Saturday Centus - Sometimes you bend...

 

 

Welcome to week ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY SEVEN of Saturday Centus.

PROMPT:  "Sometimes you bend. Sometimes you break." 
WORD COUNT -  Not to exceed 106 (including the prompt)
STYLE OF WRITING - Any
PICTURES - Any Additional

The regular restrictions apply: PG, no splitting of the prompt, play nicely and visit the other links, please.

Please display my link button or just a hyper-link back to Saturday Centus. Be careful to link your SC URL to the Linky and not just link to your main blog.

Feel free to link up anytime between now and next Saturday.

Fractured Nursery Rhyme

This little rhyme is linked to week 126 of Saturday Centus.   The prompt is in bold.   To read other links, just click here.

Blah, blah, blah, blah black sheep.

Baked in a pie.

My mom packed it my lunch one day.

It made me wonder why.

The teacher said, “Curds and whey are healthier!

Than all that fat and lean!"

It made the children laugh and play.

The teacher was so mean.

Jill and I ran up the hill

To escape the taunting cries.

We ran back down.

Aghast!

Disturbed!

After seeing an old lady swallowing flies.

I think the eensy weensy spiders were next.

 

This whole ordeal makes me perplexed.

Oh me.

Oh my.

Tock tick.   Tick tock.

Now this fractured rhyme must stop.

Appliance nirvan-wah!

BEFORE I BEGIN THIS TOTALLY IMPORTANT POST (gack!) I WANT TO TELL YOU I AM DOING TWO GIVEAWAYS NEXT WEEK...ON MONDAY AND TUESDAY BOTH!   Yes, one involves flavored coffee but the other is a fun announcement for our family.  I've just been waiting for the prize to come in the mail!)

Ahem.   So here's the regularly scheduled programming.

...

...

Some months back, my little food processor died a ghastly death.

It involved grinding noises, a blade spinning awry...

...gulp.

I buried it.

Ceremonially, in my trash, where all broken small appliances are interred.

And I remained chopper-less.

Life became more difficult.

Onions and I became enemies.

I can barely bear to discuss the chopping of hot peppers.

Sigh.

Until last week.

I saw my salvation!

A lime-green mini food processor sitting sweetly on the clearance end cap at Target.

The moment our eyes met, it began murmuring enticements like, "I am a fine chopper, baby!" and "Hey, I'm willing to grind for you."

So I had to buy it.

I took it home, unpacked it, and put it happily on my kitchen counter.

Yesterday I decided to use the little beauty.

I had a big pile of onions and peppers to mince up and I figured it was time to make that little  appliance earn it's keep.

I plugged it in.

And tried to take the top off.

Hmmm...

I tugged and pulled.

The top stayed firmly on.

I got the directions out and read them.   No luck.

Fortunately, I was going to Target for another errand, so I packed up the little chopper and took it to the service counter.

"I would like to replace this," I explained, "The top is wedged on."

The cashier was nice and fortunately there was another lime green one left in the clearance section.

I brought it home.

I plugged it in.

The darned top would not come off again.

"What are the odds of this?" I grumbled.   The pile of peppers and onions taunted me.   "You have to cut us with a knife.  Nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah!", they sneered.

I read the directions again.

I pulled again, with a slight twisting motion.

"For crying out loud," I said, "It is ridiculous that two Kitchen-aid food processors aren't working.  Grrrr!"

I called the Kitchen-Aid assistance number.

And got a live person.

I told her my problem.  I told her I thought it must be pretty poor design if I had just experienced two defective products.

She told me she was sorry.

She continued, 'After you remove the packing tape, the lid won't turn at all?"

Packing tape?

Tape?

I put my reading glasses on and looked really, really closely.

Tape.

Darned clear tape.

Three pieces holding the top securely to the bottom.

Arrrrrggggh.

"Ummmm..." I said.

"Ummmmmm...well, hold on just a second."

I peeled the tape off.

The top of the processor lifted off easily.

"Ummmm....got it," I mumbled, "Thanks so much."

She finished our call cheerily, "Anything else I can help you with today?"

"Ummm...no....I think I've got it, thanks so much."

And after that.

Well.

After that the peppers and onions didn't stand a chance.

God Bless my powerful little lime green food processor.

I'm think I'm going to head to Target again today.

To buy stronger reading glasses.

I'll let you know if there's any more choppers on clearance. 

You're on your own for tape removal, though.

Sigh...

Painted Letter S

Hi.   Can I tell you something?  Thanks.

I feel really weird selling these signs on Etsy.  I feel like I'm using our blog friendship as a basis to sell you something...but I'm really not.

I would paint these signs even if I wasn't selling them.   The selling part is just my way of making my own money.  Having some health limitations, I tried that work from home tech job.   Unfortunately, when we moved, our internet could no longer support the band-width necessary to do it.

I hope it doesn't make you uncomfortable seeing the little etsy store link to the right and if it doesn't, maybe you can steer any sign buying acquaintances you have my etsy shop way.  I'd sure appreciate that.

I just wanted to put this out in the light of day in case it was bothering you.

Okay.

I feel better now.

So.

Ahem.

Moving on.

This week for the letter S I painted three signs.

One of them turned out pretty special...or at least I think so.


S

 

12" x 12"

 

 15" x 16"

 

This is my favorite this week. 

 

16" x 15"

 

No stencils.   No stickers.  Handpainted with my own layout.

Each picture is linked to my Etsy shop.   Simply click on the picture to go visit!

You can see other signs in this series by clicking on 'Painted
Alphabet' in my sidebar.

 To visit other links to the letter "R",  just click here.

Lately I find myself...

…wishing I could remember the dreams and aspirations of my childhood.

 

 

 Some days I can feel them, like delicate translucent butterflies, dancing around the edges of my consciousness.

 

 I reach out to hold their fragile flutterings…

 

 …but the gossamer edges of their existence slips from my grasp and they dance away on a breeze or a whim.

 

 If I could only remember them…

 

 I would carefully write each one on a tiny slip of paper in indelible ink and fold them into the safety of a little glass jelly jar,

 

 …airtight and safe…

 

 

 …to keep them from slipping away, yet again.

 

 

 I wonder what might happen if I took that tightly sealed jar-of-my-heart and planted it…

 

 Timothy Green-like…

 

 In a garden.

 

In  rich, fragrant soil that smells of the future and the past.

 

 If I were to cover that small canning jar with little bits of moist, crumbly loam until it was buried deep and true...

 

...would those dreams grow again?

 

 Or would they simply disintegrate with time and eventually disappear again?

 

 When do the dreams become the past and not the possibility?

 

 Really.

 

 I’m not sure how this happens.

 

Or when it happens.

 

 

Or even if it happens to everyone.

 

...

 

...

 

 Tonight I have placed a little jelly jar, here on the edge of my desk.

 

I see it sparkle.

 It's emptiness entices me to fill it with tiny bits of paper scrawled with those dreams and aspirations.

 

 I just can’t quite remember what to write on those slips of paper.

 

 In the meantime, though, just so the jar isn’t empty…

 

 I shall put into it a tiny rock  given to me by our youngest Granddaughter for safekeeping.

 

 And an errant marble shot through with sky blue and sunset red.

 

 And a purple rock with the texture and sheen of mercury.

 

 I will fill this  empty little jar with my life as it is now…

 

…and someday I will remember those dreams.

 

And aspirations.

 

 And I will hold them tenderly in my hand.

 

 And I will dream them again.

Alphabe-Thursday Letter S

Good morning class.

Welcome to round five of Alphabe-Thursday! Today we will be studying the simply sensational letter:


Please link directly to your Alphabe-Thursday URL (if you don't know how to do this let me know!) and please continue to visit the five links before and after your link and leave a comment. Minimum of 10 links visited please. You can visit more if you like, of course.

I also want to let you know that each week I visit every blog. If it appears I haven't visited your blog by the following Saturday morning, please let me know!

If you have any difficulties with your link, please make sure to include the number of the link when you e-mail me. It is really difficult for me to find you easily otherwise.

If you have any questions about Alphabe-Thursday or problems doing your link just post it in a comment or send me an e-mail. I'll do my best to help you as quickly as I can.

The McLinkey will be live from 1:00 pm MST time Wednesday afternoon in an effort to assist our lovely "friends across the pond" and continue through 10:00 am MST time Friday morning!

And remember.... link back to this post, you need to be registered as a follower of my blog, PG posts only, and you must visit at least 10 other posts...perhaps consider starting from the last posts and work backwards. The links will stay live after the final post deadline has passed so you can even wait and visit over the weekend or whenever you have more time.

Please link your silly or somber S link now!

I tried...oh how I tried...

...to do some serious research last week.

 

I had planned to do a little Autumn giveaway today...

 

but things didn't work out the way I planned.

 

Last week I visited a Starbucks drive-through.

 

For the sole purpose of buying a "Pumpkin Spice" coffee drink.

 

My brilliant idea was to try three different lattes and then give away a gift card to the best one.

 

To one of you.

 

You know.

 

Because it was officially the first day of autumn on Saturday.

 

Autumn.

 

Oh boy oh boy.

 

Just because it's over 100 here in Arizona doesn't mean we don't get excited when pumpkin flavors come out.

 

We feel a little bit like Jimmy Buffet...

 

Instead of being 5 o'clock somewhere...

 

...we know with great certainty that it's autumn 'somewhere'.

 

Mr. Jenny handed me my steamy cup as he drove away.

 

I inhaled the aroma.

 

Hmmm...

 

It didn't smell pumpkin-y.

 

It turned out to not actually be pumpkin at all.  I think it was salted caramel.  

 

I drank it anyway.

 

And planned ahead for pumpkin spice.

 

On Saturday, Mr. Jenny went to our favorite coffee place in the world.

 

I don't know if you have a Dutch Brothers coffee near you, but if you do you already know how great their coffee is.

 

"Pumpkin spice, please," I requested.  "I'm trying to do a taste comparison so I can do a little blog giveaway."

 

Mr. Jenny came back about fifteen minutes later.

 

I'm not sure what he gave me. 

 

But there was no pumpkin.

 

And no spice.

 

Sunday, however, I thought things were going to change.

 

Mr. Jenny wanted to go for a drive and I spied (with my little eye) a Dunkin' Donuts!

 

"Stop!   Stop!" I shrieked.

 

Mr. Jenny does NOT like it when I do that.

 

But he complied.

 

"A small pumpkin spice latte," I said into the tinny speaker.   "Pumpkin.   Spice.  Latte. Pumpkin. Spice.  Latte."

 

 I repeated myself.

 

Twice.

 

I resisted pumpkin donuts.

 

All I wanted was my pumpkin spice latte.

 

I had Mr. Jenny wait while I opened my little cup.

 

Hooray.   There were spicy looking sprinkles on the top of the foamy latte.

 

After a few minutes I took a sip.

 

And another.

 

And there was no pumpkin in there.

 

Not a drop.

 

Just some moderately bitter coffee with milky foam and spice sprinkles.

 

I put it down in disgust.

 

"Pumpkin spice is stupid," I told Mr. Jenny.

 

"I hate pumpkin spice anyway.   Stupid fall.   Stupid coffee places.  Stupid idea to do a stupid taste comparison for a giveaway anyway.  Grrrrr."

 

Mr. Jenny tried to stay out of my annoyance.

 

He pretended to be looking out the window.

 

He drank his own plain latte.

 

After a few minutes he thought I was calmer and suggested, 'Why don't you try and do a taste test NEXT week?"

 

I muttered a little bit.  "Stupid pumpkin.   Stupid fall.   Stupid coffee places."

 

Then I turned the air conditioner way down in the car...

 

...to feel more autumnal, you know?

 

And I decided I would try again this week.

 

Let's hope the plan goes better this week.

 

But, hey.

 

I wanted to wish you 'Happy Autumn' anyway.

 

 Even without a pumpkin spice giveaway.

Saturday Centus - Blah, blah, blah

 

 

Welcome to week ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY SIX of Saturday Centus.

PROMPT:  "Blah, blah, blah." 
WORD COUNT -  Not to exceed 103  (including the prompt)
STYLE OF WRITING - Any
PICTURES - Any Additional

The regular restrictions apply: PG, no splitting of the prompt, play nicely and visit the other links, please.

Please display my link button or just a hyper-link back to Saturday Centus. Be careful to link your SC URL to the Linky and not just link to your main blog.

E-mail me directly with ???'s or ask your question in a comment and I will do my best to get back to you as soon as possible.

Feel free to link up anytime between now and next Saturday.

P's, B's and D's

We carefully sit.

 

We sound out the words

 

Is this word ‘big, pig or dig’…how absurd.

 

How can a five year old know all the sounds?

 

Reading in Kindergarten? Pressure abounds!

 

“Pah…pah…pah…pig,”she eventually says.

 

I reply, “That’s a b!”

 

She shakes her blonde head.

 

“Try once again,” I calmly inspire.

 

“Dah…dah…dig!” She looks happy.

 

But I burst her sweet bubble.

 

I prompt, “Bah…bah…bah…B!”

 

But she simply looks troubled.

 

“Words can be puzzling,” I assure her once more.

 

“Let’s try this page again.”

 

She stares at the floor.

 

“The big pig likes to dig,” I say pointing at words.

 

Reading in Kindergarten?

 

This is absurd.

 

 

This little poem is linked to week 125 of Saturday Centus.   The four word prompt is in bold and the story is exactly 104 words!   To read other links to this prompt, just click here.

Painted Letter R's

I love the letter "R"!  It's been a ridiculously fun letter to paint around.   I'm gonna be honest here...the final one has nothing to do with the letter "R" but I'm sharing it anyway because I am excited about it.   So there.

R

24" x 10"

I painted these for our Grandlittle and Great-nephew.  I think they are super sweet.

 

 

16" x 15"

 

 

16" x 24"

 

"R" is for radiant leaves!   This one is super cool!   Love the painted leaf background.

 

11 1/2" x 17"

 

No stencils.   No stickers.  Handpainted with my own layout.

Each picture is linked to my Etsy shop.   Simply click on the picture to go visit!

You can see other signs in this series by clicking on 'Painted
Alphabet' in my sidebar.

 To visit other links to the letter "R",  just click here.

Alphabe-Thursday Letter R

Good morning class.

Welcome to round five of Alphabe-Thursday! Today we will be studying the ridiculously radical letter:



Please link directly to your Alphabe-Thursday URL (if you don't know how to do this let me know!) and please continue to visit the five links before and after your link and leave a comment. Minimum of 10 links visited please. You can visit more if you like, of course.

I will be by to visit each of your blogs by Friday evening.

If you have any difficulties with your link, please make sure to include the number of the link when you e-mail me. It is really difficult for me to find you easily otherwise.

If you have any questions about Alphabe-Thursday or problems doing your link just post it in a comment or send me an e-mail. I'll do my best to help you as quickly as I can.

The McLinkey will be live from 1:00 pm MST time Wednesday afternoon in an effort to assist our lovely "friends across the pond" and continue through 10:00 am MST time Friday morning!

And remember.... link back to this post, you need to be registered as a follower of my blog, PG posts only, and you must visit at least 10 other posts...perhaps consider starting from the last posts and work backwards. The links will stay live after the final post deadline has passed so you can even wait and visit over the weekend or whenever you have more time.

Please link your "R" post right now:

Close Encounters of...

...the absent-minded kind.

Sigh.

For the past several months I've been trying to remember the name of a movie.

"The guy takes the mashed potatoes and makes them into a shape? Remember?"  I said to Mr. Jenny.

"I don't remember what movie you're talking about," replied Mr. Jenny.

"You know?  He dumps dirt in his kitchen window and bushes and there's that melody...you know?  That song to the aliens...da da da DUH da!   Remember?"

Mr. Jenny did not recall.

But...

A few days ago not only did Mr. Jenny remember the name of the movie, he recorded it on our DVR.

Close Encounters of the Third Kind.

All day long I waited to watch it.

I made a sumptious repast so we could dine while enjoying this epic movie.   (okay, technically it was brown rice and salad)

We settled in.

The movie started.

"This isn't the movie," I complained.

"Yes, yes it is, just be patient," said Mr. Jenny.

I was patient for at least two minutes.   "No, it's not the movie.   Where are the potatoes?   Where is the da da da duh da music?   I don't remember any of this.  Where is..."

"Ssssshhh," Mr. Jenny interrupted.  "This IS the movie, just be patient."

 

Patient.   Schmacient.

I watched it. 

I pondered.  How can Terri Garr look almost exactly the same now as then?

I giggled over the appliances.

I debated how 35 years could have elapsed since I first saw that movie.

But I didn't remember hardly any of it.

I waited for Richard Dreyfuss to shape mashed potatoes into a mountain!

(blogger won't let me load the u-tube video but it will start if you click on the bowl of potatoes)

 

And he did!

He really did!

I remembered that part perfectly.

Okay, I didn't remember anything else about that movie perfectly...except the potatoes and throwing bushes through the kitchen window.

But still.

But still...I kinda/sorta remembered the movie.

Which goes to prove that I'm not nearly as absent minded as I think I am.

Perhaps I'm not really getting forgetful in my old age.

Perhaps there is hope that I will someday remember to leave the house with my wallet AND my car keys at the same time.

Perhaps someday I, too, will age as gracefully as Terri Garr.

Okay.   That's not gonna happen...but still.

If I can remember some actual scenes from a 35 year old movie...

 

...anything is possible.

 

 

Welcome to week ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY FIVE of Saturday Centus.

PROMPT:  "Words can be puzzling..." 
WORD COUNT -  Not to exceed 104  (including the prompt)
STYLE OF WRITING - Any
PICTURES - Any Additional

The regular restrictions apply: PG, no splitting of the prompt, play nicely and visit the other links, please.

Please display my link button or just a hyper-link back to Saturday Centus. Be careful to link your SC URL to the Linky and not just link to your main blog.

E-mail me directly with ???'s or ask your question in a comment and I will do my best to get back to you as soon as possible.

Feel free to link up anytime between now and next Saturday.

It's only words...

This little story is linked to week 123 of Saturday Centus. The prompt is in bold. It is exactly 109 words (100 words PLUS the 9 word prompt) and to be perfectly honest, this is not where I planned to go with this writing.   It's a bit macabre.   To read other work using the same prompt, just click here.

What is that song?

 What was that song?

Can’t you see me trying to sing here?

 Can’t you see I’m still in here?

 La la la… “It’s only words.   And words are all I have”...

 Please.

Please just look at me.

 Touch my hand.  Maybe you will feel the words you can’t hear my screaming inside my head.

That book!   What was that book about the paraplegic guy and the Morse code?

Damn it!

 What was that book?

 Damn it!

 Can you see I’m in here?

 Can’t anybody hear me?

 Please, please, please…

 …don’t.

 Don’t do it.

Please.

“I'm so sorry.  She’s gone.   You can pull the plug now…”