I used to be a whiz at technology.
Don't roll your eyes.
Or at least I thought I was.
When we got back from vacation, my desktop computer had been fried.
In a bad way.
Not in a tasty way with golden brown tempura batter and some kind of tasty, caloric dip.
Mr. Jenny took it to our computer repair guy.
The computer guy said, "Hmmm...your computer is fried."
He, however, did not make any reference to food.
Probably why he's skinny and I'm not.
He did say he could move things from the hard-drive...and Mr. Jenny assured me my computer would be just the same when everything was transferred over.
So Mr. Jenny spent wayyyy too much time looking at Best Buy ads, searching on-line, etc. to find the perfect computer for me.
The tech guy did his transfer thing.
Mr. Jenny hooked it up for me.
Mr. Jenny lied.
"What is all this weird stuff on my computer?" I asked.
"That's all your stuff," he said.
"This isn't all my stuff! Where are my programs? Where is Outlook Express? Where is Dreamweaver? Where is publisher? Where is..."
Mr. Jenny interrupted me. "All the software from your old computer is obsolete. This is the new software for the same thing."
"This isn't the same stuff as my old computer!" I shouted in panic. "Nothing is the same! How do I even get e-mails? What is going on! You told me it would be the same! This is going to fry my brain!"
Yeah. I'm all kinds of calm in panic-type situations.
So I very politely asked Mr. Jenny to close the door to my office and give me some time alone with my new computer.
I am always polite when I am feeling extremely hostile.
So far I have resisted throwing the computer through the window.
So far I have resisted taking a hammer to it.
So far I have resisted not googling new and more creative swear words to express my displeasure.
BUT, I ask you...
Whyohwhyohwhyohwhyohwhy do people have to screw around with software?
Version 1.0 works perfectly fine.
Whyohwhyohwhyohwhyohwhy are we so dependent on our computers that when they crash we can't even find addresses?
I'm thinking I might have to go back to the old way of doing things.
Letters with stamps. Ledger sheets. Adding machines. Address books with 40 re-written addresses under each person I know. Typing on a computer.
Maybe I am overreacting just a little bit.
Maybe new software versions are a good thing.
Maybe the old way is too hard.
But the newest way?
I think it would be easier, though, if I was as smart as I used to be on my old computer.