You know how...

...sometimes when you're waiting in the express lane at the grocery store with your fifteen items...

...and a lady with very red lipstick comes up behind you with one item...

...and she's all tapping her foot and clearing her throat impatiently?

...and so you say to her, "Look, obviously you're in more of a hurry than I am, why don't you just go in front of me?"

...and she looks at you all suspicious and narrows her eyes and asks, "Why?"

...and you say, "Wellllll...you just looked like you were in a hurry and I have fifteen things so I just offered...you know...to be nice. So you could get through the line faster."

...and she says, "Ummmm... well...."

...and then a lady wearing a sweat suit with a big, nasty looking spaghetti-sauce-like stain on the front of it...

...who has something like 43 items (43 I tell ya AND SHE'S IN THE EXPRESS LANE!!!!) in her cart kind of shoves in front of both of you while saying, "If neither of idiots are in a hurry, I'll go first!"

...and you and the lady with the very red lipstick look at each other and have a bonding moment over the rude, pushy, sloppy lady going through the express lane with 43 items?

And you know how when that happens you want to make a life analogy out of it...

...so when you tell the story, people will think you're all deep and zen-like, when really all you wanted to do was shove your grocery cart into the back of the rude, pushy ladies heels?

But you pretend for the sake of appearing to be in control (and because you're also a little afraid of the spaghetti-stain lady who looks really mean) that instead of being an annoyance, it was a moment of great self-discovery when you realized that life is too short to get annoyed at pushy people with spaghetti-sauce-like stains on their sweat shirts...

...and how all humanity is really joined together in a great desire to tattle on people who have waaayyyy more than 15 items going through the express lane...

...and that life as a whole is...

Huh?

What?

What was I saying here?

Oh geez.

Am I turning red!!!!!

I totally lost my train of thought here and it obviously derailed and continued willy-nilly down the wrong track with nobody in the engineers car...

I hate when that happens.

Gosh...

I'm sorry.

I was trying to impress you with my philosophical approach to such major life events.

And, sadly, I think I failed...

Totally and miserably.

...

...

I'm sorry you had to find out that I'm really not all deep and zen-like...

...

Especially when I'm in the express lane at the grocery store.

...

Sigh...