Do you remember me?
I was the only one in the class with glasses. And they were thick. Thick, thick glasses. I mean verging on coke bottle bottoms.
Coke bottle bottoms in cat eye glass frames.
Sure. I laughed when you called me four eyes because, after all, I was still astonishingly adorable...
But my heart wept from the cruelty of childish torment.
My nose wept (well, it would have it could have) from the deep craters left from the weight of the glasses.
But I endured.
I got contact lenses shortly after those traumatic years and rarely had to endure the taunts and ridicule of other children whose eyes worked more efficiently than mine.
As the years passed, I made it a point to wear my contacts as much as possible.
Even as lense material become less bulky and painful in weight, my glasses remained kinda/sorta obnoxiously thick.
But I endured in the dark little corner of the universe where people with bad vision exist.
Until a few weeks ago!
I went to order new glasses!
And after the eye exam doctor/person guy tormented me a bit by saying glasses of my strength usually came with a free seeing eye dog, (seriously? Is this politically correct? Geez!) he tormented me a bit more telling me there were new materials on the market and I would be really surprised how much thinner the new lenses would be.
I thought he was toying with me.
I tried not to get my hopes up.
I picked out some cute purple frames. With rhinestones.
And waited for the call that my glasses were in.
On the way to pick them up, I kept telling Mr. Jenny, "I'm excited but I don't want to be excited. They are still going to look stupid and freaky. Stupid and freaky purple glasses with rhinestones. What was I thinking?"
Mr. Jenny kept trying to reassure me that I never looked stupid and freaky, with our without purple glasses with rhinestones, but I know he was just saying that...
...he knows I know where he lives and stuff...
But when the girl who works for the eye exam doctor/person guy brought out my glasses, I involuntarily let out one of those shocked and surprised/semi-screams you do in public sometimes when you are shocked and surprised!
I give you proof...that there are still miracles in the world. Please try not to let out one of those shocked and surprised/semi-screams unless you are alone. People seem to stare when you do that around them...
My old lenses that were 7/16" at the thickest point are now a slim, svelte 4/16" (Yes, I know that is not a proper fraction but I am using it to illustrate my point...sigh...)
And someone wearing 4/16" thick glasses in purple rhinestone frames can hardly qualify as a freak, right?
I just need to fire up my old Facebook account so I can find all those mean little kids that tormented me years and years ago.
Once they see my new glasses, they are going to feel all kinds of guilt and remorse for tormenting me so much.
Geez. I am officially now one of the cool kids from my kindergarden class!