Mother's Day can be hard.
As I get older, I find it's definitely not a day for sissies.
Don't get me wrong.
I had a great one.
Spent some time with our newest Grandlittle and his Momma.
Enjoyed some beautiful flowers.
Talked and face-timed with every single one of the kids and Grandlittles.
Spent the afternoon reading magazines... (this always feels like such a guilty pleasure for me!)
And I also spent a lot of time doing what I always do.
Beating myself up.
I've gotten better over the years, but I still do it.
...and frankly...
it's annoying.
I've been working really hard on myself and my attitudes and being positive and dealing with the cards I've been dealt.
And rejoicing in the cards I've escaped.
I've tried to have no expectations and become unoffendable...
But, somehow...
On Mother's Day and Christmas all bets are off.
Those seem to be the days that I drag out my remorse and guilt...
And cuddle up with them until I'm feeling kinda/sorta miserable.
You know?
It's not like I do it for the WHOLE day!
It's not like I don't enjoy the day!
It's just that...
YessireeBob...
Mother's Day can make your Mother's heart feel sad.
There you are.
Eating your chocolates and looking at your flowers and thinking...
"Man-oh-man-oh-man, I wish I would have done this different. Man-oh-man-oh-man, I should have done THAT different. Man-oh-man-oh-man..."
Well.
You get the idea.
This year I was starting to get all comfy/cozy with remorse and guilt and I remembered something I read a few weeks ago in my 'Courage to Change' book.
You might recall I wrote about that little Al-Anon book in a post called 'Duane T.' You can read that by clicking here if you like.
Anyway.
What I read basically said that...
When we think about past mistakes we tend to react with guilt and overexaggeration of our mistakes.
And when we chain ourselves to the past we can never heal old wounds and move forward into a more joyous life.
By believing in ourselves we become free to contribute in a positive way to our OWN life without blowing our mistakes out of proportion.
There was also a quote by John Lilly that felt quite relevant to my emotions...
'You don't have to suffer continual chaos in order to grow.'
Wow. What a thought.
...
...
It's funny.
The more I learn about coping and letting go, the more I am able to cope and let go.
And the more I cope and let go, I find peace within myself.
It's wonderful to find that...
I don't know if you're struggling to find peace.
But if you are, this giveaway is for you.
AND the sign will be grammatically correct with no apostrophe in the word 'it's'. D'oh. BLUSH.
AND the sign will be grammatically correct with no apostrophe in the word 'it's'. D'oh. BLUSH.
The prize contains two items.
Two. Count 'em.
The first item is my current copy of Courage to Change. The one that I wrote about. I've already ordered a replacement for myself. I think there might be some extra strength in this particular book and I'd like you to have it, too.
The second item is the Peace sign pictured. This sign is from my Etsy shop. It's 15" x 16". You can click on the sign for a link to more information about it.
Here's the 'rules':
You can enter today, the 14th, and every day through Saturday, June 18 for a total of 5 entries.
Your comment on THIS post is your entry into the drawing.
Winner picked by random drawing and announced on Sunday, June 19.
Please be certain that I have an e-mail address to contact you because I will mail the prize out the 20th.
I wish I could send a copy of this book to all of you.
It is truly amazing.
And so is finding peace.
Thank you for stopping by.
PS. I have pictures from 'Picking' at GM (and I got some cool stuff!), but I need to get them off my phone! I'm going to work on that tomorrow morning! Right now I have a date with the season finale of Revolution.
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23 comments:
I read "Courage" every day, and I also write about what I've read. There are numerous messages in each day's readings to which I answer, out loud, "yep!"
Thanks for sharing this part of you.
I wish you peace, Jenny. My thought as a mother (and grandmother) is to not take blame and not take credit, just do the best I can.
I am working on finding peace right now. Thank you so this post.
I know exactly what you are talking about. I loved having the kids and grandkids with me on Mothers day but I still am beating myself up over my daughter who wasnt there and the two little guys who feel like they are lost to me. I just feel like there is SOMETHING that I should be able to do to make it better. I think it is called being a mother.......
I hope you had a very Happy Mother's Day, Jenny. None of us are perfect and we can't feel remorse about what is in the past--we can only work on changing ourselves in the "here and now" to make the future better. I'm glad this book has helped you feel peace. {{{Hugs}}}
Your signs are so beautiful!
Is there a mother alive who doesn't ask herself if she could have done better?...who doesn't beat herself up a little?.....it was so good to read this, Jenny. I think you write for many of us, touch many of us.
I get what you are saying about those voices. I rather wonder if it isn't in part hormone-driven? Wishing you peace and healing, Jenny.
Oh what a sweet post:) I find myself feeling down on Holidays a little, missing my Parents and wishing that time would slow down! Thanks for hosting the giveaway! You are a sweetheart! HUGS!
I'm so glad that you didn't beat yourself up for long Jenny. YOU are an amazing person and you've created more amazing people too.....none of us are perfect, but we learn as we go how to do the best we can. Right?
Happy belated Mother's day to you!
I don't focus on "what if" as much as I used to, but it still pops into my head.
Love,
Janie
Jenny when I choose JOY as my word for this year, it was in the hopes of moving forward and away from the chaos and guilt. Hmmmmmmm....working on it! I must say at times I get so bogged down in the things I did wrong that I forget all I've done right. I'm throwing my name in the pot for this book for sure. Wishing you Peace my dear friend!
hugs,
linda
Jenny,
What a great heartfelt post! I have told you before, it is like you are in my heart when I read these posts! I hope your day was a good one, I am also working on letting go....of a lot....bit by bit...I would be honored to have this book and your wonderful art!
We have to try to get together this year! :):)
Hugs, Sandy
Wonderful post, Jenny and I have the book of which you write ~ It is filled with wonderful inspiration ~ xxooo
I have a hard time with both of those days also. I typically spend them with my son and grandkids, but it makes me miss my oldest son so much that it can become physically painful.
Hugs to you from me sweetie, getting older is not for wussies...
Oh, man! How perfect you 'speak' about overexaggeration of past mistakes. I think I could teach that class. Sheesh. I need to read this book, if for no more than that part. Hope you pick me :)
Such a thought filled post. I'm glad you had a nice day. Mother's Day is a tough one for me, but I actually had a nice weekend and nice day this year. I had been having a few weeks of "woe is me" time and for the moment seemed to have gotten past this round of it! Your giveaway is a wonderful one...count me in. Keep working on that "woulda, shoulda, coulda stuff". More than likely you are beating yourself up for things that have nothing to do with anything you "coulda" done. Hugs!
I think having regrets is part of being human. We all wish we could have done something differently at one time or another. I guess it's when we dwell on it that we get ourselves in trouble. I try so hard to just stay in the moment and experience what is. Easier said than done.
What a great giveaway, Jenny!
And I could use a little extra peace right now...
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Jenny your posts touch me so often! It's like we have been through so many things the same. This book looks amazing and you know i love your signs!
linda
You are so very kind! You share the greatest stuff with us! Thank you and keep up the great work here! You are an amazing writer and good friend! Hugs to you! Anne
Oh Jenny when you tell me I can keep coming back to enter, I do!!
hugs,
Linda
One last entry! LOL....
hugs,
Linda
Spending too much time in our heads isn't usually a good thing. In my case, I try to stay out altogether, because in can be so negative in there.
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