Saturday, October 16, 2010

Saturday Centus - Trick or Treat

Part three of my little pumpkin story is linked to week 24 of Saturday Centus. To visit other Trick or Treat links click here.

The first two parts of the story (weeks 22 and 23) are in italics followed by this weeks story with the prompt in bold.

“Listen,” I said with gritted teeth. “Just give us one more month! I heard about a job…”

“I’m sorry but there are no more extensions,” interrupted the smug banker in the polyester suit.

I lowered my head and softened my voice to a plea. “Listen, I’m begging you, just let our daughter harvest her 4H pumpkin crop before you evict us. Please. She’s worked so hard on this.”

“No. More. Extensions. You will vacate the premises by Friday morning or we will have you removed from the property.”

I slammed the door, hard, on the way out of his office.

Week 23

She was waiting in the kitchen when I walked in. Her hopeful face fell when she saw my face. “Did you tell them about that job?” she asked in a tiny voice.

I spoke carefully, “Yea, honey, but he said we're out this weekend.”

Her eyes grew frantic. “What about the pumpkins? What about…”

I interrupted her gently. I tapped on the door frame that contained the careful pencil marks recording our childrens heights.

"If I had a hmmer," I said, pointing to one of our irreplaceable treasures, “…I could just pull this board right off and we could take it.”

She ran to get one.

Week 24

I waited in the truck watching my daughter and her 4H friends sneak through the yard. Fumbling in the dark, placing their pumpkins, I saw only brief flares of matches in the very dark night.

They rang the doorbell, like pranksters everywhere. "Trick or treat!" they shouted as the door opened, and then they ran like gazelles and leaped into the truck bed.

The banker looked less intimidating with tousled hair in pajamas.

Speeding away, I watched in the mirrors as he read the 14 letters each carved onto a pumpkin spelling out our families message, “You took our home.”

Their golden glow cast little light into the darkness.

And gosh, I hope this is the end of this train of thought. I am definitely read to get onto a new track!

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Kat said...

Loved this Jenny. I can just see them laying out their message, and I can hear the muffled giggles as they do the deed. Now all that needs to be added is a flaming bag of poo on his doorstep! Sorry, I can be so juvenile at times :) Kat

Pat Tillett said...

playful and sadly moving at the same time. Even in light of what was happening, there was still fun to be had.
really really good....

Sue said...

Oh, boy, did I love this one. And it kinda choked me up at the end, too.

I LOVE the ending. "Their golden glow cast little light into the darkness."

Masterful, Jenny.


Ames said...

Mean Banker! Bleeeuuuuuah! (that's me doing a raspberry!)

This was wonderful Jenny. I just don't understand this world today. It's not the banks have buyers for all these forclosed homes. Why in my neighborhood alone, homes that were once nice are now derelect with green swimming pools. People should work to help each other.

Ok, I'm stepping down from my soap box now. Great use of this prompt. It wasn't as easy to write as a lot of people might think. ~Ames

RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild said...

That was a small but very mighty victory for the family. I loved this series, Jenny. It was so relevant and moving.


PS I'm sorry it took me two tries to get my link right on the centus. I don't know how to delete my first attempt. If you do, please do. Thank you!!

Judie said...

Your story would make a great made-for-tv movie for the season! Damn, you're good!

Theresa said...

WOW Jenny, what a story! I love the message! It is strange, I have been shopping foreclosures for my Sister. There are so many right now and I know there is heartbreak in their stories!

Have a blessed evening! HUGS!

Anonymous said...

Love it, love it, love it!!! Great idea for the pumpkins. Hugs

Cheryl said...

I'd be satisfied with this ending. I hope you find a new train to jump aboard. This one's a bit dark.

Nezzy said...

This one is the best ever! I just adore the ending!!!

Ya'll have a marvelously blessed weekend!!!

Viki said...

What a sad tale. You maybe want it to be over but I don't, ha. I want to know what happens to this family.

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad they went and showed the banker!


Anonymous said...

So glad it ended with some satisfaction for them all! Now for the next epic!

Deborah said...

Very good combination of light and shade, really well done, I loved it! :o)

My name is PJ. said...

Wow! That actually caught me by surprise and made my blood run cold.

I call that kind of twist, brilliant writing.

Willoughby said...

I'm so glad I dropped in! This was a great story! Both funny and sad.

We've had several foreclosures in our neighborhood. The house behind us has been vacant for a year and a half. In essence, the mortgage company kicked these people out so the house could sit empty and the grass could get a foot tall! It just makes me angry...

Tgoette said...

Jenny, another marvelous story from that deep pool of creativity you call your mind! I loved this and the smug satisfaction it gave that family.

Of course I think an exploding dye pack might have been a nice touch, if not something a bit more lethal, but then my aggressive tendencies come out a bit more where bankers and lawyers are concerned. Great job!

Amy said...

Good for them! I love the prank, and I am hoping that her pumpkin won. And again, stop with the heart wrenching.

P.S. your music is awesome. I am just staying on your page until it I go through it all. Really enjoying this. Just don't trip on me on your way out. Not stalking this time. I've become a squatter. :)

Tina said...

Iloved how you tied in the 3 stories there with the prompts. the prompts fitted in perfectly with the sad story.

And I liked how they got to make one last point in the end with the pumpkin carvings.

Tina from Mummy Diaries

cj Schlottman said...


This series touched me deeply. We have had a foreclosure in our family, so I was particularly pleased at the prank, just wish they could have done more! Your wonderful prose made the whole event so real.