Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Alphabe-Thursday Letter X


Good morning class.

Welcome to round eight of Alphabe-Thursday! Today we will be studying the X-cellent letter:


Please link directly to your Alphabe-Thursday URL (if you don't know how to do this let me know!) and please continue to visit the five links before and after your link and leave a comment. Minimum of 10 links visited please. You can visit more if you like, of course, and please try very hard to visit the blogs that visit you for this meme.

If you have any difficulties with your link, please make sure to include the number of the link when you e-mail me. It is really difficult for me to find you easily otherwise.

If you have any questions about Alphabe-Thursday or problems doing your link just post it in a comment or send me an e-mail. I'll do my best to help you as quickly as I can.

The McLinkey will be live from 1:00 pm MST time Wednesday afternoon in an effort to assist our lovely "friends across the pond" and continue through 10:00 am MST time Friday morning!

And remember.... link back to this post, you need to be registered as a follower of my blog, PG posts only, and you must visit at least 10 other posts...perhaps consider starting from the last posts and work backwards. The links will stay live after the final post deadline has passed so you can even wait and visit over the weekend or whenever you have more time.

Please link your X-citing X post now!
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Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Alphabe-Thursday Letter W


Good morning class.

Welcome to round eight of Alphabe-Thursday! Today we will be studying the wonderful letter:



Please link directly to your Alphabe-Thursday URL (if you don't know how to do this let me know!) and please continue to visit the five links before and after your link and leave a comment. Minimum of 10 links visited please. You can visit more if you like, of course, and please try very hard to visit the blogs that visit you for this meme.

If you have any difficulties with your link, please make sure to include the number of the link when you e-mail me. It is really difficult for me to find you easily otherwise.

If you have any questions about Alphabe-Thursday or problems doing your link just post it in a comment or send me an e-mail. I'll do my best to help you as quickly as I can.

The McLinkey will be live from 1:00 pm MST time Wednesday afternoon in an effort to assist our lovely "friends across the pond" and continue through 10:00 am MST time Friday morning!

And remember.... link back to this post, you need to be registered as a follower of my blog, PG posts only, and you must visit at least 10 other posts...perhaps consider starting from the last posts and work backwards. The links will stay live after the final post deadline has passed so you can even wait and visit over the weekend or whenever you have more time.

Please link your witty letter W post now!

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Tuesday, April 22, 2014

I was so angry at myself...

...I couldn't do it.

I tried deep breathing.

I tried affirmative, joyful thinking.

I tried pep talking myself.

But in the end, I pushed the panic button and lost it.


Badly.

I felt like an idiot.

The technician and Mr. Jenny kept reassuring me, but I couldn't stop crying.

After all.

I've had MRI's before.

This time was different, though.

The last testing I did was a few years ago and  I was pretty calm if I do say so myself.

The technician told me to be totally still and warned me of the clicking and clanking.

She told me to be still, and I was.

Really.

So,  I was surprised when after a few seconds she stopped the scan and checked the machine.

"Hmmmm," she said.   "Okay, let's start again."

She did.

And stopped again.

And checked the machine again.

"Remember to be still, no motion," she cautioned me sternly.   I nodded my head and agreed.

The third time she stopped the machine and literally  stomped into the room.

"Are you humming?" she asked in a very mean voice.

"Ummm....yes," I replied meekly.   "I'm not moving, though.   Really.  I am holding very, very still.  I'm just humming quietly.   You didn't say I couldn't hum."

She glared at me.

It was scary.

"NO HUMMING!" she said.   "NO MOVING, NO WIGGLING, AND NO HUMMING!"

"Geez," I apologized meekly.   "You didn't say I couldn't hum."

She huffily started the exam again and it went okay.

And I did it.

And it wasn't that bad even though I really, really wanted to hum.

Yesterday, though, I knew NOT to hum.

And I didn't.

But I freaked out and I felt like a complete idiot.  When the table slid into the machine my arms and hands were trembling.   I felt like I was choking.

"Can you control that shaking?" the technician asked.

"Ummm...no..." I said hesitantly.   I didn't want to get yelled at like the humming incident.   "That's partly why I'm having these tests."

After the third try and the pushing the panic button, she told me it wasn't going to work.

"I'll try harder," I told her. 

"No," she said sternly.

Her face softened when I burst into tears.

"I'll try harder to hold still, really," I said again.

She refused and said it just wasn't going to work without sedation.   She did give me Kleenex, though, so I think she wasn't really mad at me.

I'm ashamed to tell you how hard I cried.

I was really, really hoping for answers this week.

I'm not giving up...

There are four more diagnostic tests scheduled this over the next few days, but to be honest with you, I'm exhausted.

Even 'it could be worse' isn't helping right now.

Mr. Jenny took me home and put me to bed and I still couldn't stop crying.

I'm tired of feeling lousy.

I have stuff I want to do.

I'm tired of feeling lousy.

I miss myself.

I'm tired of feeling lousy.

I miss writing.

And laughing.

And humming.

(although possibly not in the MRI machine)

I am reminded, again, of how lonely chronic illness is.

Seriously.

If you know anyone with chronic illness, call them.   Text them.  Let them know they're not forgotten.

I think we all shy away from that contact because we don't know what to say.

We don't know if we should intrude on someone's pain.

Seriously.

Intrude.

Intrude with no expectations.

Intrude and tell them you're thinking of them.

Intrude and send them a knock-knock joke.
 
Go ahead and do it right now.
 
I'll wait.

Seriously.

Chronic illness is not contagious.

Well...perhaps sometimes it is and in those cases be sure not to kiss the sick person on the lips...

But try for a moment to put 'not knowing what to say' aside and say something.

Anything.

And for those people that continue to bless me with caring.

Thank you.

Sincerely.

And tearfully.

And gratefully.

My speaking voice works only sporadically now, so I'm sorry to be so quiet.

But I'm going to get better.

And then I'll talk your ear off.

And, by Heavens, I'm also going to hum like crazy.

And I'm going to make more of an effort to be a pinpoint of light in the overwhelming of an often dark world.

To start being more pinpointed even before I'm mended, though,  I'm offering a little piece of advice to all you women getting ready for MRI's.   I suspect that kegeling is also forbidden although I, technically, wouldn't confess to trying it during the testing.

Just sayin'.

And...

You're welcome.

Sigh.
 
 
Thank you Cyndie.   I've stopped crying now.  You are a blessing.


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Wednesday, April 16, 2014

What you see...

 ...is indeed..

...not always what you get.

A few days ago Mr. Jenny and I returned home from yet another frustrating and painful day of medical testing.

I was exhausted.

He was exhausted.

"I'm going to check my office," he informed me and wandered off that direction.

"I'm going to check the phone for Doctor call backs," I informed him and wandered off that direction.  I went to the phone, pulled my reading glasses off the top of my head...and then something really, really terrible happened.

A few seconds later I stood in his office doorway, shaking and crying like a crazy (or would that be crazier?) woman.

He jumped up from his office chair.

"What is it!???    Was there a message!???" 

I just kept crying.

He went and got me water.

Finally I was able to gasp out, "I don't think I can take much more of this!  You're not going to believe it but NOW something is wrong with my vision, too!"

I choked down more water and kept crying.

"Okay.   Slow down.   We'll call the doctor.   Tell me what happened."

I shuddered.   He looked scared to death.

We are both seriously exhausted from all this.

Finally, in a shaky voice,  I said, "Okay.  I went to pick up the messages and all the sudden my vision went dark."

He was watching me quite intently.

He very kindly put his hands gently on my forearms.

And then Mr. Jenny smiled at me.

SMILED!  

SERIOUSLY!!!!!

That really, really ticked me off.

"You think this is funny?" I huffed.

"Kind of," he said as he lifted my reading glasses off my face.

He showed me my glasses.

"You left your sunglasses on top of your head instead of your regular reading glasses.   Your vision is fine."

Hmmm.

Hmmm.

Awkward.

"Is your vision dark now?" he asked me patiently.

Hmmm.

Hmmm.

Awkward.

Thank Heavens for sweet husbands who have the intelligence to recognize that sunglasses make vision go dark.

We are still cracking up over my mistake.

And yesterday Mr. Jenny asked if I thought I should mention the dark vision to the latest specialist.

I just gave him the stink-eye which he could see VERY clearly because it was NOT concealed under my sunglasses.

Sigh.

PS.   Bless you all for your cards and your lovely thoughts and e-mails.   We both so appreciate them.  It helps.  We're hoping for some answers this week.   I know a lot of icky things I DON"T have now.   Just waiting to see what is wrong.   Other than the dark vision that is.

Blush.

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Alphabe-Thursday Letter V


Good morning class.

Welcome to round eight of Alphabe-Thursday! Today we will be studying the very vivacious letter:


Please link directly to your Alphabe-Thursday URL (if you don't know how to do this let me know!) and please continue to visit the five links before and after your link and leave a comment. Minimum of 10 links visited please. You can visit more if you like, of course, and please try very hard to visit the blogs that visit you for this meme.

If you have any difficulties with your link, please make sure to include the number of the link when you e-mail me. It is really difficult for me to find you easily otherwise.

If you have any questions about Alphabe-Thursday or problems doing your link just post it in a comment or send me an e-mail. I'll do my best to help you as quickly as I can.

The McLinkey will be live from 1:00 pm MST time Wednesday afternoon in an effort to assist our lovely "friends across the pond" and continue through 10:00 am MST time Friday morning!

And remember.... link back to this post, you need to be registered as a follower of my blog, PG posts only, and you must visit at least 10 other posts...perhaps consider starting from the last posts and work backwards. The links will stay live after the final post deadline has passed so you can even wait and visit over the weekend or whenever you have more time.

Please link your vibrant letter now!
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Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Alphabe-Thursday Letter U


Good morning class.

Welcome to round eight of Alphabe-Thursday! Today we will be studying the understated letter:


Please link directly to your Alphabe-Thursday URL (if you don't know how to do this let me know!) and please continue to visit the five links before and after your link and leave a comment. Minimum of 10 links visited please. You can visit more if you like, of course, and please try very hard to visit the blogs that visit you for this meme.

If you have any difficulties with your link, please make sure to include the number of the link when you e-mail me. It is really difficult for me to find you easily otherwise.

If you have any questions about Alphabe-Thursday or problems doing your link just post it in a comment or send me an e-mail. I'll do my best to help you as quickly as I can.

The McLinkey will be live from 1:00 pm MST time Wednesday afternoon in an effort to assist our lovely "friends across the pond" and continue through 10:00 am MST time Friday morning!

And remember.... link back to this post, you need to be registered as a follower of my blog, PG posts only, and you must visit at least 10 other posts...perhaps consider starting from the last posts and work backwards. The links will stay live after the final post deadline has passed so you can even wait and visit over the weekend or whenever you have more time.

Please link your easy to understand post now!
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Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Alphabe-Thursday Letter T


Good morning class.

Welcome to round eight of Alphabe-Thursday! Today we will be studying the terribly terrific letter:



Please link directly to your Alphabe-Thursday URL (if you don't know how to do this let me know!) and please continue to visit the five links before and after your link and leave a comment. Minimum of 10 links visited please. You can visit more if you like, of course, and please try very hard to visit the blogs that visit you for this meme.

If you have any difficulties with your link, please make sure to include the number of the link when you e-mail me. It is really difficult for me to find you easily otherwise.

If you have any questions about Alphabe-Thursday or problems doing your link just post it in a comment or send me an e-mail. I'll do my best to help you as quickly as I can.

The McLinkey will be live from 1:00 pm MST time Wednesday afternoon in an effort to assist our lovely "friends across the pond" and continue through 10:00 am MST time Friday morning!

And remember.... link back to this post, you need to be registered as a follower of my blog, PG posts only, and you must visit at least 10 other posts...perhaps consider starting from the last posts and work backwards. The links will stay live after the final post deadline has passed so you can even wait and visit over the weekend or whenever you have more time.

Please link your tremendous link now!
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