Sunday, June 19, 2011

Sundays with Steve - We were way cool, Dude

These Sunday's segments are written by my husband, Mr. Jenny. Here's what he has to say about his posts:

I’ve been writing these weekly stories about life in Northern Idaho, as a youngster and as growing into a young man, primarily for our family. And I'm delighted to share them with you. Just between us, I’m anticipating being cranky when some whipper-snapper who may not even be born yet harasses me in 30 years or so with 'Grandpa, tell me about when you were a boy.' That will probably be after the mad cow disease has set in and erased whatever memory is left. So these are the not-so-dramatic adventures of a Baby Boomer in the 1950s, 60s and 70s.

We were way cool, Dude

Every generation has both its language and its cultural peculiarities. Except ours of course. That we were groovy and cool cats, that we embraced rock & roll with loud nonsensical music, all of that drove the prior generations a bit crazy. We never understood the generational push-back much, as our language and music were all perfectly normal and acceptable to us.

I asked my father one day why his radio station wouldn’t play a particular record. His was a small town radio station in the days before FM, where there were just two stations serving our area. I heard the disc jockey Gerry Geht on the air that afternoon answer a call-in request with, “I’m sorry, we can’t play that record.” My farther wasn’t much better than the radio disc jockey, “We just can’t,” he said, with a ‘Don’t ask any more questions’ tone to it. I suspect it was one of those generational things, a song perfectly acceptable to us developing Baby Boomers in 1963, but quite offensive to the Greatest Generation.

The Beetles hit our generation hard, of course, and the night they debuted in the U.S. on television’s Ed Sullivan Show was a watershed event, although nobody knew it just then. My brothers and I grinned ear-to-ear that night listening and watching our new heroes, while my parents grimaced in the background. Chuck Berry had laid the ground work, the Beetles, the Who, the Monkeys, the Motown groups, and hundreds of others, were embraced by our generation, and defined our generation for decades.


Language and culture changes with each year, and with each generation. Every year some words are added into the world’s dictionaries (although I don’t recall ever hearing of any words being retired from the dictionaries).

I am a Baby Boomer, born in the 1946 – 1960 range. We were a progressive group, we were told, that embraced hippies, Janis Joplin, and free love. We were tolerant, we were free thinkers who threw polite society’s rules to the wind, and we would change the world. We did. We shocked our parents, and we shocked the world in the 1960s and 1970s when we forced the end to a war, forced a president to retire, another to resign, we forced a society to integrate, and we partook in Woodstock and the Height- Ashbury. Then we settled into our lives and for the most part, we have lived by society’s rules and orders ever since.


I remember one of my best friends, Fritz Streiff, arguing with my father in the kitchen one afternoon, Fritz and I were both high school juniors, and he was discussing, calmly, with the former Army Colonel the merits of marijuana. I was mortified that Fritz would talk about such sensitive generational topics, that my father would intellectually engage him in that conversation, and above all, that Fritz admitted to using such things in our here-to-for innocent small town. Fritz was a pretty interesting character, a life-long best friend who went off to Harvard for college, then to Paris for a post-grad cooking school, back to Boston for a few years with Julia Child, and then to the San Francisco area where he still is today, operating a French restaurant. I never did see those illicit drugs in our town in those years, and I suspect Fritz’s admissions were mostly bravado.

A conversation with the Greatest Generation about illicit drugs was on the same “never mention” list as sex and fast women, underage drinking, or the embedded racism against Indians in our town. They were the “don’t ask, don’t tell,” topics of the generation, the elephants in the room that were never mentioned in polite society. All of those topics were addressed head-on in a few years, but at that time they were still untouchable.

As a free thinking Baby Boomer, I can tell you when my open mind started to close: Rap music. I’m sorry world, I hated it from the first “tune”, and I still do, even though some cross-over into popular music can be interesting.

Language is such a funny thing, don’t you think, Dude? Dude? What the hell is a dude? Where did that come from?

There are other pieces of language that have crept into popular use that I just don’t understand, really, some phraseology that just has me clueless.

One of our kids started using a phrase “my bad” a number of years ago. My bad? What does that mean? Really, what in the world is that? Several of the kids now utter that on occasion. I looked up a definition of “my bad”:

“A way of admitting a mistake, and apologizing for that mistake, without actually apologizing. ‘I did something bad, and I recognize that I did something bad, but there is nothing that can be done for it now, and there is technically no reason to apologize for that error, so let's just assume that I won't do it again, get over it, and move on with our lives.’ n.) A combination of an apology and a dismissal. Basically, saying "oh yeah, I did that, but I don't care". A grammatically incorrect way of acknowledging (facetiously) a wrongdoing. The terrible grammar tends to drive literate people up the wall in absolute irritation.”


Language changes with time and the aging of the generations, and the cultural impacts each embraces and integrates. We had our Beetles, our Motown, and our civil rights movements. Our kids have ‘my bad’.


I was quite surprised not too long ago when a 72-year old worker at our company made an error, and quickly said, “Oh! My bad.”


I instantly responded with my true reaction when I hear that phrase: “It’s not my bad, it’s my stupid.”


I guess my days of having an open and tolerant mind, my days as a free thinker, are now firmly closed. My bad.

(c) 2010 Stephen J. Matlock
This publication is the exclusive property of Stephen J. Matlock and is protected
under the US Copyright Act of 1976 and all other applicable international, federal, state and local laws. The contents of this post/story may not be reproduced as a whole or in part, by any means whatsoever, without consent of the author, Stephen J. Matlock. All rights reserved.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Saturday Centus - ...within the stone...

Jenny Matlock
Welcome to week fifty-nine of Saturday Centus.

Good morning! One of our Centusians volunteered a very intriquing prompt this week.

Jeff at Tennessee Mudbug came up with:

"...within the stone..."

We will use our usual 100 word count with this prompt. You can use these three words PLUS up to an additional 100 words to tell your story in any style you choose. The only restriction is that your post must be PG!

And please try to visit as many of the other links as possible. If you get a chance, perhaps you can visit the last five or so from last weeks challenge as well.

Please display link button or just a hyper-link back to Saturday Centus. Be careful to link your SC URL to the Linky and not just link to your main blog.

Please e-mail me directly with ???'s or ask your question in a comment and I will do my best to get back to you as soon as possible.

Feel free to link up anytime between now and next Saturday! And thanks Jeff. This one looks fun!

One small warning. The linky tools was really odd this week. If you have trouble linking just shoot me an e-mail and I'll look at it first thing in the morning. Thanks! jennymatlock at cox dot net

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Friday, June 17, 2011

An embarrassing accounting...

So...

A few weeks ago Mr. Jenny told me he wanted me to go to the annual accountants meeting with him.

I whined. "Why do I have to go? I don't wanna go?"

And Mr. Jenny told me in an authorative voice, "You will go, woman!"

Okay, technically he didn't say that. He saying something like, "You've been working with these people on the phone for awhile now and I think it's a good idea for you to meet them."

I whined some more.

On Tuesday I tried to wiggle out of it. Seriously. I had a long list of wayyyy better things to do. I'm not sure what they were, but anything sounded better than listening to people talk about ACCOUNTING!

I see you nodding your head in agreement. Yeah. But where were you when I needed an ally to avoid going in the first place.

However...

I got in the car.

I griped for awhile.

I whined for awhile.

And finally I just shut up, because it seemed like Mr. Jenny could care less about my obvious emotional distress over potential boredom.

But when we got to the office the two women we work with were super nice and friendly and I took my legal pad in with me so I could doodle while they talked.

Don't look appalled, please. I kept the tablet up at an angle and looked studious so everyone thought I was just taking notes.

Clever me.

The end.

Darn.

Actually, it's not the end.

I wish it was.

Because...

While I was doodling away and looking intelligent and interested I got a cramp or a pinched nerve or something...in my hip...

I get them sometimes...and there is always screaming involved.

Loud screaming.

So...

I got one.

I jumped up out of the chair.

I started biting my hand to keep from screaming really loud.


I told Mr. Jenny, "OMG! OMG! HELP ME!" and began hobbling out of the room as quickly as I could go.

Mr. Jenny (having had the joy and pleasure of experiencing these intense and painful attacks before) joined me immediately.

I was still biting my hand and groaning and trying not to start screaming. I hobbled toward an open door. It was a supply closet. Mr. Jenny came in with my and closed the door while I kind of flayed about gasping and trying not to make too much noise until the pain finally passed.

Yeah.

Ummm...

So, after a few minutes he said, "Are you okay?" and I nodded in exhaustion.

And he opened the door and I hobbled back out.

Our accountant and her assistant were standing in the open doorway of her office looking shocked.

They were speechless.

I hobbled by them and sat back down.

I picked up my legal pad.

I swear, their mouths were still open.

Mr. Jenny sat down and calmly said, "It's okay, she gets those sometimes."

Seriously.


Two days later I can now giggle about it, but at the time, I was so freakin' embarrassed.

They just kept looking at me.

"Ummm....I'm sorry," I said, "Sometimes I get these really bad cramps and ummm... it's all fine now...ummm..."

The assistant sort of ran out of the room and returned with some water. "Would you like some aspirin? Or something? Or..."

I waved her away with my hand, "Really, I'm just fine...let's just finish this up."

I tried doodling again but they were both watching me intently...waiting for another 'episode', I guess.

So I was forced to listen to talk of ammortization schedules and dumb stuff like that. WITHOUT DOODLING!

Finally, finally the meeting concluded and I got up carefully and kind of hobbled to the door of the suite of offices.

I swear, they still look worried.

Mr. Jenny held my arm and helped me up to the car.

And when we got in I told him, "I told you I didn't want to go!"

And Mr. Jenny, bless his heart, just answered quietly, "Okay, maybe next time you can just stay home."

Sigh...

PS. HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALLIE!

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Thursday, June 16, 2011

I is for Imagination


“There is a space between man's imagination and man's attainment that may only be traversed by his longing.”

Kahlil Gibran

This quotation was brought to you by Alphabe-Thursday's letter "I". To see other I links, just click here now.


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Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Alphabe-Thursday's Letter I


Good morning class. Welcome to round three of Alphabe-Thursday! Today we will be studying the interesting letter:


Please link directly to your Alphabe-Thursday URL (if you don't know how to do this let me know!) and please continue to visit the five links before and after your link and leave a comment. Minimum of 10 links visited please. You can visit more if you like, of course.

I also want to let you know that each week I visit every blog. If it appears I haven't visited your blog by the following Thursday morning, please let me know!

If you have any difficulties with your link, please make sure to include the number of the link when you e-mail me. It is really difficult for me to find you easily otherwise.

If you have any questions about Alphabe-Thursday or problems doing your link just post it in a comment or send me an e-mail. I'll do my best to help you as quickly as I can.

The McLinkey will be live from 1:00 pm MST time Wednesday afternoon in an effort to assist our lovely "friends across the pond" and continue through 10:00 am MST time Friday morning!

And remember.... link back to this post, you need to be registered as a follower of my blog, PG posts only, and you must visit at least 10 other posts...perhaps consider starting from the last posts and work backwards. The links will stay live after the final post deadline has passed so you can even wait and visit over the weekend or whenever you have more time.

Please don't be intimidated. You can link your post now, class:

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Graduation Day

The bright blue and white plastic bag has been on the bottom shelf in my closet for over 3 ½ years now.

I’m astonished that so much time has elapsed since I put it there.

The slick plastic is dusty beneath my fingers. I don’t even know if I’ve moved this precious package since it was carefully stashed on that shelf for safe keeping.

I carry it to the table in my office. I have sealed this little plastic wrapped package with clear packing tape. I can’t recall now why I did that, but maybe I figured tightly sealing the bag would keep the memories safe and deter against unknown disasters.

The tape makes a ripping noise as I pull it away, and then I reach carefully inside and pull out a stack of six hardbound books.

The covers are shiny and perfect. Their glossy white covers are happy with bright blue, pink, yellow, purple and orange.


I open each book carefully, looking for the one I need today.

Ah. Here is the right one.

I slide the other five books back into the bag for later.

One of my tears splash onto the cover and I quickly wipe it away. I am as careful with this book as a newborn baby…or a piece of fragile, perfect crystal. It is a treasure and cannot be replaced.

I go to the special box in my office closet and dig through some photos I have stored there waiting for this moment. Each one is slippery under my hand…each one is a memory that pierces my soul.

I put the photo inside the book and then wrap the book carefully in paper suitable for a graduation day. The wrapping is easy. The note to accompany the gift-wrapped book is hard.

How do I write this? How do I tell this young man that before his Grandmother died a horrible death of lung cancer, I sat with her as she carefully and shakily wrote inside these six books…a book for each grandchild…a book for six graduation days she would not see.

Do I tell him how she cried, knowing she would miss this big milestone in his life…and all the milestones that would come after she was gone?

It seems like just a short time ago that I visited my dear friend for this reason…to capture moments for grandchildren that would grieve forever the loss of their Grandmother…their friend, confidant and cheerleader.

How can it possibly be almost four years since she’s been gone?

When I hold this book, I remember her determined face as she worked so hard to inscribe her feelings for each child. I remember sitting with the Grandson this book is going to be mailed to as I recorded him singing “Amazing Grace” for a funeral that was happening way to soon for a delightful woman dying way to young. I remember my friend’s soft voice telling me, “I’m not afraid, I just don’t want to leave my Grandchildren.”


It is hard to capture all this in a note to accompany this priceless gift.

So I think I won’t even try.

I will box this book up carefully, and send it certified mail to a young man whose graduation announcement shows both his Senior picture and a picture of him with his beloved Grandmother.

And I hope when he opens it, he will feel her love wrap around him. I hope when he reads the words she wrote in her weak and shaky hand-writing he will know without a doubt how very much his Grandmother loved him. And I hope it gives him some small comfort to know that as they call his name at the Graduation ceremony, his Grandmother is cheering really loudly in Heaven.

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Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Story-Time Tuesday - Living Fiction

Jenny Matlock
If you missed where this story started just click here to read it or simply click on the Story-Time Tuesday link at the top of my blog to take you to previous chapters.

Living Fiction - Chapter 40

Here's where Chapter 39 left you.

He. Was. Dead. Dead as in ‘gone’. Dead as in ‘deceased’. Dead as in … ‘dead’.

When does that stop? When does that impulse to talk to dead people go away?

And, though my daughter could quote Ghandi, I hadn’t realized she was also skilled in reading minds, or maybe I had just voiced my thoughts aloud, because she answered me. “Never? I think never, Mom. I still call him up to tell him things.”

Darn! Darn, darn, darn! This is exactly why I hadn’t wanted to do a ‘free’ conversation with my daughter. She was crying. I’d upset her.

I tried making a pathetic joke to lighten the mood. “Jessie, stop the merry-go-round. I need to get off! My butt is freezing from sitting on this metal.” My attempt at humor was pathetic. Weak and useless, just like me.


AND NOW, CHAPTER 40 CONTINUES...

Jessie shivered. “My butt’s frozen, too, Mom. Let’s go home, but we’re not done with this conversation.”

“We’ll see about that,” I thought to myself as I put Edgar back on his leash.

While we walked back to the house, we didn’t talk at all. Dreading the continuation of our conversation, I might have walked slowly, had it not been for Edgar dragging us along, anxious to get to his food bowl and then his bed .

Upon entering into the warm kitchen, I threw my coat onto the pegs by the door and turned the tea kettle on. “Hungry?” I asked Jessie. She shook her head, but Edgar barked a loud and excited, ‘yes’.
I puttered around a bit, waiting for the kettle to whistle. I dug through the pantry, looking for some cookies to put on a plate. I fussed a bit, finding some cloth napkins that looked good with my ‘From Texas with Love’ mug and the pretty cobalt blue cup and saucer Jessie had always liked. Finally, when I couldn’t think of another delaying tactic, I picked up the tray and joined Jessie in the living room. She had started a fire and it was just beginning to fill the space with cozy warmth.

I set the tray on the coffee table and settled myself on the couch.

We sipped. And munched a cookie or two.

Finally, I broke the silence by telling her, “I’m impressed that you knew that quote, Jessie. I didn’t even know you liked stuff like that.”

“Stuff like what, Mom? Philosophy? Things to help me through this horrible time we’re going through?”

“Stuff like quotes, I mean. I guess. I guess that’s what I mean. I just think it’s neat. And interesting,” and it’s just something I didn’t really know about you.

She paused. “Do you know what my favorite quote is, Mom?”

I shook my head, fearful she was going to use the ‘tangled web’ quote on me.

Instead she closed her eyes, clasped her hands in her lap, and said, “Let go of the past and go for the future. Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you imagined.”

Wow! Would you look at that?! My daughter can quote other people, too. “Say it again, Jess. Who said that? I mean before you did just now? Originally, I mean.”

Jessie repeated the quote and then told me, “It was Henry David Thoreau, Mom. I have it written on a piece of paper on my bathroom mirror. I read it to myself every morning. I know Daddy would have told me to do it, if he would have had time. I can hear him saying it. Can you? It sounds like something he would say, doesn’t it?”

I thought about Jessie’s words. I wondered, “Is it what he would have wanted us to do? Would he have wanted us to let go?” The thing is, I had been living the life I’d imagined. I didn’t know how to imagine any other life. This was all I knew, all I’d ever known. Being a wife. Being a mother. Always being linked to my family. And now it felt like I wasn’t connected to anyone anymore. Oh sure, I was still a mother…but my kids were grown and gone.

Jessie looked at me intently. “Mom, tell me what you’re thinking. You need to talk about this.”

I shook my head. No, I didn’t need to talk about ‘this’, thank you very much. No, I didn’t want to discuss this anymore. I wanted to be alone. I wanted to order a pizza. I still remembered the number. I wanted to watch TV. I did NOT want to talk about ‘this’ anymore…now…or ever.

“At least tell me this, Mom. Did you go even go to grief counseling? You nagged and nagged me until I went. Did you?”

That girl is sharp. She doesn’t miss a thing. Somehow she took my unspoken words as a confession of guilt.

“So then,” she continued in that lawyerly voice of hers, “I guess it’s safe to say that you didn’t, technically, ever LEAD the grief support group.”

I was silent. It wasn’t like she’d asked me a question, right?

“So then, technically, you totally LIED about all that.”

I sighed. “Jessie, I don’t think you can understand this, but, technically, I didn’t lie. I just told you an …ummm… alternative truth, so you wouldn’t be upset.”

Apparently, it was Jessie’s turn for quiet, because she only raised her eyebrow and continued to look at me. Why the CIA has not recruited this girl to interrogate terrorists is totally beyond me. She looked at me some more. She raised her eyebrow higher. I wanted to confess everything. But I couldn’t. She was my daughter and I was protecting her.

“Mom, you’re really starting to tick me off here. How am I supposed to help you when you won’t let me? I’m not going to pretend that everything is fine with you. Obviously it isn’t. Talk to me. Just…please…talk to me. Do you talk to anyone about this? Mom? I want to help you. Pretend, I’m someone else then. Pretend, I’m not your daughter. That I’m a friend. Mom! Talk to me! You talked to Millie about this stuff, why won’t you talk to me?”

Huffily I replied, “The only reason I talked to Millie is because I was drunk. Okay. Now you know. I was drunk and it made me sick and then when…”

I gasped and held my hand up to my mouth, but it was too late. Now my daughter knew I had been drinking. Excessively. It was futile to tell her it had only been that one time. Now she knew what a failure I was. At everything. Everything.

I knew how disgusted she was with me when she jumped up from the couch. I knew this whole stupid ‘free’ conversation idea as … ummm… stupid. Now my daughter knew I was a liar and a lush!

I heard her slamming around in the kitchen. I heard her tell Edgar to mind his own business. She must have been really furious at me. I’d done a little cabinet slamming in my day when I’d been mad at her father, but I didn’t think she’d ever seen me do it. Another failure.

She came back into the living room a few seconds later with her jacket on and her car keys in her hand. “I’ll be back!” she said authoritatively. “You! Stay right there.”

What was this? What was she doing? I was confused. And ashamed. I was too tired to even cry. I just sat on the couch and watched the fire crackle and hiss. I looked weakly around for the remote, but it was way over on the far edge of the coffee table and I was just too exhausted to even reach that far for it. I called for Edgar to keep me company. He was either asleep or annoyed, too, because he couldn’t be bothered to sit on the couch with a lying loser. Yeah. I was feeling sorry for myself. A little. Okay, yeah. I was feeling sorry for myself A LOT! But, seriously. I ask you, if you can’t feel sorry for yourself when your husband is … … … DEAD, your son is in prison, your daughter is so angry she’s never going to talk to you again and the dog you’re dog-sitting can’t even be bothered to sit on the couch with you, then WHEN is it okay to feel sorry for yourself? Never? I think not. I think when all those things have happened to you, it’s perfectly okay to mope around and …

I heard the kitchen door open.

Maybe it was a murderer. Thank God! Maybe it was someone who was going to rob me and then kill me. Actually, I was hoping they were going to kill me and THEN rob me, so I didn’t have to worry about trying to stop them.

Maybe they would kill me quickly and then I’d be done suffering and the headlines would read, “Brave Woman Murdered…”

As I was fabricating the rest of the headline, I looked up. Sadly, there was no murderer ready to put me out of my misery in the doorway. There was only my daughter. In one hand she held a large brown paper sack and in the other hand was a tall, skinny bottle.

“Pick your poison, Mom. Tequila or beer? If the only way to get you to talk is to get you drunk then, hey, I’m along for the ride.”

Tequila? Beer?

My heart gave a little lurch.

To be continued on Tuesday, June 21.

(c) 2010 Jennifer R. Matlock
This publication is the exclusive property of Jennifer R. Matlock and is protected
under the US Copyright Act of 1976 and all other applicable international, federal, state and local laws. The contents of this post/story may not be reproduced as a whole or in part, by any means whatsoever, without consent of the author, Jennifer R. Matlock. All rights reserved.

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