Friday, November 5, 2010

So, yea...I'm hot...

Who knew that so many men would be looking for an overweight, frumpy middle-aged woman?

It's a revelation I tell ya.

I have been getting e-mail after e-mail from different websites telling me that guys are looking for me.

It's true!

I'm not kidding.

Yesterday I got two e-mails.

One said that 7 men were looking for me. One said that 4 men were trying to find me.

See?


That makes 11. 7 + 4 equals 11 right? ... add the 3, carry the 1, yea...definitely 11.

Already this morning I had an e-mail telling me that 2 men were looking for me.

Why are they looking for me, though?

Do you think they might be lawyers and I've inherited money from some long lost relative?

For only $9.95 I can access their websites to identify these mysterious men. If they're lawyers wanting to give me a money, it's totally worth the ten bucks, right?


But what if they're ... ummm.. guys just looking for a good time? You know? With a hot, middle-aged, overweight, frumpy woman.

I'm confused here.

And maybe that's what they're looking for. A CONFUSED hot, middle-aged, overweight frumpy woman. And if they are...they have definitely come to the right place.

But then, why wouldn't they be paying ME $9.95 for the joy of basking in my menopausal, control top panty glow?

Or is that illegal?

Or immoral?

Or something like that.

I hope reading this didn't make you feel all insecure and stuff because you're not getting this spam...I mean.... ummm... sincere e-mails, too.


And please...please....please...don't tell Mr. Jenny I even wrote about this. When he gets insecure he becomes all clingy and needy and stuff worrying that I might be thinking about answering some of these e-mails.

Seriously.

How much insecure and clingy can a hot, middle-aged, overweight, frumpy woman deal with before she is pushed to using her credit card for that reasonable, one-time fee of $9.95.

Sigh.

Being me can be so exhausting sometimes.

post signature

43 comments:

JDaniel4's Mom said...

It sounds like you are on the radar screen of hot with men these day.

My name is PJ. said...

Geez, if you get all of that for $9.95, I wonder what you'd get if you paid, say, $10?

Julienne said...

Oh the joys of being wanted!!!!!

noexcuses said...

What a funny post! I don't get emails, but I do get ads on the sidebar of my screen. Sometimes these guys just live in the town next to me.

Love this post!

Terra said...

Hilarious jenny! I haven't seen those yet, but I am sure it is only a matter of time (not to burst your bubble) but eventually the spam hits us all...I have an email address that is so cluttered with spam I don't even check it anymore...maybe I have some men looking for me at that address...

Theresa said...

I get them too, they are looking for two women... obviously they have a thing for memopausals:) You go ahead, I am gonna keep my $9.95 for Estrogen! Enjoy your day, you crazy lady! HUGS!

mle said...

Dontcha think Mr. Jenny would be doubly insecure if it were women looking for you? Women can be lawyers too, ya know : )

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

Thank you for the morning giggles. I read this outloud for my hubby - he's writing a check for $9.95 to send to you. He said you sound "worth it"
:-)

Jocelyn said...

OK.....I think I am really jealous!!! I didn't get any men looking for me!!!! That stinks!!!

What a great price....for only $9.95!!!! How much better can it get...

My lips are sealed...I won't tell...but if you get any really good finds....will you share with me!!!

LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ain't for city gals said...

Yea but...do you really want to live in India or Russia??? lol..cute post..

The Quintessential Magpie said...

LOL!

Just do me a favor, Jenny, okay? PLEASE don't send your fan club my way!

XO,

Sheila :-)

Nezzy said...

What can I say...your a smokin' hot (menopausal) middle aged star baby! Enjoy the spotlight and buy a good fan! (No pun on word there...really)
Heeehehehhe!

Thanks for the knee jurkin' tear rollin' side hurtin' laugh this morn sweetie!

God bless ya and have a glorious weekend girl!

Willoughby said...

Now I feel bad, I don't get any emails like that!

However, I think I must be the luckiest person in the world. I've won so many international lotteries that I'm probably worth a billion dollars by now. I haven't collected on any of them but I keep getting emails. They're legitimate, right??

Life in Rehab said...

Well I haven't had any hot men trying to track down my aging fanny, but I know that every one of my relatives who goes sets foot in Nigeria dies in a fiery plane crash leaving no heirs. This was hysterical! Thanks for the laugh.

Jeanie said...

Well, I am starting to feel a little insecure and stuff, especially since all I get are offers for the little blue pill.

ridgely johnson said...

I just wanted to compliment you on that lovely photo of you on the post- that may explain all the attention you are getting. ;-)

Bonnie said...

Well, I knew it was only a matter of time before they came knocking on your door or in this case your blog Miss Jenny.

It's just the price you pay for being you...

Maybe you should share it with Mr. Jenny It would keep him on his toes! haha

Aging Mommy said...

OH my, clearly I am considered inferior product as I have not had a single email like that. I do get some very interesting requests but sadly none of these :-)

Kim @ Savvy Southern Style said...

Jenny, that is so funny. I won't tell Mr. Jenny, I promise.

fredamans said...

ROFL.
You go girl!

Busy Bee Suz said...

Control top panty glow?
You are a hot hoot. That is why they are looking for you!!!

One Mama said...

Hehe Maybe I can loan you the money to find out! I've apparently won the lottery in at least three countries and have an unknown relative somewhere in Africa who has recently passed away and left me their fortune!

Judie said...

Rod gets emails from hot young women who want him to view their photos. So far, he has ignored them. Well, at least he tells me that. Do you think he is lying to me? Maybe I should send them photos of HIM, a balding senior citizen with a tummy. What do you think?

My Grama's Soul said...

Hello there.....I can always start my day with a good belly laugh when I visit you.

Xo
Jo

Catherine Love said...

LOL Jenny! At least you aren't getting emails promising to enlarge parts of your anatomy that you don't even have (sigh).

Blessings,
Catherine :) ... who will try to hop back on the Alphabe-Thursday wagon next week. I've missed it, but life has been very crazy lately ... but then when is it not? :)

Cheryl D. said...

That's so strange--I get those emails too. But what's even more strange is that I must have a penis I don't know about, because I keep getting emails on how I can make it larger.

Not that I want to.

Yikes!

Sue said...

Figures. You get emails from men clamoring to pay you some positive attention.

I, on the other hand, am deluged with emails encouraging me to increase the dimensions of various body parts that I either don't have or don't care about.

"/

LuLu Kellogg said...

I am always getting emails from peeps wanting me to enlarge my weenie. Hmmmmm, last time I looked I didn't have one. *shrug*

xoxo

Amy said...

Sigh. What can you do? I mean there is a high demand and a definite shortage of hot middle aged menopausal frumpy women. But really, I think you should charge them. Seller's market, you know. Or something like that. At least it does wonders for your self esteem, being that sought after, right?

Jackie said...

That's creepy . I still haven't figured out how to use spam filters . It is exhausting to have to delete them all the time lol

Marlene said...

Yesterday someone wanted to know if I was interested in checking out an escort service, and today, they offered to enlarge my penis!

Dee said...

LOL. I am laughing as hard at your commenters as I am your post. You funny funny lady. :)

Wanda..... said...

My computer is on it's last legs and has to be replaced, probably because it has worked itself to death keeping spam (I mean sincere e-mails) from my door! :)

Jo said...

you sexy thing you ... no one's emailing me asking for 9.95 ... i guess that's a good thing!!!

Sharon K. Mayhew said...

I'm totally jealous! I'm guessing you don't want to forward it to any of your "friends?"

Great post! You made me laugh out loud...thanks!!!

RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild said...

It's even worse when the emails are real, I tell ya. I'm glad for you they're just spam.
xoRobyn

Stef said...

Haha. That is so funny. Apparently we need viagra...even though I have 5 children. I think we got that one covered, than-you-very-much!
Good luck with those men! YOu go girl!!

Vicki said...

HA, you're just one HOT mamma, no doubt about it.

Cheryl said...

I gotta go with PJ on this. Shoot the wad. Pay 'em 10 bucks and watch their heads spin.

Gattina said...

Don't get illusions ! they only look for somebody to iron their shirts, wash their socks and dirty underwear, lol ! Not to forget the nursing when they are sick !

Jennifer said...

Look at you! All those mens trying to get at ya'! Tsk, tsk, tsk... Naughty, Jenny...

Tina said...

frumpy? middle aged? blah!

i bet those men dont even exsist once you pay the fee! such a con isnt it!

Sue (Someone's Mom) said...

Now I'm feeling ignored. I'm also middle-aged, frumpy and working really hard on the overweight part.