...confusion reigns here today.
Actually confusion reigns inside my head most days but today it's gonna leak out a little bit and instead of being my usual coherent, calm and and cohesive self I'm just gonna have to say that THIS! THIS! THIS! is the problem that has rocked my world (and not in a good way) This zoot suit style tuxedo has possibly ruined my life.
Well, it's like this.
You know how when you forgot your New Years resolutions to loose weight for about 10 years in a row and then a big event comes up you think to yourself, "ok, no big deal, I'm gonna loose 40 pounds in the next 4 weeks so I can attend this event looking a little slimmer and trimmer?" (this is not impossible according to a lot of the spam e-mails I get!)
But then you realize that you are not really willing to have your stomach surgically removed so you can accomplish said 40 pound weight loss and/or you might possibly die from eating one spinach leaf per day for that long.
So then you say to yourself "no big deal, I'm gonna order a little black retro-style suit and some spanx and then people can say "oh, well, she obviously kept about 20% of that 10 year delayed New Years Resolution!"
Not that I technically EVER care what 80 relatives I haven't seen in 25 years say at an event like this! Not me. Nosireebob! (ha, that was a chuckle!)
But the problem now is that my husband is wearing a black pin-striped zoot suit tux to my Dad's 80th Birthday Party the end of the month as a Big Gansta. My Dad is wearing a white pin-striped zoot suit as a Little Gansta.
So now I don't really want to wear a black dress cuz it will look like a funeral thing and, lets face it, my Dad is turning 80 AND I don't even want to go there in my head.
But now that my husband is a Gansta I can't go to plan B which was to wear rolled up jeans and an oversized white shirt with rhinestone cat glasses...
And I think now I have to go the "Classy Dame" route which leaves me thinking I need something like this but I don't think I can pull off the hat and I don't know if I can technically wear rhinestone cat eye glasses with it...
...and which really makes me think NOT ATTENDING AT ALL COULD BE THE NEW LITTLE BLACK DRESS!
Even after writing this I think my head is still going to explode but thank you for reading this post.
Cheese and crackers will be served immediately after you comment on this WHINE-y post.