Wednesday, June 30, 2010

X is for something you didn't know about me...

I am a very private person.

Hey, quit laughing.

It's true.

And it is hard for me to talk about this but I am desperate for something to use for my letter "X" post for Alphabe-Thursday, so I have no choice but to share this little story with you.

Some of you might know I was married before Mr. Jenny. What you might not know is that my first husband's last name was Papadopoulos.

My father was in the military and in my late teens he was stationed in Greece for several years.

There is a small US military installation right outside Xanthi where we lived from 1971-1974.

The whole region is absolutely lovely. Xanthi is the capital of the Xanthi Prefecture of the periphery of East Macedonia and Thrace and the original town dates back to 879 AD.
I have never spoken of this marriage to many people. It ended badly. Christos was a little too fond of the ouzo so after being married only a short time I fled the country and came to the US.

I will share one wedding picture with you...it took some time to find it...I thought I had destroyed them all...but...I am willing to do anything for the letter "X"...
It was not quite a Big Fat Greek Xanthi Wedding...

But this is a Big Fat Greek Xanthi Wedding lie...

OK.

And if you want to get technical...ummm.... yea...my Father was never stationed in Greece...and ummm....yea... I've never even been to Greece.... and ummm.... yea...I've never even swigged ouzo.

But I thought this was a little bit more exotic than using Xenia, Ohio (which, by the way, is the only city in the US that starts with the letter "X")

Hey...

Now don't be reciting the liar, liar pants on fire rhyme to me.

That is just plain cruel.

And...

I couldn't think of anything else to use for the letter "X".

Sincerely,
Jenny Papadopoulos Matlock

PS. This post is linked to Alphabe-Thursday's letter "X". Click here to visit the more... ummm.... truthful links.

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Alphabe-Thursday "X"

Good morning class! We're going to be working with a difficult letter this week class: This letter will be an x-cellent x-ample of using our intelligence to not cheat and find an easy solution to the letter "X"!

So that we can distribute comments a bit more evenly, if your first name starts with the letters A - L please start reading the odd posts first starting with link number 1.

If your first name starts with the letters M - Z please start reading the even posts first starting with link number 2.

I also want to let you know that each week I visit every blog. I noticed a blog today where my comment didn't show up. If it appears I haven't visited your blog by Sunday night, please let me know, because it is important to me to make sure you know I've visited you!

If you have any difficulties with your link please make sure to include the number of the link when you e-mail me. It is really difficult for me to find them otherwise.

If you have any questions about Alphabe-Thursday or problems doing your link just post it in a comment or send me an e-mail. I'll do my best to help you.

The McLinkey will be live from 6:00 pm MST time Wednesday night through 8:00 am MST time Friday morning!

And remember.... link back to this post, you need to be registered as a follower of my blog (since there are prizes involved and it makes my life easier that way), PG posts only, and try to visit all the other students according to the letter of your first name! The links will stay live after the final post deadline has passed so you can even wait and visit over the weekend or whenever you have more time.

Class is dismissed. You may mark your spot with "X" on the linky now!

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I have a new franchise idea!

Last November I wrote this post about a great idea for a new business franchise. It was a dough baby-sitting service venture that, to be candid, never quite got off the ground.

I don't understand why.

I even had sample advertising literature and everything. But now I have a new franchise idea that I know you're going to want to hear about.

I don't have any cool advertising stuff yet...

Because I don't actually start this venture until July 9.

But since we're friends and all, I wanted to give you a heads up about the possibility that may become available to you soon!

I am now, officially, a chicken sitter.

Yes! You heard me correctly.

For 2 1/2 weeks I am going to babysit our Granddaughter's pre-school teacher's five chickens.

Mr. Jenny, the Grands and I attended a comprehensive chicken sitting training yesterday afternoon at the teachers house.

There are five chickens. One of them is named Buffy. I only remember that because we were told Buffy is broody and may try to peck at us. Hmmm.... Good to know.

We have to give them food and water and collect their eggs. We are supposed to take them cut up grapes, organic popcorn and/or blueberries for little treats.

To be honest, Mr. Jenny was less than excited about this idea.

"Why are we watching these chickens again?" he asked me in a sulky voice.

I asked him, "Have you ever taken care of chickens before?"

And he replied, "ummm.... no....."

And then I said, "Well, that's why we are. Life is about doing different things and it will be good for the girls...and ...ummm... you like eggs, right?"

And then he said, "So...you babysit three days a week and the chickens need fed and watered 7 days a week and you are going to drive out here every morning to do this because why?"

And then I said, "Well, I think it would be a fun little business...you know? To be a chicken sitter..."

And he said, "Is this another ridiculous idea like the dough sitting franchise one?"

And, of course I lied and said "Geez, no, that was just plain dumb."

Hee, hee.

But, seriously, isn't it a great idea? I think there is a big need for chicken sitters. Everybody has chickens now. Well, everyone except me. And all those people with chickens have to go away some time, right? And who will watch the chickens when they do?

See how brilliant this idea is?

I'm telling ya....this is wayyyy better than the dough-sitting idea. That was just plain silliness.

I'll keep you posted on how it's going as soon as I get started.

And in the meantime...here's a picture to get you in the mood to start your own chicken sitting franchise! Squaaawwwkkkk! Squaaawwwwwccckkkkkk!!!!!!!!!

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Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Story-Time Tuesday Chapter 11

If you missed TALES FROM HOME - Chapter 10, just click here to read it.

Jenny Matlock

TALES FROM HOME - Chapter Eleven

The three girls jumped down the stone steps into the freshly laundered morning and began filling themselves with strawberries.

As soon as three little tummies were full, the sisters continued their planning.

“OK,” Julia said taking charge, “Riley, Morgan! Can you be in charge of finding food and getting water?”

Morgan immediately piped up “Remember that pile of metal buckets in the barn? We can use those to get water from the spring by the little pond.”

Riley shivered for a moment remembering the cob-webby corner of the barn with the garden tools. Thinking she might be able to trick Morgan into getting them out, she said, “There were garden tools in the corner of the barn we can use to clean up the garden.”

With these words, both younger sisters started to run off!

“Stay together!” Julia instructed, “And bring me a pail of water right away so I can start cleaning.”

Morgan stopped. “Aren’t you forgetting something, Julia?”

Julia thought for a second, “Noooo…ooo..oooo…”

“Are you sure?” asked Morgan.

“Yessssssss…I’m sure,” said Julia, thoughtfully.

But Morgan wouldn’t move, even when Riley shouted from the garden gate, “C’mon Morgan, hurry up!”

“Morgan, go get a bucket of water so I can start cleaning,” Julia tried again.

But Morgan stood stubbornly and then sassed back “You aren’t the boss of me AND I think you forgot to say the magic word!”

Julia sighed with frustration. “Fine Morgan. OK! Please go get a bucket of water so I can clean. Please. Please. PLEASE!”

“You don’t have to shout!” Morgan called over her shoulder as she ran to catch up with Riley.

Julia shook her head and climbed the stone steps back into the kitchen to look for cleaning supplies. The pans, jars and lanterns she had already discovered wouldn’t be much help. She peeked into the cabinet with the baby chipmunks and was promptly scolded by their mother. “Everybody wants to yell at me today,” muttered Julia as she continued her search.

Beneath the chipped, white enamel sink was a tattered red and white checkered curtain that matched the one above the window.

Julia carefully pushed it to the side and let out an excited squeek. The space beneath the sink was stacked high with scrub brushes, rags, and boxes of grayish looking flakes with Ivory Soap and Dreft on the outside. A stack of six bars of Castile soap leaned into one corner, two cans labeled Stove Black and several glass bottles labeled White Vinegar filled the rest of the space.

Julia was just getting ready to drag a chair over to continue exploring the upper cabinets when she spied a tall, skinny door beside the giant black stove. It looked like a perfect place to store a broom…and it was!

Not only was there a broom, but the narrow space inside the cabinet held a bucket and a mop along with a feather duster wedged into the corner. A colorful cascade of material on a hook inside the door caught Julia’s eye and she quickly discovered that the fabric was actually three aprons. Julia looked at each one carefully. Did she want to wear the happy pink apron printed in red cherries? Or maybe the light blue apron with brown and black and white chickens would make cleaning easier. Finally Julia picked a blue and white checked apron patterned in blue teakettles and white kittens.

She had just finished wrapping it around herself and tying a big bow with the apron strings when Riley and Morgan burst into the kitchen. Each of them carried a sloshing pail of water…Riley’s almost half full and Morgan’s with only an inch or two of water in the bottom.

“Julia! Riley tricked me and made me reach into the cobwebs to get…”

Riley immediately interrupted, “Quit tattling Morgan! A few spider webs never hurt anybody. Don’t be a baby!”

Just as Morgan’s lower lip started to tremble, Julia held out a hand to stop the argument. “Look what I found!” She proudly twirled around in her blue and white apron and then showed her sisters the other two she had found. “And look,” she said, proudly displaying the broom and the mop and all the cleaning supplies. “Maybe we should all clean together?”

The slamming of the back kitchen door was her answer as the two younger girls fled to the garden to begin their search for food.

The rest of the day was filled with hard work and discoveries. Morgan and Riley ran back and forth from the spring to the house carrying water for Julia. They filled a bucket half full of asparagus and peas. Each stone and plant they found was carefully cleared and the pile of weeds at the corner of the garden grew higher as the afternoon grew later.

Julia dumped some of the soap flakes into a bucket and scrubbed and scrubbed the stained, yellow counter-tops. She searched the upper cabinets and found plates and bowls. Blue-ish-green mason jars filled with knives, forks and spoons, a stack of blue speckled metal mugs and a sealed jar of salt were carefully brought down and placed on the clean, shining counters.

After calling for yet more buckets of water all three girls gathered around the dark red hand pump bolted to the counter beside the chipped, white enamel sink.

Julia told her sisters, “I know this is to get water and I’ve pumped and pumped this handle but nothing happens.” Riley dragged a chair over and climbed up to try it herself. Of course, Morgan had to see if she might have the magic touch, too, but no matter how hard or how quickly they moved the handle up and down, nothing happened.

Julia climbed up on the chair and looked down into the opening. “Maybe it’s blocked,” she said thoughtfully. “Let’s pour a bucket of water in there and see if anything comes out.” Riley handed up one of the half-full buckets and Julia carefully poured it in. No water came out. She tried pumping the metal handle again.

All three girls look puzzled. “Why would this pump be here unless it was for water,” all the girls wondered.

Since there was no more water in the buckets, the girls walked together down the stone steps into the golden late afternoon light. Julia gave a small gasp of surprise at how much work her younger sisters had done. She could see that this had been some kind of a garden once and now asparagus, strawberries and even peas could be seen in the rectangular beds edged with stones. Julia grabbed a few spears of asparagus and some peas as she walked by the partially full bucket of vegetables sitting on the stone step.

“I can’t believe you got so much done,” she told her sisters as they all walked together toward the spring. The crispy bites of asparagus tasted like springtime and the peas tasted like little bubbles of sweetness in her mouth. Julia couldn’t remember eating anything so wonderful in a long time.

At the spring all the girls laid on their bellies and lapped water like puppies until their thirst was quenched. Then the filled their buckets and walked back toward the happy little house. Morgan saw Mr. Cat sitting on the porch and ran off to play with him while Julia and Riley went back into the kitchen.

The girls pumped the handle some more and then dumped another bucket of water into the top of the pump. The girls heard a funny sound. “Pump harder, Riley!” Julia shouted and then she dumped the second bucket of water into the opening. As Riley continued to move the handle up and down, water finally came gushing out of the spout of the pump. It was a horrible orange color.

“Julia, my arm is tired! You pump now!” Riley shouted. And as Julia continued to move the handle up and down the water cleared and started pouring out sparkling and clear. “Grab one of those metal cups!” Julia said. Riley rinsed the cup out in the flow of water and took a big drink! “Julia! It tastes just like the spring water!” Julia stopped pumping and took a big gulp, “Oh Riley, it’s wonderful!”

Morgan wandered through the kitchen door, with blue eyes wide open and questioning. “Morgan, Morgan,” her sisters cried, “We have water! We have water in our kitchen!”


To be continued on Tuesday, July 6.

(c) 2010 Jennifer R. Matlock
This publication is the exclusive property of Jennifer R. Matlock and is protected
under the US Copyright Act of 1976 and all other applicable international, federal, state and local laws. The contents of this post/story may not be reproduced as a whole or in part, by any means whatsoever, without consent of the author, Jennifer R. Matlock. All rights reserved.

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Monday, June 28, 2010

I am technically in the correct range of normal…

Do you know how I know this?

Oh, it’s not because of Mr. Jenny’s reply to my questioning him carefully on this. Yesterday morning I woke up at 12:13 am and poked him awake. I didn’t think he would really care because he doesn’t go to bed until around 11:00 …so it’s not like he was really sound asleep or anything.

But during one of the two Birthday parties we had for our Grands this weekend someone (who shall remain nameless) told me that I wasn’t normal. OK, they didn’t say it exactly like that but I know it’s what they meant.

You know how you can tell someone is dissing you even if they don’t come right out and say it?

Sure you do. Like when someone says to you, “Are you wearing that?” You know they’re really saying, “You look like a moron, go change or I refuse to be seen in public with you.”

So I woke up Mr. Jenny and told him that the nameless person told me I wasn’t normal.

And he said, and I quote, “well, you’re not.”

OK, no beating around the bush with that one. He just came right and said it. Out loud. To me.

sniff, sniff

OK.

In the interest of this blog post I am going to continue through my pain and tell you how I know I am normal.

It’s about teeth. I have pretty nice teeth. Sure some of them are kind of crooked and I’m missing a molar or two, but by and large my teeth are pretty OK.

And you know that saying about teeth being the true measure of a person?

You don’t?

You’ve never heard that saying before? Really? I can hardly believe you’ve been that sheltered.

OK, well back to me and my being normal thing.

So I let Mr. Jenny go back to sleep because I knew I would need to find hard evidence to prove to him that I was normal (and to be honest I fell back asleep).

And this morning I googled a question about teeth and I got this answer: The central incisors (front teeth) are normally 8.5 - 9.5 mm from the gumline to the biting edge (crown).
And my central incisors are EXACTLY 9.0 mm.

SEE!!! SEEEEEE!!!!!

If I was not a normal person my teeth would be some other measurement and since they are not this proves, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I am normal!

However, now that I have measured my front teeth I am beginning to doubt that Mr. Jenny is normal. He has very short front teeth and I’m suspecting they are under 8.5 mm’s.

And I’m going to go measure them now to prove once and for all who the normal person is in our family.

And I’m wondering how I can sneak up to the person who implied I wasn’t normal in the first place and measure their teeth. I suspect they are either freakishly short of freakishly long thus indicating abnormality…

And possibly the explanation for why they were implying that I am not normal in the first place.

Doesn’t this make perfect sense to you? Yea. Me, too.

Gosh.

It’s so hard being me.

I’m heading back to Mr. Jenny’s office to measure his teeth now.

I’ll keep you posted on how this works out.

And...by the way...

Yes. I heard that sigh.

PS. Click here for a current giveaway and a favor for DebbieDooes.

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Sunday, June 27, 2010

A favor and a giveaway

I was going to attach these two things to my Monday post...but to be honest it is kinda/sorta a weird post and I'm afraid you may stop following my blog after you read it.

What?

I've written kinda/sorta weird things before?

About teeth?

OK, never mind.

I think it's just safer if I hit you up now for these two favors just in case.

So...

Let me start over.

Ahemmmm....

Since Monday's post is going to be delightfully entertaining and since I don't want to ...ummm.... dilute your delighted entertainment I'm going to do a second post for today.

The first one is a favor. For someone really nice. That isn't me. But don't get excited cuz I'm going to do my favor next.

Do you know Debbie at DebbieDoos? Debbie is trying to take her blog on the road by submitting a video to win a new TV Show. She would love it if you would vote for her. You can go to her blog by clicking here. Her video is right on that post and there is also a little place you can click to vote. You can hit the back arrow and vote as long as you want...Debbie would like you to vote for two or three hours continuously but I know she'll be happy and grateful if you vote for a minute or two as well.

Now the giveaway/favor. I prefer not to think of this as a bribe to make you do this but rather a reward for you doing it. Yea. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

I put up a new article on the Enquirer and I want you to read it. Or skim it. Whichever you prefer.

And I'm wondering if you might consider subscribing to my little page there.

So to bribe you...ummm.... I mean reward you for doing this I'm going to do a giveaway.

For subscribing and for comments on either or both posts I will put your name in a hat for a $25.00 Amazon e-gift card. I'll be putting up some other posts this week, too, on Tuesday and Thursday so you can comment on those days as well for a total of five chances to win this gift card.

To do this you can just click here to go to my Examiner page.

Are you confused? Yea, me, too.

Between now and Monday, July 5 you get one chance for:

Subscribing to follow my Examiner blog page

And additional chances for each comment you leave on any of my Examiner posts there.

Simple.

And slightly confusing.

Which is pretty much how I feel most days.

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Saturday Centus - What goes around...

This post is linked Saturday Centus - A 100 word story based on a prompt. The prompt is in bold below.
*********************************************************************************
Before I share my SC I have something to say. I have three children. And two step children. And three grandchildren. And one daughter-in-law, and two son-in-laws, and two sisters, and my parents and a weiner dog. ALL OF WHOM DON'T LISTEN TO ME!

And now some of you are on that list, too. Sigh.

The reason I ask that you don't split the prompt and that you use 100 words or less is so we are all on a level playing field with our stories. And so that what you write is driven by only the words of the prompt. It is an exercise in writing discipline...not an exercise in stretching the rules. If you want to split the prompt and write 178 1/2 words with the prompt, be my guest, but just don't link your story to the meme.

Please.

And now I will resume my regularly scheduled niceness!

**********************************************************************************

WEEK 8 PROMPT (contributed by Jeff...thank you!)

"Did you notice Elizabeth in class this morning and how forlorn she seemed?" Perhaps I will write her a comforting note, I thought.


My take on the prompt:

Did you notice Elizabeth in class this morning and how forlorn she seemed?" Perhaps I will write her a comforting note, I thought.

And then I quickly talked myself out of that dumb idea.

After all, what was the big deal.

Lots of kids parents got divorced. And they didn't mope around all day.

"Yea," I decided, "Elizabeth needs to just suck it up."

And all thoughts of her left my mind as I went through my day.

Things were quiet at the dinner table at home.

When my Mom and Dad told us kids they had something to tell us I never, ever expected them to say "Kids, we're sorry to tell you but we are getting a divorce."

Click here to read the rest of the posts linked to Saturday Centus Week 8.

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Saturday, June 26, 2010

Saturday Centus - Week 8

Jenny Matlock
Welcome to the eighth week of Saturday Centus.

This is a themed writing meme.

Each Saturday you will be giving a new "prompt" for the week and you have the entire week to link your work to the meme and you can link more than one story if you like.

We have a guest "prompt writer" this week. Our very own Jeff Campbell wrote todays prompt and it's a fun one! Thanks Jeff!

Each linked essay must be 100 words or less, not including the "prompt" words. No pictures should be used. No profanity. The prompt words can be used in any place within your story but must be left intact.

Please display link button or just a hyper-link back to Saturday Centus. Be careful to link your SC URL to the Linky and not just link to your main blog.

I would suggest that since these are so short, if you can't think of a title just use your blog name as the title in the Linky.

Try to visit each one because they are tremendous and since they are so short they are definitely a quick read!

Please e-mail me directly with ???'s or ask your question in a comment and I will do my best to get back to you as soon as possible.

WEEK 8 PROMPT

"Did you notice Elizabeth in class this morning and how forlorn she seemed?" Perhaps I will write her a comforting note, I thought.


This link will be live until next Saturday morning around 7 am. And please, remember to link to your SC URL...not your main blog. If you are unsure how to do this please leave me a message in the comments or e-mail me and I'll help you through it! Have fun!

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Friday, June 25, 2010

I was in an accident yesterday...

To be honest, it was pretty frightening. But because we are all friends here I am willing to relive my suffering so that you can benefit from the tragic tale.

Let me just preface the story by telling you it was 113 degrees here yesterday. And, yea, that is fahrenhot! We always kid that if you stand still on an asphalt parking lot your shoes will melt.

But after surviving what happened to me yesterday, I will no longer kid about such a horrific subject.

There I was, getting a nice girl-y pedicure, when I realized I had worn the wrong shoes. I wore my closed-toe Keens and everyone knows that you can't put newly pedi'd toes into closed-toe shoes.

So the pedicure guy (after clucking away at me in Vietnamese for several minutes obviously chastising me for my stupid shoe choice) gave me some of those little disposable sandals.
The thin ones.

And then he said to me "Jayn-nee, you will burn yur feet, you wait for dry."

And I said, "I can't. I will just wear the sandals to my car."

And then he said "kwa wa chee ha lee cha mee kwa," or something like that to the other girl there. And she shrugged her shoulders and made a face.

I think he probably said something like "this moronic woman with the wrong shoes is always in a hurry so she deserves what she gets."

I paid and shuffled outside.

As I stepped onto the asphalt it felt like I had nothing on my feet. I mean, seriously, the heat was radiating through the soles of these sandals. It was 4:30 in the afternoon in a full sun parking lot and I had parked wayyyyy out there.

I shuffled a bit further, cursing myself (kwa wa chee ha lee!) for wearing the wrong shoes to begin with.

I shuffled a little bit further and then I think the side of the sandal dissolved on the scorching asphalt. One of the straps pulled completely off, but I proceeded to try to get to my car and in the process totally messed up the polish on my big toe.

I got in the car and burned my... ummm.... hiney.... on the leather on the front seat, burned my hands on the steering wheel and then drove my car back to the side of the building where there was a parking spot in the shade.

And then, humiliated, I shuffled back in.

"Ummm.... I messed up my big toe," I told him while hiding the thin, broken sandal behind my back.

He immediately started a litany of something that sounded suspiciously like "Hwan can lee chu ma hwong" which I suspect meant "I told you so you moron."

...and then proceeded to fix my toenail polish.

Then he put another little disposable sandal on my foot. And raised his eyebrows at me and said "Jayn-nee?"

And I said "thank you, I parked closer so I'm not going to wait for it to dry" and then I shuffled as quickly as you can in those little disposable sandals and got out of there.

This time, however, I made it to my car safely.

And my toenail was perfectly fine.

Really.

Don't worry.

See?
The whole accident ended well after all!

But I felt it was only fair to share this message of tragedy, despair, hope and triumph with you.

In a world where so many things end badly, isn't it nice to feel uplifted like this?

And to know that sometimes you can just shuffle through the accident to find a happy ending

Oh.

And...

You're welcome.

Sigh...

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Thursday, June 24, 2010

W is for Water









This refreshing break is brought to you by Alphabe-Thursday's letter "W".

Please click here to visit the rest of the links! And dry your feet off before you walk across my floor, please!

PS I tried to segue this into my W post but even my freak brain can't do it...so....lovely Christina over at Fresh, Local and Best asked if I would mention she is doing an All-Clad pan giveaway and she'd love it if you'd go over there and enter...just click here to get there! Thanks so much! Make sure to look at her newer post, too. She has a great list featured about foods and chemicals. It is really interesting.

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Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Alphabe-Thursday "W"

Good morning class! We're going to be working with wild and wonderful letter this week:
But before we do, I have two important announcements.

1. I am still having internet issues (Mr. Jenny is replacing the router) and to avoid the strong desire to throw my computer out of the window I am not doing spots 1,2 and 3 this week. I'm sorry about that. Hopefully he will resolve this issue soon before I consider throwing him out of the window.

2. A lot of links to this meme are to really excellent blogs. If you didn't see my post yesterday about promoting your writing would you take a minute and go read it by clicking here? I just want to make sure you see this, I did think of a lot of you when I started the process for myself.

Now, moving onto the regular A-T info...

So that we can distribute comments a bit more evenly, if your first name starts with the letters A - L please start reading the odd posts first starting with link number 1.

If your first name starts with the letters M - Z please start reading the even posts first starting with link number 2.

I also want to let you know that each week I visit every blog. I noticed a blog today where my comment didn't show up. If it appears I haven't visited your blog by Sunday night, please let me know, because it is important to me to make sure you know I've visited you!

If you have any difficulties with your link please make sure to include the number of the link when you e-mail me. It is really difficult for me to find them otherwise.

If you have any questions about Alphabe-Thursday or problems doing your link just post it in a comment or send me an e-mail. I'll do my best to help you.

The McLinkey will be live from 6:00 pm MST time Wednesday night through 8:00 am MST time Friday morning!

And remember.... link back to this post, you need to be registered as a follower of my blog (since there are prizes involved and it makes my life easier that way), PG posts only, and try to visit all the other students according to the letter of your first name! The links will stay live after the final post deadline has passed so you can even wait and visit over the weekend or whenever you have more time.

Class is dismissed. You may wander down and link your "W" post now, class!

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Don’t look now…

…but there’s a third person in blogland!

And I’m very excited because IT’S ME!

Some weeks back I started the process of being a third person. No, this isn’t because I’m going to Weight Watchers. That would actually be the process of losing the third person I’ve been carrying around in the form of excess…ummm…. Jenny.

This was actually the process of learning to write in the third person…because I was asked to submit some articles for a National Blog linking “Local Experts”. It took me awhile to figure out what I was a “Local Expert” in. And after considerable thought I realized I am really an expert in surviving an Empty Nest in Mesa, Arizona .
I had to send in sample articles which were actually a great writing discipline for me. It really stretched my brain to write in a different way. And I actually kind of liked it. So I sent them. Various people there “critiqued” them and then they gave me a green light.

I was impressed because there are all kinds of things you need to do to write for this blog…actual paperwork, background checks, and filling out independent contractor forms because you actually get paid for what you write. Kind of exciting.

So, I’m sharing this with you today for a few reasons. The first is…Click here to GO LOOK!!!!! PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE! I have a bio and a linkback to my personal blog and this makes me feel kinda/sorta like a “real” writer. You can’t tell in my picture but my feet are doing a happy dance.

The second reason I’m sharing this with you is because I know a lot of are looking for writing exposure. I’m not going to tell you this was a piece of cake process because it wasn’t. I am still reading “how to’s” but I like the idea of learning AP style writing and I like the idea of stretching my writing muscles. I’ve been focused on learning how to attribute pictures, use their publishing tools, and discipline my word count. But it’s fun! And it’s different! And there are a lot of learning resources available like tutorials and call-in conference calls! And I like the idea of expanding my horizons.

If you read my page and think this might be something you want to try, e-mail me (jennymatlock at cox dot net) and put “Examiner” in the subject line and I’ll tell you how to submit an application.

I don’t know where this will lead, but for me, writing is a journey and I am all about trying new paths along the way! And thank heavens this particular path is wide enough for a third person to fit beside me.

And in case I wasn’t obvious enough CLICK HERE to read my first article!

Thanks for letting me share my excitement with you!

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Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Story-Time Tuesday Chapter 10

If you missed TALES FROM HOME - Chapter 9 just click here to read it!

Jenny Matlock

TALES FROM HOME - Chapter Ten

As the sound of Riley’s voice filled the bedroom at the top of the stairs, Julia and Morgan untangled their “pretzeled” arms and legs.

Morgan snuggled deeper into the pillow to fall back asleep, but Julia shook her gently awake. As the youngest sister opened one dark blue eye through a snarl of blonde hair, the oldest sister looked around the room with two critical eyes.

The wallpaper of faded pink roses looked like it could use a scrubbing. The quilt, pillow and sheets on the old bed looked like they could use a washing. The grimy window panes could definitely use a polishing and the rocking chair, table and marble-topped dresser were absolutely in need of a dusting.

“Morgan, get up! We need to have a meeting,” bossed Julia. Morgan was still small enough to mind her older sister, but getting big enough to be a bit sassy. “Fine,” she grumbled as she reluctantly sat up in bed. Riley burst through the bedroom door, though, before the two sisters could even put a foot on the old floorboards.

“Get up! Get up!” she yelled, “The storm is over…I saw some strawberries…We need to check on the chipmunks…I’m hungry…”

Before she could continue her excited babbling, Julia interrupted her by saying, “Riley, stop a second, we need to talk about some stuff.”

Riley climbed up with her sisters and all three girls bounced a bit and found comfortable spots on the old mattress.

“OK,” Julia began, “I’ve been thinking. Maybe we should start on our way to...”

A cry of protest from both sisters interrupted Julia’s little speech.

“No!” shouted Riley. “No!” shouted Morgan.

Julia held up a firm, big sister hand and said, “Let me finish.”

But again, both little sisters protested.

Then Riley held up an even more determined middle sister hand. “Listen,” she said, “I think we are supposed to stay here. Everything we need is here and…”
Julia encouraged her sister to continue. “And what Riley?”

“Wellllll… I don’t know if this will make sense…but…ummm… I think this little house will help keep us safe.”

Throughout this conversation, the hopeful little house had been wishing intently. “Oh please, please, please! Please let these little girls stay here with me!” And as Riley made her statement to her sisters, the hopeful little house almost held its breath.

“I don’t know,” Julia replied thoughtfully. “If we are going to stay here for awhile, there are a lot of things we have to do. I don’t know if I can take care of us all here.”

Quietly, Riley replied, “You don’t have to take care of us, Julia. We can all take care of each other.”

The hopeful little house’s wishes filled the small bedroom. “Please, please, please…”

Julia hopped down from the bed and went to the grimy window. Her sisters watched her intently from their cross legged perch atop the faded quilt.

“Please, please, please…” the house’s wishes continued.

At last Julia turned away from the window and said, “OK, but if we’re going to stay we need to have a plan!”

In the midst of the excited hugging and shouting that followed her words, none of the little girls could hear the whispered thanks for wishes granted that swirled throughout the happy little house.

“C’mon,” Julia shouted, “Let’s go make a plan.”

As all three girls thumped and bumped down the steps; their loud chatter startled the Mother Chipmunk hiding in the lower cupboard.

Armed with a notepad and pencil retrieved from Julia’s old purple backpack on the kitchen table, they headed out onto the front porch and frightened the small, skinny calico cat sunning on the stone step.

There is nothing more exciting than making a plan when you’ve been living without one for a long time. The girls were excited to begin.

In the warm late spring sunshine, the girls worked together and this is the plan they came up with:

Morgan was determined to add two more things to the list. “Put down number five! Number five and number six! You need to write down “play” and “take care of the animals”.

Julia told her sister, “First we do our work and then we do our play. But I will add number five – “Take care of animals”. And she did.

Morgan stomped her foot. “What if we forget to play?” she said, “Write it down, write it down!”

And so, Riley, picked up the pencil and wrote number 6 on the list.
Together the girls went into the kitchen and hung the list carefully on a small nail beside the back door.

And then, together, they went outside to start with number one on their list!

To be continued on Tuesday, June 28.

(c) 2010 Jennifer R. Matlock
This publication is the exclusive property of Jennifer R. Matlock and is protected
under the US Copyright Act of 1976 and all other applicable international, federal, state and local laws. The contents of this post/story may not be reproduced as a whole or in part, by any means whatsoever, without consent of the author, Jennifer R. Matlock. All rights reserved.

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Monday, June 21, 2010

The following takes place...

Between 1:18 pm and 11:53 pm

Insanity.

Addiction.

Arrrgggghhh.

One of our lovely daughters gave Mr. Jenny several boxed season sets of 24 for his Birthday several weeks ago.

And...

Ummm...

Seriously, my butt hurts.

We started watching Season 4 and watched continuous episodes for over 10 hours. I only let Mr. Jenny hit the pause button when I had to tinkle or grab something to eat. When he wanted to tinkle or get something to eat I told him, "ARE YOU INSANE! WE'RE NOT PAUSING IT NOW! SUCK IT UP, MAN!" because it was always, always at some suspenseful part of the episode. The phone rang. We didn't care. That's why they invented voice mail.

The doorbell rang. We didn't care. That's why they made locks for front doors.

Our to-do lists languished on the counter. We didn't care. That's why they made tomorrows.

And all I can say is this...we still have around six hours of viewing time to go. Just to finish this season.

But I'm pretty sure it's gonna slow down. Soon. Very soon.

And then we can turn off the DVD and step away from the TV set.

And maybe, finally, take a shower.

And when I won a blog giveaway last week for Season 1 of 24 I almost passed on the prize. But, really, that would be silly because I'm going to get control of this addiction soon. And besides. I can turn off the DVD player whenever I want to. It's just that Mr. Jenny won't let me.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Sigh...

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Sunday, June 20, 2010

OK, I'll admit it...

I iron.

So there.

Mr. Jenny home offices but I always iron his shirts. After I hang them out on the line to dry. I like when he is crisp and neat and smells like sunshine.

Cuz, yea, well he is my sunshine.

AND...

I have now successfully trained him in the art of garage sale spotting.

Saturday morning I was being a lady of indulgence sleeping in until 6:15 when he came in sweetly and said, "The neighbors are having a garage sale!"

I sat up instantly and said "Who?"

"Tom and Judy on the corner," he said and then told me, "Hurry, there's a lot of people there already!"

So I leaped out of bed (OK, it was a pathetic leap but a leap none-the-less!), threw some semi-matching clothes on, tried to comb the snarls out of my hair and then hopped out the front door pulling my shoes on as I went!

It was a huge garage sale and there were tons of people there. All the cool stuff was sitting behind the cashier table already sold.

With a tear in my eye (Hey, I get emotional when I miss out on stuff like this, don't judge me, K?) I turned to go and then I spotted this on a table of plastic containers! I am always a sucker for a metal box. And this one was cool...a little patina, a cute little latch. Geez, Louise!

I opened it up and look what was inside...prepare to say "Awwww..."


...and after I grabbed my treasure Mr. Jenny and I tooled around the neighborhood, drinking a latte from Dutch Brothers coffee and hanging out.

And even though I won't use this to iron Mr. Jenny's shirts I will think of him whenever I see it in my laundry room.

Because this is Father's Day. And he is the best, kindest, most wonderful supportive, loving and supportive guy in the world...to all of our kids and Grands and to me. Oh, and did I mention, he's now a well-trained garage sale spotter!?!

Yea, he definitely deserves those crispy, neat, smelling of sunshine shirts.

My little travel iron treasure is linked to Debbie's Garage Salen! Visit the rest of the cool treasures by clicking here!

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Happy Fathers Day?

This post is linked Saturday Centus - A 100 word story based on a prompt. The prompt is in bold below.
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WEEK 7 PROMPT

It was Fathers Day, 1984, when I heard that voice in the hallway...


My take on the prompt:


So, yea, I was grounded again. What a surprise.

“Irresponsible, bad decisions, disrespectful, stupid” ...just some of the words thrown at me earlier in the day.

I hunkered down in my room, being appropriately obedient.

It was Fathers Day, after all. I would wait a few more hours and then be a properly remorseful daughter.

Things would blow over. I was just a teenager. And teenagers do dumb things, right?

It was Fathers Day, 1984, when I heard that voice in the hallway.

It sounded like the words were being filtered through a walkie talkie.

I strained to hear Dad’s quiet reply. “No Officer, I don’t there are any weapons in her room.”

Click here to read the rest of the prompts linked to Saturday Centus Week 7.

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Saturday, June 19, 2010

Saturday Centus - Week 7

Jenny Matlock
Welcome to the seventh week of Saturday Centus.

This is a themed writing meme.

Each Saturday you will be giving a new "prompt" for the week and you have the entire week to link your work to the meme and you can link more than one story if you like.

Mr. Jenny has taken over the writing of the prompts and I suspect he will really make us stretch our imaginations!

Each linked essay must be 100 words or less, not including the "prompt" words. No pictures should be used. No profanity. The prompt words can be used in any place within your story but must be left intact.

Please display link button or just a hyper-link back to Saturday Centus. Be careful to link your SC URL to the Linky and not just link to your main blog.

I would suggest that since these are so short, if you can't think of a title just use your blog name as the title in the Linky.

Try to visit each one because they are tremendous and since they are so short they are definitely a quick read!

Please e-mail me directly with ???'s or ask your question in a comment and I will do my best to get back to you as soon as possible.

WEEK 7 PROMPT

It was Fathers Day, 1984, when I heard that voice in the hallway...


This link will be live until next Saturday morning around 7 am. And please, remember to link to your SC URL...not your main blog. If you are unsure how to do this please leave me a message in the comments or e-mail me and I'll help you through it! Have fun!

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Friday, June 18, 2010

When I was in fourth grade...

I went to a sleep-over at a friends. She was a sophisticated friend. She knew swear words, her Mom let her shave her armpits AND she had a Ouija Board. We stayed up most of the night in her dark room and in the flickering light of two black votive candles (I told you she was sophisticated) we predicted our futures.

There was a lot of giggling involved when the magic pointer thing-y pointed to "YES" when I asked if John Blair would love me.

It lied. He never did.

When I was in sixth grade I went to a sleep-over at friends. It was another friend but she was still way more sophisticated than me. Not only did she know swear words, her Dad had Playboy magazines (which pretty much scarred my body image perceptions for life-and yes, straight girls are curious, too!), she shaved her legs AND she had a Magic 8 Ball. We stayed up most of the light grooving with her lava lamp, listening to Herman's Hermits and asking all kinds of profound questions.

There was a lot of giggling involved when the magic window told me "It is certain" when I asked if Keith Farris would love me.

It lied. He never did.

Now that I'm older, I'm done with all that silliness.

And since I'm pretty sophisticated now knowing my own swear words and shaving my armpits AND legs without my Mom's permission, I decided to go high tech with the future prediction thing.

This past week which was almost verging on a terrible, horrible, very bad, no good week I asked word verification if things were going to get better soon.

Word verification told me: WHINR

The next day I asked if babysitting would be too much for me this summer.

My word verification was: IDEEOT

And finally today I asked if I would loose five pounds this week at Weight Watchers.

My word verification told me: FATCHANSS

So I give up.

Somehow I don't think it was the missing pilfered Playboys and black votive candles.

Which kind of stinks because I was hoping this would work so I could move onto lottery number predictions.

But since retro is supposed to be a good thing, maybe I should give that Ouija board one last chance!

Can I borrow yours? You can come over and we'll do it together! I'll get the candles...you bring all your swear words and the shaving cream!

Sigh...

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Thursday, June 17, 2010

V is for Violets


Down behind the old stone wall
The fragrant violets grow
I pick them in a perfect bunch
Because I love them so.
My Grandmothers gnarled and busy hands
Take the bouquet with gentle care
She puts them in the chipped pink glass
To perfume her bedroom air.

Down behind the old stone wall
My tears fell on the flowers
I wept for loss and sought hearts ease
For many sorrowful hours.
My Grandmothers quiet, gnarled hands
Were crossed with perfect care
I kissed her still and silent face
And left a violet in her silver hair.

By: Jenny Matlock
This little poem is dedicated to my Grandmother, Frances and my sister, Elizabeth


This post linked to Alphabe-Thursday's Letter "V". To visit the other "V" posts just click here.

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Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Alphabe-Thursday "V"

Good morning class! We're going to be working with an very venerable letter this week:
But before we do, I have two important announcements.

1. I used letter "E" this week to select the 1, 2 and 3 places for this meme. The way I've been doing this is telling Mr. Jenny how many entries there are and asking him to tell me three numbers. Spot 1 goes to: Anna's Adornments Spot 2 goes to: House Revival. Spot 3 goes to: Viki's Place. I notified you on each of your posts that I would link you this week. If you have any questions, let me know! Congratulations!

ACCCCCKKKKK!!!! I am having major internet issues. It is going up and down and I couldn't link you all into spots 1, 2 and 3. You were linked into spots 6, 7 and 8. Next week I will get you into the first three spots. I'm sorry your prize isn't much of a prize this week.

2. When we are done with the Letter Z, which will be July 15, I was going to do a 7 week "Summer School" using the colors of the rainbow. And then start again at Letter A. A lot of you have been asking about this and these are my thoughts!

Now, moving onto the regular A-T info...

So that we can distribute comments a bit more evenly, if your first name starts with the letters A - L please start reading the odd posts first starting with link number 1.

If your first name starts with the letters M - Z please start reading the even posts first starting with link number 2.

I also want to let you know that each week I visit every blog. I noticed a blog today where my comment didn't show up. If it appears I haven't visited your blog by Sunday night, please let me know, because it is important to me to make sure you know I've visited you!

If you have any difficulties with your link please make sure to include the number of the link when you e-mail me. It is really difficult for me to find them otherwise.

If you have any questions about Alphabe-Thursday or problems doing your link just post it in a comment or send me an e-mail. I'll do my best to help you.

The McLinkey will be live from 6:00 pm MST time Wednesday night through 8:00 am MST time Friday morning!

And remember.... link back to this post, you need to be registered as a follower of my blog (since there are prizes involved and it makes my life easier that way), PG posts only, and try to visit all the other students according to the letter of your first name! The links will stay live after the final post deadline has passed so you can even wait and visit over the weekend or whenever you have more time.

Class is dismissed. You may link your "V" posts now for viewing, class!

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A deep philosophical question...

I've read before that the quote about the tree falling in the forest is one of the most profound of all philosophical quotations.

So, I think you're gonna be impressed with me when I ask my query.

Here it is.

If someone does something that their family thinks is nice but it is really evil, is it evil?

Don't say "huh?" to me.

Haven't you been reading my blog long enough now to know that my mind is all twisty and convoluted?

Oh.

You are new to my blog?

Ummm....

Then...

Ummm...

OK, this is just a momentary lapse off my normal path of control, reason and a totally organized posting schedule.

Ummm...

OK, then.

Back to my deep thoughts.

Well, is it?

Did you forget the question already?

OK. Geez.

If someone does something that their family thinks is nice but it is really evil, is it evil?

The reason I ask this is simple.

When I go for my walk every morning my path takes me by this house situated at about the one mile mark.

It is an ordinary looking house. There are some older people that live there. They are both kinda/sorta skinny in the way that old people have that you know means they've always been thin. Rather than that skinny way that sometimes old people have that you know means they are very, very sick and you feel all horrible for them.

If these people were the last skinny I would never, ever write this post. Because I would be all sad and probably have to write a post about appreciating every moment in life and blah, blah, blah.

But because they are the first type of skinny, I can write this in good conscience. Since they're not all sick skinny, you know?

So...

The evil part is this.

Every single morning she is baking something in that house before 6 am. The smell wafts out of their house, across a little field, through some overgrown bushes and ASSAULTS me! Some mornings it smells like biscuits baking. Some mornings it is cupcakes or cinnamon rolls or bacon and pancakes. This morning it smelled totally, exactly like cherry pie. I kid you not!

This is evil, right?

I mean even if she is a nice healthy skinny old person, it is still cruel right?

And I'm just not sure how to resolve this problem.

Sure, I could walk a different way but doesn't that infringe upon my rights as an American to walk whichever direction I want to ON A PUBLIC THOROUGHFARE.

Technically, I know it is her right as an American to bake whatever she wants to, but isn't it evil to release those scents from her private domicile into the AIRSPACE SURROUNDED A PUBLIC THROUGHFARE?

Because this totally fits right into the big philosophical question...If someone does something that their family thinks is nice but it is really evil, is it evil?

Because, to be totally honest it sure feels evil to me.

And I don't understand how such a kind looking, nice healthy skinny old person can be so cruely malicious.

I'm trying really, really hard not to be a hater here...but this woman is really pushing the edges of my control!

I mean, seriously...baking cherry pie before 6 am. What is the world coming to?

Sigh.

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Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Story-Time Tuesday Chapter 9

If you missed STORIES FROM HOME - Chapter 8 just Click here to read it!

Jenny Matlock

STORIES FROM HOME - Chapter Nine

The next morning, the sun shone weakly through the grimy window panes, waking Riley from her restless sleep.

She quietly climbed out of bed and tiptoed down the stairs without her usual bright energy. Not even glancing at the bottom cupboard and the adorable baby chipmunks, she walked silently through the kitchen and opened the back kitchen door.

Instead of jumping down the three stone steps, Riley just leaned against the peeling paint of the little house. Her eyes seemed more gray than blue today and didn’t seem to notice that the storm had passed.

White, puffy clouds wandered across a pure, brilliant blue sky in the breeze and were reflected in the many mud puddles left behind. We all know that mud puddles attract small children like magnets, but if Riley noticed their inviting presence, she gave no sign.

She just leaned quietly against the sturdy little house lost in thought.

Even though Riley was just a little girl, it seemed she already knew that sometimes, although we fear being alone when we are troubled, silence and a bit of quiet is just what is needed to sort through jumbled thoughts.

And so she leaned, lost in contemplation. After several, long moments had passed, she closed her eyes and finally the whispered the question that was most bothering her into the fresh, morning air, “Who is going to take care of us?”

Almost immediately it felt like someone clearly whispered an answer back to her! The answer she heard was, “You are going to take care of yourself. And I am going to help you.”

The words Riley heard were so clear and strong that her eyes popped open and she looked around. She was alone, but somehow she didn’t feel frightened anymore.

With a hop and a skip she rushed back through the kitchen and into the little hallway!

“Julia, Morgan! Wake up!” she yelled loudly.

And as her loud and happy voice filled the room, it felt like the hopeful, little house was surrounding her with a smile.

To be continued on Tuesday, June 21.

(c) 2010 Jennifer R. Matlock
This publication is the exclusive property of Jennifer R. Matlock and is protected
under the US Copyright Act of 1976 and all other applicable international, federal, state and local laws. The contents of this post/story may not be reproduced as a whole or in part, by any means whatsoever, without consent of the author, Jennifer R. Matlock. All rights reserved.

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Monday, June 14, 2010

How to not take a nap...

So...

I've been whining a little bit lately about how tired out I am from watching all three Grands three days a week.

Wednesday I was just tuckered out.

The girls were all playing Barbie with the Grandma's Helper Angel Girl and I told her, very quietly, I was going to go in my room and lay down for a little bit.

After about two minutes the littlest Grand showed up, book in hand and crawled on top of me to tell me she needed me to read to her.

13 seconds after that the oldest Grand showed up, with her own book in hand. Before long the middle Grand AND the Grandma's Helper Angel Girl all came back and soon we were all five laying the bed. I started singing the "There was five in the bed and the little one said, roll over, roll over..." song.

And that was the end.

No nap for Grandma.

But there was sure a lot of happy giggles from all five of us! Gosh, I'm lucky!

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Sunday, June 13, 2010

Saturday Centus - Week 6

This post is linked Saturday Centus - A 100 word story based on a prompt. The prompt is in bold below.
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WEEK 6 PROMPT

It’s true, the smell of freshly mowed grass can stay with you for years, for decades.


And it's also true that the evocative scent can bring on a full-blown attack of acridophobia.

Especially if you were the tomboy in a family of four girls to whom the duty of mowing the front, 3 acre field fell to on a weekly basis.

"Dad," I would beg, "Please don't make me mow behind the polebarn. The grasshoppers are everywhere there! I hate them!"

My Father, a no-nonsense military man, simply growled, "Quit being stupid. Go mow!"

So I did.

The rich verdant smell of the grass falling under the whirring blades of the riding lawn mower was always accompanied by my screams and flailing arms as the grasshoppers rained around me like evil, prehistoric confetti in the golden summer sun.

Click here to read the rest
of the stories linked to Week 6's prompt!

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