Friday, June 17, 2011

An embarrassing accounting...


A few weeks ago Mr. Jenny told me he wanted me to go to the annual accountants meeting with him.

I whined. "Why do I have to go? I don't wanna go?"

And Mr. Jenny told me in an authorative voice, "You will go, woman!"

Okay, technically he didn't say that. He saying something like, "You've been working with these people on the phone for awhile now and I think it's a good idea for you to meet them."

I whined some more.

On Tuesday I tried to wiggle out of it. Seriously. I had a long list of wayyyy better things to do. I'm not sure what they were, but anything sounded better than listening to people talk about ACCOUNTING!

I see you nodding your head in agreement. Yeah. But where were you when I needed an ally to avoid going in the first place.


I got in the car.

I griped for awhile.

I whined for awhile.

And finally I just shut up, because it seemed like Mr. Jenny could care less about my obvious emotional distress over potential boredom.

But when we got to the office the two women we work with were super nice and friendly and I took my legal pad in with me so I could doodle while they talked.

Don't look appalled, please. I kept the tablet up at an angle and looked studious so everyone thought I was just taking notes.

Clever me.

The end.


Actually, it's not the end.

I wish it was.


While I was doodling away and looking intelligent and interested I got a cramp or a pinched nerve or my hip...

I get them sometimes...and there is always screaming involved.

Loud screaming.


I got one.

I jumped up out of the chair.

I started biting my hand to keep from screaming really loud.

I told Mr. Jenny, "OMG! OMG! HELP ME!" and began hobbling out of the room as quickly as I could go.

Mr. Jenny (having had the joy and pleasure of experiencing these intense and painful attacks before) joined me immediately.

I was still biting my hand and groaning and trying not to start screaming. I hobbled toward an open door. It was a supply closet. Mr. Jenny came in with my and closed the door while I kind of flayed about gasping and trying not to make too much noise until the pain finally passed.



So, after a few minutes he said, "Are you okay?" and I nodded in exhaustion.

And he opened the door and I hobbled back out.

Our accountant and her assistant were standing in the open doorway of her office looking shocked.

They were speechless.

I hobbled by them and sat back down.

I picked up my legal pad.

I swear, their mouths were still open.

Mr. Jenny sat down and calmly said, "It's okay, she gets those sometimes."


Two days later I can now giggle about it, but at the time, I was so freakin' embarrassed.

They just kept looking at me.

"Ummm....I'm sorry," I said, "Sometimes I get these really bad cramps and ummm... it's all fine now...ummm..."

The assistant sort of ran out of the room and returned with some water. "Would you like some aspirin? Or something? Or..."

I waved her away with my hand, "Really, I'm just fine...let's just finish this up."

I tried doodling again but they were both watching me intently...waiting for another 'episode', I guess.

So I was forced to listen to talk of ammortization schedules and dumb stuff like that. WITHOUT DOODLING!

Finally, finally the meeting concluded and I got up carefully and kind of hobbled to the door of the suite of offices.

I swear, they still look worried.

Mr. Jenny held my arm and helped me up to the car.

And when we got in I told him, "I told you I didn't want to go!"

And Mr. Jenny, bless his heart, just answered quietly, "Okay, maybe next time you can just stay home."



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Unknown said...

Poor, poor dear. Hope you are all better now.

~✽Mumsy✽~ said...

I hope those cramps go away for good, and you never have to feel that way again..

Anonymous said...

I think the hobbling out sealed the deal.

LuLu Kellogg said...

Oh Honey...I know that must have been painful and terribly embarrassing. Mr. Jenny will know better than to make you go next time!


Terra said...

oh man! I wonder what causes those...I feel bad for you on many levels!

dawn said...


But you know what really grabbed me with your story!!

I do that!!!!

The start from the wayyyyy beginning thing. ha ha - when we're in a group, now my husband will whisper in my ear (just the short version dear). I can NOT share an event without every finite detail. You MUST know all!!

Ha ha ,, ,, that's funny

21 Wits said...

Oh Jenny so sad, and yes now a bit funny? I couldn't imagine having to go through that...and walking out of a broom closet to see them waiting....I get a much milder case (once in a while) in my 2nd and 3rd right toes, charlie-horses my hubby calls them...(yeah now I'll have to google that) usually when I need water...he brought me a bottle of Gatorade last night and it took them away immediately...I can only imagine that 100 times worse to grip what you went through.....but hey next time he'll probably go alone! Cool!

Paula ~ castleandcottagesigns said...

Oh that sounds so painful! I'd be afraid to go out for fear of it occuring! I hope it can get figured out and go away for you:)

Rachael West said...

On the bright side I'm sure you can get out of a whole lot more now with the threat of an on coming cramp attack in your back pocket :o)

Jeanie said...

Talking to accountants is a pain in the butt for me too....but it has never gotten quite that bad.

Susan Anderson said...

Now we know where Pearl got her crazy cramp from!


PS. Funny, funny, story Jenny!

Pondside said...

Big sympathy.
But I laughed too.....

Auntie sezzzzzz... said...

Best part is, Mr. Jenny learned a lesson.

Not all men do that, you know.

mub said...

Okay I confess, I giggled a little. That'll teach Mr Jenny not to listen to you!

Martijn gets cramps like that in his sleep and ends up screaming and waking me up... and since I'm so out of it it always takes me 5 minutes to figure out he's not really dying and I just need to help him walk it out.

Linda @ A La Carte said...

OMG...I am laughing but not at your pain dear Jenny...really not at your pain but at the descriptions of the look on the accountants faces! What a hoot! Now poor you the pain and believe me I get it...those sudden pains get you and screaming is the only option. Glad you are OK and well at least you won't have to go next time.

Willoughby said...

Yow! That sounds painful! I can't imagine what they thought you and Mr. Jenny were doing in the closet!

I hope you're feeling better today!

Deb said...

hope all is better now...I think I have a cramp in my side....laughing so hard...

Laena said...

that is too funny!

i mean, i'm really sorry about the pain. it sounds awful...

but that is too funny!

Ms. A said...

Jenny, I know that pain and sympathize! I get it frequently, when I step up, into the passenger side of our small SUV. In my right hip. Gawd it hurts!!!

noexcuses said...

What a funny story! I can't imagine the pain you went through, but I'm glad that it isn't constant. I love the closet - I can just see the two of you coming out and seeing the others standing there, watching!

Thanks for sharing. Hope you don't get another cramp soon!

cj Schlottman said...

Oh, Jenny,

You can't make that kind of stuff up, and the reality of it just makes it funny as heck. You made the whole thing so visual, and it played out in my head like a sit-com!

Yes, Ma'am, Ms. Jenny, you do have a way with words.


PS - I'm really sorry you were in so much pain.

Shay said...

I'm laughing so hard here Im about to bust something. I'm so sorry you were in pain but the way you tell stories is just too funny!

(I bet the accountant type people re-told the story that night at home but it wasnt half as funny as the way you told it )

PS are you sure you didnt fake the cramp so you can get out of the next accountant trip?

Ames said...

Is that sort of kinda like me telling my dad if you make me eat breaded tomatoes it will make me throw up? Then I did.

...uhhh...sorry....I'm back.

I was just remembering what happened when someone made me do something I didn't want to do. I am sorry you has a major cramp~zure (kind of like an intense seizure). Perhaps next time you could throw up. :) Hugs. ~Ames

La said...

Oh Jenny, you poor thing. I hope you are moving about more comfortably now.

Esther Joy said...

How funny! But seriously, I feel your pain! I hope you don't suffer from those very often.

Bonnie said...

Oh Jenny, I'm so sorry, but I can see where you could laugh about it now!

What a day.. accounting AND cramps! ouch, glad you are better now.

w said...

so lemme get this straight.

you were in a supply closet with your husband making breathy noises. and you came out hobbling...

i get those sometimes, too.

Jayne Martin said...

Nothing passive aggressive about that. ;)

Bits-n-Pieces said...

That'll show him! ...making you go to a dumb meeting..what was he thinking? ...maybe next time he'll think twice!!
(glad you are ok, tho!)

Lourie said...

I was waiting for them to hand you your doodle pad back to you. hahaha.

Amy said...

:) At least now you have a way out of all future meetings, right?

J said...

I embarrass myself just about everyday with something or other, so I feel your pain.

No fun.

But your account of anything is usually just so funny. You put a smile on my face tonight. :)