Mr. Jenny and I took a teensy little trip up to Winslow, Arizona over the weekend.
Yes, that Winslow.
And yes, we stood on the corner and looked for the girl in the flat bed Ford. And were all kinds of impressed with the mural there. See the eagle on the left?
On the way back, I was blathering away as I occasionally do about something or other...
And I said, "Well, I just have to assume..."
And Mr. Jenny replied, "Well...you know what happens when you assume, right?"
And I said, "You know that is a really dumb remark...do people use that remark for other words that end in 'ume'?" and Mr. Jenny said, 'Huh?'.
And I said, "Well, okay, let's see...hmmm... hmmm...for instance! If someone uses the word 'consume' do people say, 'yeah, yeah, that makes a cons out of 'U' and me?"
And Mr. Jenny said, "That doesn't even make any sense!"
And I said, "What about the words 'costume, exhume and legume'? Do people say that makes a cost or an ex or a leg out of 'U' and me? I think not!"
And Mr. Jenny said, "I have no idea what the heck you're talking about. Maybe you should just look out the window for a little while."
And I said, "What about the words 'perfume, presume and volume'? Have you ever heard anyone say that makes a perf or a pres or a vol out of 'U' and me?"
And Mr. Jenny just sighed.
And sighed again.
Sometimes I think Mr. Jenny just doesn't 'get' me, you know?
I closed my eyes and wracked and wracked my brain but I couldn't think of another word that ended in 'ume'.
And then Mr. Jenny said, "Look! Look! It's snowing!"
As if I would be so easily distracted.
I almost didn't fall for it. We live in Arizona. Snow? Besides, I needed to concentrate really, really hard to think of some more words that ended in 'ume'. You know? So I could continue to irritate him.
When I looked outside it was snowing! And snowing like crazy.
So we stopped and threw snowballs and in the process I forgot all about thinking of other words that ended in 'ume'.
Seriously. Now that I'm thinking about it I think Mr. Jenny might have been right.
But don't tell him please.
There is an infinitesimal chance that my thought process might have been flawed.
As if the word legume could make a leg out of 'U' and me.
What a ridiculous idea.
That's what happens when you have a brain that is always totally and completely off on a tangent.
It's a tough job.
But somebody has to do it.
PS. If you're too young to remember the lyrics to the 1972 Eagles song, 'Take it Easy', you're too young to read a post with the word ass in it. Please close your eyes and repeat after me, "I did not read this post, I did not read this post." Thank you.