Thursday, September 9, 2010

An astonishing update from Scoop!

Scoop! Scoop Matlock here.

So, there's this dame I know named Amy who is a little plugged into some Soprano like people in Shy-town (Chicago to you un-scooplike dumbbells out there) and she put in a good word for me and explained the whole screw up with the moron proof-reader.

After I got back from Vinnies corner bar and my three bourbon lunch I found this on my e-mail. And it came with the whole official seal and everything so I'm pretty sure it's the real deal.

Dear Mr. Scoop,

On behalf of the Pulitzer Selection Committee I am happy to inform you that you have been nominated and selected as a Pulitzer winner!

Normally this prestigious award is given in the Spring, but due to your so honest and raw article of the violence in your small town, we feel it is justified to award you with this now.

A banquet will be held for you at the Low Library at Columbia University in New York City on September 17th at 11:00 A.M. Please arrive 20 minutes early.

We look forward to meeting you, Mr. Scoop!

Pulitzer Selection Committee

PS. We strongly suggest you find a new proof-reader. If the one you have is a problem we might be able to find some cement boots just his size.

My next story, once the proof-reader is disposed of is the one on this dame I was telling you about. She has a blog called Involuntary Smiles which I'm pretty sure is a mafia code word. I'm thinking there's definitely a story there. And it ain't gonna be about no shrinking violets either.

NOTE FROM JENNY: Confused? Wow, that would totally be the first time that ever happened here on my blog. But this post is linked to my Rainbow Summer Schools color Violet. Don't ask. It's too hard to explain. You'll just have to read the story so you'll know what's happening. And, yea, I heard that "WHO FREAKIN' CARES?!?" But I'm not hurt. Us journalist types are pretty thick skinned. Click here to read where this post came from!

Or else. Amy might have cement boots in YOUR size, too.

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Amy said...

Glad he got the prize. I will tell my people to pull out of the Pulitzer office now. No harm done and everyone is happy. :) The cement kimono is not something I like to dress people in, but I just do my job, y'know?

Terra said...

Jenny Jenny are totally cracking me up today! I love you for that! and in case it matters I second your nomination and would happily host your reception! If you need help with your acceptance speech let me know I have a 5 year old that would love to proof read it for you!

Unknown said...

I will hold a parade in Simpsonville,South Carolina in your honor.

Jo said...

and i will bake a lovely cake for the post parade celebration!!!

Judie said...

Forget about the Pulitzer stuff. That guy was a fraud. He gave me the same deal! Now that Arizona has allowed its citizens to carry concealed weapons, I pulled out my
.22 Derringer, and everyone scattered for cover.

Tgoette said...


If an you know sumbody who is lookin for a reel good proofreider please pass my name along to them.

The proofreidin bizness has been a little slow round these parts, so's I am ready to take on any jobs that come allong. I have had to lowre my prices to git more bizness but still no akshun.

Thanks fer the plug, Jenny.

I new I could cownt on you!


Pondside said...

I'm on way over to read the violet post - keep your back to the wall, Jenny - wear sunglasses everywhere and vary your schedule. And remember - we've got your back!

Dee said...

Your so funny...I love your journalistic escapades and all the witty commenters you attract. :-)

Busy Bee Suz said...

cement boots? say it isn't so!!!

Lourie said...

You are so funny! hahahaha/

Sue said...

So glad you added that last paragraph. I wasn't sure if you were confused in your writing...or I was confused in my reading!

Holly Lefevre said...

Cowboy boots, yes. Cement boots, no.
I love the way you wrote that - I can hear the voice in my head (not just voices, but the voice of Scoop!)