Sunday, May 1, 2011

Unhappy Anniversary



I had comforted myself with brownies and cupcakes during the stressful first year of marriage. He’d been critical and insensitive for the last twelve months, but that was all behind us now.

For our anniversary dinner, I’d sausaged myself into a slimming, black dress and taken extra care with my make-up!

He looked deeply into my eyes over the fancy dinner I’d prepared, handed me an envelope and said, “Although the traditional gift for a first anniversary is paper…”

What fun! In excitement, I ripped it open!

My squeal of joy turned into a shout of rage as a gift-certificate for a year’s membership to Weight Watchers fell into my lap.

Jenny Matlock
This unhappy Anniversary story is linked to week 52 of Saturday Centus. The prompt is in bold. To read other entries, just click here.

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37 comments:

Ms. A said...

Hahaha... bad move on any anniversary!

Personalized Sketches and Sentiments said...

haha!!! Oh no...he didn't! ...Hm...but then again...it was on track for the "traditonal gift" of paper :o)

Blessings & Aloha!

Slamdunk said...

Ha, that would be a suprise--an evelope that I hope he ducked after handing it over since a strong right hook would likely follow.

Jojo said...

And I assume that some Ex-Lax Brownies make the perfect "thank you" gift for such an anniversary gift.

Theresa said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You crack me up:) HUGS!

Ames said...

That insensitive turd!I hope she gave him a gift certificate for a full body wax with a salt rub follow-up! :D~Ames

Tgoette said...

LOL! Too funny! That big dummy should have realized that what women really want is a good vacuum cleaner or cookware! Some guys can be so insensitive!

Marlene said...

LOL...oh boy, bet he was in the shits. Ha ha ha. Great story!

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

Oh no he didn't! That *bleep*'n *bleep*! Pass the brownies, please. This story's highly upsetting.
Love ya, Jenny.
xoRobyn

June Freaking Cleaver said...

Loved this one!

Revenge is a dish best served cold...what evil acts will come next?

Dazee Dreamer said...

What a jerk. She hopefully turned around and gave him a paper from the divorce court.

Jo said...

What a jerk ... i don't think he will be around for a 2nd anniversary ...

Sue said...

Sounds like this guy needs a paper gift too.

His WALKING papers, that is.

;)

Deborah said...

LOL ... very good! :o)

Happier Than a Pig in Mud said...

I'm with Dazee and Sue, my first thought was Divorce Court:@)

Donnie said...

Dump the Bum!...lol...I read it first and thought Steve...NO.....but then saw the Saturday Centus...Phew....

noexcuses said...

As insensitive as it sounds, for some of us, the gift could be welcomed. I'd love to go, but can't justify the cost right now.

At least he remembered the date....

jabblog said...

That is hilarious - but only to the onlooker . . . ;-)

J. Kwiatkowski-Schuler said...

What a sad sad anniversary.

Aunt Amelia's Attic said...

May 2

-chuckle-

"Today, Justice"

PeggyR said...

Yuck what a gift!

Busy Bee Suz said...

Oh no he didn't!!!!!

Judie said...

Now what did she give him? I hope it was some thong underwear. Whenever Rod asks why I don't wear any sexy nightwear any more, I remind him that I can always buy him a sexy thong to sleep in. That shuts him up in a hurry!!!

Bossy Betty said...

OH. OH.

Nezzy said...

Heehehehehe!!! That Mr. Jenny was one brave fella! :o)

I got a bird~dog one year for my birthday. It just happen to be the same year I gave Farm Boy a huntin' gun for his! :o)

God bless your day sweetie! :o)

Willoughby said...

I hope she bought him a package of Extenz for their next anniversary!

Karen S. said...

Oops! if I were her I think there might not be a second anniversary present to worry about.... ha ha ! Quite a funtastic way to go with your prompt! Jenny!

Jocelyn said...

NO HE DID NOT!!!!! TELL ME HE DID NOT!!!!!

Lourie said...

LOL You're second commentor took the words right away from my fingers. Oh no he didn't! How long before he hit the floor?

Jaquandor said...

Yeesh, what a clod! (By the way, if weight gain is a concern, a pie in the face is a great way to enjoy pie without consuming so much of it as to gain weight. :)

BECKY said...

Oh Ms. Jenny! You are awesome! You truly caught me by surprise with this one! Loved it!

upinthecosmos said...

LOL, this is the best! Stop in & read Wise Words

{ L } said...

Oh my goodness! Did that REALLY happen Jenny? Pass the brownies please...

Terra said...

HILARIOUS!

Nonna Beach said...

Excellent Jenny !

I was expecting divorce papers instead of a membership to Weight Watchers. Some guys just don't get romancing at all !!!

cj Schlottman said...

Jenny, Some men just need killing. This is a great argument for gun control!

Namaste..........cj

myorii said...

Oh, burn! I bet you he probably didn't get the happy anniversary end that he was hoping for :D