Monday, July 4, 2011

I apologize that I cannot share my planned 4th of July programming today with you...

...but...

It's Mr. Jenny's fault.

Really.

So...

On Sunday I found out that somebody stole all my CD's. Well, except for all the Christmas ones and the strange ones that Mr. Jenny had before I married him. And, no, there is no possibility whatsoever that I just misplaced the plastic storage bin I originally put them in. Geez. As if!

The only CD I could find was a Time Life compilation entitled 'Songs of the Seventies'.

The reason I even needed the CD was because I wanted to swim laps (vague translation: float around on my back) in the pool! Seventies music is good swimming music, right?

Ummm... maybe...

Because I found it really hard to swim laps while laughing hysterically at the song choices that came on...Afternoon Delight, My Baby Loves Lovin', and Chevy Van being a few of the prime-time music hits I enjoyed while flailing about trying to not actually get my head wet while swimming free style.

But...

Then...

Something amazing happened.

Billie Don't be Hero began playing. I actually have it loaded here on my blog for the 4th of July. If you don't have your sound playing you're gonna want to turn it on now, because it's a wicked cool song. I'm sorry if you read this after the fifth of July, though, because it's only playing here for the 4th and 5th of July...So...

Yeah. I got really excited.

I listened to the lyrics carefully, and eealized I had a perfect idea to share with you!

I called Mr. Jenny out to the pool. I restarted that track on the CD. He made a wincing face. "Where did you find that horrible music?" he asked.

I told him the whole stolen CD thing, and then told him my idea!

"Quick! Get your swimsuit on! We are going to make a water ballet ACTING OUT THAT SONG FOR THE FOURTH OF JULY FOR MY BLOG READERS!"


He looked scared.

"C'mon," I assured him, "It'll be fun! Just listen to those lyrics!"

The marchin' band came down along Main Street
The soldier-blues fell in behind
I looked across and there I saw Billy
Waiting to go and join the line
And with her head upon his shoulder
His young and lovely fiancee
From where I stood, I saw she was cryin'
And through her tears I heard her say

"Billy, don't be a hero, don't be a fool with your life"
"Billy, don't be a hero, come back and make me your wife"
And as he started to go she said "Billy, keep your head lo-o-ow"
"Billy, don't be a hero, come back to me"


"See?!? See! I'm teling ya! This would be so cool! Go get your swimsuit on!"

He did not look convinced.

I sang the rest of the lyrics to him...

Very loudly...

He's a bit hard of hearing, you know!

The soldier-blues were trapped on a hillside
The battle raging all around
The sergeant cried "We've got to hang on, boys"
"We got to hold this piece a'ground"
"I need a volunteer to ride up"
"And bring us back some extra men"
And Billy's hand was up in a moment
Forgettin' all the words she said

She said
"Billy, don't be a hero, don't be a fool with your life"
"Billy, don't be a hero, come back and make me your wife"
And as he started to go she said "Billy, keep your head lo-o-ow"
"Billy, don't be a hero, come back to me"

I heard his fiancee got a letter
That told how Billy died that day
The letter said that he was a hero
She should be proud he died that way
I heard she threw that letter away


"It'll be brilliant! We can march into the pool, I can plead with you dramatically, you can go off to war and then..."

He interrupted me. "Well, you know if we do this, YOU have to be in the movie wearing YOUR swimsuit, right? You know that, right?"

"Huh?"

He repeated himself, "Sure, I'll go get my swimsuit on and make a little movie with you,BUT YOU HAVE TO BE IN IT, TOO, WEARING YOUR OWN SWIMSUIT!!!"

What the heck?

Geez.

I never thought of that.

"Maybe I can just film you being all dramatic," I suggested.

"Nope. No way. This water ballet needs two people...me as the soldier...you as the fiance."

Hmmm...

Wear my swimsuit?

In public?

In front of anyone that is not blind?

Yeah.

I don't think so.

But, hey, hope your 4th of July was great even without my water ballet idea.


Sigh...

post signature

37 comments:

BlackLOG said...

I always felt if only Billy hadn’t been a hero, we would never have been saddle with this dreadful song….or if Paper Lace* had been made of paper Lace, your swimming pool would have finished them off.

* how sad is it that after years of expensive therapy and just when I thought I had managed to rid them from my life forever you bring them back into my mind….The nightmare’s are going to start all over again….

Jojo said...

But if you'd performed this water ballet, wouldn't you be IN THE WATER? We wouldn't have seen you in you swimsuit anyway. That would have been the best! In fact you probably could charge $$ for such a performance!

PⒿ @ $ € € ₦$ ₣®0₥... said...

Happy Fourth, Matlock and Matlock! Loved the card sentiment. Loved it!
Miss you.

vivian said...

YOu crack me up! now I just have to say, I LOVE 70's music and have a bunch of it uploaded to my blog. And, Ive heard that song, Billy dont be a hero. a hundred times, but had no clue what it was about. I'm sure that I've even mindlessly sang along with the song and never paid any attenting to what I was singing. what a sad song!
well, I hope you do get your hubby out in the pool to do some water ballet! lol! that would be a great way to spend the 4th of july!
have a great day!
xoxo
vivian

Terra said...

Hilarious Jenny and I do like those lyrics!!!

Wanderer said...

ROFLMBO!! This is great! I love that song and the music of that era, too! Thanks for a good belly laugh to start my 4th! It's so funny because I can sooooo relate! :)

Mid-Atlantic Martha said...

yes -- the 70's were filled with great lyrics -- and fashions too -- you should have word your 70's bathing suit too! LOL!

taylorsoutback said...

The thought of wearing a swimsuit would have done it for me - the world has enough to deal with!

You are too funny! And Mr. Matlock was able to stay one step ahead of you on this one...great post.

Pondside said...

I only put a swimsuit on after scouting things out and ensuring that I am not the only 50 something with a few extra pounds here and there (and here again!)

Linda @ A La Carte said...

Jenny 'story songs' as I call them from the 70's are always so funny and dramatic. While I would have loved the water ballet I would not anyone to see me in a bathing suit either so I understand. However, should you change your mind I will be here LMAO!! hugs, Linda

Bossy Betty said...

I think this is a great idea! Don't give up on it!!! I'll be singing that song all day now!

Betty (picture circa 1951) said...

You could always do it at night when it's dark. Happy 4th of July!!

Susan said...

Too cute...I think you should go for it,
Just like the Nike ad...just do it!!
Susan

Lorrie said...

70s music is the best! Lots of great lyrics and tunes. I think a water ballet is a brilliant idea and I can't understand why Mr. Jenny scared you so badly with the whole bathing suit thing. You'd be IN the water, and you know how water refracts light and makes everything look distorted. Blame whatever you want on the water and the light!

Ames said...

Who sang that song?? I am still trying to put a tune to it!

Jenny it's your patriotic right to put on your bikini and Mr. Jenny his speedo and make that movie! NOT! Hee hee. :D

La said...

Happy Independence Day, Jenny.

So did Steve say,

Jenny, don't be a hero, don't you know you are my wife

Jenny, don't be a hero, come back and put on your clothes...

Have a great week! La

Sue said...

Actually, reading the "script" was almost as good as seeing it...

;)

PS. I LOVE Afternoon Delight!

Sue said...

PPS. The song AND the delight...

Dazee Dreamer said...

Aahhh come on. I posted a picture of my bedhead once. You are probably sizzling hotttttt.

Madge said...

I'm sitting next to the pool at the hotel right now, I started getting pretty excited about the prospect of doing some synchronized swimming, until I realized that part of synchronized swimming is actually swimming, I don't do swimming because I don't want to get my hair wet, it's cute today, and I'm meeting my boss's family for the first time. So sorry, no swimming for me.

Judie said...

O.k., I want to know what happened to the rest of your CDs!!

Amy said...

I have never heard that song! Well, until today. I must say, that whistling is awesome! :) And I agree with Sue. Reading the script is probably just as good as seeing the real thing. It was great. You have the most amazing way of saying things!

Ms. A said...

You are SO funny... and that's coming from someone that doesn't laugh often!

Happy 4th!

Theresa said...

Oh my goodness, Jenny... I was just about to see you in your bathing suit:) That would have been as good as you seeing me in mine! Have a blessed day my nutty friend, HUGS!

Jo said...

but what happened to the cd's??? hysterically funny Jenny!!!

Jo said...

but what happened to the cd's??? hysterically funny Jenny!!!

Jennifer said...

billy don't be a hero will be stuck in my head now.

but this made me laugh!

JJ said...

Jenny: I do not comment often enough on your site, and I know many of my followers do. It is really terrific, and I will stop by more often - especially since I appreciate humor!

Gattina said...

No problem for me ! The 4th is a day like all others in Belgium. I would have to wear or not to wear a swimsuit on July 21st !

myorii said...

Happy belated 4th of July to you too, Jenny! No celebrations for us here since the 4th is just a regular work day here.

I was actually looking forward to seeing your water ballet since it sounded pretty awesome. Maybe you should have had your grandlittles act it out for you :)

Cheryl said...

That would have been awesome. Chicken.

Busy Bee Suz said...

YOU just crack me UPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!

Happy belated 4th to you and your family.

xoxxo

Willoughby said...

Water ballet....what a great idea! All we did was float around in the pool and get sunburned. Hope you had a great 4th!!

laurie @ bargain hunting said...

Oh Jenny, I am laughing out loud! You are so much fun! laurie

Dapoppins said...

But Jenny i want to see your swimsuit! Oh...you've got to read the children's story, The swimsuit, in that book...one of those books, Frog and Toad...where Frog, or was it Toad, wears a swimsuit... It would make you laugh.

Oh. Can I be you when I grow up?

Sue (Someone's Mom) said...

Guess I'm a little late for the music! I did enjoy the visual...and I like 70's music, don't you really? Of course I have a few of those 70's assorto cds and I don't really play them often, but I do like it when a 70's song comes on the radio!

Melinda Cornish said...

you are a nut, swimsuit wearing or not......