Wednesday, March 27, 2013

If I had to choose between...

...fatal attraction or just the annoying kind...

...to be honest...

I guess I'd choose the annoying kind, even though I've only brushed against the other kind once.

It was my English high-school teacher.  I'm  pretty sure he was into the whole fatal kind.  Or perhaps stalking and ambushing a students car at night was just a teacher being really, really conscientious.

Shudder.

Wait a second, okay?

I have to lock my office door.

Yeah.

I know it was like forty years ago but you never know when those mysterious powers of attraction may come into play again.

Shudder.

BUT...

I wasn't planning to go into the fatal attraction thing with this post.

I was actually wanting to talk about attraction of another kind.

A super, super annoying kind.

Okay.

Are you ready?

It's this stuff.

 
Every year I tussle with this attraction.
 
I'm not sure what's in my physiology that makes this stuff stick to me like glue...
 
It's probably the same thing that causes me to scream and jump from electric shock every time I touch a shelf in a store.
 
But Easter grass.
 
Yeah.
 
It's annoyingly attracted to me.
 
I spend some time each year making little 'long distance Easter Egg hunts" for family and friends.
 
The 'hunt' involves a bunch of plastic eggs filled with random sugar-filled stuff and sometimes a little cash.
 
 
To be honest, though, I don't think it's much of a challenge for the recipient ... sigh...
 
But...
 
The 'hunt' involves ME filling a box with Easter grass and filled eggs!
 
Finally throwing a card into the filled box, I attempt to seal it. 
 
The attraction part makes the sealing part pretty frustrating.   Grass sticks to my hands and arms and any other body part that comes in contact with the filled box. 
 
Elbows. 
 
Knees.  
 
Eyebrows.
 
Hey.   Don't look surprised.   I am a full-in kind of packing girl!
 
The more I try to push it off me, the more it sticks.
 
The more it sticks, the more annoyed it makes me.
 
The more I get, the more the grass is attracted to me.
 
It's a vicious cycle.
 
I'm feeling like there should be a support group for this.
 
I can see my first meeting now.
 
"Hi, I am Jenny.  I allow myself to be victimized by Easter Grass.   All colors.   Even the weird yellow grass."
 
Maybe that would help lessen the grasses attraction to me.
 
Or maybe it would just make me look even weirder.
 
Regardless...
 
I am finally done packing the boxes.
 
The grass is sticking out here and there from the tape.
 
I can see it want to start wiggling toward me.
 
Sigh...
 
Time for Mr. Jenny to make a post office run.
 
And time for me to get out the tissue paper to wrap everyone elses Easter basket stuff.
 
Man.
 
Must life always be so complicated.
 
(mwahahahahahahaha!)
post signature

16 comments:

noexcuses said...

I think someone should come up with edible candy grass. Then, it would be fun to pick it off of our elbows, sleeves, etc., and treat ourselves!

Janie Junebug said...

I don't attract anything except Elvis Aaron Schwarz and doggies in need of a home, but then, I don't have grandlittles in need of Easter baskets.

Love,
Janie

Jo said...

i love that stuff ... granted it sticks to everything and sheds more than a dried out christmas tree at times ... but it is so pretty and bright and happy! enjoy you time with it!!!

Gail said...

I wish I could rediscover that excitement again.

Debra @ Homespun said...

LOL like TREE TINSEL AND CAT HAIRS! :)

Melinda said...

It's your magnetic personality that causes this issue!!

M :)

Stef said...

Hello, my name is Stef and I am also stalked by my high school engli....no wait. I mean that stuff sticks to me like a child begging for candy.

Amy said...

:) My mom had an art teacher like that. Shudder.
You are the sweetest person I know, sacrificing yourself to the plastic Easter grass to make someone else happy. So sweet!
You have got to watch this. Glitter magnet. You reminded me of it and it made me laugh.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJbYMHLmamE

Pat Tillett said...

Great writing Jenny! The only thing I seem to attract is calories...

When I see anything relating to Easter, I can only think of Peeps. I love Peeps! What did we used to call stalking back in the day?

Pondside said...

Maybe we really WERE separated at birth because I have the same, strange attraction for Easter Grass. Time was, you could get the old-fashioned kind, made from paper, but now it's all from some sort of shiny stuff and clings to me all over!
Oh....and when I was over 40, at a dinner, who should come up to my table but my high school Spanish teacher. He told the entire group that if he hadn't been married when he was teaching me, that he'd have waited and asked me to marry him.
Very weird!

Ms. A said...

I do NOT like Easter grass, or the needles from Christmas trees... real, or fake. And it always ends up everywhere, even months down the road!

Maureen said...

That's really a creepy story with the teacher! Of course, if you have some kind of magnetic pull with men and Easter grass, it's quite understandable.

Bee said...

I don't know why, but I always thought that Easter grass that's any color other than green is unnatural. As though green Easter grass is natural, right? ;-)

P.S. - I think I finally fixed the commenting thing.

mub said...

Oh gosh I'm crying from laughter! We stopped buying that grass for that exact reason. I like to get the corrugated paper shreds now instead. They're far less fatally attracted to me!

Linda @ A La Carte said...

Jenny I hate that grass....days, weeks, months later it's still hiding in my house! It clings to you cause you are electric!! Now that I have a Gran of my own all that grass and Easter stuff is back!
hugs, Linda

Busy Bee Suz said...

ONLY you Jenny. ONLY you. :)
I think you are busier than the Easter Bunny himself....Do you suppose you might find him at your meeting?
XO