old Navy, mind you. I believe I own a skirt and maybe one dress that is my default "go-to" for when I need to "dress up" but that's about it. I guess I just avoid going to any girly social gatherings unless it's somehow related to playdates for E :)

I say we should start a bad girls club where we all get together in our non-matching attire :)

Anonymous said...

Hi! I too missed that class and over here everybody seems to be good at being a girl

Judie said...

The Bad Girl's Club--I like the sound of that!

When I put on my brown shorts, I always forget that they have paint on them somewhere. I had some lipstick, but I don't know where it is.

When I had my hair cut this week, another cow lick showed up. So much for that sleek look.

Have a great Mother's Day, Jenny!!

Jo said...

Welcome to the club ... lucky me i can hold up an outfit and my daughter will let me know if it works or not ... and then she goes and picks out my clothes for the day ... and when my daughter isn't around to dress me (she shops for me too) my friends just accept the fact that i am the eccentric one in the group ... sigh ...

Pat said...

Dear Jenny, You are cordially invited to my house - anytime - I can guarantee you will not be required to wear a trendy outfit or perfect little shoes...

Your brown shorts will fit right in!

La Petite Gallery said...

Now Jenny, we all know you are NOT a bad Girl.

Happy Mothers Day Yvonne

Melinda said...

I assure you that the other women attending this function will be fretting over their wardrobe also--they may not admit it but they will cause they are female afterall.
Have fun.

Happy Mother's Day!

Melinda

H said...

What's eye liner?

Lynn said...

I feel your pain Seesta:@)

jabblog said...

I'm not good at ANY sort of get-together . . .

Jayne Martin said...

You can't go wrong with a simple denim skirt and some really cute sandals. Or a sun dress with a denim jacket. Target has tons of cute things right now really inexpensive. Hire a teenager to take you shopping.

My favorite show is "What Not To Wear" on TLC. I think we need to nominate you. ;)

Splendid Little Stars said...

LOL! I was at a breakfast yesterday with 4 friends. One loves, LOVES shoes..and well, purses and jewelry, and all the girlie stuff. But it's OK. We all still love her. I confessed that I have less shoes than my husband, that I have worn the same shoes all summer for the last 3 years--pretty much exclusively. Those would be Chacos (sandals). Oh how my feet love them! I do not get new clothes regularly and sometimes I bemoan that fact. (like when I was getting ready for the birthday party last night)
I do like jewelry and I make it. (I like mostly simple stuff and don't necessarily care about trendy.)
Anyway, Jenny, I hear you, I'm
with you, yep, I'm in the same club!

Terra said...

I am a bad girl too...so bad I have trouble helping my girl be the girl she wants to be...thank goodness she is only 5 and one day i can take her for girl lessons or something at the makeup counter right?