Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Can you keep a secret?

I mean seriously. Don't tell Santa I said this.

But I am really annoyed with his elves.

Not a fan.

Sure they look all smiling and happy and helpful...

..but frankly I'm getting sick of being fooled by those sweet looking little faces. I tested the rumor, yet again, that they are helpful and kind and jump right in to help with any and all chores.

A few days ago I started getting out my Christmas decorating stuff (pictures are blurred to let me maintain a teeny, tiny bit of my pride...sigh) and I deliberately left a big mess just so the elves would feel needed.


Ya know? I was just trying to do my part to help build their confidence because I read somewhere that elves have notoriously low self-esteem...being so short and all...

Just trying to do my part as a compassionate, caring, non-elf-discriminatory type person and all.

And what do they do? They obviously just came over and hung out in the living room, probably found the wine fridge, maybe found the hidden bag of hershey kisses...

They just did absolutely, totally, zero in the help department.

And I'm disgusted.

But since I am all fair-minded and everything I'm willing to leave the mess up just one more day to give them a chance to redeem themselves.

Sigh...

You can go to the link to all 7 Giveaways if you want to enter one last time by just clicking here. I shall sit down with a big ol' tumbler of whiskey ... ummm.... I mean a glass of ice water ... and ask Mr. Random Integer to help me do the first five drawings tonight! Good luck to you all... and to all a good night.

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33 comments:

Jojo said...

I don't ask for elf help in getting decorations up...the elves need to be available when it's time to take it all down.

When my kids were small I used to laugh at how they would run to help with all the decorations but then when the clean up started there was no one to be found. Kids and elves...I'm seeing a close correlation here.

biyagko_barbaru said...

I wish I can see an elf.

Susannah said...

I love it! LOL

Thanks for the smiles. :-)

JDaniel4's Mom said...

I have "elf help". When he is good, he is very very good. When he doesn't want to help, he doesn't.

Jocelyn said...

What is up with those elves....are they on a work stoppage.....they have not appeared here either and I am getting a bit annoyed!!!

I think I will check out the fridge and see if anything is missing!!!

Maybe we need to contact the Better Business and Santa and put in a complaint!!!

Love ya girlie!!!

La said...

Darn elves haven't been helping at my house either! Have a great day! La

Crystal Jigsaw said...

Yes, those elves have certainly stayed away from my house, too!

CJ xx

Joanne Lendaro said...

No Elves at my house either... =\

~Lavender Dreamer~ said...

I will have to confess....they came to my house to help! They are in every room making it beautiful and festive! Sorry...I'll send them back over to help you now! hohoho! Can't wait for tonight! I feel like jumping up and down and saying pick me! But I'll be happy for all of the lucky winners! Hugs! ♥

Jeanie said...

Well. no, I can't keep a secret, so you will just have to hope I don't run into Santa any time soon.

Busy Bee Suz said...

As soon as they get done here, I will send them over.
And really, you need to lock the wine fridge. They are very stressed this time of year!

5thsister said...

Oh, you don't even want to see what the elves won't clean up at my home! I can barely get through the dining room. It's like a scene from "Hoarders" with all the Christmas stuff waiting to be put up.

Willoughby said...

I think we've had a visit from the anti-elves. You know, the ones Santa ousted from the North Pole for their poor work ethic?

Our pretty outdoor snowflake lights, which worked perfectly last year, are malfunctioning. At first, two snowflakes wouldn't stay lit, now there are about four that mock us by blacking out at random. I'm blaming the anti-elves. I think they are also responsible for the injuries to one of our reindeer. His head falls off every now and then and lays in the snow, still lit. Decapitated reindeer are not as festive as you might think.

Tina said...

I'm sorry they let you down! Around here we compromise. They boys do the toting and carrying of the boxes that I've packed up. Works for us.

Linda @ A La Carte said...

If I saw and Elf I would probably faint...like the Santa and M&M commercial...that one cracks me up. I'm thinking I'm going to be the one to clean up the mess made from decorating. Ah well...one can always hope.

{ L } said...

lol. You're officially the first person I knew who "tested" for elves in the area. ;) Our house gets so messy during the holidays I WISH we had a team of elves in here.

Pat @ Mille Fiori Favoriti said...

Jenny I am so behind in Christmas preparations I know I'll never catch up! My tree has been sitting lightless for a few days as I wait for hubby to put them on so I can decorate. I am writing out cards today. I have baking and shopping and wrapping to do. But in the end it will all get done --I hope!
Anyway the important part of the holiday is celebrating Jesus's birth and sharing love with our family and friends!
♥ Pat

Ames said...

It's that darn new generation of elves. They're like bleepin wood chucks. You don't need no stinkin elves. Gnomes is the way to go. Yeah they're ugly but hey with the cost of healthcare going up even the gnomes need to work! Just don't leave out any bubble bath. I hear they love to take long soakers. Merry Christmas Jenny!:D ~Ames

Ames said...

P.S. have one of them there glasses of umm... er... water fer me too! Everybody needs a little holiday cheer!~Ames

"Alone again.... naturally!" said...

Same as the Gremlins under the bed....all they ever did for me was steal my son's underwear and socks, when he was a kid!

Theresa said...

The Elves aren't doing such a HOT job around my house either:( You just can't get good help these days! Hope they do better today, if so... send them to my house! Have a blessed day, hugs!

Amy said...

Okay, Ames just made my day. Stinking hilarious.
I blame the shoemaker. I think he was in some kind of deal with the elves so people would think elves were helpful, but really, they go through your house moving things, hiding things, and burning out the Christmas lights. They are pranksters, you know. And this time of year they have to let out their stress somehow. So they prey on unsuspecting hopefuls who leave things out for them to help with. I think it is because Santa gets all the praise, eggnog, and cookies. They are just exacting their revenge. Quick, hide your valuables before they do!!!

Jennifer said...

I feel like I haven't read anything from you in awhile, which may or may not be true.

In the blogging world, days seem to move by slower...

Either way, you crack me up. :D

Su-sieee! Mac said...

I know what you mean, Jenny. In my case, it's the gremlins. I don't know how many times they've left my undone cleaning, projects, or writing undone. Still, I keep giving them a chance. Merry Christmas!

Sue said...

I could use a few elves around here myself.

Instead, I use indentured servants.
(my family members)

;)

Jo said...

I have one elf, but she is only good for decorating & wrapping she draws the line there ... so the baking the cards the other wrapping and making 3 more gifts still needs to be done and here i am visiting my favourite blog friends instead ... i have a feeling the rest of christmas is going to be store bought and not homemade ...

Cheryl D. said...

Those elves sound like they're beyond incompetent! They should get thrown out of the house pronto!

Marlene said...

But they're so cute!!!!

Sorry I haven't been around much. Busy season - and then my daughter had to go and get herself stranded on a major highway in a blizzard, no less....for 30 hours. There were about 500 others, so she wasn't alone - but it was still very scary as she spent the entire night out there in the cold.

Judie said...

Whiskey, Jen? Hahaha! Yesterday we had our Ladies Golf Association Christmas party, and it started with a short tournament. One of the gals in our foursome brought a flask of "the recipe" to share with all of us while we played. What a fun game that was!!!

Together We Save said...

My girls help me... my husband usually escapes to the game room.

Aunt Amelia's Attic said...

No! No! Never trust elves to do the job! At least, not if they're like other fey. 'Cause I read a lot of Paranormal books, and... Well... I can tell ya'. None of the fey, can be trusted much.

In fact, I'm into my second such book in a row and I'm thinking I'd better get out the necklace 'Uncle A.' made for me. Not pretty and sparkly, but useful!

A lot of the fey don't like iron. And he made a hanging pendent of a very OLD iron nail. Betcha' very old iron is even more powerful, don't you figure? Sounds good anyway.

Yes, before I delve back into the Goblin Wars book, I'd better put my iron necklace on!!!!!!

And I'd not be bad-mouthing elves or any fey, btw. Unless you have some iron around. Mmmmm no! This is taking tooooo many chances. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...

>,-)

The Words Crafter said...

Yeah, what you said! That's why my house looks the way it does :P

Cheryl said...

I haven't been able to get that silly song "We Are Santa Elves" out of my head since I read this 24 hours ago.

Send elves.