Oh, it’s not because of Mr. Jenny’s reply to my questioning him carefully on this. Yesterday morning I woke up at 12:13 am and poked him awake. I didn’t think he would really care because he doesn’t go to bed until around 11:00 …so it’s not like he was really sound asleep or anything.
But during one of the two Birthday parties we had for our Grands this weekend someone (who shall remain nameless) told me that I wasn’t normal. OK, they didn’t say it exactly like that but I know it’s what they meant.
You know how you can tell someone is dissing you even if they don’t come right out and say it?
Sure you do. Like when someone says to you, “Are you wearing that?” You know they’re really saying, “You look like a moron, go change or I refuse to be seen in public with you.”
So I woke up Mr. Jenny and told him that the nameless person told me I wasn’t normal.
And he said, and I quote, “well, you’re not.”
OK, no beating around the bush with that one. He just came right and said it. Out loud. To me.
In the interest of this blog post I am going to continue through my pain and tell you how I know I am normal.
It’s about teeth. I have pretty nice teeth. Sure some of them are kind of crooked and I’m missing a molar or two, but by and large my teeth are pretty OK.
And you know that saying about teeth being the true measure of a person?
You’ve never heard that saying before? Really? I can hardly believe you’ve been that sheltered.
OK, well back to me and my being normal thing.
So I let Mr. Jenny go back to sleep because I knew I would need to find hard evidence to prove to him that I was normal (and to be honest I fell back asleep).
And this morning I googled a question about teeth and I got this answer: The central incisors (front teeth) are normally 8.5 - 9.5 mm from the gumline to the biting edge (crown).
And my central incisors are EXACTLY 9.0 mm.
If I was not a normal person my teeth would be some other measurement and since they are not this proves, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I am normal!
However, now that I have measured my front teeth I am beginning to doubt that Mr. Jenny is normal. He has very short front teeth and I’m suspecting they are under 8.5 mm’s.
And I’m going to go measure them now to prove once and for all who the normal person is in our family.
And I’m wondering how I can sneak up to the person who implied I wasn’t normal in the first place and measure their teeth. I suspect they are either freakishly short of freakishly long thus indicating abnormality…
And possibly the explanation for why they were implying that I am not normal in the first place.
Doesn’t this make perfect sense to you? Yea. Me, too.
It’s so hard being me.
I’m heading back to Mr. Jenny’s office to measure his teeth now.
I’ll keep you posted on how this works out.
And...by the way...
Yes. I heard that sigh.
PS. Click here for a current giveaway and a favor for DebbieDooes.