Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Step aside 'White Coat Anxiety'...

 
There's a new kid in town...
 
...wreaking even more havoc with my blood pressure than you do.
 
...
 
...
 
After closing my eyes at the scales as I do each time I visit my doctor...
 
(denial...you know...not just a river in Egypt anymore...)
 
I went into the exam room.
 
The scale torturer doctor's assistant person followed me in there.
 
I hopped up on the table and held out my arm for the blood pressure cuff.
 
"Not so fast," she said.   "I need you to stand up first."
 
I was puzzled, but I obeyed.
 
Of course I obeyed.
 
These people have NEEDLES!
 
The scale torturer doctor's assistant person rummaged in her pocket for a moment and then pulled out a...
 
Prepare yourself!
 
GASP!
 
Tape measure.
GASP!GASP!
 
A.
 
Tape.
 
Measure.
 
"I need to measure your waist," she informed me.
 
I stepped back.
She stepped forward with the.
Tape.
Measure.
 
And.
 
She measured my waist.
 
GASP!GASP!GASP!

She wrote down the measurement.
 
And then took out the blood pressure cuff.
 
I climbed up on the table.
 
"Your blood pressure seems a little high," she said after the humming and squishing stopped.
 
"Ya think?" I thought sarcastically.
 
Of course I didn't say it out loud.
 
These people have NEEDLES!
 
When I finally regained my ability to speak out loud, I asked, "What's with the waist measuring thing?"
 
"Oh, it's our new policy.  Our insurance carriers are demanding it."
 
Seriously.
 
I hope the insurance carriers are prepared for the increase in blood pressure medication as a result of this decision.

And I hope I don't have to go back to the doctor for a long time.
 
I don't know if my heart can stand that amount of stress.
 
GASP!GASP!
A.
Tape.
Measure.
post signature

23 comments:

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

okay in all seriousness this ticks me off. I don't have a waist. I don't go in at 115lbs or 150lbs. I just don't. I am straight...except for these damn boobs I don't have a girlish figure. So do they charge me more now because I don't have a small waist of a woman of my height and weight and they assume I will cost them more? I hate insurance companies as much as the NRA. There is no common sense with either of them. Or a heart.

Pam Beers. said...

I'm with Peg as far as insurance companies are concerned. People are eating healthier and exercising more and are subsequently healthier. Insurance companies are looking for a reason to collect more money. I could go on and on about those creeps.

Amy said...

Wow. Do you think they'll do that all the time? Because if so... I'm going to push my stomach way way out for the first one, and then ask for a discount the next time when I suck it all back in again. Or just run around telling people I lost 6 inches on my waist since I visited my doc last time.

ain't for city gals said...

I went to the dentist last week and first the girl does a whole little physical...blood pressure..weight..everything. What the heck...I am at the dentist!!! All the while she is tap tap tapping in her computer..all going into a record somewhere never to be forgotten!! I will not go back but I fear it is happening everywhere!

Pondside said...

Yikes! Up here our medical insurance cards are being embedded in our driver's license, which brings up all sorts of worries.

Tatiana said...

ughhh, scary :/ I hate going to the doctor's too!

Esther Joy said...

Very interesting! By the way, I'm a nurse, and I still have white coat syndrome - even without the measuring tape!

Janie Junebug said...

Having my waist measured would probably send my BP sky high, and I tend to have such low blood pressure that some people question if I am still among the living.

Love,
Janie

Tracy Cook said...

It's big brother for you

Melinda said...

What will be next. I'm getting to the point of not being a fan of Dr's.

M :)

Jo said...

another reason to avoid the doctor's ... as if the scale wasnt torture enough!

Linda @ A La Carte said...

Ha! First they would have to FIND my waist to measure it...so there! Really this is just awful. I'm not going to the Dr. Just too scary!

hugs, Linda

Rita said...

OMG! They already know our ages and weight--what's next!!

pasqueflower said...

Good grief!!! One more reason to put off going to the doctor!

Anita said...

I never read the book, "1984," but it comes to mind as "Big Brother" continues to take over our lives.

Well, I glad you were obedient and submitted to the tape measurer. I wouldn't want you to get punished with a stab of the needle. :)

You're good at making a serious event, funny.

JDaniel4's Mom said...

Wow! I am so glad that didn't happen at my physical.

paula j said...

Yeah, my recent physical included a discussion of my BMI. Grrr!. But on the bright side, I found out I was an inch taller than I had thought all these years.

Carol Doggett said...

Don't fear the tape...fear the people with needles more! LOL

H said...

Thank you God for the National Health Service and please protect it from the Conservative Government (oxymoron).

lissa said...

I like that you named her 'the scale torturer doctor's assistant' - it's like a book title. perhaps there's a book there?

hope you have a sweet day.

Splendid Little Stars said...

What kind of torture will these insurance people think of next?!
YIKES!

letscutthecrap said...

Some people don't know how to organize a visit to the doctor. I'd be gasping near suffocation is my waist measurement were to be taken FIRST!

Lisa @ Two Bears Farm said...

Oh no! I don't even measure my own waist. I hope my doctor doesn't pick up this practice :-(