Sunday, June 10, 2012

Mad World

The following poem is linked to week 110 of Saturday Centus.   The 6 word prompt is bolded.  I used it multiple times so only counted it once.  I'm explaining just in case you think I went over the 100 word count.  Not sure if this is actually cheating but I did it anyway...so there!  To read other, possibly less depressing, links using this prompt...just click here.




crumpled 20’s are your lifeline

I watch you as you fall

syringe debris surrounds your orbit

you could have had it all.

you try and hide beneath your hoodie

still I see the broken doll

OhGodohGod I grieve your choices

you could have had it all.

I hold my palm to greasy plexi

braced back against the grimy wall

OhGodohGod what happened here?

you could have had it all.

collect!collect!collect!collect!

the robo-voice says when you call

from the latest detention facility.

(I resist the ringing phone !

I pretend that I’m not home !

My tears burn as they flow free !

I pray to God someday you’ll see !)

You could have had it all.

And you still can.


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19 comments:

Deborah Ann said...

Cheating or not...you are a master at word craft! Love it!

Ames said...

They all could have had it all. And still some of those won't ever have it again. Its their demon, their path, and we can only try to help them, unfortunately its their life to choose their destiny.

Well written Jenny. I felt that edge of desperation in the words.~Ames

Pondside said...

This could have been written for so many family members who have to stand by, support, push away, hold close, visit in detention centres and accompany their loved ones to detox.
You've done it again. Bang on.

Cathy said...

My heart aches for the people involved. This would make a beautiful song.

Naila Moon said...

Yes, it is heartbreaking when stuff likes this happens and you are the one that is trying to support.

Great writing. Oh, it is your prompt, you do as you like. ta-hee

~Naila Moon

http://writing-out-of-the-blue.blogspot.com/2012/06/having-it-alla-story-106-words-only.html

lifebythecreek said...

I hear this set to music. I don't know current singers but, having watched American Idol, I could see Phillip doing this, with an ache in his voice. Cuts like a knife...

Ms. A said...

Sounds like there might be some experience behind these words, in which case I have sympathy, empathy and, as always, admiration.

ain't for city gals said...

I hope this is the past talking...not the present or future. xo

Pat @ Mille Fiori Favoriti said...

I know this was very heartfelt for you to write, Jenny. I am always praying that those who could have ahad it all, someday will! Never lose hope. {{{hugs}}}

H said...

Your poem is full of insight; a snapshot into the pain experienced by the ones who can only watch, wait and support, wishing things had been different!

bluegrassnotes said...

Very poignant. Moving take on the prompt.

Karen S. said...

A true tale for some...very precise in your word gathering this round!

vivian said...

wow Jenny.. this is very good.
xo

J. Kwiatkowski-Schuler said...

I wish there were better places for our friends and family when they become addicted. I wish our first instincts weren't to punish those that are weak and sick. I think many animals behave better.

Sue said...

Just wonderful, Jenny.

Extremely well written.
And so, so tragic.

I wish neither of us knew how tragic.

Hugs,
S.

PS. On a brighter note, I am meeting the other Sue for lunch today! And maybe her daughters, too.

Viki said...

This is so sad but well written. Too bad many of us have had this experience.

Lorrie said...

Words straight from the heart. Achingly direct.

Busy Bee Suz said...

Extremely sad...but written so beautifully.
xo

anitamombanita said...

Wow, that was pretty deep...and painful. Nicely done.