Monday, November 8, 2010

Look on the gloomy side...

...or at least that's what I told Mr. Jenny on Thursday night.

"I'm tired of being positive! I'm tired of trying to make lemonade! Screw lemons anyway! Friday is gloom and doom day!"


"Huh?" he answered in his usual deeply intellectual way.

"I mean it!" I replied, "I am looking at the dark side all day Friday so just be warned in advance..."

He turned off the news. He actually faced me. He said, "Huh?"

And I explained my brilliant idea to him again.

I told him I was going to look for the bad in everything...all day long...without respite and that I was going to LIKE it! Then I gave an evil MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA laugh and started to walk away.

"Wait! Just hold on here a second!" he shouted, waking even further from his bad news induced coma, "I'm scared. What are you going to do?"

Darkly I told him, "You'll see," and then I went to bed.

Friday morning arrived. The stupid sign was shining. The stupid rooster was crowing. The stupid bed was cozy.


Mr. Jenny did his usual cuddle up thing and said, "Good morning!" and I told him, "Shut up! There is nothing good about this morning. This is gloom and doom day!"

He sighed. And got out of bed.

I told him the coffee was terrible and that was probably OK because we were both going to develop a rare allergy that made us unable to ever drink coffee again.

He sighed.

I told him our bank account was overdrawn $4,000,000 dollars.

He said, "That's a lot!" and sighed.

He asked me if I wanted him to make me a bowl of cereal.

I told him I was allergic to cereal and that cereal had dried bugs in it.


He sighed.

I got ready to do some morning errands. Mr. Jenny told me, "You look nice today! I like your new haircut!"

I said, "Yea, yea, whatever. I'm sure my hair will be falling out soon anyway and these shorts aren't going to fit much longer because I just keep getting fatter."

He sighed.

He volunteered to take our Granddaughter to preschool. I told him not to bother, I would do it since it was probably the last time.

"Why is that?" he asked in a frustrated voice.

"I dunno. Maybe I'll be in a freak accident later today and lose both my legs. But that's OK. I won't need them because I'm sure they will be repossessing my car anyway so I'll have nothing to drive around in."

"Ummm... your car is 11 years old...I don't think anybody actually wants it...besides, we haven't had a car loan on it in 8 years!"

I sighed.

"That is beside the point," I had replied snottily, "It's a gloom and doom day and everything is going to go wrong."

Our Granddaughter looked really cute. Her smile is so sweet. I know she is going to need braces.

The ladies at the preschool smiled and said "Happy Friday" and I mumbled, "Yea, yea, whatever" under my breath.

My garden looked green and lush with all kinds of stupid vegetables growing out there which meant, sigh, more work for me to pick them so we could eat them.

I couldn't write very well because I kept having a twitch in my finger which probably meant the onset of some rare, incurable neurological disease which will be pretty terrible considering I would have lost my legs by then in the freak accident.

There was no chocolate in the house which was probably OK because when I'm certain that coffee allergy would mean I would become allergic to chocolate, too.

Geez.

Life is hard.

Everything is terrible.

I told Mr. Jenny his ex was probably going to marry my ex and buy the house next to us and move in, and he jumped right into the spirit of the gloom and doom day.

"That won't matter," he told me smugly, "Because the house is going to get repossessed at the same time they take your 11 year old car."

"Fine," I said back snottily, "Maybe a swat team will come before we have to move out AND seize that stupid, ugly elephant of yours because it could be stolen property!"

"Fine," he snarked back, "Maybe your computer will get a virus which will wipe out your hard drive!"

And I snarled right back, "Well, that won't matter will it, because I won't have a house or a car or legs or coffee..."

And then I started to laugh.

And Mr. Jenny laughed.

And he said, "You're crazy! You know that right?"

And I said, "Yea, yea, whatever."

And the rest of the day we ended up counting our blessings and looking on the bright side because things rarely ever get as bad as we imagine.

Even though some days feel like the bad stuff is endless.

So now, I ask you, "Is that crazy?"

Yea, yea.

I think not!

And, hey. Look on the gloomy side today, OK?

Sigh...


post signature

46 comments:

The Quintessential Magpie said...

LOL!

I'm speechless, Jenny... but in a good way. Oops! I mean in a gloom and doom way. ;-)

XO,

Sheila

Kat said...

Jenny, I'm starting to think that we may be twin daughters of different mothers. I'm laughing so hard right now I can barely type (good grief, hope I'm not getting that rare neurological disorder too) Whenever we are going through a really rough patch - and believe me, this year has been a doozie - DH and I do this. What's the worse thing that could happen? We usually end up laughing at some of the ridiculous things that pop out of our subconscious. Meanwhile, I'm having my birth certificate changed so that my middle name reads "Job". :) Hugs, Kat

5thsister said...

yeah, yeah, yeah, blah, blah, blah. I'd comment on your post but my computer will probably be hacked and Mr. Sister will have to defrag the USB to the motherboard, or whatever. Meanwhile all the personal information, on my laptop, will be stolen and those wiley hackers will check out library books, on my account, and promptly lose them so I'll have to pay a hefty fine. They'll probably hijack my blog and use terrible grammar and post recipes for brussels sprouts or liver mush. I bet they'll even post lame status updates on my Facebook account. I don't think I can handle that much misery so I just won't leave a comment, okay?

J. Kwiatkowski said...

Wow! It's like you were me for the day!

Terra said...

point taken. It is hard work to focus on the negative all the time....much easier to stop and enjoy what we have

Sailing Simply said...

As they say, "It's always darkest before the dawn". Glad to see you made it out of the darkness. That's one great idea though, if your going to have a bad day why not go all out and declare it a very bad day! LOL!

Theresa said...

You are STILL hilarious when spouting gloom and doom!..maybe even more...?

Deborah said...

LOL ... this was sooo funny, who would have thought gloom and doom could make me laugh so much ... you are right though, it never is bad as we imagine! my blessing are being well and truly counted :o)

noexcuses said...

LOL! What a terrific idea! Although, I have found that it does take more energy to be negative, and since I am such a lazy person, I usually look for the easy way out!

I love the part about the "Exes!" Fun post!

La said...

This is the best "be grateful" post I've ever read. You are the best, Jenny! La

Theresa said...

My glass is always half full so I WILL NOT participate in this party:) You are gonna wear your mind out thinking, I feel sure that will happen!

Have a blessed day my nutty as a fruitcake friend! HUGS!

MommaHensCoop said...

I had a simular moment today. I was grumping around having to clean the house that I speant ALL day cleaning yesterday....As I made my way with windex in one hand and a rag in another I see "I {{heart}} mom" written in the frost on the storm door. ...the silver lining. {smile}

Wanda..... said...

You are sooooo Terrible...in such a Goooood way!!!

Cheryl said...

My heart bleeds for you. All my valves are leaky which means I won't be around much longer. I can barely feel my fingers because of some rare autoimmune disorder. Don't worry though, the rare blood disorder is gonna kill me first unless my heart beats the blood thing. Then there's the cough I've developed. I knew I was going to be sick today because we fly tomorrow. It's always like this in my life.

I never complain. Why bother. No one listens to me anyway. Ever. Even when I'm not complaining. It's like I'm invisible, just like my car. Other cars cut my car off all the time. Someday, I'm going to die in a fiery automobile crash, unless the blood disorder or heart disease kill me first.

I always look on the bright side especially on days like this when it's rainy and windy, which happens a lot. Y'know what? I'm tired of swimming against the tide. Just for today, I'm going to be miserable. I'll blame it on you if anyone notices I've changed. They may not notice since I'm invisible and all.

Aging Mommy said...

Thanks for the reminder - it is so very easy to get dragged into a gloom and doom day over one or two little things, forgetting all that is good to embrace and be thankful for.

Jeanie said...

A great lesson in how always waiting for the other shoe to drop can bring it right down on our heads.

Deb said...

what is sad is there are people that think like that every day...my FIL is one...I think I will just make some lemonaide...and fill my glass up full....yeah....that is what I will do...

"Cottage By The Sea" said...

It's windy and rainy today. I couldn't stay in bed past 5 am because my whole body itched. I woke up starving for my favorite cereal and we're out of it. Now I have to drive my kid 50 minutes to school in the rain and its house cleaning day. Oh and I have about 2 hours of ironing to do before I have to drive back the 50 minutes to pick my kid up from school. That means I drive almost 4 hours a flipping day. My life sucks. (How am I doing Jenny?) I think I'm pretty good at this game.

jackiesown said...

The forecast is gloomy this morning and well it's monday .

Bad day already Lolololol

mub said...

Sometimes when my husband and I are being grumpy we try to out grump one another and it just becomes ridiculous. I love it!

Thanks for the laugh this afternoon =)

Jackie said...

btw Phil didn't post that , I did by mistake.sorry. He doesn't like it when I'm negative, but even my joking sucks . He is awesome however :D

Cassie said...

Wow. That was really hard to read. Even through the laughter....could hardly finish. I like you better the other way. I tell people the reason I'm laughing all the time is because if I weren't I'd by crying.

Hugs!

Holly said...

Puts things in perspective doesn't it???? Life's pretty darn good and we have a lot to be thankful for!!

I love the dialogue's that you two have...what fun to live in your house!!

NatureGirl said...

Mr. J is right...you are completely bonkers...thanks for the ride!

Jo said...

geez Jenny ... no snappy retort here ... just appreciation for such a great post ! that felt like such a great pep talk and hug all rolled into one ... in a very weird kinda way ...

cj Schlottman said...

Jenny,

Tears of laughter rolled down my face the entire time I read your post. Thank goodness I have a keyboard condom, or I would have flooded my laptop and I would be forced to join you on your gloom and doom journey!

Thanks for the belly laugh........cj

Marlene said...

You're MY kind of gloomy forecaster!

Unknown Mami said...

I guess the silver lining is really gray because there is always something gloomy to look at.

Sue said...

Pure genius, Jenny! (It must be, because some days I do it myself...)

;)

PS. I call those days my "swearing days," and my husband is amused, too. But hey, they work!

Amy said...

This started out very much like "alexander and the no good terrible horrible very bad day."
You make me laugh, and it is always so much better to count our blessings as then we can see exactly how much we have.

P.S. allergy to chocolate? Is that contagious?

Willoughby said...

I would agree with everything you said if only we could switch "Doom and Gloom" day to Monday. I prefer to hate everything on Mondays. Sometimes, I'm even mad at my husband for waking me up on Monday morning (as if it's his fault that the weekend is over!). By Friday, I've softened a little and don't have the heart (or the energy) to find the bad in everything.

In all seriousness, I have a favorite quote that I try to refer to when things are looking rather bleak. It's from Michael J. Fox. I hope you won't mind my sharing it in your comments (because I'm going to do it anyway!). Here it is "Don't spend a lot of time imagining the worst-case scenario. It rarely goes down as you imagine it will, and if by some fluke it does, you will have lived it twice. When things do go bad, don't run, don't hide. It will take time, but you'll find that even the gravest problems are finite, and your choices are infinite." Put things in perspective for me.

LEAT said...

This is wonderful - thank you for making me laugh! (I just wish I could have read this on Saturday when all I wanted to do was be miserable - might have taken me less time to get over it by embracing it BIG!!)

Dana @ Bungalow'56 said...

I think you go to great lengths to be a glass half full kind of gal. You've got a pretty great mister to go along with it.
Dana

Nick Thomas said...

..and then the weekend started, and things really went downhill..

Stef said...

OH man. That would be so fun. I wonder what my kids would say. They will have thought I lost my mind...that or joined their ranks. Great post!

Anna said...

Dear Jenny,
What a clever post. Even when you are gloomy, you make others happy by giving them a good hearty laugh. (The comments that this post inspires are also fun to read.) I really like the photo illustrations of a lemon with screws and the rainy weather pics and rainbow.
Bless you Jenny! I love this post. Please give Mr. Jenny a hug from me!
Best wishes & hugs from
Anna

Gattina said...

I agree very much that it is VERY hard to be negative for one day and see everything in black when you are a positive person !
How could you hold on that long ? Mr. G. also takes it easy he behaves like your Mr. Jenny, hahaha !

Bonnie said...

I think this just might be my very favorite post I've read of yours...

So so so funny but also very very clever!

Have a wonderful day!

hugs

Bonnie said...

ps. I was just thinking about how when I'm at work during the day I sit there (while answering calls) and sort of meditate... thinking positive thoughts, visualizing things in my life like when I get home my hubby will feel better, the kids homework will go smoothly, I will have tons of energy, my kids won't fight. I feel so good and positive all day and then................ I get home and it starts out fine and then it slowly deteriorates right before my eyes. I end up falling apart and shout and rant at the boys. I go to bed and think how I could have handled that better. I made it all day up to the bitter end and then darn it I lost it!

Maybe I should visualize the worst and then it won't seem so bad heehee

Busy Bee Suz said...

Only you could make doom and gloom seem funny and light. ;)
I hope your days are always filled with sunshine and happiness. (oh, and rainbows and unicorns too)

Aunt Amelia's Attic said...

WOW!!!!!!

Next time someone says I'm grumpy, I'll point 'em here!

>,-)

Nadeen said...

I'm a mouse and I was in the corner listening and watching this whole interaction happen and trust me: it did, it can at this household!

Every single word, every single snort, every single Bwahahahahahaaaa!

The Muse said...

i had to come from the lurking shadows...
to tell you i found your meds...
the happy pills are right here...
and look, they are lemon flavored :)

keep the keys tapping...
no matter your mood...!
this lurker is always smiling through your glass window :)

Pondside said...

Oh Jenny - I needed that laugh! I've just had a day of smiling brightly at every sort of troubled/ill/confused/inebriated client while sitting in every sort of sad office/clinic/rubby-dub hotel lobby. My face hurts and I wish I could have a bath in detoll. Your zany, whacky post is, as always, the greatest.

Ames said...

Wha? Is today Friday? What happened to Thursday?? Did I miss it? I know I was gone up north looking at the leaves. And I know the time fell back, but did I lose a day?? I am so confused!!! I haven't even written my Alphabe~Thursday "H" post. How did I miss it? I am so confused. Are you messing with me? Jenny?? :D ~Ames

Sue (Someone's Mom) said...

I actually think that the blessing is that you found each other:)