Thursday, January 14, 2010

Don't be afraid but...

...confusion reigns here today.

Actually confusion reigns inside my head most days but today it's gonna leak out a little bit and instead of being my usual coherent, calm and and cohesive self I'm just gonna have to say that THIS! THIS! THIS! is the problem that has rocked my world (and not in a good way) This zoot suit style tuxedo has possibly ruined my life.

Why?

Well, it's like this.

You know how when you forgot your New Years resolutions to loose weight for about 10 years in a row and then a big event comes up you think to yourself, "ok, no big deal, I'm gonna loose 40 pounds in the next 4 weeks so I can attend this event looking a little slimmer and trimmer?" (this is not impossible according to a lot of the spam e-mails I get!)

But then you realize that you are not really willing to have your stomach surgically removed so you can accomplish said 40 pound weight loss and/or you might possibly die from eating one spinach leaf per day for that long.

So then you say to yourself "no big deal, I'm gonna order a little black retro-style suit and some spanx and then people can say "oh, well, she obviously kept about 20% of that 10 year delayed New Years Resolution!"

Not that I technically EVER care what 80 relatives I haven't seen in 25 years say at an event like this! Not me. Nosireebob! (ha, that was a chuckle!)

But the problem now is that my husband is wearing a black pin-striped zoot suit tux to my Dad's 80th Birthday Party the end of the month as a Big Gansta. My Dad is wearing a white pin-striped zoot suit as a Little Gansta.

So now I don't really want to wear a black dress cuz it will look like a funeral thing and, lets face it, my Dad is turning 80 AND I don't even want to go there in my head.

But now that my husband is a Gansta I can't go to plan B which was to wear rolled up jeans and an oversized white shirt with rhinestone cat glasses...

And I think now I have to go the "Classy Dame" route which leaves me thinking I need something like this but I don't think I can pull off the hat and I don't know if I can technically wear rhinestone cat eye glasses with it...

...and which really makes me think NOT ATTENDING AT ALL COULD BE THE NEW LITTLE BLACK DRESS!

Even after writing this I think my head is still going to explode but thank you for reading this post.

Cheese and crackers will be served immediately after you comment on this WHINE-y post.

Sigh.

44 comments:

Renee' said...

Oh I love the zoot suit :)

Renee' said...

Ok that hat uuum no lol,
Zoot Suits I have always loved lol
I will just take a hot cup of tea please
I love reading your posts every day :)
Thanks :)

Rural Revival said...

Seriously, he's wearing that? Hhmm, hard to say without actually seeing him in it, but I think it might actually entitle you to wear whatever you want. Just saying off the top of my head is all....

~Andrea~

Coralie Cederna Johnson said...

Your writing is so much fun! I'm definitely a HUGE FAN!

Wanda said...

Boy...you know...all white and rhinestone cat eye glasses would reeeeaaally look good next to that Zoot Suit!

mrs. c said...

Personally I would wear something a little trashy and bright red! You are what you are, a funny, outspoken kinda girl that doesn't sit in the corner( kinda like in Dirty Dancing) go, laugh and have fun! Maybe even a feather boa!!!!!

Julie Schuler said...

Zoot suits! Wear whatever you want and pretend you don't know them!

Actually, that sounds like a really fun party. You could just wear a gray trenchcoat and go as the Fed.

{ L } said...

Zoot suits are IDEAL for the 40s thing!! :) And I definitely think you could pull off the outfit in the photo. (thumbs up)

PS Have you been getting my emails? I'm assuming you're just super busy and that's okay...I just want to make sure you've been getting them.

MrsJenB said...

I am sucker for a zoot suit. But I can see how this would cause problems for you.

allycupe said...

thanks for stopping by on my SITS day! I really enjoyed all the comment love, so I'm passing some along!

Dawn said...

Ugh! Dressing for special events is the hardest thing if you're like me and wear jeans every day! I like the trech coat idea but in red to spice it up!
What, no salami? I'm cutting carbs "this time" so I'll skip the crakers.
Dawn

Holly said...

I like a Zuit suit but those shoes they are too distracting. The classy dame outfit on the other hand is WAY COOL!!Minus the purse of course. Who takes a pink log with flowers to a party? You've definitely got to have the classy dame outfit.

Theresa said...

I think RED too! Sounds like loads of fun! I can't wait to see the pictures of the gankstas and the lady:) Love your thinking. Let's find you the perfect attire for this shin-dig! Have a blessed day!

Twig - Love Your Home said...

baaahhaha..you had me laughing. I love it. and you! :)

Jennifer said...

zoot suits scare me.

Busy Bee Suz said...

Why don't you make him change. :)
You know you can.
But really, Jenny, you can wear black. Black and silver. Black and red. Black and white. You can do whatever YOU like.


can I have wine with my cheese and crackers?

Jen said...

Oh, jenny, another great laugh that I needed! thanks. I say jazz up your little black dress with some splash of color. hang in there and can't wait to see pictures!

Betsy from Tennessee said...

I agree that you should wear that little black dress---but enhance it with some color... Black is so popular --and never reminds one of a funeral anymore.

Just do it--and then go and enjoy yourself. Save me some cheese and crackers.

Hugs,
Betsy

Country Dreaming said...

I vote for RED too. the pink suit would be nice without the hat or the purse. I say go with RED.

Melinda

Suz said...

Oh really Jen
go as a loose woman
works for me
ANd most mobsters!

Linda said...

I vote for the RED or go as a Librarian I think the Cat Glasses would work with that outfit!

Pauline said...

How about black with lots of white and bling...so 40s.

Blessings

strokeofliving said...

That's too funny. I used to starve myself from Monday to Friday night to fit into a svelte dress I was going to wear on Saturday night.

Thank you for stopping by my blog. It's so nice to "meet" you.

5thsister said...

Okay I guess I have my eras off. I thought zoot suits were more 20's. You see, blogging and reading other blogs, is an education in and of itself. That calls for celebratory glass of wine with those cheese and crackers.

Wear whatever you want and have a great time!

Bits-n-Pieces said...

I love the way you put that..."You know how when you forgot your New Years resolutions to loose weight for about 10 years in a row and then a big event comes up you think to yourself, "ok, no big deal, I'm gonna loose 40 pounds in the next 4 weeks so I can attend this event looking a little slimmer and trimmer?"......oh my! I'm so having that crisis myself. I just canNOT get my head wrapped around the idea of losing weight right now altho I desperately need to b/c I have both a major family reunion AND my 25th high school reunion this summer (and I missed my 20th hs reunion, so I REALLY want to go this year.) and of course I really don't care what anyone thinks..nosireebob*cough*nonotme*cough. ***sigh***

I think I'd let them take out my stomach if it would help. I'm dreaming of the day the technology is created to just slice off the extra fat from my thighs and butt like you trim up a roast or ham!!!

Sarah said...

I vote for something RED. Celebrate and have a good time. It's all about the occasion, not what everyone is wearing. I hate that we all focus on "what will I wear" so often. ~ Sarah

Vee said...

I feel your pain. I agonize for months (sorry that you've only got weeks) trying to figure out what to wear and how to disguise the undisguiseable...is that a word? Actually, no one will care what you wear as long as you're smiling so don't worry and have a lot of fun!

Sara's Sweet Surprise said...

Jenny~ So glad you came by to introduce yourself. I love your honesty, it's very refreshing.
What ever you choose...drawing the attention above our Spanxed induced waistline is a safe plan. The rhinestone clad cat-eyes should do the trick. Maybe a red hat too...just to ensure that focal point.

I'll be by again...for sure.

Sweet wishes,
Sara

Jana said...

hmmmm I have no idea what to recommend, but I do rather like the outfit you talked about I cant wait to see what you guys look like together....zoot suits are fun!

Sue (Someone's Mom) said...

Thanks for visiting me today...I can already tell from reading this we will be friends! I bought a Wii last weekend. I just knew that if I was going to get exercise and stick with it, it would have to be fun. I've gained a pound a day (no, I haven't eaten more). Today, I decided to count WW points so that the Wii will quit asking me why I'm gaining weight. I want to lose 15 pound...well I guess 18 now. The Wii is really fun and I'm sure getting my workout!

As for your issue...I say go with the black and jazz it up with rhinestone jewelry and shoes. It won't look like a funeral and black just looks so good!

Sue

Pat @ Mille Fiori Favoriti said...

Jrnny wear NAYY BLUE! It's the new black! :-)

Loagan Ranch said...

I just went to a Marine Corps Ball in November and I swear starting in Sept I said I was gonna get in shape for it, I didn't do one sit up! The thought mortified me lol.

Love the zoot suit,maybe you can go as a flapper girl??

laterg8r said...

can't you wear a flapper dress with spanx underneath? is that the right time period - i have no idea LOL :D

Annesphamily said...

Wear R E D ! You will come off looking cool and totally powerful! Wearing red means you have lots of confidence! Go for it!

Justine said...

OMG, my friend Sara (sarasweetsurprise.blogspot.com) sent me over here, saying I'd love your writing and hell was she right! You took the problem of finding a fitting dress for your dad's b-day party and made it a BRILLIANT post! Thanks for the giggles!

Justine :o )
http://www.stupidisassisterdoes.com

Dogwood said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog. I like you blog. I like your sense of humor. I will be back.

Paulie said...

You will look great no matter what you decide on -- don't worry -- it's not your birthday!

Thanks for dropping by my blog. Please come again. I am visitng relatives so will ahve to update my blog list when I return next week.

My name is PJ. said...

That last photo didn't load when I was reading your blog, so I'm looking at this blank vertical rectangle thinking, "It would be quite a trick for anyone present at any function to pull THAT ONE off!"

Don't you sew? Shouldn't you be something flapper-esq or maybe early Joan Crawford? Couldn't you make a shirt (remember that term?) out of something with a bit of sparkle, and then put a headband around your head (flapper style)with a flower on the side and maybe a fake mole on your cheek? You'd be cute!!

You did NOT wait til the last minute to do this, did you???

Paula said...

Oh you must go and you must post photos...I want to see!

Country Wings in Phoenix said...

Oh Jenny sweetie...
You can wear anything and still look classy. I do however agree with some of the other ladies...
Thinking Lady in Red, yep you should do it. The beautiful Lady in Red. You can pull it off, and red is so classy. If he is wearing black sweetie you will pop in red. I can't wait to see what you find. How fun it will be and I am sure your Daddy is lovin it.

Keep us posted. You have the blogland all a flutter about the zuit suit.

Love ya sweetie. Country hugs and much love, Sherry

Terri and Bob said...

Why don't you wear ONLY the cat glasses? snicker snicker.

Cedar ... said...

First,... as a "newbie" follower of yours I have to say that your blog is a bright spot in my day. Now,... How about going to a thrift shop and see if there is a lovely dress reminding you of the gangster era? Oh well.... back to the jeans, shirt and glasses... ;)

Martha said...

This is quite a fashion dilemma! I hope you have a great time, regardless. Thank you so much for your visit and becoming a follower to my blog, Wow! I enjoy your writing also, thanks again.

Valerie said...

Hi Jenny.

This sounds like one fun party! And an 80th too! We are planning a huge 90th birthday celebration for my grandmother this October. Can't wait to see all the aunties and uncles and cousins!!!

Thanks so much for dropping by From Our Front Porch and for becoming a follower. As I was perusing your blog I saw that you are an Ohioan. I am too, by birth. Lived there until I was 7 and then relocated to Missouri with my family. Now I'm a Kansan, so still a midwesterner!

Have a great time and hope you figure out your wardrobe dilemma soon!

Valerie