Friday, September 28, 2012

Appliance nirvan-wah!

BEFORE I BEGIN THIS TOTALLY IMPORTANT POST (gack!) I WANT TO TELL YOU I AM DOING TWO GIVEAWAYS NEXT WEEK...ON MONDAY AND TUESDAY BOTH!   Yes, one involves flavored coffee but the other is a fun announcement for our family.  I've just been waiting for the prize to come in the mail!)

Ahem.   So here's the regularly scheduled programming.

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Some months back, my little food processor died a ghastly death.

It involved grinding noises, a blade spinning awry...

...gulp.

I buried it.

Ceremonially, in my trash, where all broken small appliances are interred.

And I remained chopper-less.

Life became more difficult.

Onions and I became enemies.

I can barely bear to discuss the chopping of hot peppers.

Sigh.

Until last week.

I saw my salvation!

A lime-green mini food processor sitting sweetly on the clearance end cap at Target.



The moment our eyes met, it began murmuring enticements like, "I am a fine chopper, baby!" and "Hey, I'm willing to grind for you."

So I had to buy it.

I took it home, unpacked it, and put it happily on my kitchen counter.

Yesterday I decided to use the little beauty.

I had a big pile of onions and peppers to mince up and I figured it was time to make that little  appliance earn it's keep.

I plugged it in.

And tried to take the top off.

Hmmm...

I tugged and pulled.

The top stayed firmly on.

I got the directions out and read them.   No luck.

Fortunately, I was going to Target for another errand, so I packed up the little chopper and took it to the service counter.

"I would like to replace this," I explained, "The top is wedged on."

The cashier was nice and fortunately there was another lime green one left in the clearance section.

I brought it home.

I plugged it in.

The darned top would not come off again.

"What are the odds of this?" I grumbled.   The pile of peppers and onions taunted me.   "You have to cut us with a knife.  Nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah!", they sneered.



I read the directions again.

I pulled again, with a slight twisting motion.

"For crying out loud," I said, "It is ridiculous that two Kitchen-aid food processors aren't working.  Grrrr!"

I called the Kitchen-Aid assistance number.

And got a live person.

I told her my problem.  I told her I thought it must be pretty poor design if I had just experienced two defective products.

She told me she was sorry.

She continued, 'After you remove the packing tape, the lid won't turn at all?"

Packing tape?

Tape?

I put my reading glasses on and looked really, really closely.

Tape.

Darned clear tape.

Three pieces holding the top securely to the bottom.

Arrrrrggggh.

"Ummmm..." I said.

"Ummmmmm...well, hold on just a second."

I peeled the tape off.

The top of the processor lifted off easily.

"Ummmm....got it," I mumbled, "Thanks so much."

She finished our call cheerily, "Anything else I can help you with today?"

"Ummm...no....I think I've got it, thanks so much."

And after that.

Well.

After that the peppers and onions didn't stand a chance.

God Bless my powerful little lime green food processor.

I'm think I'm going to head to Target again today.

To buy stronger reading glasses.


I'll let you know if there's any more choppers on clearance. 

You're on your own for tape removal, though.

Sigh...

post signature

24 comments:

Lois' Laughlines said...

I do feel you girl. I returned a pair of shoes one because they didn't fit, only to be told by the sales clerk that I need to remove the tissue paper in the toe of the shoe first. Nice to know that I am not alone.

J. Kwiatkowski-Schuler said...

Would it have killed them to tint the tape? This is clearly their fault. Glad your cooking is 'no more tears'!

skoots1mom said...

you're ME! hahahahah! I've so done that!

Carol said...

I am there with ya!! I use to tease my Mother (whom was a seamstress) when she could no longer thread the needle on the sewing machine and would make me do it for her...sadly, yesterday I could not see to thread my sewing machine needle. I'm totally there with ya!

Terra said...

I am not a fan of the way things are packaged these days. It can be so frustrating.

Terra said...

I am not a fan of the way things are packaged these days. It can be so frustrating.

Linda @ A La Carte said...

Not being able to see is not fun! Glad you got some 'expert' help in the tape removal and now for those stronger glasses....

Lorrie Orr said...

HAHAHA! I can totally see myself doing this.
Have a great weekend, Jenny. Chop away.

JDaniel4's Mom said...

I hope it is working well now!

Ames said...

Hi Jenny you make me laugh.

It's All Connected said...

Thanks for today's laugh! ~ Maureen

Jo said...

gawd, i have done similar things ... and now, not just the eyes, it's the ears ... I have one good one ... so now i feel like a proper old crone ... lol! Enjoy your new chopper ... and glasses!

upinthecosmos said...

LMAO!! I've totally done the same thing! Well, I didn't take it back or call cause I'm lazy so I eventually figured it out after a few days on my own. Wait, I must not be THAT lazy then huh? LOL!

Pat Tillett said...

Oh man! I'd love to laugh at what you did, but I've done things like that more often than I'd like to admit.

Ms. A said...

I can't do ANYTHING close, without my reading glasses, so had they not been on, I would have probably been in the same boat you were!

Betty (picture circa 1951) said...

I think I automatically would have done the same thing. I find more and more products are difficult to open and wouldn't have even looked for tape. I'm not sure if my hands are getting weaker or if things are just more difficult to open nowadays.

Jeanie said...

I would loved to have heard what the customer service folks at Target were saying about the lady who brought back the cute little lime green food processor with the top "wedged on". BTW, when you get your new glasses, before you take them back because they are blurry-check for one of those sticky label things they sometimes put on the glass. :)

Annesphamily said...

Jenny you can spin a story! I love it!

Personalized Sketches and Sentiments said...

hahah!!! Love this! Thank goodness for customer service! (hm...kinda sounds like this has been an issue that has been called in before...)

Blessings & Aloha!
"catching up with your wonderful posts!"

Maggie M said...

Sweet Jenny you have a gift to bring laughter to others and you sure do it well. I am sorry about the chopper top issue but thank you for the great laugh this morning. Glad you found that tape and removed it from where it loved giving you a hassle. Hugs and have a great weekend.

Pondside said...

This is something that I have actually done, but haven't gone so far as to call a help desk - just been glad that no one was around to have seen my struggles! You are a hoot!

Laurie Ritchey said...

OK, my morning started with a smile and escalated into a laugh! Thank you for sharing this. I love it! I can laugh, because I recently had work done my car. When I picked it up the accelrator seemed to be stuck. The mechanic was closed, so I fearfully drove home, with my foot on the break. The next morning, I returned to the mechanic and left my car for more work. I barely got back to the office before the mechanic called to tell me that the floor mat had been stuck on top of the accelerator, and my car was ready for pickup!!! laurie

Heather said...

This is so funny!! It's something I'm sure I would have done myself!

Judie said...

You're been hanging with me way too long, Jenny. Or maybe it's the other way around!