Monday, December 20, 2010

A beautiful Christmas story...perhaps...

So...

It's almost Christmas.

As of Friday night, sadly and pathetically we didn't have our tree up yet. In years past I have put up as many as three Christmas trees (during one particularly obsessive year I actually did four...sigh) but for the past several holidays we've cut back to a single tree.

It's artificial.

Don't be a hater. We live in Arizona. Real trees cost about a gazillion dollars here and I think they're bad for the environment or something. I am all about saving the environment at Christmas, aren't you?

OK, OK. I'll tell the truth. It has nothing to do with the environment and I'm pretty sure trees don't cost a gazillion dollars here. It's just that I've gotten lazy in my old age. There! Happy now?

On Saturday, Mr. Jenny volunteered to put the tree up. I didn't nag. Really. I didn't whine. Seriously.

And I really, truly wasn't trying to manipulate him on Friday night when I told him that when our Granddaughters had arrived at the house after an early release from school on Friday, they had run frantically from room to room. I wasn't sure what was happening until the middle one said, "OK Grandma! We give up! Where did you hide the tree?" Describing the shocked look on her face when I'd had to inform her that it wasn't up yet might have been the catalyst for Mr. Jenny's kind offer.

On Saturday morning, there was hardly any swearing in the living room and after only a few thumps and bumps he came into my office and proudly ushered me out to see his work.

The only problem was he had put up the wrong tree.

The tall, skinny tree purchased for the high ceilings of the living room did not fit comfortably into the lower ceilinged family room.


BUT...

Mindful of the fact that some of you say I am too hard on him...

And driven by the possibility that he might say, "Well, just put up the other one yourself then..."

I kept my mouth shut.

I didn't sigh.

I didn't cross my eyes.

I just said, "Thank you."

Aren't you proud of me?

The end.

...

...

OK, it's not really the end.

Because when we got home from a Christmas party Saturday evening he looked at the tree and said, "Hmmm...that doesn't look right. Is that the right tree?"

And I, in keeping with the generous spirit of Christmas, replied, "No, but it looks good. It is just fine."

"Is it too tall?" he inquired.

I did not reply, "Well, d'oh...all trees are supposed to be bent over at the top like that." Instead I graciously told him, yet again, "It's just fine. Thank you for doing that."

Sunday morning I was doing some writing when I heard some thumping, bumping and swearing coming from the family room. I did not investigate. I thought perhaps Mr. Jenny had found one of my old Richard Simons 'Sweating to the Oldies' VCR tapes and was trying to surprise me with a six-pack for Christmas.

More thumping and bumping...a few more swear words...

A six-pack! What fun that would be. I gave him his privacy.

Finally, he came into my office all sweaty and red-faced. Richard Simons! I knew it!

But instead of showing me his well muscled abs, he said, "Come with me." I followed him to the family room where the correct Christmas tree had been assembled. The skinny, too tall tree was gone.


Gosh.

I was a little surprised and not disappointed at all that I wouldn't be getting a six-pack for Christmas.

Instead I got the perfect tree. From the perfect husband.

And besides. If he had gotten a six-pack for Christmas then I would have had to get one as well.

And to be honest, I think I might have missed our jelly bellies.

In fact, I'm certain of it. Without them I'm not sure if we could fill out our Santa and Mrs. Claus suits correctly?

I am signing out from this beautiful Christmas story post with a...

HoHoHo...

...and a sigh...

Sigh.

post signature

34 comments:

Susannah said...

:-) - I love your writing! Thanks again for the smiles to start my day.

RoeH said...

I love it!! :))

Anonymous said...

beautiful.

Cheryl said...

Purty story, Ms. Jenny. But why oh why oh why did you sigh? Contentment?

Jules said...

Have a merry Christmas round that just right tree!

noexcuses said...

Lovely, just lovely. I thought I was one of the few who married a thumper, bumper & cussing husband! I would have done exactly the same as you! Great post!

Paula ~ castleandcottagesigns said...

See Virginia?, there is a Santa Claus!! What a wonderful Christmas story Jenny!! :)

Terra said...

Red and green Jelly bellies? My favorite! This is an excellent Christmas story. I am proud of you for not complaining because it was a tree after all, and I am thrilled the Mr changed it on his own because it is Christmas after all and if you can't have a live tree you might as well have the right fake one!

Unknown said...

I love that he figured it out for himself.

I love Jellie Bellies too. Maybe I will get some in my stocking from Santa this year.

Auntie sezzzzzz... said...

Because of where you live, I'm so glad to read that you do artificial!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

'Tis Yule Eve, and I wish you joy...

Gentle Yule hugs...

Busy Bee Suz said...

Yes, you do have the perfect husband. Non six pack people are happier, I swear.
xoxoxo
Suz

cj Schlottman said...

Oh, Jenny! Such a touching and humorous story. I love that you are a Christmas Tree Freak! (I have more than one, and that's all I'm confessing to). And Dear Mr. Jenny - what a wonderful man you have, even it he does thump and bump and throw in a few swear words occasionally. My husband was the same way - perfect.

Merry Christmas to all of you!
..................cj

MrsJenB said...

What a sweet man. We are *both* lucky to have perfect husbands, I see :-)

Linda @ A La Carte said...

Jenny and Mr Jenny, you make my day with your stories, fun and laughter! Jenny at this stage in my life not sure what I would do with a six pack unless it was the drinkable kind! Sigh...love you and Merry Christmas with your perfect tree!

Anonymous said...

Oh, that was excellent! "OK, it's not really the end" - FUNNY! :)

Kayren said...

awwww...sweet...

I'm glad there's another non-six-packer out there with me! And I don't wear a suit.

Tina said...

Once again, I'm giggling. I so enjoy my visits here. Merry Christmas my friend.

Ames said...

Men! You've got to give him an "A" for effort Jenny! Your a good person to let him figure it all out too!

One year, my husband wrapped all his Christmas presents to us in newspaper and duck tape. We laughed so hard. He said he couldn't find the wrapping paper. Gosh darn if it was a snake it would have bit him. He does what I call the man search. Totally helpless that one.

Hey I've got a 12 pack, I'll split it with ya if you really want a sixer! It's Christmas...I'm feelin' generous. ~Ames

Amy said...

What a wonderfully sweet hubby! And its about time you got that tree up, good gracious! Your granddaughters make me laugh. Hiding it would be a fun sort of game, don't you think? Glad it is up.

Judie said...

Well, as you know, if any tree gets put up and decorated at my house, I am not the one who's going to do it. That came about several years ago when I told him if he wanted to control what went on here at Christmas time, he could damn well do the whole magilla.

Rod believes that less is more, so the tree looks rather sparse, but it is up. Diane told him that it needed more ornaments but of course, he wouldn't listen. That's o.k. The kids are too old to notice stuff like that.

I don't want Rod to develop a six-pack. I like a guy with some meat on his bones--much better for hugging.

I like jelly beans, too. I am way too anal when I eat them, though--one color at a time!

Bonnie said...

I'm at work in the break room on my lunch and you had me laughing out loud.. I got a few curious looks to which I responded "Oh, it's just this Miss Jenny at it again!"

Susan Anderson said...

What a marvelous man you married!

=)

Unknown said...

AWWWW!

I'm still waiting on the house elves to trim mine, though.

Pat Tillett said...

Nice post Jenny! I am proud of you for keeping it to yourself (the wrong tree). I probably would have moved the tree to the room it was intended for... I'm just lazy like that! Happy Holidays!

J said...

What a sweet little story, Jenny. :)

You always put a smile on my face... And a early Merry Christmas to you! :D

Deb said...

Mr. Jenny came through once again....great job...and you Jenny for holding your tongue...

Betty said...

I decorated our artificial tree this past weekend. I love our tree because the lights are already on it and all I have to do is put three pieces together and open the branches. Hang stuff on it and it's done. Here a lot of people take their trees down on the 26th. I'm always amazed at all the trees I see out at the curb. I think that might be a southern tradition because the live trees die so quickly after baking in the sun on the tree lots. Up north we always kept our trees up until after the 1st of January. I miss a live tree, but they just don't last.

Missy said...

Awe, your patience ranks you right up there with a saint or two!

21 Wits said...

You reacted like the perfect wife, and what a beautiful tree by far...the other one not so much even if it did fit on the page well...and your granddaughters will love it!

Cheryl Kohan said...

This is now my favorite Christmas story. I'm going to send out the link because it's so special.

And I'm very proud of you.

Tara said...

Oh, I've missed your stories and your humor! Loved it! I hope you are having a beautiful holiday season Jenny!

People Who Know Me Would Say: said...

I laughed more times than I can count. I'm going to school on you, Matlock. You're a great wife. Yup. I'm fairly certain if I'd been born with a different sexual orientation, I'd marry you myself. Actually, every woman needs a wife too. Our lives would run more smoothly. I have one. Her name is Marilyn. I call her Merlin. I pay her $15 an hour and she's worth every penny.

H said...

YAAAAY for Mr Jenny! Isn't he brilliant changing over that tree for you?! I hope you both get lots of joy out of it this Christmas (and your Grands too).

Unknown said...

AWwwwwwwwww Mr. Jenny is a sweetie! Give that wonderful man some jelly beans!