Thursday, September 9, 2010

Rainbow Summer School - Violet


Scoop. Scoop Matlock here.

I've been working at this rinky-dinky newspaper for ten years now into a six month gig.

I don't know why I'm still here. Apathy, I guess. Or maybe just waiting for a big story to break.

This place is so low on the news totem-pole that their idea of a big story is a dog sitting on the porch of a general store eating licorice.

I'm never going to win a Pulitzer Prize for investigative journalism working at this rag but I just keep wishing.

And you know what? Sometimes wishes do come true because this week a vicious crime wave hit our town. It hit us hard.

I stayed up all night writing the perfect headline to be certain that my story would be picked up by the Associated Press. Each word was finely honed to ensure my nomination for the prestigious Pulitzer nomination.

My editor held the presses and I turned my finely-oiled lead story in just as dawn broke.

Yea. It's a rinky-dink paper all tight.

The part-time proofreader must have been attending his English as a second language class. Now my chance of winning anything except a booby prize is shot. When I picked up the first copy of the issue hot off the press, there was my headline blaring away in 48 pt. Helvetica Bold.


CRIME WAVE SAYS HELLO TO MUDVILLE!

The end.

And, BTW, I heard that groan.

This stretch of the imagination was brought to you by the color violet from Rainbow Summer School. If you would like to read more 'normal' links just click here!

And if you want to know what happened to Scoop right after this story broke, just click here!

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37 comments:

Terra said...

why would I want to read more normal links? They aren't nearly as entertaining!

Diana said...

Ah the old dying newspaper! My daughter writes for them too. Worked for the AP. She changed careers and now is thinking of returning to journalism as she misses it so much!
I think your posts are perfectly normal, just like me! LOL!
Love Di ♥

RNSANE said...

Oh, Jenny, darling, your blog far surpasses any newspaper in terms of entertainment and delight.

Mumsy said...

Fantastic post, Jenny! Violet can do just that..

Cheryl said...

Oy vey! It's time for me to go bang my head against the wall to erase this shocking piece from my brain.

Wanda..... said...

Your post had the sound of the old "Dragnet" series on TV! Serious monotone voice just relaying the facts.
Loved it!

Kat said...

No groans here, this was priceless. Unfortunately, my post this week is definitely going to garner groans. It may cost me some followers as well LOL Kat

Mumsy said...

Wow! What a let down that would be after working so hard on a story and hoping for that Pulitzer. This was great! I am not groaning at all. Loved it! Hugs

Aunt Amelia's Attic said...

I... LOVE... THE... COLOR... VIOLET!

So there! -grin-

DesignTies said...

Hey, I'd read any newspaper that has 48pt Helvetica Bold headlines in VIOLET!! :-)

I'd kinda like to live in a town where a dog on a porch eating licorice is a big news item :-)

Kelly

Mama Zen said...

This is hilarious!

Allie said...

I thinki Violet is my favorite color next to Chartreuse and Teal, and right up there with Lipstick Red and Sky Blue .. great Jenny, now I am going to be playing in my crayons all day!

Linda @ A La Carte said...

Jenny you are the most entertaining blog on my list! Keep it up!! VIOLET!!!

Julienne said...

Jenny I also live in a town like that!

Alas we are not allowed to print in colour so I don't suppose we can copy your VIOLET headline!

NatureGirl said...

Hahaha...you crack me up! Keep up the good work...

Lourie said...

Hahahahaha! You reeled me in...hook line and sinker!

Amy said...

I read that whole thing in black and white (like the old tv shows.) It was awesome. And I am still impressed as ever. :)

Jo said...

can i groan again ??? for emphasis??? Jenny, i love your sense of haha ... thanks for the chuckle this morning and well, a whole bunch of other mornings ...

Cheryl D. said...

Haha! Another play of words color post! Very creative! You get an A+!

5thsister said...

I, for one, would LOVE to hear more about the Violet crime wave. Who is she and why would she do such evil things? Curious minds want to know!

Sue said...

heehee

I almost did something with "violent" this week.

=)

Pat @ Mille Fiori Favoriti said...

"...and the violet crimewave was a very grape diaster for our small town!" tee hee

I'm sure similar mistypes happen in small town newspapers everwhere!

So sorry to see summer school end - it was fun!

♥ Pat

Busy Bee Suz said...

YOU ARE SO FUNNY!!!!!!
xoxox
Suz

Tina said...

Giggling. Jenny does it again!

Theresa said...

You are nuts! But I love you anyway:) Enjoyed your story!

JDaniel4's Mom said...

What a great post! I love the reporter's picture!

H said...

Oh LOL!

I wasn't quite sure what to expect as I read down your post. Not this ending, that's for sure! Nicely done :)

Pondside said...

Keep 'em coming, Scoop!

Splendid Little Stars said...

Oh what fun!

Allie said...

Hi you!! Okay, my tangent this morning is, am I weird that I think plates should be round, just like tires? And I love Winter Frost White because it would be a beautiful way to show off my delicious looking foods! I do like the wine berries pattern and Addie would like the Hearthstone (square and dark) lol!!! Mom and daughter not seeign eye to eye, go figure!! Love you Jenny!!!

Viki said...

Groan!!!

Anna said...

Dear Jenny,
Violet=Violent!
I don't know if I should laugh or cry. I could be that good-for-nothing proof-reader! I make spelling mistakes all the time. The horror of it!
Hugs,
Anna
Anna's Rainbow Violet

Read my poem for Mrs. Nesbitt, when you have the time:
Anna's H-word-abcWed

Betty (picture circa 1951) said...

That's how I would probably spell it, so I didn't notice anything wrong. :) Thank God for spell check. I didn't realize how bad my spelling was until spell check would either catch my mistake or not even recognize the word and have no suggestions. You had me laughing.

Jingle said...

fabulous!

Jingle said...

Please feel free to take the awards in the post , share each award with 1 to 10 friends,

Awards 4 u

Happy Friday!
Happy September!

Personalized Sketches and Sentiments said...

haha!!! (oh! Of course, I am not laughing at good ole Scoop!) ...Actually, I am wee bit slow here...and I didnt get that VIOLET was supposed to be VioleNt, until I read Anna's comment! So NOW I am groaning..at my "slowNess" to pick up the error! haha)

Blessings & Aloha!
And thank you soooo much for sharing your cousin's awesome cottage of doors :o)

Melinda Cornish said...

the world needs more characters....I am happy to say that you are one of them!