Wednesday, March 24, 2010

It's official! I'm one step closer...

...to that great shuffleboard court in the sky.
When anything from AARP shows up in the mail I don't even look at it...I just throw the envelopes at my husband saying "hey, this is for you OLD shuffleboard man!"

So I was shocked recently when he threw one back at me saying, "this is for you OLD shuffleboard woman!"

Which, frankly, ticked me off even though there was MY name, written VERY clearly, on that dumb envelope.

Seriously.

It is only cute when I say mean stuff like that.

BUT.

If getting AARP stuff in the mail wasn't bad enough, now they are adding insult to injury and sending me e-mails, too.

And yesterday they e-mailed me that they have a free offer for me if I join.

And at first I wasn't really thinking about taking them up on it.

Even though sometimes when I am out shopping, the twelve year old clerk will say "Oh, it's your lucky day...today is Senior Discount day!"

...and I am torn between wanting to smack her and my greedy wish to save 10% off my Joanne Fabrics total.

And the free gift would be useful for that.

Just in case my wrinkles and sagging skin didn't give it away, you know!

Plus I keep seeing signs at my neighborhood grocery store saying "senior discount - 5% off your grocery total on Tuesdays".

And the free gift would be useful for distracting the cashier so she didn't ask for my ID. Because they do that, you know? It says right on the sign..."with valid drivers license" which is the only reason I haven't really ever tried it.

...

But the real reason I think the free gift would be cool is because now the grocery store is also giving out cupcakes, cookies and coffee on Senior shopping day!

And I'm certain that if I was carrying my cool, free gift the other Seniors would get out of my way which would make it so much easier to get to the chocolate cupcakes with the white icing and multi-colored sprinkles before they are all gone.

And that is important.

So...thanks AARP.
Yup.

Life is sweet.

And, luckily for me, I have always kinda/sorta liked playing shuffleboard!

Sigh.

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44 comments:

Andrea said...

Oh Jenny, that is HI-larious! I'm a laughing!!!! That bag is just too much. Go for the discount, but if you carry that bag, you'll have to wear sandals and black socks along with some bermuda shorts. Or better yet, some knee highs that are rolled down! Ha ha!

But honestly, AARP is sending that stuff out way to soon these days. My sister got stuff from them when she turned 40! gasp I may get something this year.

Sarah said...

Jenny, you crack me up! I always enjoy the humor you share. It really brightens my day. I toss my AARP things in the trash along with all the medicare opportunities, credit card applications, etc. But hey, paint over the AARP logo on that bag and enjoy. LOL
Have a great day!

Julie Schuler said...

Omg, I really want that senior discount! I'm going to shop up a storm when I turn senior.

Pondside said...

Too funny!!
The Great Dane takes great pride in making it to seniors' day - the big impostor!
Seriously though, you should live in a retirment place like Vancouver Island where I'm still called 'Miss' at my advanced age, and where I'm still the young chick in a crowd - honestly, it does wonders for the ego!

5thsister said...

Hilarious! I started receiving these notices about a year ago and I'm only 48!

They go into the trash bin...discounts can wait! Until then, I will rely upon my AAA for discounts.

kim said...

I am glad I can come to your blog and laugh hard. I get the aarp crap too. My husband has been getting it and he doesn't even look at it. I told him we should join to save money on our medical insurance that we will have to pay for when he retires. Oh, gosh, I forgot he needs to start going with me to the store to get the discount since he turned 60 this month! We also had an aarp letter come in the mail a few years ago for my son who is now almost 31. What??

Busy Bee Suz said...

Free gifts are always good. Right?
Well, if they are cupcakes...get out of my way as well!!!

Keetha Denise Broyles said...

We bit the dust and joined - - - hoping for discounts. If we have to be headed to that shuffleboard, might as well pay less along the way is my motto!!

Betty Manousos:cutand-dry.blogspot.com said...

Thanks for your wonderful comments on my blog!
I also thank you for the follow!
I am your newest follower!
Betty :)

B-Dub said...

HA! I thought I was the ONLY ONE to get AARP junk in the mail long before its time. Trust, you don't look a day over 25. They were sending those things to your mother, not to you! They are just a little confused thats all.

Unless you want to join. Then, I get it, the discounts are SO worth it!

Sares said...

If you can't beat em' join em'! I guess age has to come with SOME perks right?! Now I am off to read through all your posts I've missed the past few days. Girl, you can post with the best of them!

Karen said...

AARP? What's AARP?

You know, I've decided I'm not gonna let age get to me anymore. Every day is a gift, and all that.

We've been receiving retirement community info for years now... how do THEY know we're even close to retirement? *sigh* I can only assume AARP is right behind them.

Maggie B said...

Jenny,
I beg you don't do it!
It's a slippery slope, my friend. Next you'll be getting Saga Holiday offers, stairlift brochures and great deals on bathtubs, with doors!!
See you tomorrow
Maggie

Linda said...

AARP is mean!!! The continuously send you stuff reminding you that you are of a 'certain age' and not a spring chick any longer. I hate them. Well, I do love that travel bag!!! I would join just for that!
I am sure no one would believe I am that hold....yeah right!

MrsJenB said...

Poor Jenny! It's a milestone for sure. But if discounts are involved, what the heck?

Reminds me of the time my parents were in the grocery checkout and my dad told the checker that my mom was eligible for the senior discount, and they got it! I don't even think she was 50 at the time, and my dad was only kidding. But hey, if it comes that easily why not? Of course my dad had a sore arm from my mom punching it later, but...they did save money, right?

My name is PJ. said...

I've been a member of AARP since my early 30's because The Source is a bit older than I am and it's afforded me little discounts and privileges over the years.

Dad had his supplemental health insurance through AARP and with darn close to $500,000 in medical care before he died, he never had to pay a single penny.

So, wear those wrinkles with pride; carry that AARP bag every Senior Citizens' day and get yourself discounts AND cupcakes.

Nancy C said...

My mom makes bank using her senior discount at Kohls. I swear, it's the first thing she did on that birthday, is go shopping.

Theresa said...

Well, when you are married to an AARP member who is age eligible... they send those to their much younger wives. That would be you and I! I use the AARP card when we go out of town. Heck, it saves 10% on the hotel. I "whoop" that card out and don't care how old they THINK I am:) Girly, I bet if the two of us showed our cards, the clerk would MAKE us show our ID:) Have a blessed day and I can't wait to see you on a future AARP commercial! Hugs from Georgia!

Ms Sparrow said...

Ah, I know how you feel. I fought AARP for many years, fending off their come-hither offers with contempt. But time catches up to us and we all give in eventually--if we live long enough!

Kim said...

sooo many times when I visit your blog you make me giggle!

jen said...

HI there Miss Jenny, I have good news! CONGRATULATIONS YOU WON!
the J.Nichelle Spring Fling Giveaway! Please send me your address so I can mail this to you quickly before Easter!

luvs and glitter
~jen
jnichelledesigns@hotmail.com

Diana said...

I remember getting my first AARP letter in the mail a few years ago. I just sighed! But their magazine is great! Love Di ♥

Brenda said...

Well I was laughing until I saw you got a free gift. I did not.....in your words, no not words, word.
Sigh.

Ms. Anthropy said...

Yep, I'm a card carrying member!

Linda said...

LOL I finally joined so I could get some hotel discounts!

Amanda said...

Jenny, the year I turned thirty I got an invitation to join AARP! My husband and kids thought it was such a hoot, FILLED IT OUT and MAILED IT! So, at thirty I was a card carrying AARP member. And, just for fun when traveling, I once asked if I could get the hotel AARP discount, and they said yes (since I had the card and all).

SquirrelQueen said...

Funny post Jenny, thanks for the laughs. I started getting AARP mailings last year and each goes in the trash. But if they offer me that "cute" travel kit I might reconsider for two seconds before trashing the offer.

You asked about my SkyWatch photos from last weekend. All but the last one are straight from the camera. The last one was a little dull looking so I increased the saturation a little.

mrs. c said...

i haven't joined yet, but I get the senior small coffee at McDonald's every morning for 55cents!

Paula said...

I've seen your picture...you should give that twelve year old a talkin' to!!

Pat @ Mille Fiori Favoriti said...

I've been an AARP memember for 6 years -- when you can't beat them join them! I wear my age with pride..I earned each and every year and gray hair and wrinkles don't scare me ... growing old is a privilege denied many ;-)

♥ Pat

jaydubblah said...

So what is AARP? Don't know it here in the UK I don't think

The Muse said...

i so want the discount menu, ms jenny! our state offers discounts...:)

we have decided to nix aarp...
but tis true...they seem to FIND you wherever you are... LOL

Kathleen said...

We called them up and quit for political reasons. But I think we don't have to be over 50 anymore, so that's a good thing!

Charlene said...

I saw you over at my friend Cami's & thought I'd come check you out. Yeck AGE is a state of mind & I'm NOT gonna mind it. Smile & have a great day. Charlene

Brenda said...

OMG! That's freakin hilarious! Yep, I say get the free gift and just buy into the lifestyle. Who knows, with the 5% here, the 10% there ... your retirement fund can grow while you get grow into your membership, LOL!

Too Many Hats said...

Talk about stylish - wow, that bag says styling like none other. Make sure to wear it with rolled down hose, that will complete the look.

Blessedmom's Simple Home said...

LOL, this was so funny Jenny! I've teased my husband like this for several years too, but I'm turning 50 this year, the same age he was when they started sending him lots of mail, so I know my turn is coming soon. Thankfully, I get the mail :-)
Blessings,
Marcia

Bits-n-Pieces said...

When we were little, my sister mistakenly announced that mail had come for my dad from the American Association of Retarded People.
Ever since then..that's been a family joke!

Vicki said...

Hey, I don't mind the discounts on my insurances either! Ya, I gave in a couple of years ago..whathteheck..

Nadeen said...

I was insulted the first time one of those came to me. Well before I was 50. But since I'm not only 43 and getting younger each year, they quit sending stuff to me. But I'm taking advantage of over 50 discounts anyway. A Win-Win.

Mighty M said...

My husband and his dad have the name name so we get AARP stuff all the time! My husband is 37!

Let the games begin! :)

PERMANENT POSIES said...

I am not sure when this was written....ok...March (just looked). I am catching up with older posts. Cool gift. Been throwing AARP away for a few years now. But....that is a cool gift for sure..hmmm. Probably not still offered. I just don't like their politics....but for a free gift....haha...I might throw all conviction out the window. You know that line in the sand that you draw is sometimes a little crooked and squiggley. Maybe this one needs to curve a little long enough for me to get that cool bag.

"Cottage By The Sea" said...

What! I didn't know you could get free stuff. Now I'm going to have to stop throwing away those AARP letters and open them.

Sandra Tyler said...

My first AARP solicitation arrives smack on my 50th birthday!