Monday, July 23, 2012

I have crossed over to the dark side.


Sad.

But true.

This is  no longer a PG blog.

But, hey, I'm all about staying current...

...and this is no longer a PG world.

One of the last bastions of civility and PG-ness has gone over  to the dark side.  

I now find myself compass-less and I can no longer resist the pull to use sexual inuendo as entertainment.

Apparently, according to the Food Network anyway, food that is amazing is now known to give you a 'foodgasm'.

'Foodgasm'.

Geez.

Heaven knows I've had some serious food moments over the years, but I never, ever considered those moments 'Harry Met Sally' 'foodgasms'.   You know that movie, right?   You know what I'm talking about, right?



Early one morning last week, I awoke Mr. Jenny to tell him about Food Network using a new "F" word.

He did not see the urgency in the conversation.

He did not recognize that the Food Network has, officially, stepped over the line of sacred PG-ness into the dark decay of STANDARD TV PROGRAMMING!

"What's next?" I inquired passionately at 2:52 AM.  "Is the Hallmark Network going to start running ads for Lumber Liquidators informing you their wood products will give you a 'FLOORGASM'?!!!!"



Mr. Jenny didn't answer.  I think he had gone back to sleep.

I poked him awake again. because, hey, this was an important conversation.

"OR," I questioned ominously, "Are malls going to advertise "STOREGASMS" OR high school algebra classes use the word "BOREGASM!" in their class descriptions!?!"

"Go ahead," Mr. Jenny said in a soft, sleepy voice.

"Go ahead and what?"

"Go ahead and do all the letters of the alphabet so we can both go back to sleep."

So...

I did.

Coregasm, doorgasm, eeyoregasm, goregasm, loregasm, moregasm, poregasm, snoregasm...blah,blah, blah.

I hate to air our personal laundry here, but I'm pretty certain somewhere between poregasm and snoregasm, Mr. Jenny had one.


Ha!  Haha!   That was funny.  

Right?

So I just lay in the dark thinking about this.

And...

Gosh.  

There's a lot of 'gasms' in the alphabet, aren't there?   And those are only the rhyming ones.

Geez.

Geez.

I'm sorry to subject you to this non PG post...

BUT!!!

I figured you'd want to know what was happening in the world.

And I figured, of course, you'd want to go along on my tangent through this.

...

...

I hope I figured right.

Right?

It's just that you're ominously silent.

Uh oh.

You're not having a 'madgasm' are you?

Or an 'eyerollingasm'?

Hee hee.

Sighgasm...

PS.  I promise I have gotten this out of my system and shall write of it no  more.

PPS.  Agreegasm?

PPPS.  I lied.  Sorry.

PPPPS.   Gasm.

post signature

28 comments:

Tina said...

Hi Ms. Jenny,
Foodgasms are real, and I'm sorry you've been shocked by them. They are NOT just "oh that was an amazing bite of food". It's the sensation you get when you taste something and all your salivary glands immediately get in on the fun and explode in your mouth. Hope that wasn't too far over the PG-13 scale...just thought that since the topic was so umm...new to you, I'd share my knowledge.
I'm a total Food Network addict. It's rare I don't watch a cooking show. Maybe an old episode of The Office, or Frasier, otherwise it's FN.

Tina @ Life is Good

It's All Connected said...

I'm having a laughgasm over this post! I can't wait to hear how they incorporate gasm into the Disney Channel. Then, we can all explain what it means to the kiddies!

Linda @ A La Carte said...

Oh my Jenny! You have done it now. I will be seeing 'gasms' with all sorts of words now and will have to wake up Mr ALC in the middle of the night to discuss boregasms, etc! Still I do find it amusing! Hugs, Linda

Dana @ Bungalow'56 said...

It made me laugh Jenny.

Slamdunk said...

Clever Jenny. It will difficult to resist attaching gasm to anything and everything for the rest of the day.

JDaniel4's Mom said...

This was such a fun read!

Theresa said...

I think you are nuts:). Or should I say nuts-gasm:). Enjoy your day. Hugs

Amy said...

Seriously, you gave scarred all of us. We will all go the rest of the day attaching gasm onto new words. You're post is a bloggasm! So funny.

Ms. A said...

I'll have what you're having! Actually, any kind of gasm would be a change of pace for me.

Judie said...

Here's one for you--"musigasm!!!"

This idea is nothing new. For MANY years, Wagner's "Liebestod" from his opera "Tristan and Isolde" has been called Wagner's musical orgasm. If you get a chance to hear it, you will know EXACTLY why!!!

Terra said...

I am still laughing at the eeyoregasm - Really - if that was possible - it would be a truly grumpygasm with a side of pessismisticgasm and I am struggling to find anygasm in that!

NatureGirl said...

Bwah! Hahahaha!

Naperville Now said...

sighgasm may be by newest, most favorite word. thank you!

Busy Bee Suz said...

Well, considering what I've seen on tv lately...I will still consider this to be PG 13! LOL!!

Karen S. said...

There's my old Jenny (and I don't mean that in the sense of old and not young) I mean the happy and funny...gets me laughing where it almost hurts! :) Ha! Ha! Welocome back! Your're just up to your old funny stuff today! I loved that Meg Ryan moment too, and I read that Meg came up with that scene all by herself and they ran with it! Of course!!!

Betty (picture circa 1951) said...

I'm having a laughgasm. (And spell check doesn't like it.)

Melinda said...

You are the only one I know that would be awake in the middle of the night pondering this over!

Ha! Ha! Ha!

M :)

anitamombanita said...

Blogasm. Yes. That's what this post was! :)

Pondside said...

We're all adults here, Jenny, so we can handle this, rather risque, post.
Just so no one has a Alpha-gasm please!

Elise Ann Wormuth said...

Love it and love the comments -- both made me laugh --

Kim said...

I found this post hard to ignoregasm.

Judie said...

Hmmm--Mine is the only comment that wasn't funny or clever. I guess I was having a boregasm when I wrote it. Check my post today. I have some cool jewelry on it from the artist who has bought our house!!!

letscutthecrap said...

I am having a gigglegasm. Much too funny. This post is a hypergasm and I doubt will be easily forgotten.

Ames said...

O. I thought you really went over to the darkside.

Just in case you didn't get it...that was sarcasim.~Ames

Cathy said...

hmmm....that was the blog I was searching for all these years! Thank you! Nice work!! Really!! I got lot of work to do (to read all those stuff I dont wont to miss anything!) So, I welcome me and send you all greetings from Greece! Kathy

Pat Tillett said...

Blogasm?

That was too funny Jenny...

Pat @ Mille Fiori Favoriti said...

Your are hysterical, Jenny, and this post made me laugh so hard Do you believe i had some private e-mails today complaining about my post today about menopause? Imagine if I wrote about "gasms"...lol!

Sue said...

How I love your particular brand of insanity.

=)