Friday, June 15, 2012

I fought the law...

...and the law is stupid.

Grrrr.

Grrrr.

So.

There I was walking like a mad woman two mornings ago listening to Haddaway when I was stopped by the bike cops.

I pulled out my earbuds and turned off my Ipod right in the middle of Haddaway wailing, "What is love, baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me...no more..."



Although I started feeling a little law anxiety from the police uniforms, the officers looked to be about twelve years old.

One pulled in front of me blocking the bike line and the other pulled his bike right beside me. 

Obviously they thought I was a flight risk. 

You know.

Middle aged fat woman flees police on foot (or something).

 For some odd reason I blurted out, "Is this about the turtle?" 

They both actually said, "Huh?" in unison.

I looked down and said, "Never mind.   What's up?"

"Well...we need to give you a warning for walking in the bike line."

It was my turn to say, "Huh?" 

Twelve year old number one explained.   "Technically you aren't allowed to walk in the bike lane when there is a sidewalk available."

I said, "Are you kidding me?   I can't walk on the sidewalk.   The sidewalk is concrete!  It hurts my knees.  No.   I don't want to walk on the sidewalk."



Twelve year old number two took out a notepad and a pen and a half sheet of paper.  He handed me the paper and then said, "Ma'am, I need to take down your name."

I put on my reading glasses and looked at the paper which had a bunch of blah, blah, blah about 'revised safety statutes' and more blah, blah, blah.

"I don't care what this says," I said, "I don't want to walk on the sidewalk."

They glanced at each other.  "Well, ma'am.  It's the law.  We're giving warnings for two weeks and then we will start issuing tickets and fines.   Can we have your name please?"

"Seriously?   Seriously, you are going to make ALL of us who walk every morning in the bike lanes WALK ON THE STUPID SIDEWALK WHEN IT HURTS OUR KNEES????   Seriously?!?"

Twelve year old number two tapped on his pad with his pen.  "Your name, please, ma'am.   We need to record that you've been given a warning."

"I don't want to walk on the sidewalk.   Why are you guys doing this?   Why are you changing this.  It's stupid."

Twelve year old number one explained, "We had an incident where there were two bikes going in opposite directions in the bike lane.   Words were exchanged.   Tempers flared.  They had a severe fist fight and both men had to be transported by ambulance over the altercation."

"I don't care," I said.  "It's not my fault if they had too much testosterone.   The sidewalk hurts my knees."

"Ma'am.   We've gone over this.   If you walk in the bike lane we will have to give you a citation.  You can consider this your official warning.  We need your name, please."

So, in the spirit of total rebellion and anarchy...I...ummm...gave them my name.

And then I told them, "This is totally stupid," and huffed off.  Yeah.   That'll teach 'em to make ME walk on the sidewalk.

I guess I didn't look suitably hostile, though,  because one of them yelled after me.  "Ma'am, what were you saying about a turtle?"

I just waved dismissively and kept walking.

But...

Because I am a law abiding (albeit irate citizen) I walked home on the stupid sidewalk  ...GRRRRR...which DID hurt my knees...GRRRRRR... and this morning had to drive to the stupid dirt walking track...GRRRRR... which is totally stupid...GRRRRRR.

On the way home I saw them.   They had another bike lane walker cornered.

I thought I might get in trouble if I ran them over, so I resisted the urge.

GRRRRR...

So, yeah.

I fought the law...

...and the law won.

GRRRRR...

post signature

33 comments:

mub said...

Alright, I must confess... I HATE HATE HATE it when people walk in the bike lane! The only time I don't get irate is when it's snowy and icy... they don't shovel the sidewalks here but they do plow and salt the bike paths so then I only get minorly annoyed ;)

Maybe you can bike on the bike path, that's much easier on the knees anyways!!

Terra said...

Oh you poor dear, that sounds infuriating. At least you don't have to pay a fine. I wonder what the fine is; you should find out so you know what the cost would be, should you dare to break the law.
I am very glad this post did not end "Breaking rocks in the hot sun, I fought the law and the law won."

Ms Sparrow said...

SO, what was that about the turtle?

Jo said...

omg, the sidewalk is hard to walk on ... my knees don't bother me but my ankles sure do ...

ain't for city gals said...

This is just plain dumb...what next??

Perfectly Printed said...

And that's the way it is!! The law always seems to win one way or the other :(

chris

Rocky Mountain Woman said...

I think once we reach a certain...ahem...age, that we should get to go wherever we want and do whatever we want...

just sayin...

Lynn Penton said...

AWwww man! I just got in trouble for running with BOTH my ear buds in. I guess you can only have one in now? Cop car. Flashing lights. Written warning. And I had NOTHING to do with a turtle! I swear!

anitamombanita said...

Oh sad...but I do understand the thing about peds in bike lane... :(

Andy David said...

Dear Jenny,
I know there are safety rules and regulations that have to be obeyed, but a citation for walking in the bike lane...seriously? I guess they haven't got anything better to do than waste our taxpayer money!
Now about this turtle...I'm with Ms Sparrow...is there something you want to tell us?

Country Dreaming said...

The bike lane???? What is it made of? It is not concrete like the sidewalk? Really confused here.

Be good--stay on the sidewalk.

Have a great weekend.

Melinda

Mary Ellen said...

Jenny you are so amazing how you can make me laugh even while you are being cornered by to police! you always have a story to tell and I so wish I had your gift of words (and standing up to policemen would be nice too!)
The law is stupid for sure maybe they could ask people walking to step to side or on sidewalk if they see a biker coming - would that even work?

bee blessed
mary

Ms. A said...

Will you be getting a bike, or a treadmill?

Viki said...

You must be a magnet for crazy stuff to happen to you, lol.

Ames said...

Jenny! Why didn't you give them the exhusband's wife's name??? You never give your real name. Ever! Well unless you have to produce ID. :(~Ames

Ames said...

P.S. Why are the bike lanes dirt? Down here they are paved,and bikers have to yield right of way to pedestrians first. Considered the evolution of transportation.

Debbie said...

I live so far in the hokey pokey sticks that we don't have bike lanes and walking lanes. We just have roads and we all just get in each other's way on a regular basis.

I have to agree with you, though. I don't get why you can't walk in the bike lane. Of course as I said, I like in the hokey pokes.

Stef said...

Not that I'm condoning lying, but surely you didn't give them your real name. Right? I mean, it's not like early morning bike lane walkers carry around their identification. So there really is nothing to tie you to a ticket... unless they follow you.. and then they can take away your walking license...oh wait...that's right...you don't have one.

livingwithmemoryloss said...

Are they going to give the bikers who ride on the sidewalk tickets too? get a group of walkers together, fill up a city hall meeting and make your point!
Wendy

themagicalmiss said...

I would have graciously given them a fake name.

Siggi in Downeast Maine said...

Good grief...
what a pain...
someone must have sneaked that by the citizens...there must be more walkers than bikers...
and
I would insist that the bikers that ride on the side walks be ticketed too...someone said that already, but I agree.
Hope there is an uprising...will watch for it on the nightly news report.
Peace,
Siggi in Maine

Sue said...

<---waiting on the turtle story...

;)

H said...

I don't get it (ignorant Englishwoman here). How is the bike lane a different surface to the pavement? Are your bike lanes rubberised or something?

What's with the turtle?

Keetha Broyles said...

Politicians make these stupid laws because they don't have enough "good clean work" to do to keep themselves busy.

Also, I FAIL to see how two BIKES colliding and getting into a drastic altercation has anything whatsoever to do with WALKERS.

Pat Tillett said...

Being a bike rider, I know that there is some danger when folks walk in the bike lanes. BUT, I also, really HATE it when policemen (or policeboys) act like Nazis....

Dazee Dreamer said...

for the love of god, please tell me you gave them a fictitious name!!! And, you should totally put up one of those, Beware of 12 Year Old Bike Cops ready to ticket you for walking. That will show them

Jayne Martin said...

"Turtle?" *snort* ;)

Bike cops... That's just sad.

laurie @ bargain hunting said...

Jenny, the whole mess sounds pretty crazy to me. Why do they have to change the law because a couple of bikers got into a fight? Craaaazy! It is amazing how much younger everybody looks these days! LOL. I don't know where my mind was when I was linking to Sat. Centus today. I linked back to your blog instead of to my centus. I've tried to post a new link, but it's not showing up. Sorry about that. laurie

Busy Bee Suz said...

I've never heard of such a thing. Apparently the crime rate is down in AZ thanks to these guys!
So thankful they didn't know about the turtle incident. :)

Splendid Little Stars said...

ooo...Jenny! not a good day for you! At least they didn't find out about the turtle!

Terra said...

I bet your blood was boiling! Although I can't but wonder are they going to have to add walk lanes to our roadways too? Pretty soon we won't have room for our gas guzzling, environment ruing cars eh?

Oh well!

Jennifer said...

That's a bit annoying. I don't know what two cyclists getting into an altercation has to do with people walking on the bike lane, but whatever. At least you weren't fined.

Betty (picture circa 1951) said...

There must not be too much crime where you live or they would have been busy somewhere else.