This is no longer a PG blog.
But, hey, I'm all about staying current...
...and this is no longer a PG world.
One of the last bastions of civility and PG-ness has gone over to the dark side.
I now find myself compass-less and I can no longer resist the pull to use sexual inuendo as entertainment.
Apparently, according to the Food Network anyway, food that is amazing is now known to give you a 'foodgasm'.
Heaven knows I've had some serious food moments over the years, but I never, ever considered those moments 'Harry Met Sally' 'foodgasms'. You know that movie, right? You know what I'm talking about, right?
Early one morning last week, I awoke Mr. Jenny to tell him about Food Network using a new "F" word.
He did not see the urgency in the conversation.
He did not recognize that the Food Network has, officially, stepped over the line of sacred PG-ness into the dark decay of STANDARD TV PROGRAMMING!
"What's next?" I inquired passionately at 2:52 AM. "Is the Hallmark Network going to start running ads for Lumber Liquidators informing you their wood products will give you a 'FLOORGASM'?!!!!"
Mr. Jenny didn't answer. I think he had gone back to sleep.
I poked him awake again. because, hey, this was an important conversation.
"OR," I questioned ominously, "Are malls going to advertise "STOREGASMS" OR high school algebra classes use the word "BOREGASM!" in their class descriptions!?!"
"Go ahead," Mr. Jenny said in a soft, sleepy voice.
"Go ahead and what?"
"Go ahead and do all the letters of the alphabet so we can both go back to sleep."
Coregasm, doorgasm, eeyoregasm, goregasm, loregasm, moregasm, poregasm, snoregasm...blah,blah, blah.
I hate to air our personal laundry here, but I'm pretty certain somewhere between poregasm and snoregasm, Mr. Jenny had one.
Ha! Haha! That was funny.
So I just lay in the dark thinking about this.
There's a lot of 'gasms' in the alphabet, aren't there? And those are only the rhyming ones.
I'm sorry to subject you to this non PG post...
I figured you'd want to know what was happening in the world.
And I figured, of course, you'd want to go along on my tangent through this.
I hope I figured right.
It's just that you're ominously silent.
You're not having a 'madgasm' are you?
Or an 'eyerollingasm'?
PS. I promise I have gotten this out of my system and shall write of it no more.
PPPS. I lied. Sorry.