Weaving Dreams

... so often dreams leave me puzzled, uplifted, confused, sad or just introspective.

One of my most recurring dreams is of Alice by the church ruins talking to me about parables. It is is a frustrating dream. I puzzle over her statement "The answer is in the parable" often because I feel she is trying to tell me something to pass on to her children or grand-children but I have yet to make sense of it.

Last night, though, I dreamt of my sister, Liz. This is the first full dream I have had of her since she died last March. It was almost a video clip dream...one of those slightly jerky, slow motion ones like an old movie reel.

I dreamt that Liz was spinning and twirling to the Stevie Nicks song "Touched by Angel". She was wearing this flow-y, bell-y white dress and just moving to the music. I was just watching her, she didn't know I was there.

I was surprised because the song I associate with her death is "500 Miles" which I was singing to her right before she died. I have gone over and over those last few minutes looking for a clue, looking for a moment when she might have know, looking for something. But all that plays over and over again is just that release, that moment of sublime ease.

At first when I awoke I thought my computer was on since that song is on my blog playlist. I keep hearing the lyrics "and that once more life will be a celebration and that you will be touched by angel."

Do you know this song? It was such a surreal dream.

Those lyrics just are floating around in my hand. I wonder if that's what all our loved ones want for us, really. Just to be able to celebrate life again after all the sadness and loss.

I sit here now with that song and the song "It's a Brand New Day" playing in the background. Listen to "It's a Brand New Day" .... "for the first time in a long time I know I'll be OK, Most kind of stories, save the best part for last, make your past your past. This cycle never ends, you have to fall in order to mend."

I watch gray and brilliant white clouds float across the deep blue sky and I wonder if this was Liz's message.

Maybe if we all close our eyes tightly and twirl to the music our hearts can all begin to heal.