Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Lately I find myself...

…wishing I could remember the dreams and aspirations of my childhood.
 
 
 Some days I can feel them, like delicate translucent butterflies, dancing around the edges of my consciousness.
 
 I reach out to hold their fragile flutterings…
 
 …but the gossamer edges of their existence slips from my grasp and they dance away on a breeze or a whim.
 
 If I could only remember them…
 
 I would carefully write each one on a tiny slip of paper in indelible ink and fold them into the safety of a little glass jelly jar,
 
 …airtight and safe…
 
 
 …to keep them from slipping away, yet again.
 
 
 I wonder what might happen if I took that tightly sealed jar-of-my-heart and planted it…
 
 Timothy Green-like…
 
 In a garden.
 
In  rich, fragrant soil that smells of the future and the past.
 
 If I were to cover that small canning jar with little bits of moist, crumbly loam until it was buried deep and true...
 
...would those dreams grow again?
 
 Or would they simply disintegrate with time and eventually disappear again?
 
 When do the dreams become the past and not the possibility?
 
 Really.
 
 I’m not sure how this happens.
 
Or when it happens.
 
 
Or even if it happens to everyone.
 
...
 
...
 
 Tonight I have placed a little jelly jar, here on the edge of my desk.
 
I see it sparkle.
 It's emptiness entices me to fill it with tiny bits of paper scrawled with those dreams and aspirations.
 
 I just can’t quite remember what to write on those slips of paper.
 
 In the meantime, though, just so the jar isn’t empty…
 
 I shall put into it a tiny rock  given to me by our youngest Granddaughter for safekeeping.
 
 And an errant marble shot through with sky blue and sunset red.
 
 And a purple rock with the texture and sheen of mercury.
 
 I will fill this  empty little jar with my life as it is now…
 
…and someday I will remember those dreams.
 
And aspirations.
 
 And I will hold them tenderly in my hand.
 
 And I will dream them again.
post signature

21 comments:

Pondside said...

*sigh*
Beautiful thoughts. I can hear the yearning but also the satisfaction of having that empty jar beside you and a contribution from a beloved grandchild.
It's never too late. Fill the jar, keep dreaming and fulfilling those dreams.

Karen S. said...

A most lovely and dear hearted post, and one I think we all feel more often then we may care to admit. I just adored Timothy Green, and didn't want him to leave the screen- or earth either for that matter!

Ms. A said...

One of the only dreams I can remember from my childhood days, was to be a mother. (yes, even as a very young girl) Well, I realized that dream, quite early and promptly forgot any other dreams I may have had. I was too busy raising kids. Now, I can't remember five minutes ago, much less any other dreams I may have had.

bluegrassnotes said...

Lovely.

Jo said...

it is never too late ... fill that jar with those dreams ... and believe in possibilities once again!

Jenny Short said...

Just this week I was remembering lying in the grass looking up at the clouds twisting and rolling over as they floated by in the warm summer skies of Texas. I was a dreamer then and still am. I think I'll get my own jelly jar. xo Jenny

vivian said...

so thought provoking! I dont know if I even had any real dreams for my future. I was never one to think about it. isnt that funny or is it a little sad? life just happened.. there wasnt any real planning. but I always had unrealistic wishes.. I still do! lol! you know, like I wish I was a millionaire, I wish I could wiggle my nose and be somewhere... those kind of crazy things. I just dont remember even thinking as a teenager... (I was pretty much a mess as a teen!) anyways.. great post girlfriend!
have a happy day!
xoxo

Terra said...

Jenny, holding on to the past and embracing the present - a forever struggle. I love your jar. I love what you are putting in it because today is the day you have and tomorrow and the day after and somehow - someway they have got to be whats important.

JDaniel4's Mom said...

I love that the jar is waiting for wonderful dreams. I love this idea!

Theresa said...

Beautifully said! Fill that jar up my friend, HUGS!

Lmkazmierczak said...

Well said♫...Dreams get pushed aside to take care of the practical demands that life throws, but underneath it all, they still exist and can be resurrected by revisiting your memories and using that 'just do it' attitude....love your jar to jar you to action♪

J. Kwiatkowski-Schuler said...

I've always had that same stubborn dream to make art. Sometimes I would like a new dream.

Betty (picture circa 1951) said...

So many things have happened in my life that were never in my dreams and I was a full time day dreamer...thus the name of my blog.

As a child I day dreamed about being an elevator operator. True story. But, my dream died with self service elevators. (I guess I'm dating myself here.)

Naperville Now said...

sniff. lovely.

Ann said...

great photos, and post.

I might just do this in my class today.
Did I have dreams?
I was perhaps 8, my neighbor's son went to Canada on a scholarship to become a doctor.

I wanted to go to Canada to see the snow. This was tucked in a jar in my head.
Strangely, I did go to Canada and see the snow.

Pat Tillett said...

Beautiful thoughts and writing! You are multi-talented...

The Quintessential Magpie said...

Jenny, I have absconded with an IPAD and for some reason, I couldn't see anything the post said because there was writing all over it. BUT I perservered so I can tell you how much Ilove and miss you. I do, my friend. You are the best, and I want to wish you a Happy Fall. Still no 'puter, but I will blog again some day. I'm the eternal optimist.

XO,

Sheila

The Quintessential Magpie said...

I had to read that again and make sure I said the BEST and not he BEAST. I make horrible typos on this thing. I can't see because the print is miniscule. SP. LOVE YOU.

Annesphamily said...

This is such a lovely idea! I think you are sweet and so creative!

Personalized Sketches and Sentiments said...

Beautiful post...and love the idea of adding those dreams into the jar. And what special treasures to start with... how fun it will be to look back on and to see the dreams that have come true.

Blessings & Aloha!

letscutthecrap said...

So beautiful. Well done!