Friday, December 16, 2011

I am a genius...

...I know you might have already recognized that fact...

BUT...

Get ready to be even more impressed with me than usual!

Christmas.

Let's talk about that.

We haul out all of our stuff, decorate our houses, make a bunch of food for a bunch of people, sing and be joyful and then put all of our stuff back, right?

Am I right?

Okay.

Yeah. That was a rhetorical question. I know I am.

So.

I'm thinking next year I'm going to change things up.

Next year I'm going with self-undecorating Christmas decorations...

...made of food!

Think of it!

Not just candy garlands and trees!

Tinsel made of cooked spaghetti!


Marshmallow snowmen surrounded by a sparkling field of cottage cheese!


A meat Christmas tree!


Tree skirts could be made of fruit leather, centerpieces green beans, carrots and apples!

Can't you picture it now?

Guests would come to visit and you could simply hug them, direct them to a big pile of Christmas paper plates and napkins by the front door and invite them to graze.

No muss.

No fuss.

Oh sure, by Christmas Eve things would look a little ragged but you could just add a little more rum to the eggnog and nobody would even notice that someone picked all the bacon off the Christmas tree.

...

...

I can tell by your silence you love this idea!

I'm so pleased I could impress and amaze you with my genius!

And because I love you, man, I'm giving you these ideas absolutely free...at no charge whatsoever.

Because I'm cool like that.

And because it's Christmas.

And, hey...

That's what blog friends are for.

Sigh...

post signature

26 comments:

Wanderer said...

Once again...a much needed giggle first thing this morning! LOL!

vivian said...

Youre a nut! tgif and have a great weekend!
xoxo

Naperville Now said...

nothing says Christmas more than a tree decked in sausage. thanks for the laugh.

Jeanie said...

I love you too, man, but I'm thinking this creative decorating plan may need just a little more thought.

~dawn said...

lol seriously at the sausage tree
Hey - I've missed you girl

Kathy Felsted Usher said...

A meat tree!? I love it, at least the bacon part as long as it is crispy. I may have to use a clothespin rather than a pick so it won't crumble. Good idea.

Linda @ A La Carte said...

Jenny I think you are on to something here... :) thanks for the smile! love ya, Linda

Allie said...

You are soooo funny cousin!!

"Alone again.... naturally!" said...

Giggle....nothing says Christmas like coming to Jenny's and "grazing"!

Ms. A said...

I have an idea, too. Let's just skip Christmas altogether. No muss, no fuss. Okay, there's a little fuss, but only by the ones who love the holidays, even if I am outnumbered.

5thsister said...

ahem...I've heard that there's a fine line between genius and insanity. Me thinks you may be straddling that line! But I love it and love you and look forward to grazing upon the spaghetti tinsel. I'll pass on the meat tree but thanks anyway!

Karen S. said...

Oh now I know for sure, Jenny you do have the most perfect answer ever to Everything a girl really needs to know! Yes!.... Although,(always a but) I'm not so sure (given the animals that live, lying in wait of FOOD) at my house, and I haven't even included any humans to this situation...but!!! I fear (especially the meat tree) will not survive a day! Oh no! Guess I'll have to think this over so more!

Nonna Beach said...

I can do you 2 better...next year, go somewhere over Christmas that is already decorated or pay someone to put up all our decorations and then take them down after New Year. Can't you tell I'm a bit tired already ?

As for food as decor, if I visit you over the holidays next year, I'll be sure to eat BEFORE I visit !!!

Alli Blue said...

Bacon.

Ames said...

I...I ...uh ..I think I'm a little worried about you.I think you are having Lime green Le Creuset withdraws!!~Ames

anitamombanita said...

oh my oh my! My kind of decorations...you don't even need to recycle them!! You're a funny one, Mrs. Jenny.

Theresa said...

You ARE a genius, I already knew that! If I am coming to your house... I want to come AS SOON as you put the food decorations out:) Just sayin' Have a happy weekend dear Jenny, HUGS!

Dazee Dreamer said...

I'm thinking that you have come up with a great idea. and you could totally have a fire going in the fireplace so they can cook their meat over the flame. You're welcome.

Pat @ Mille Fiori Favoriti said...

You house would become a very popular place to visit if you had such yummy decorations, Jenny! lol!

Live, Love, Laugh, Write! said...

Nothing says "Christmas" like eating bacon with a hint of pine needles!

siggiofmaine said...

Bacon on the tree...like that idea.
Please be sure there is extra bacon decorations...I'll be there.
Peace and love,
Siggi in Downeast Maine

Pondside said...

Sardines, Jenny. You forgot to find a way to decorate with some nice, shiny sardines.
I should tell you that my DIL had some lovely macaroni decorations that the little ones made last year. When she went up to take them from the attic she found that mice had eaten through the box and there wasn't a scrap of decoration left - just a whole lot of evidence of mice activity (I'm sure you get the picture!)...you might not want to store any of this for another year!

Terra said...

I think I am going to barf. That was one of the nastiest thoughts I have ever read through, marshmallow snowmen sitting in a field of cottage cheese? Really Jenny? Couldn't it have just been a dusting of powdered sugar? Spagetti tinsel hanging from the tree? I would much prefer taffy pulled ever so thin...and instead of a meat tree with rotting bacon and ham I would use apples, oranges to decorate my tree and top it off with a beautiful pineapple straight from Lanai. My centerpieces? Beautiful breads and the wreath on the front door? Peanut butter and seeds for the birds...um, well...that might not be such a good idea on the front door...

thanks for the giggle!

Judie said...

And when it starts to smell, you can throw it out into the desert for the javelinas and coyotes! Brilliant!!

Nezzy said...

Ya got me rollin' here girl! Heeehehehehe!!!!

You are a blast!

God bless and have a fantastic weekend!!!

Country Dreaming said...

Ummmmmmm-No.
Take more time to think this one out! :) :) :)

Melinda