Partial Anxiety

Okay.

That's a lie.

I actually had total, full-on, partial anxiety this morning.

I went to get my partials fitted to fill in the empty spots of all the molars I've had to have pulled.

Partials.

Accck.

I am too young for partials.

I am too poor for dental implants.

So...

The very sweet, twelve year old dental technician came into the room with two tortuous looking metal devices.

"Let's just slide this framework in and see how they fit!" she said in a sweet voice.

I opened my mouth like she had volunteered to feed me chocolate pudding.

She snapped the metal apparatus on my teeth.

ACCCCKKK!!!!

ACCCCCCCKKKKK!!!!

I started gagging.

"Take them out, take them out!" I kinda/sorta shouted in a kinda/sorta freaked out voice.

She quickly complied.

"Holy cats!" I panted. 

She told me to take a deep breath and open up again.

"Not so fast...I have a few questions...CanthesegodownmythroatcanIchokeonthesearetheygonna

pullmyfewremainingbackteethoutaretheysupposed togivemymouthclaustrophobiaisthis..."

I stopped.   Panting.   Trying not to hyperventilate.

Yeah.  I'm all kinds of dramatic at the dentist office when I am getting poked with metal and I feel I might choke to death.

The twelve year old dental technician was very kind.

She put her hand on my shoulder.

She showed me how the partials fit into my mouth.

She assured me it would be almost impossible to swallow them because I would choke and gag first.

Good to know!

We tried again.

ACCCCCKKKKK!!!!

I breathed through my nose.

She poked and prodded and then snapped the partial dentures in and out.   Each time she messed around with a little wire bendy thingy.  

Finally she was done bending wire.  She snapped them into my mouth again and with a proud look on her face she enquired, "So!  Does that feel better?"

Better?   Better?   Better than not having a mouthful of wire?

I think not.

Sigh.

We continued with the appointment with spray foam (bite impression) and more bending of metal.  Snap in.   Snap out.   Snap in.   Snap out.

Sigh.

"Next time you come back we'll have the teeth on the wire!" Miss Perky said, "Now, isn't that exciting?!"

I didn't answer her silly question.

Exciting?

I think not.

Sigh.

I'm a lot calmer now because I found someone to blame for my anxiety.

This whole hyperventilating, fear of metal thing is my parent's fault.

Growing up, we never had money for braces, so I am getting to experience 'metal mouth' late in life.  

Menopause.  

Empty nest.

Now metal mouth.

Sigh.

Partial anxiety.

Who knew?

I'm thinking it really wouldn't be that bad to be totally toothless.

Would it?

I could still eat chocolate pudding if I was...

And that wouldn't be totally/completely horrible.

Sigh...

Ooh! Oooh! OOOOOHHH!!!!

I have the BEST idea in the universe for a grant.

A grant.

You know?

When the government gives money to people to study obscure subjects.

Like when they gave a grant of almost a million dollars to study why there is a shortage of poetry in zoos?

Or when someone got a grant for over 175K to study the effects of cocaine on the mating habits of quail?

Sigh.

I have already conducted a prelimary study so that my grant application will have some credibility.

I think...

although I am not 100 percent certain...

that people who can roll their tongues...

CANNOT touch their tongues to their noses.

Let me give you a second to digest that incredible fact.

Seriously.

If you can roll your tongue you probably CANNOT touch your nose with your tongue.

I feel this subject is incredibly relevant to the world today and thus deserving of a government grant.

I'm thinking of applying for $10,000,000.00 to conduct this research.

I will, of course, pay each of you a princely sum to be my field researchers.

Although I have not, technically, applied for the grant yet, you can begin your part of the research now if you have time.

As soon as I get the government grant (I think I am going to insist that they pay me in cash versus a federal check) I will forward a box of cash to you!

This is exciting stuff, isn't it?

Tongue rolling and nose touching being possibly mutually exclusive!!!

Geez.

Who knew? 

Saturday Centus - Dog Days of Summer

 

Welcome to week ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTEEN of Saturday Centus.

The prompt this week is a picture prompt.  And this is going to be a rhyming week.

So...

Number of words: 100 words.

Style of writing: Poetry
Pictures: No additional

The regular restrictions apply: PG, no splitting of the prompt, play nicely and visit the other entries, any style or genre of writing you prefer. Please display my link button or just a hyper-link back to Saturday Centus. Be careful to link your SC URL to the Linky and not just link to your main blog.

E-mail me directly with ???'s or ask your question in a comment and I will do my best to get back to you as soon as possible.

Feel free to link up anytime between now and next Saturday.

Pay up...or else.

Please remit your payment promptly

We’re trying to be polite.

 But you’re a deadbeat through and through.

And we’re almost done being nice.

Please remit your payment promptly.

Please pay the piper’s due.

Twenty-four hours and all bets are off.

‘Vinnie’s’ coming after you.

Please remit your payment promptly.

Because…

We’re just about through with please.

And if you know what’s good for you…

And if you want to keep your knees…

Please remit your payment promptly.

Who says the mob is NOT polite?

But manners only go so far…

And paying your bill is quite polite.

And much, much safer for you...



This violent little story is for week 117 of Saturday Centus.   The prompt is in bold.   To read other stories built around this prompt, just click here.

Painted Alphabet - Letter K

Hello!  Today I have 2 K's share!   I think the top one might kinda/sorta be my favorite one so far.    

K

12 x 15

15 x 16

No stencils.   No stickers.  Handpainted with my own layout.

You can see other signs in this series by clicking on 'Painted
Alphabet' in my sidebar.

Thanks for stopping by.   To visit other links to the letter "K", just click here.

PS.  I just finished reading the letter "I" links!   Starting J next!   I'm coming, I'm coming!   Thanks for your patience!


Click here for my Etsy store.

Alphabe-Thursday letter K

Good morning class. Welcome to round five of Alphabe-Thursday!


We will be kicking up our heels for the letter:


Please link directly to your Alphabe-Thursday URL (if you don't know how to do this let me know!) and please continue to visit the five links before and after your link and leave a comment. Minimum of 10 links visited please. You can visit more if you like, of course.

I'm still behind on visiting but I am part way through the letter I now!  I will be by!!!!!

If you have any difficulties with your link, please make sure to include the number of the link when you e-mail me. It is really difficult for me to find you easily otherwise.

If you have any questions about Alphabe-Thursday or problems doing your link just post it in a comment or send me an e-mail. I'll do my best to help you as quickly as I can.

The McLinkey will be live from 1:00 pm MST time Wednesday afternoon in an effort to assist our lovely "friends across the pond" and continue through 10:00 am MST time Friday morning!

And remember.... link back to this post, you need to be registered as a follower of my blog, PG posts only, and visit at least 10 other students (perhaps the 5 students before and after your post). The links will stay live after the final post deadline has passed so you can even wait and visit over the weekend or whenever you have more time.

Please share your killer "K" post now!

Speaking to your Heart

I remember many years ago hearing a great new song on the radio.

In those days of limited allowance, no computer and no i-pods, I'd have to wait by the radio, listening intently,so I could listen to it again...

The second  it would start playing I'd call up my best friend and play it for her.

When I saved up enough allowance, I'd buy the 45.

And play it over and over and over again until I knew every word and every musical note by heart.

Or at least I'd play it over and over and over again, until my mom yelled, 'Turn that stupid song off!"

Well...

I heard a great new song.

New to me anyway.

It speaks right to my heart.

I've been listening to it over and over again.

So I thought I'd call you up and play it for you.

If turn up your volume and  click here we can listen to it together.

Can't Go Back

by Rosi Golan

Some things you can't go back to

Some things need left alone

Don't mess with the memories of a life passed on

Oh the tumbling reservations at the heart of my mistakes

Oh some things you can't go back to cause you let them slip away

I don't wanna be a witness to a path that's overgrown

I don't wanna see this house not be a home

'Cause time has taken toll on what we couldn't see

No I don't wanna be a witness to the end of you and me

How am I gonna make each moment better than the last

How am I gonna make it better if I can't go back

Oh the tumbling reservations at the heart of my mistakes

Oh some things you can't go back to cause you let them slip away

Oh some things you can't go back to...