When anything from AARP shows up in the mail I don't even look at it...I just throw the envelopes at my husband saying "hey, this is for you OLD shuffleboard man!"
So I was shocked recently when he threw one back at me saying, "this is for you OLD shuffleboard woman!"
Which, frankly, ticked me off even though there was MY name, written VERY clearly, on that dumb envelope.
It is only cute when I say mean stuff like that.
If getting AARP stuff in the mail wasn't bad enough, now they are adding insult to injury and sending me e-mails, too.
And yesterday they e-mailed me that they have a free offer for me if I join.
And at first I wasn't really thinking about taking them up on it.
Even though sometimes when I am out shopping, the twelve year old clerk will say "Oh, it's your lucky day...today is Senior Discount day!"
...and I am torn between wanting to smack her and my greedy wish to save 10% off my Joanne Fabrics total.
And the free gift would be useful for that.
Just in case my wrinkles and sagging skin didn't give it away, you know!
Plus I keep seeing signs at my neighborhood grocery store saying "senior discount - 5% off your grocery total on Tuesdays".
And the free gift would be useful for distracting the cashier so she didn't ask for my ID. Because they do that, you know? It says right on the sign..."with valid drivers license" which is the only reason I haven't really ever tried it.
But the real reason I think the free gift would be cool is because now the grocery store is also giving out cupcakes, cookies and coffee on Senior shopping day!
And I'm certain that if I was carrying my cool, free gift the other Seniors would get out of my way which would make it so much easier to get to the chocolate cupcakes with the white icing and multi-colored sprinkles before they are all gone.
And that is important.
Life is sweet.
And, luckily for me, I have always kinda/sorta liked playing shuffleboard!