Monday, June 28, 2010

I am technically in the correct range of normal…

Do you know how I know this?

Oh, it’s not because of Mr. Jenny’s reply to my questioning him carefully on this. Yesterday morning I woke up at 12:13 am and poked him awake. I didn’t think he would really care because he doesn’t go to bed until around 11:00 …so it’s not like he was really sound asleep or anything.

But during one of the two Birthday parties we had for our Grands this weekend someone (who shall remain nameless) told me that I wasn’t normal. OK, they didn’t say it exactly like that but I know it’s what they meant.

You know how you can tell someone is dissing you even if they don’t come right out and say it?

Sure you do. Like when someone says to you, “Are you wearing that?” You know they’re really saying, “You look like a moron, go change or I refuse to be seen in public with you.”

So I woke up Mr. Jenny and told him that the nameless person told me I wasn’t normal.

And he said, and I quote, “well, you’re not.”

OK, no beating around the bush with that one. He just came right and said it. Out loud. To me.

sniff, sniff

OK.

In the interest of this blog post I am going to continue through my pain and tell you how I know I am normal.

It’s about teeth. I have pretty nice teeth. Sure some of them are kind of crooked and I’m missing a molar or two, but by and large my teeth are pretty OK.

And you know that saying about teeth being the true measure of a person?

You don’t?

You’ve never heard that saying before? Really? I can hardly believe you’ve been that sheltered.

OK, well back to me and my being normal thing.

So I let Mr. Jenny go back to sleep because I knew I would need to find hard evidence to prove to him that I was normal (and to be honest I fell back asleep).

And this morning I googled a question about teeth and I got this answer: The central incisors (front teeth) are normally 8.5 - 9.5 mm from the gumline to the biting edge (crown).
And my central incisors are EXACTLY 9.0 mm.

SEE!!! SEEEEEE!!!!!

If I was not a normal person my teeth would be some other measurement and since they are not this proves, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I am normal!

However, now that I have measured my front teeth I am beginning to doubt that Mr. Jenny is normal. He has very short front teeth and I’m suspecting they are under 8.5 mm’s.

And I’m going to go measure them now to prove once and for all who the normal person is in our family.

And I’m wondering how I can sneak up to the person who implied I wasn’t normal in the first place and measure their teeth. I suspect they are either freakishly short of freakishly long thus indicating abnormality…

And possibly the explanation for why they were implying that I am not normal in the first place.

Doesn’t this make perfect sense to you? Yea. Me, too.

Gosh.

It’s so hard being me.

I’m heading back to Mr. Jenny’s office to measure his teeth now.

I’ll keep you posted on how this works out.

And...by the way...

Yes. I heard that sigh.

PS. Click here for a current giveaway and a favor for DebbieDooes.

post signature

46 comments:

ain't for city gals said...

Jenny, I think the heat is getting to you...

My name is PJ. said...

Yeah....when you disposable sandal melted on the pavement.....maybe that wasn't all that melted.....

just sayin'......

Jocelyn said...

Nothing better than proving someone wrong....and now I had to go and measure my teeth....and YAY....I am normal tooooo!!!

Have a great day sweet friend!!!

5thsister said...

Um, Jenny? I think the first letter from my Monday musings applies to you today. Just saying...

Diana said...

Well at least someone here in blogland is normal! That's good to here. I just feel flat out crazy! I am going to go measure my teeth now...
Love Di ♥

mbkatc230 said...

I'm reading this at work, so I have to wait until I get home to measure my teeth. This is going to drive me bonkers all day! Kat

Terra said...

ok, yeah - honestly if it wasn't Jenny Matlock writing I would left about half way in, but because it is you, and because your writing entertains no matter the topic I stuck with it...but I agree with the previous post it is kinda/sorta a weird post....

Julie Schuler said...

LOL at everyone who is running to measure their teeth!

Jill said...

You are normal. It's the people with short teeth who are not. Did you ever notice that models have large teeth, NOT small teeth? It's a fact...take it from a registered dental hygienist:-) Love your post!

The Quintessential Magpie said...

I've got an idea. Why don't you just sneak up on the person and bite them with those perfect teeth as a little reminder that your teeth are normal, hence you are, too! ;-)

XO,

Sheila

Jeanie said...

Magpie above may have the best idea...but then again, maybe not. I think "normal" may be highly overrated anyway. Nothing against your very normal teeth, but you know what I mean.

Ace said...

It's a slow, hot, and extremely muggy Monday.....otherwise I would NOT be sitting here thinking about measuring my teeth.

Meri Wiley said...

Hey Jenny,

Don't let him bite you in the process!!!! By the way, please check your email, as I sent you a message.....either you can come over here, or I can bring it to you. Let me know.

Hugs,
Meri

Country Wings in Phoenix said...

Good Morning Sweet Jenny...
Oh thank God someone is normal that I know. I have to tell you there aren't many of you left, and after being locked inside the house, I do not believe that I am anywhere near normal. I lost it a LONG time ago.

I can't wait to see what Mr. Jenny's teeth measure at, and especially the mystery person. Hummm...

I hope you have a blessed day sweetie. Thank you for making me smile largely this morning. Many hugs to you and so much love, Sherry

Vicki said...

Normal...YOU'RE NORMAL?

Aww Jenny, I'm so sorry this happened to you. When did you start feeling the symptoms? Does it hurt? Hopefully you'll recover soon and be back in the groove with the rest of us....

MWAHAHAHAHA.....

LuLu Kellogg said...

Jenny, I normally don't say things like this because I try to be a lady (most the time) but I say kick 'em in their junk. *giggle*

LuLu♥

Pixie said...

Being normal is no fun ;) it's all the Abbie Normals that make the world more interesting!

Cassie said...

Geez, I almost hate to admit it, but you're the closest thing to normal that I know.
Have a great Monday.

Cassie
JunkFest

Linda @ A La Carte said...

Jenny just when I think we are on the same wave length you go a do something like this!! Normal? you want to be Normal? Sigh...I like being uh crazy,uh I mean unusual! I guess I will go measure my teeth now....sigh!

Theresa said...

Since I have been reading your blog, I have wondered if you were normal... Now I know the answer:) nope! But I love you anyway and can't imagine not having your entertaining blog to read:). Hugs

Cheryl D. said...

Why be normal? It's over-rated. I pride myself in being abnormal. I have no idea how my teeth measure though.

Tina said...

You WANT to be normal???? That's not...normal. LOL. I pride myself on being unique (or in YellowBoy's words...strange). And I'm not measuring my teeth.

Busy Bee Suz said...

I am beginning to wonder about your family members. You are perfectly normal.
I am off to measure my teeth now.

Country Wings in Phoenix said...

Hi Jenny Sweetie...
I just wanted to pop back over. You asked about the gerbera daisies sweetie. Not only can we grown them out here (Yeah) but mine come back from year to year. They kind of die back and then come back even more beautiful the next year. I buy the prettiest ones I have from Lowes. I have not had much luck with Home Depot. I plant them in Spring, when they first come out at Lowes and they are in partly shaded/partly sunny. Water daily and they will thrive out here. Hope you have good luck with them. Give them a try sweetie.

I planted my first ones when my neice Amy got sick, as she loved them and pink for cancer. They have truly been happy ever since.

Love ya, Sherry

Mid-Atlantic Martha said...

Oh dear! I may have to measure my teeth before I comment! Goodness, I may not have been normal all these years afterall!

Brittany said...

:))) You dont even have to measure my teeth.. I'm already positive i'm not normal! lol! You crack me up!

Sumi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sumi said...

You cracked me up!I hear the same things about myself quite a few times.What you should do,if you can afford to, is to go back to that person and tell them that they are stuck up and you can prove that because you noticed that their eyeballs are slightly offcenter when they are looking straight ahead and Dr Phil said that it is a classic symptom of control freaks.

Oops.I am so mean!

Cheryl said...

Not normal? You? Quirky, strange, often a weirdo, but somehow abnormal? That's harsh.

Country Dreaming said...

Jenny--
Has the heat got to you????

You could wait till Mr. Jenny
is asleep and then measure them.

Mr. Ken really enjoyed this post when he could understand what I was saying between the laughter.

Talk soon!

Melinda

Sue said...

It's a sad, sad story, Jenny. Those who are uncomfortable and, at worst, even frightened by their own eccentricity (euphemistically speaking) try to project their deep-seated cultural alienation issues onto those around them. If the loonies can succeed in making others appear to be operating outside the range of normalcy, that must mean they're okay, too.

I, too, have found tooth measurement to be the best means of putting these nut jobs in their respective places.

Well played, my friend.

=)

Ms. Anthropy said...

I can pretty much guarantee I'm not normal, with or without measuring my teeth.

Lourie said...

I must be abnormal because my front teeth are long. But that's ok. I don't mind. Really.

jeff campbell said...

Jenny, based on my rough understanding of mathematics, I would conclude that at 9.0mm, and an assumed sample size of 3, you would be average, not "normal". Hope that does not upset your apple cart...and please don't call me at 12:13 (much later in my zone) the next time you are worried about someone else's perspective on you. That is their reality problem, not yours...I'll put this another way...It is not normal to worry over being average...I got over it a long time ago :-)

Aging Mommy said...

Um....I think a little less of that 113F sun is required for a few days and I hope poor Mr Jenny dissuades you from attempting to measure everyone's teeth :-)

laterg8r said...

love your defn of normal LOL :D

The Words Crafter said...

I'm beginning to suspect you are the real life person upon whom the character Thelma was based. Am I correct? I'm still laughing! Put on a gray wig, some glasses, knee high stockings, orthopedic shoes and go around measuring people's teeth, I DOUBLE DOG DARE YOU!!! *L. O. L'ing!*

Pat @ Mille Fiori Favoriti said...

Jenny you are not normal you are SUPER WONDERFUL! :-) I just love your sense of humor and your way of explaining things.
♥ Pat

Tgoette said...

Personally I think being normal is totally overrated. If you think about it, what is so special about being one of the average, normal beige-y types when you can distinguish yourself as special by being abnormal?

Being normal makes about as much sense as handlebars on a trout during a lunar eclipse.

H said...

I absolutely agree with Tgoette! Why on earth would you want to be normal? Normal is dull and boring and fits in with everyone elses expectations. Stuff normal!! Your posts suggest that you are unique and original and quirky. Much better!

Tina said...

lol good to hear you are normal jenny and your teeth are too ;)

Tina from
Mummy Diaries
Gossip Avenue
Travel Shack
Game FreakZ

Cami @ Creating Myself said...

Who wants to be normal? Take it as a compliment! ;o)

I sooo wish you had come to Paper Cowgirl...we'd have had such fun!!!

Sorry about your tragic accident but I see that you have picked yourself up by your sandal straps (melted or not) & learned from the experience. You HAVE learned from teh experience right? LOL

Marlene said...

Yes. Yes, you made me get out the measuring tape.

I'm 10 mm. Does this mean I'm part rabbit?!!!

KK said...

Oh course you are normal, you sound just like me! I bet your ears are normal too!

The Muse said...

Ah, I see you have tripped (ever so slightly) on that FINE LINE :)
(wink) LOL

Serline said...

I "lost" my wisdom teeth and then my canines to straighten the rest. Now I'm left with 24. Does that make me less than normal ;-P