Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Not the Easter Bunnies Dentist

So...

Over the past few years, I've had six molars shatter.

Ouch.

Hmmm...

That didn't properly express the pain and angst I experienced over this fact, so let me try again.

OUCH!

Okay. Yeah. That's better.

The sixth one was the final straw...

...really...

(Yes, I know I'm mixing metaphors or something but we're talking about... shudder, shudder... getting teeth pulled so give me a break, please.)

The last one rendered me molar-less top and bottom on both sides. So much for chewing carrots on the 'good side' of my mouth.

With no remaining 'good sides' to chew on, I scheduled a 'consultation' with a dental reconstruction specialist. Ummm...Yeah. It should have been called a 'consultation' with a pillager/raper.

Gosh. That sounded harsh.

But 24K for some implants, sinus surgery, moving some nerves around and new teeth is a wee bit steep for our budget.

I've tried to make light of it, but Mr. Jenny is not amused when I tuck my lower lip into the holes where some of my top molars have been. I call it my 'Easter Bunny' impression. He calls it 'looking like a moron', although he doesn't, technically,say that out loud.






On top of being unappreciated when I impersonate the Easter Bunny...

I've been using no molars as an excuse to eat white stuff.

You know...

Gooshy stuff.

No raw veggies for me, it's too painful...give me pudding or mashed potatoes or wonder white bread.

After a few months of this soft, yet decidedly unhealthy diet, I realized that a) I was gaining weight like a sumo wrestler and b) I could not exist forever without something crunchy in my diet.

So, I sucked it up, asked my Mom where she gets her partials made (aren't those just for old people? Seriously?) and made an appointment.

I went to the dentist with much trepidation.

Okay, I was shaking like a leaf.

When asked on the new patient information sheet about the reason for my visit today, I simply wrote 'new teeth' as an explanation.

The dental cleaner lady person thought I was funny.

After a moment of laughing at my humor, I opened my mouth and she realized I wasn't joking.

And I wasn't feeling particularly humorous when she began cleaning my teeth.

"Gosh! Relax," she said with her super white teeth gleaming in the glare of the overhead lights. "You are so tense!"

"I'm fine," I replied in a shaky voice, "I've just had a few bad experiences with tooth extractions!"

"Gosh! Your eyes are so big! You look terrified!" she said.

I closed my eyes.

And tried not to dig my fingers clear through the cushioned arm rests.

When she was finally done, the dentist came in.

"Hmmm..." he said as he looked at my x-rays.


"Hmmm...well, it looks like you're here to talk about dental reconstruction."

I couldn't help myself. I did my 'Easter Bunny' impression.

I want to interject here that I asked Mr. Jenny to take my picture to share with you, but he refused. Apparently he thinks that some people might actually look like the Easter Bunny and be offended. And it is impossible to take a picture in the mirror while focusing the camera and tucking your lower lip into the hole from the removal of your top molars. I tried. For you. I really, really tried.


The dentist laughed. "Well," he said, "I've never worked on the Easter Bunnies teeth before, but I think I can help you. Are you rich?"

"Ummm...no...why do you ask?"

"You have two options for dental reconstruction...you can spend between 20 and 25 THOUSAND dollars and get bone grafts, implants, sinus lifts and eventually get some new teeth OR you can spend between 8 and 9 HUNDRED for partials."

I multiplied in my head. Gosh. 4 times 8 or 9 HUNDRED was still out of reach for the moment.

He clarified, "We would do one partial for both sides of the top and one partial for both sides of the bottom BUT I recommend we just start with the top, wait a few months and then do the bottom!"

Yeehaw! Hippity Hoppity Easter's on it's way!

Teeth!

That I can afford!

Who cares if he's not the Easter Bunnies dentist!

He's the guy that's gonna give me some teeth back!

Hooray again!

Hoor...

Oh.

Geez.

Then I won't have any excuse not to eat my veggies.

It will be goodbye forever to mashed potatoes from KFC!

Hmmm...




post signature

22 comments:

Nezzy said...

Oh glory, I'd rather do most anything than go to the dentist. It's OK...I know him well and he knows how much I hate him. Heeehehehe!!!

I'm so happy your gonna have some teeth that you can afford!!! Woohoo, bring on the veggies! :o)

I had a bunch of crowns, thankfully my dentist let me make payments. Sometimes a Tiny Town is good.

God bless ya and have a great day!!! :o)

Tell Mr. Jenny...we want the bunny pictures....please! :o)

Jojo said...

I had one molar shatter in February and not only was there some serious discomfort for several days, I went through costly procedures to try to save it before ultimately having to get the darn tooth pulled. Of course that cost $900 and on the way out the door they said "see in a few months for your implant". The going rate for those in these parts per tooth runs about $7k plus plenty of agony. Nope, I'm opting for a partial.

Just keep smiling while you've got those bunny teeth!

vivian said...

I love that you can turn something really quite stressful and disturbing as losing all your molars and the fact that it could cost 25,000.00 to get them replaced into such a funny story. Your husband must love you. I have no doubt that you keep him totally amused.
I'm glad that there is a way to fix the problem with out taking out a second mortgage! lol!
good luck bunny!
xo
vivian

Theresa said...

I love mashed potatoes from KFC:) I think the Easter Bunny is kinda cute but I understand you not wanting to look like one! I am happy that you found some affordable help so that you can get back to eating crunchy veggies! I bet you are cute, with or without teef:) Have a blessed day my friend, HUGS!

Jeanie said...

I feel your pain, but only partially (no pun intended). I have just spent nearly a year and lots of $ on just one implant for a tooth that I had already spent lots of money trying to save. I'm glad you have found a workable plan that will get you back to eating your veggies.
Strangely, I am off to the dentist later this morning.

taylorsoutback said...

One of my friends spent over $20k on her implants sadly needed because an osteoporosis drug she was on caused all the problems in the first place -

Wishing you a comfortable transition with the new procedures. Betting we could go white knuckle to white knuckle with each other when it comes to gripping the arm chair rests though must admit my dentist is one of the best in my 68 years of experience. Besides he kind of reminds me of Barry Manilow which cracks me up!

Cheryl said...

Jenny, I literally feel your pain on all counts. No molars, no problem. I just don't eat anything that requires chewing or enjoyment.

Ms Sparrow said...

Mmmm, mashed potatoes! But, now you can eat crunchy salads and popcorn in addition to the mashed potatoes!

Sue said...

I so do NOT enjoy the dentist.
But sometimes, we have no choice.

This is one of those times.
And I hope it all goes veeeery smoothly.

(The fake Easter Bunny deserves that.)

=)

Rocky Mountain Woman said...

I am kind of in the same position right now. I went to one dentist who said I needed bone grafts and all kinds of weird, expensive stuff. Then I went to another who just said, let's take it one step at a time and see if we can do a partial!

I think I am in love with him even though he's already married...

xxoo,

RMW

upinthecosmos said...

LOL, not to laugh at your pain but the visual of you as a bunny is funny:-) I do feel your pain on the whole dental experience but I'm glad they are able to offer you something within your reach cause KFC potatoes.... really??? They aren't real potatoes! LOL hope you are eating some crunchy stuff soon:-)

ain't for city gals said...

It used to be getting a crown was a really big deal!..now they skip the crown and go right to the implant!! $$$$ Honestly, I hope my teeth last another 10 years and then I am done!! Who cares after that?...I will not spend that kind of money. I don't have to chew Scotch! ha!

JDaniel4's Mom said...

I am so glad you found a plan that worked for you teeth.

Nellie's Cozy place said...

Hi Jenny,
So good to hear from you and so happy you stopped by. So sorry to hear of your dental woes, I am with you about all the dentistry stuff. I used to be terrified of the dentist, but then when I was in my 20's I worked in a dental office, and somehow being on the other side of the chair helped me. Course, that didn't take away all my angst tho, but it was much better.
So glad they can do a partial,
besides the fact it is mega expensive it sounds pretty scary too.
My aunt had a partial plate for years and had no problems with it,
and that was back when I was a kid,
so I know they have made great strides in dentistry over all these years, so it should work out well.

Would love to see that bunny face,
and I am sure they loved you, cause you are so funny, not the case with most dental patients, I can tell you from experience. Nice he will do one and then you can get a little rest in between, that sounds much better doesn't it.

I have to get some crowns done soon, and they are past due, but have been trying to decide on a new
dentist and that is just not so easy, cause I like to go by a referral, but the dentist I am thinking of going to, no one I ask knows anything about him, so think I am just gonna have to bite the bullet and go..........would just feel so much better if someone knew something about him. oh well.....

Will be praying for a good experience for you..............

Blessings hon, Nellie

and yes, I am feeling much much better but still get seized with coughing attacks ever so often. lol
I had never heard that song
"Heavenly day" but looked it up and it is a nice song, and good for counting your blessings.

Kathy Felsted Usher said...

1. KFC Mashed potatoes are second only to their coleslaw- I can skip the chicken.

2. Sedation dentistry, or at least LOTS of nitrous oxide- you won't care what he does. Crank it and remember to not breath through your mouth (the oxygen dilutes the effect).

If all else fails, the 5-hour shot in the back corner of your mouth works. I have had oral surgery during my lunch hour and gone back to work completely numb (and all cottoned up) for the rest of the day.

I don't like dentists- very bad experiences with one when I was a kid. He didn't believe in using Novocaine. Seriously. There was something very, very wrong with that man. Even the nurses hated him.

laurie @ bargain hunting said...

Jenny, I'm going through almost the exact decisions right now! I have had two implants (about 20 yrs ago!). They are still ok, but the rest of my teeth are not. I want to get dentures, but my husband doesn't want me to. I don't think I've ever in my life been to the dentist when he said everything was ok. I don't want to deal with it any longer! Good luck with your dental procedures. laurie

Stef said...

I feel your pain. I hate going to the dentist. ANd I have been more than my fair share this year. But I almost have all my teeth fixed. Whoot!! Good luck!

Amy said...

Dentist are horrid. Seriously, I got a crown put on a few months ago, and I swear it should be made out of gold for how much I paid for that little piece of porcelain. Honestly! A teeny tiny piece of porcelain costs more than a toilet which is a gigantic chunk of porcelain. Sigh. I hope you can get away with not having to pay for a couple of toilets in your mouth. So not fair! And I really want to see that photo of the easter bunny mouth!

Busy Bee Suz said...

I feel for you Jenny. I've had my share of dental nightmares {my entire life} And I just know that in a few more years, I'll be in the same boat as you.
I hope this guy does a good job and you are back to eating healthy again. :)
xoxox

Mac said...

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Pierre Cardan said...

Little by little, you will have your molars back. As they say, “Good things come to those who wait.” Finally, you can eat the food you’ve been craving for a long time. It’s pretty exciting to think that, at last, you can do things you were unable to do before. Congratulations, Jenny~! Best wishes to the rest of your dental procedure. ;)

- Pierre Cardan

Landen Worley said...

I think I definitely felt the pain with that second and larger “OUCH!” I’m glad that you decided to go to the dentist about your teeth. I know that most people who need reconstruction are reticent because they fear that they won’t be able to afford it. But, a good dentist will always give their patients as many options as possible. Also, a good dentist cares more about the patients’ needs than earning money because they understand the importance of dental health.

-- Landon Worley